Counselor's Corner: How To Get Out of The Pit

What are your thoughts towards yourself? Do you tend to focus on your faults, mistakes and weaknesses more than your strengths? If you make a mistake do you belittle yourself and call yourself destructive names? Are you concerned about others perceptions about you? Are you trying to get other people out of their “pit” while you are still in your “pit?”

Focusing on your weaknesses will cause you to stay in the pit. This pit is dug by your enemy the devil to keep you down with the hopes you will never climb out.

Not everyone stays in the pit, some get out quickly because they know who they belong to-Jesus Christ, and some get stuck in the pit because they believed all the lies that the enemy whispered in their ears and received the lies as TRUTH!

For the ones who got stuck in the pit BUT starting crawling out inch by inch they have learned about battle. When they come out of the miry, dark pit, they will come out with some dirt and some scars from the climb up but will be a fierce warrior for the Kingdom of God. When you have been in the pit and you find out how to get out, you never want to go back. When you have been covered in darkness you crave the light!

Once you get stuck in the pit, it can take years to get out because as you’re in the pit the enemy begins to strip you of all you know to be true about God and His goodness. In the pit the enemy shovels by the truckload all the mistakes, regrets and past failures you have endured. You begin believing in the pit that God’s blessings are for others, and that you are being punished for receiving the very things your enemies are getting.

For some in the pit they begin to wallow in self-pity and learn to become a victim. Others try and reach down to get them out of the pit and they themselves fall into the pit. If someone is in the pit and they are surrounded by self-pity, blaming, and being a victim-you can’t pull them out of the pit; only Jesus Christ can reach down that dark pit and get them out!

If you have gotten out of the pit, be careful of others who want to pull you in the pit with them.

If you are around someone who confesses Jesus Christ as their Savior but they also confess the “woe is me story,” pray that God will get them out of their pit of destruction but you keep moving forward away from the pit.

If you are in the pit and want out know that there will be some warfare in the beginning. This is because the enemy enjoyed oppressing you and kept you bound from living the abundant life, but when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired-you learn to fight and disarm the enemy at every step. You will need to get up every day suited up as a warrior, and not back down until all of your enemies are under your feet. Decree and declare every day that you have the victory in Jesus Christ and that you will not only get out of the pit but you are staying out for good. Your focus must begin to change from all that is wrong with yourself, others, and your circumstances.

Out of the pit thinking focuses on what is good about yourself and your circumstances. Getting out of the pit and staying out will require that you know who you belong to and your authority in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ has given believers the authority to trample upon snakes and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy-USE THIS AUTHORITY! You will need to become aware of hidden pits that are secretly laid out by the enemy with the hopes you will stumble in the pit again. Hidden pits cannot always be seen coming, so you will need to know what the enemy has used in the past to throw you in the pit, and when you sense these similar things are coming your way-resist immediately and turn the opposite way.

If you want to stay out of the pit you cannot go after others in the pit, nor try and rescue them from their pit. You want to keep your heart and spirit guarded from anyone who is saying, “Help me, help me,” yet not doing much to get themselves out of their pit. Of course, we should help those who cannot help themselves but this is not what I am referring to here. I am referring to people who have gotten comfortable in their pit, been there for years and want you to get them out while they continue to do things that are destructive.

The bottom line is you can get someone out of their pit, but if they continue doing what they are doing, they will go back to their pit. Each time we go back to the pit, it will get harder to get out. That is why you see many people repeating destructive cycles in their lives and never overcoming them.

Are you ready to stay out the pit and never go back? Staying out the pit does not mean you will never have to face a challenge but it does mean you are believing the truth about God’s blessings and goodness towards you, and you no longer condemn and beat yourself up for your failures, weaknesses and faults. You see yourself now as a daughter or son of the living King. You can give yourself permission not to be perfect, and you can now enjoy yourself. Victorious overcomer is embedded into your spirit.

Counselor's Corner: Overcoming the Victim Mentality

Successful people are rarely victims.

Victims by definition are people who do not acknowledge responsibility for their actions and who blame outside forces. Victims have a poor me attitude and wallow in self-pity. Victims feel that others are against them and that is the cause of their unhappiness. Victims portray themselves as unfortunates who need rescuing.

