Counselor's Corner: Bringing Your Life into Balance

Have you noticed in your life that when you get too little or too much of something, your life gets out of balance?

→There are many ways that your life can get out of balance. Check as many that apply          to you:

·         Work demands

·         Extended family obligations

·         Church functions and/or volunteer opportunities

·         Watching too much TV, texting/checking emails constantly and/or social media

·         No time for fun or relaxation

·         Giving of self to others when your “cup is empty”

·         Little quality time with spouse

·         Eating too much junk food

·         Little or no exercising

·         Time spent with God is little or infrequent

Any others that may apply to you?

Life happens and sometimes curveballs come your way and you get completely out of balance. The goal is then to not stay out of balance.

Recognize the signs of being out of balance so that you may immediately get back in balance.

Signs you are out of balance:

1.      Tiredness, excessively sleepy or fatigued.

2.      Difficult concentrating or staying focused.

3.      Short-fused, irritable and/or easily frustrated.

4.      Feel tense; back and/or neck pain.

5.      Trouble laughing or smiling.

6.      Find yourself complaining and grumbling more.

7.      Difficulty enjoying the simple things of life.

8.      Overall just do not feel well.

9.      Experience high levels of stress.

How to get your life back in balance:

·         Recognize when you are out of balance.

·         Place God first above all. Spend daily time with God.

·         Prioritize what is most important-God, spouse, family, work/ministry.

·         Take a Sabbath (rest) once a week. That’s right, once a week, relax and do nothing stressful or work related.

·         Take a day off of work, or a long weekend.

·         Start exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet.

·         Be okay with saying, “No,” when you need to, and don’t feel bad when you have to!

·         Do something that you enjoy.

·         Decrease time with energy-draining people and increase time with others who inspire, encourage and lift you up.

·         Set limits on your time-phone calls, texts, emails and social media.

You will know when you are back in balance when your heart rate, breathing and blood pressure are normal. Your sleep is restful and replenishing. You have energy, have motivation and have creativity again. You do not feel tense, stress or anxiety. You are able to laugh and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Counselor's Corner: Bringing Your Life into Balance

Have you noticed in your life that when you get too little or too much of something, your life gets out of balance?

→There are many ways that your life can get out of balance. Check as many that apply to you:

·         Work demands

·         Extended family obligations

·         Church functions and/or volunteer opportunities

·         Watching too much TV, texting/checking emails constantly and/or social media

·         No time for fun or relaxation

·         Giving of self to others when your “cup is empty”

·         Little quality time with spouse

·         Eating too much junk food

·         Little or no exercising

·         Time spent with God is little or infrequent

Any others that may apply to you?

Life happens and sometimes curveballs come your way and you get completely out of balance. The goal is then to not stay out of balance.

Recognize the signs of being out of balance so that you may immediately get back in balance.

Signs you are out of balance:

1.      Tiredness, excessively sleepy or fatigued.

2.      Difficult concentrating or staying focused.

3.      Short-fused, irritable and/or easily frustrated.

4.      Feel tense; back and/or neck pain.

5.      Trouble laughing or smiling.

6.      Find yourself complaining and grumbling more.

7.      Difficulty enjoying the simple things of life.

8.      Overall just do not feel well.

9.      Experience high levels of stress.

How to get your life back in balance:

·         Recognize when you are out of balance.

·         Place God first above all. Spend daily time with God.

·         Prioritize what is most important-God, spouse, family, work/ministry.

·         Take a Sabbath (rest) once a week. That’s right, once a week, relax and do nothing stressful or work related.

·         Take a day off of work, or a long weekend.

·         Start exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet.

·         Be okay with saying, “No,” when you need to.

·         Do something that you enjoy.

·         Decrease time with energy-draining people and increase time with others who inspire, encourage and lift you up.

·         Set limits on your time-phone calls, texts, emails and social media.

You will know when you are back in balance when your heart rate, breathing and blood pressure are becoming normal. Your sleep is restful and replenishing. You have energy, have motivation and have creativity again. You do not feel tense, stress or anxiety. You are able to laugh and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner What Does it Mean to be in God’s Divine Rest?

Many of people of God are worn-out, tired, and lacking Holy Spirit fire.

We are worn-out and tired for several reasons:

We try to please man and not God. We are more concerned about what people think of us or will think of us than what God wants us to do. We don’t want to let people down so we do things God has not told us to do. We have difficulty managing our lives and our lives are out of balance. We feel we have to be a part of every church activity and have to be at every church service. We look around at what others are doing and we try and do what they are doing, but God does not call everybody to do everything. There are some Christians who want to be “super Christians,” but that is not God’s plan for your life. God has something for each of us to do, but He does not have everything for us to do. We are worn-out and tired because we don’t say, “No” to our family and friends. There is a time to help when the Holy Spirit directs you and then there is a time to let it go and let God. If you are trying to be everyone’s Holy Spirit then you are not in God’s Divine rest.

