Counselor's Corner: Gainig a New Perspective

My husband pressured washed our backyard patio over the weekend. All the patio furniture was still in the yard from the weekend cleaning. I admit I was not motivated at all to move the patio furniture back onto the patio. The patio furniture is old and we have a lot of pieces so we really have not been able to rearrange our patio. As I was spending time with God outside this morning, I asked the Lord to give me a new perspective on life. As you know Jesus is a great teacher, so instead of just answering my prayers immediately, He placed upon me to rearrange the patio furniture. Of course, I was a bit dumbfounded, not only did I not want to do this, I had no idea how this had anything to do with changing my perspective in life!

Before I began placing my patio furniture back, I asked the Lord to give me creativity and motivation. I began placing the furniture in places on my patio that I had not done before. When I was done, my patio felt completely different. I actually liked where the pieces where placed now and felt where the furniture had been placed would better serve me. I stepped back from my work and sensed I had a new perspective on my backyard. I now have a space to drink my coffee in the morning and read my Bible.

Tips on how you can gain a different perspective in life when everything seems the same or you feel like you keep going around the same “mountains:”

1.     Change your focus. What has been your focus on? All that is wrong, circumstances that are stressful or overwhelming, what you don’t have? Focus on what is good, praiseworthy and of a good report.

2.     Change your thoughts. What has consumed the majority of your thoughts? Worry, anxiety, fear, doubt? Replace all thoughts that are negative with what is good and right.

3.     Change the way you see God. What do you believe about God? That He is punishing you, mad at you, withholding goodness from you? Renew your passion for Christ by allowing Him to pour His unconditional love to you, this means you don’t have to do anything or be anyone to receive.

4.     Change the way you see yourself. Have you been overly critical of yourself, do you beat yourself up when you don’t perform perfectly for others, do you believe that you don’t have what it takes? Speak life over yourself, what God says about you and believe the Greater One resides inside of you to equip and empower you.

5.     Change the way you see other people. See people through the “lenses” of God. Some people are challenging and it would benefit you to speak what you want to see in their lives instead of what they present to you.

6.     Change your environment. If you can go on a short vacation or take one or two days where you can go explore a different area. You can even just go somewhere that you have never been before.

7.     Change your furniture arrangement. Rearrange one of your rooms in your home, or even your outdoor living space.

8.     Change your attitude. Be intentional about setting your mind on your blessings. Write down or say out loud daily what you are thankful for. All through the day keep a list or reflect on what you are grateful for.

9.     Change your view about that problem in your life that seems impossible. You may not can do anything about the problem in your life that is impossible, but God can do what you are not able to. God is the God of the impossible. Stop believing the lie, ”there is no way.”

10. Change the way you see life. Nothing is permanent, not even that issue in your life that has been going on for years. We all have good and bad days, and sometimes the bad days last a little longer than we would like. Ask God to show you the good in all the bad that has happened in your life.

11. Change the way you look at old problems. We can get discouraged if we expect old issues to remain the same. Spark the flame of hope for those “dead, dry” places and people in your life. Clear the slate in what your expectation in that things will always stay the way that they are, and that the people in your life will stay the way they are. Even clear the slate in your own life that you believe you will always be a certain way.

Ask God to give you “new eyes to see,” and a “new heart” to transform the way you view life.  If you keep doing the same things and believing the same things, then you will continue to get the same results. Changing your perspective can change your entire life. You don’t have to deny reality, you just need to believe that all things are possible (Matthew 19:26), and God promises to work all things out for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).

Counselor's Corner: Whatever You Focus on Most Will Grow

I came to the realization this morning that over the last several months, I have been focused way too much on all the things wrong in my life. After a series of disappointments, let downs, and frustrating circumstances I began to see life through a “distorted filter.” My focus became on what was wrong in my life, and I had difficulty seeing the good from the most difficult of my circumstances.

I have always tried to see the good or positive in situations, but when I allowed myself to focus primarily on the negative, my entire outlook on life changed. Life became difficult and discouraging, which eventually lead to feeling hopeless that things would get better.

►Ways you can change your focus to the good, the lovely and what is praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8):

1.     Forgive yourself. If you have struggled with focusing on the wrong things, forgive yourself and change your perspective.

2.     Forgive others. Yes, people may have hurt you, used you, and rejected you but forgive, release and bless them.

3.     Take responsibility for how you feel. You are in control of your life. People and circumstances can affect you but ultimately you can exert self-control over allowing them to spiral into a negative focus. You cannot control people or circumstances, but you can choose how you will respond.

4.     Take every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus Christ. Become aware of your thoughts, and choose to replace the negative thoughts with truth.

5.     Retrain your thoughts to intentionally see the positives in yourself and in others. If you are constantly picking out the negative qualities in yourself and in others you will see yourself and others the way the enemy wants you to.

6.     Wherever you focus your attention and energy will become your reality. How do you want to shape your reality? The enemy will certainly help you to magnify the negatives in life.

While God guards our hearts (Philippians 4:7), we are also commanded to focus our lives on things that please God (Philippians 4:8). Focusing on the positive in any situation can increase your faith. This is not to say to ignore reality, but to truly believe that God does work out all things for good who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). When we focus on the negative it weakens our faith and increases stress, anxiety and fear in our lives.

Word of Encouragement from the Counselor’s Corner: Change Your Perspective

If you have endured a long season of hardships and setbacks, you may have already come to realize the circumstances in your life may not change but your perspective about them can.

A definition of perspective is a particular attitude or way or regarding something. Changing your perspective can change your attitude. How you react to your circumstances is largely based on how you perceive your circumstances.

Optimism is a choice! Being optimistic or pessimistic is something you become through your perspective of experiences. How can two different people experience the same set of circumstances and one chooses to look at the “glass half full” and the other person chooses to see the “glass half empty?” CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to play the victim, and believe if you just did not have this or that in your life your life could be so much easier. You can CHOOSE to blame others for your hardships. Or you can CHOOSE to take full responsibility for your life and stop blaming others for your circumstances. Flip every difficult circumstance in your life to see what is good and if you can’t see any good in your situation then began to thank God for how He is going to cause good to come from the bad in your life (Romans 8:28).

Be mindful how you speak about your circumstances. The words you speak will have a huge impact on your attitude, not to mention speaking out how you feel can give the enemy an open door to bring more trouble into your life. Retrain your thoughts and eventually you will rewire your brain. If you are not used to speaking faith and positivity over your difficulties, retraining your brain can seem foreign but watch and see how much better you begin to feel when you do!

Reflect or journal: What are you saying about your challenging circumstances? What or who in your life is causing you unrest? What is your attitude toward that circumstance or person? How could trusting God more in these situations alter your attitude or perspective?

Sometimes our trials can change for the better and other times we change how we begin to look at them. Perhaps you are a black and white think, either your situations are all bad or they are all good but what if you began not to just see the bad in a situation but the good?

Inner peace that comes from God does not have to reflect our outward conditions. If you are a child of God, peace can be with you at all times and everywhere! Accepting your life brings inner harmony. Be wise to know what you can change in your life and what you cannot, and accept what you can’t.

Change your focus. If your circumstances are beginning to pile up and you can’t seem to make any sense of anything, do something else. Take a mental break from thinking about your problems, and plug into something that is refreshing.

Changing your perspective about your difficult situations can cause you to have more peace, joy, contentment and improve your physical health.