If you have a history of helping or fixing others, you will attract victims!

Victims will drain you with their endless stories of how others have wronged them, and how they can never catch a break. Victims will cause you to burn out by their constant neediness. Victims do not want to discuss solutions to their problems, but will exhaust you to no-end with repeatedly blaming others for their misery.

Having a victim mentality is a learned behavior that usually begins in early childhood. Those with a victim mentality have difficulty expressing and processing negative emotions. Victims have a core belief that life is out of their control, and this results in hopelessness and helplessness. Victims will blame any and every scapegoat such as circumstances or other people. Victims often live in one crisis after another, and never see their part in the crisis. A person with a victim mentality does not make any effort to learn from their mistakes, and that others actions excuse them from taking responsibility.

Becoming a victor instead of a victim:

1.      Take responsibility for every action and circumstance in your life-you may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control your responses. When you embrace this attitude, life’s circumstances will no longer control you because you are free to choose how you will respond.

2.      Do not surrender power over your life to others. In other words do not let your life be driven by your environment but by your inner attitude that you get to choose.

3.      Understand the world owes you nothing, and believing you have certain “rights” will lead to disappointment and anger.

4.      If you are ready to move on with your life and get unstuck you must stop blaming others for your woes. When you blame others, you leave yourself powerless.

5.      Recognize that from time to time you may feel sorry for yourself, just don’t camp there! Everyone will face challenges in life, but don’t go sit in a corner and “nurse your wounds” over and over.

6.      Start looking for the good in the situations that cause you to complain or to blame. Take your power back! Don’t give any person or circumstance that much control.

As children of a sovereign God, we are never victims of our circumstances.

Counselor’s Corner: Overcoming the Victim Mentality and Becoming a Victor

Successful people are rarely victims. Victims by definition are people who do not acknowledge responsibility for their actions and who blame outside forces. Victims have a poor me attitude and wallow in self-pity. Victims feel that others are against them and that is the cause of their unhappiness. Victims portray themselves as unfortunates who need rescuing.

If you have a history of helping or fixing others, you will attract victims! Victims will drain you with their endless stories of how others have wronged them, and how they can never catch a break. Victims will cause you to burn out by their constant neediness. Victims do not want to discuss solutions to their problems, but will exhaust you to no-end with repeatedly blaming others for their misery.

Having a victim mentality is a learned behavior that usually begins in early childhood. Those with a victim mentality have difficulty expressing and processing negative emotions. Victims have a core belief that life is out of their control, and this results in hopelessness and helplessness. Victims will blame any and every scapegoat such as circumstances or other people. Victims often live in one crisis after another, and never see their part in the crisis. A person with a victim mentality does not make any effort to learn from their mistakes, and that others actions excuse them from taking responsibility.

Reflect and ponder: Do you know someone with a victim mentality or do you struggle with being a victim of your circumstances?

Counselor’s Corner:

Becoming a victor instead of a victim:

1.      Take responsibility for every action and circumstance in your life-you may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control your responses. When you embrace this attitude, life’s circumstances will no longer control you because you are free to choose how you will respond.

2.      Do not surrender power over your life to others. In other words do not let your life be driven by your environment but by your inner attitude that you get to choose.

3.      Understand the world owes you nothing, and believing you have certain “rights” will lead to disappointment and anger.

4.      If you are ready to move on with your life and get unstuck you must stop blaming others for your woes. When you blame others, you leave yourself powerless.

5.      Recognize that from time to time you may feel sorry for yourself, just don’t camp there! Everyone will face challenges in life, but don’t go sit in a corner and “nurse your wounds” over and over.

6.      Start looking for the good in the situations that cause you to complain or to blame. Take your power back! Don’t give any person or circumstance that much control.

As children of a sovereign God, we are never victims of our circumstances.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

I loathe my own life; I will give full vent to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. Job 10:1

You said, “Ah, woe is me!” For the Lord has added sorrow to my pain; I am weary with my groaning and have found no rest!” Jeremiah 45:3