As Christians we believe that if there is a need we must meet it. There is a Divine order to your life and it follows in this order: God first, marriage second, children third, and lastly work/ministry. That’s right, your main concern right now may not be to be helping everyone in your church but being there with and for your family. A lot of Christians have this order all wrong, and you especially see this order at of place in church leadership. I do not believe that is how God wants us to live; out of order. If your marriage is falling apart or your children are in need of more family time, then it is time to reorder your life. You will risk burn-out, being worn-out, tired and frustrated if your life is out of balance.

A balance in your life will led to God’s Divine Rest. If you’re doing more in one area in your life, then chances are your life is out of balance. For instance if you spend most of your time doing church activities and attending church services then building your marriage; you are out of order. If you are tired and worn-out from doing; then stop doing and start being. Being in God’s presence more than being at this event or activity or even helping when it is not God-led.

Divine rest means your life will flow and it will have peace, rest, and order in each area of your life. One area in your life won’t be more consuming than other areas in your life. This is especially important to people in ministry, church leadership, or anyone else serving in God’s Kingdom. If you are not taking a Sabbath day in your week, and you are filling your time with needless things, you are in jeopardy of getting burned-out. There is such a thing as ministry burn-out. When you are “burning the candle at both ends” it is hard to see you may one day wear yourself out. A lot of people believe they have that kind of energy and endurance to last a lifetime, but we don’t. Our bodies are created for rest and balance. You don’t even have to be in ministry to get burned-out. You can just be a misled Christian believing that as a Christian you have to meet every need and have to help at any cost. This kind of thinking and doing will also burn you out. I have seen this time and time again being in ministry and being around Christians long enough.

 We are not supposed to be and do everything. We must pray and wait for the leading of the Holy Spirit.

 When we enable, fix, try to control outcomes, and feel responsible for everything and everyone we are in danger of falling into Christian Co-Dependence. This type of Co-Dependence is different then secular Co-Dependence that you may know about. Christian Co-Dependence is a set of beliefs and behaviors that Christians do that support and enable others dysfunctions, addictions and bad habits. As Christians, we fall prey to this because of the belief or lie that as Christians we are supposed to do everything that comes into our path. This type of behavior will also led to burn-out and exhaustion. Co-dependence can get confusing because it is wrapped around doing “good stuff.” Co-Dependency is shame-based and motivated by the needs of others, usually this stems from behaviors learned from our family of origin.

There remains therefore a rest for God’s people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased form his works as God did from His.

Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience.

Hebrews 4: 9-11, NKJV

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner: Is Your Life Out of Balance?

What are you chasing after more? Time with God, money, people, or possessions? When you begin to experience stress, fatigue, and a feeling of being burdened, it’s time to pull back and reevaluate why.

Oftentimes, we take on too much that God has not called us to, and we take on the responsibilities of others; this is called a false sense of responsibility. When we are living in God’s Divine plan, there is peace and order. When we don’t place God first, our lives become unmanageable. We have a sense that we cannot handle all of life’s problems. Let’s face it, life is tough and without spending time with God to hear His voice and direction; we will get burdened.

The enemy has a plan to create as much havoc and chaos is our lives, and keep us distracted.

Just because something seems good, does not mean it is good for us. We are not to copy what others are doing either. So many times, people get frustrated and overwhelmed because they are trying to mimic what someone else is doing.

You are not meant to do everything and be everything to everybody, this can lead to people-pleasing. If you please man more and not God, you are going to be weighed down.

God has specific tasks for each one of us, but you will not know what those are unless you spend time with God. Our busyness, is not Godly or Holy, but a tactic of the enemy to wear us out. Don’t try and follow what the crowd does, but know what your unique plan is from God.

Other people will not like it when you tell them, “No,” be prepared for this. You must know what YOU are supposed to do. Stop looking around at everyone else for direction. God has not called you to be a copycat. You will find that others will want you to do what they are doing, but you must step away from the desire to please man.

To get your life back in order and free from the pressures and demands of people and life, pull away and be with God alone, especially when you are exhausted. Being tired and overworked is not God’s plan for you. It does not matter what other’s expect from you, but what God desires for you.

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-30

Some questions to reflect on:

1.      What do you need to cut back on or cut out of your life to be free from over-responsibility?

2.      What do you crave and desire most from your life? Are you pursuing God first?

3.      Are you a people-pleaser? How do you know? What can you do differently?

4.       Do you feel overwhelmed, burdened? If yes, why? Do you believe this is God’s plan for you?

Counselor’s Corner: Listen When Your Body is saying to Rest

In our fast paced culture, being busy is a mark of success. But is it really? Being busy and on the go all the time can create havoc on your physical bodies. Not getting the proper amounts of down time can cause stress and a decrease in your immune system. If you are under any additional stress in your life, then taking time to rest your body will be essential; otherwise your body will cause you to rest.

