Counselor's Corner: Why is Maintaining Peace So Difficult at Times

Have you had one of those days or weeks where you had difficulty maintaining your peace? Did you truly desire to walk in peace but turmoil, chaos or stressful situations got the better of you? If you answered yes to the above questions, you are not alone!

The enemy can set up situations that push your buttons and work your last nerve! I had one of those weeks last week. As much as I desperately wanted to maintain peace, I blew it, not at first but after the about the 50^th distraction in one week I began to come unraveled. I had already had a long summer and was finally looking forward to having peace again.  As women, we especially have to be more guarded to maintain our peace during our monthly cycles. It can be challenging to have your hormones take you on brief roller coaster ride while concurrently dealing with people and circumstances that make you want to come unglued.

If you are having trouble maintaining the peace that Christ has reassured us we have (not the peace that the world gives), then it is time to check where the enemy has caused a breach in your life and robbed you of your peace.

The enemy will use the same tactics that worked before to get you upset. The way the enemy may “wrap” your package may be different, but rest assured it is the same package. The enemy studies and observes your reactions to what comes your way. If before you lost your peace over a certain situation, then that “package” will be used against you again but it will be wrapped differently so you don’t suspect it could possibly be the same trick.

→Know your triggers!

If you feel your peace is leaving you, step away, walk away, run, turn away and get under the covering of the Almighty Father.

How do you stay under the covering of the Lord and maintain peace during times when you would rather tell someone off or have a temper tantrum?

1.      Observe your body-are your hands clinched, shoulders and neck tense, stomach ailments, or headaches? Your body will begin to tell you that you are losing peace, and stress and tension will replace balance or homeostasis in your body. You will begin to feel when peace leaves you.

2.      If you are reacting to your circumstances- stress and high amounts of adrenal are pumping through your body and you may begin speaking out your frustrations or having thoughts that are ungodly.

3.      Complaining and murmuring replaces thankfulness. Our focus becomes distorted and now we can see through the filter of what the enemy may be doing.

4.      Control is lost-When we lose control it can become an open invitation for the enemy to inflict us with our past sins.

→If you observe any of the above in your life at any time STOP because you cannot win the battle on your own.

·         Get under the covering quickly of God as many times as you have to. If you are at work and cannot leave the office, find a quiet spot like the bathroom stall!

·         Ask God to strengthen you and help you rise above the annoyances, distractions and any stress. Don’t react! The enemy would love to set you up so you can lose peace.

·         Take deep cleansing breaths. Inhale deeply and exhale your breathe slowly at least 3 times and as often as you need to. Breathing deeply relaxes tension in your body and reduces your blood pressure.

·         Write down at least 5 things you are thankful for, this helps get your focus on what is going right in your life.

·         Sit at the feet of Jesus and soak your mind and spirit in worship music.

·         Ask God if He wants to teach you something through your circumstances.

·         Begin declaring victory over your circumstances before you see the breakthrough.

·         Take a warm bath with Epson salt to relax tense muscles and play worship music as you bathe. Sing and praise while you are relaxing in your bath.

·         Wait with expectation that God will come through and restore your peace.

Word of Encouragement from the Counselor’s Corner: Change Your Perspective

If you have endured a long season of hardships and setbacks, you may have already come to realize the circumstances in your life may not change but your perspective about them can.

A definition of perspective is a particular attitude or way or regarding something. Changing your perspective can change your attitude. How you react to your circumstances is largely based on how you perceive your circumstances.

Optimism is a choice! Being optimistic or pessimistic is something you become through your perspective of experiences. How can two different people experience the same set of circumstances and one chooses to look at the “glass half full” and the other person chooses to see the “glass half empty?” CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to play the victim, and believe if you just did not have this or that in your life your life could be so much easier. You can CHOOSE to blame others for your hardships. Or you can CHOOSE to take full responsibility for your life and stop blaming others for your circumstances. Flip every difficult circumstance in your life to see what is good and if you can’t see any good in your situation then began to thank God for how He is going to cause good to come from the bad in your life (Romans 8:28).

Be mindful how you speak about your circumstances. The words you speak will have a huge impact on your attitude, not to mention speaking out how you feel can give the enemy an open door to bring more trouble into your life. Retrain your thoughts and eventually you will rewire your brain. If you are not used to speaking faith and positivity over your difficulties, retraining your brain can seem foreign but watch and see how much better you begin to feel when you do!

Reflect or journal: What are you saying about your challenging circumstances? What or who in your life is causing you unrest? What is your attitude toward that circumstance or person? How could trusting God more in these situations alter your attitude or perspective?

Sometimes our trials can change for the better and other times we change how we begin to look at them. Perhaps you are a black and white think, either your situations are all bad or they are all good but what if you began not to just see the bad in a situation but the good?

Inner peace that comes from God does not have to reflect our outward conditions. If you are a child of God, peace can be with you at all times and everywhere! Accepting your life brings inner harmony. Be wise to know what you can change in your life and what you cannot, and accept what you can’t.

Change your focus. If your circumstances are beginning to pile up and you can’t seem to make any sense of anything, do something else. Take a mental break from thinking about your problems, and plug into something that is refreshing.

Changing your perspective about your difficult situations can cause you to have more peace, joy, contentment and improve your physical health.

When Hope is Lost

Do you ever feel like you have been beaten down by life and the cares of this life? God knows and cares. He sees and knows every tear you have cried. Please don’t give up, even if it is painful and unrelenting now. Keep going, God promises to work ALL things out for good who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28). You may have been going through intense times of suffering and lose, and you feel you cannot manage one more day. Surrender today your hurt and pain, to the One who can take your pain and redeem you. What you’re going through is just for a season, it won’t last forever. Though it may feel like forever, it will not be forever.