If you have any chronic stress in your life, taking sufficient times of rest can help rebuild your energy levels and aid in strengthening your immune system. In our society we are not taught that rest is good, in fact, we are encouraged to “burn the candle at both ends.” Life is short no matter how many years that you live. You can work constantly and never take vacation time and you can stay so busy with outside activities that the day is just a blur. What’s the point in working so hard you can’t enjoy the simple things in life? For more money, a better title/position, or to get the applaud of others? There usually is a time in everyone’s life that you have to work hard such as when you are in college and have to work full-time, and sometimes people have to work two jobs because they are a single parent. I am not referring to people who are in the “you gotta do what you gotta do,” phase in their life, but for people who never, ever rest. Even when you are in a stage in your life that is hectic, you can still carve sometime for rest. We all get time off, but many use their time off unwisely by running and doing when they may need to rest. Yes, there are times that you can “play hard,” just not when your body is saying, “I feel tired.” Many push themselves and their limits and end up getting sick.

Your life should be balanced. Equal amounts of time for work, play and rest. Some days you may need a little more rest because of persistent stressors that can exhaust your energy levels and diminish your immune system’s ability to fight colds and viruses.

Reflect and ponder: Do you push yourself to keep going and doing when your body is telling you it needs rest? Why do you believe you feel the need to keep going?

Counselor’s Corner:

Your body will let you know when it needs rest. If you have experienced several of the following, your body may be saying, “Slow down.”

·        Fatigue. Difficulty getting up in the morning

·        Difficulty staying or falling asleep

·        Difficulty concentrating

·        Distracted and lose of focus

·        Irritable, short-fused, or agitated

·        Upset stomach

·        Headaches

·        General malaise

·        Easily frustrated

·        Appetite changes-decrease or increase in eating habits

·        Sighing frequently

·        Shortness of breath

·        Anxiousness

·        Depression

·        Loss of motivation

·        Lack of creativity

What can you do during your times of rest?

1.      Turn off your cell phone and check at the end of the day.

2.      Do not engage in social media. Checking your Facebook status will not cause you to rest.

3.      Lay down and take a nap.

4.      Watch a movie that is enjoyable and eat your favorite snack.

5.      Take a warm bubble bath.

6.      Take a leisurely walk in your neighborhood.

7.      Get your chores out of the way so you don’t do any chores during your time of rest.

8.      Read a good book.

9.      Spend quiet time with God. Be still and listen for the Holy Spirit to speak.

10.  Spend time just “soaking” with worship music.

11.  Sit outside on observe God’s beautiful creations.

What not to do when your body needs rest:

1.      Running to and fro when your body is depleted.

2.      Hanging out with people who drain you.

3.      Checking your phone, texts, emails, and social media.

4.      Doing heavy chores or chores that take a while to complete.

5.      Worrying and analyzing your problems over and over.

6.      Doing anything that would cause stress.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.

Psalm 23:2-3

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work.

Genesis 2:2-3

Then because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, He said to them,” Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Mark 6:31

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Is Your Life Out of Balance?

What are you chasing after more? Time with God, money, people, or possessions? When you begin to experience stress, fatigue, and a feeling of being burdened, it’s time to pull back and reevaluate why.

Oftentimes, we take on too much that God has not called us to, and we take on the responsibilities of others; this is called a false sense of responsibility. When we are living in God’s Divine plan, there is peace and order. When we don’t place God first, our lives become unmanageable. We have a sense that we cannot handle all of life’s problems. Let’s face it, life is tough and without spending time with God to hear His voice and direction; we will get burdened.

The enemy has a plan to create as much havoc and chaos is our lives, and keep us distracted.

Just because something seems good, does not mean it is good for us. We are not to copy what others are doing either. So many times, people get frustrated and overwhelmed because they are trying to mimic what someone else is doing.

You are not meant to do everything and be everything to everybody, this can lead to people-pleasing. If you please man more and not God, you are going to be weighed down.

God has specific tasks for each one of us, but you will not know what those are unless you spend time with God. Our busyness, is not Godly or Holy, but a tactic of the enemy to wear us out. Don’t try and follow what the crowd does, but know what your unique plan is from God.

Other people will not like it when you tell them, “No,” be prepared for this. You must know what YOU are supposed to do. Stop looking around at everyone else for direction. God has not called you to be a copycat. You will find that others will want you to do what they are doing, but you must step away from the desire to please man.

To get your life back in order and free from the pressures and demands of people and life, pull away and be with God alone, especially when you are exhausted. Being tired and overworked is not God’s plan for you. It does not matter what other’s expect from you, but what God desires for you.

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-30

Some questions to reflect on:

1.      What do you need to cut back on or cut out of your life to be free from over-responsibility?

2.      What do you crave and desire most from your life? Are you pursuing God first?

3.      Are you a people-pleaser? How do you know? What can you do differently?

4.       Do you feel overwhelmed, burdened? If yes, why? Do you believe this is God’s plan for you?