Get up today and declare you will be victorious over this pain or trial. Don’t react to your circumstances but act on the truth of God’s Word. Stand and be still and know that God is there. It does not always feel like God is there when we have lost hope or endured tragedy after tragedy, but God knows your situation and does not plan to leave you in this state. Would you step out today, and say to God, “Restore my hope and cause good to come out of my pain.” Just step out in faith and ask and He will hear you.

You are more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ. No matter what you have done, there is still hope. You might say, “Oh, I have messed up so many times…” Get up today and start over with Christ’s help. No matter what your circumstance looks like, you can have hope. So don’t give up or give into the lies of the enemy that would just want you to give up and lose all hope. When we lose hope, we sink into depression. Without hope there is no light but darkness.

There is hope for your situation no matter how bleak it looks. No matter how long it has been going on, or how long you have been praying. Stir up hope today in your spirit. The enemy would tell you it’s hopeless and would want you to stop believing in the goodness of God. God is good and He does have a good plan for your life.

Meditate and confess these scriptures daily:

No one whose hope is in you will be put to shame. Psalm 25:3

You are my God and Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:5

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22

In your name I will hope, for your name is good. Psalm 52:9

Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. Psalm 62:5

I have put my hope in your word. Psalm 119:74

Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed. Psalm 119:116

May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

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Understanding Mental and Emotional Stability

Spiritual maturity and emotional maturity go hand-in-hand; you cannot have one without the other. Emotional health involves knowing your limits, and not reacting act of emotions to circumstances. Everyone has limits, and it is wise to know yours.

Have you ever began your morning and said something like this, “Today, I will not let the enemy kill the joy and peace I desire to have.” Then something happens in your day and you feel emotionally drained. What happened? Reaction to circumstances. The enemy set you up by “baiting” you with people and circumstances that are difficult, stressful, and overwhelming. The enemy hopes we will react in our emotions, because this will usually lead us into sin. We are not to be led by our emotions and feelings; they are deceitful and constantly changing. We will encounter trials, stress and difficult people, and sometimes when we our “off-guard,” but we must take a step back, go and pray, and be still and quiet as we wait for God’s intervention.

 

Do you feel like this sometimes?

Some key factors that you are at your limit emotionally:

1.        Emotions are running high.

2.       Stress and/or fatigue.

3.       Short temper.

4.       Lack of grace and patience.

It is important to know if you have experienced emotional trauma and stress, so that you can heal and know how to deal properly in certain situations. Emotional trauma and stress can happen once or it can be a series of stressful events. If that is something you have endured, it is likely you will have a high stress/emotional response to current stressful situations. Is it hopeless? No, with acknowledging your hurt, facing the truth of your limits, and totally relying on God’s help and healing; there is hope.

People are more likely to be traumatized by stressful events if they are already under a heavy load. Childhood trauma can increase the risk of future trauma, and the way we deal and process stressful events. Emotional stress can be detrimental to your health and well-being. Find out what is causing your mental and emotional instability, and begin being proactive and make needed changes to your life. Your body is not able to defend itself against emotional stress, which in turn triggers mental and emotional instability.

 Causes of emotional trauma and stress:

1.       It happened unexpectedly.

2.       You were unprepared for it.

3.       You were powerless to prevent it.

4.       It happened repeatedly (exposure to continued stressful situations).

5.       It happened in childhood.

As Christians, we should make it a priority to have mental and emotional stability, but we may need to first understand what is causing it and what actions need to be taken to deal effectively with current and past stressors. What has occurred in the past as a stressful event can still cause us to react emotionally if we are continually exposed to that stressor. Know your triggers and past hurts, and how they could still be triggering an emotional response currently. If you experience frequent ups and downs emotionally, it is time to examine why and seek God for intervention; it is not His will for you to live unstable emotionally.

 Having a better balance on your emotions will cause you to feel better physically and to have an increase in energy. It is time to ask yourself,” What am I expending my emotional energy on?” Remember, the enemy knows what will cause you to react and to get upset. Having emotional stability will enable you to peacefully and calmly go through difficult situations. Emotional stability does not mean suppressing your emotions, but controlling them.

A hallmark of a mentally and emotionally stable person is the ability to control one’s emotions.

Keys to mental and emotional stability:

1.       First, admit your limits. What you can and cannot handle. Be okay with that, and don’t compare what other people can endure.

2.       Recognize the people that deplete your energy, are unhealthy, and cause you stress. You may want to reevaluate your time and exposure to them.

3.       Don’t take on more than you can handle; whether at work, ministry, church, or family.

4.       Learn to say, “No,” when you are feeing stressed, tired, sick, or just need some alone time with yourself or God.

5.       Don’t take on other’s issues, problems, or stress. We can pray for people, but we cannot do for others if we ourselves are depleted.

6.       Do not react to your feelings or emotions. Pray first.

7.       Exercise, eat healthy, and maintain a trustworthy/healthy support system.

8.       Journal by processing your pent-up feelings, and talk to God about your deepest concerns.

Understanding that if you are mentally and emotionally unstable, it is likely you have endured some emotional/psychological trauma and stress, and that you need God’s help to overcome these damaged emotions. Don’t be hard on yourself, if you have emotional instability, but recognize that there is hope and a way to cope effectively.

1 Peter 5:8-9, Teaches us to be well-balanced and temperate (self-controlled) to keep satan from devouring us.

Psalm 94:13, God wants to give us power to stay calm in adversity.