Counselor's Corner: Is the Holy Spirit Leading You or Your Flesh?

Do you say, “Yes,” to people when you don’t feel that you have the time or the peace about doing whatever they asked of you? Are you lead by guilt, people-pleasing or by God?

Without being led by the Holy Spirit, we can do things we are not supposed to.

The enemy loves when we stay distracted and busy doing and going. I believe busyness is straight from the enemy. If you are a people-pleaser or need people approval it is very likely you will please man rather than being led by what the Holy Spirit wants. It feels better to our flesh to go along with what everyone else is doing.

Just because something seems right to do, does not mean that it is!

We can wear ourselves out by agreeing to do everything that comes into our path. There are certain things we are not to be involved with even if it seems good and right. The Holy Spirit knows what is best for us, and what we can handle.

Reflect: Do you tend to make decisions or agree to do something because everyone else is going along but you already have a full plate or don’t have peace? Or do you just do what your flesh wants, not stopping to ask the Holy Spirit if He wants you to be involved?

The flesh is always deceiving-it wants what it wants! Moving in the flow of the Holy Spirit makes you come alive and energizes you, operating in the flesh usually drains you of energy and spiritual strength.

How do you know the Holy Spirit is leading you?

1.      Do you make rash or impulsive decisions? Learn to say, “I need to pray about that,” before agreeing to something.

2.      Wait on the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you before forging ahead with your agenda. Yes, there are times we have to make quick decisions, but if you have developed an intimate relationship with God and are acquainted with His ways through reading the Word and prayer, even when you have to make a quick decision it will be more likely you will make one that is Holy Spirit led. Training yourself to be still before God to hear His voice will equip you better when you need to make a quick decision, you will already know how the Holy Spirit speaks.

3.      The Holy Spirit never, ever works in confusion. There is an unexplainable peace when the Holy Spirit is prompting you. If you are not being led by the Spirit, you will experience confusion, chaos, lack of direction, and stress.

4.      When the Holy Spirit leads-He leads! You don’t have to figure out what or how to do something because the Holy Spirit places the answer deep into your spirit. The Holy Spirit does not always give concrete answers, sometimes we just know the “direction” we should take. Sometimes God just wants us to step out in faith before He gives us more detail, but even then, there is peace. You can do something afraid and still have peace!

5.      There is an inner-knowing deep in your spirit, you just know you are supposed to do something.

6.      The Holy Spirit never, ever operates in guilt! If you hear,” You should be, you ought to be or you need to be doing something,” these are laced in guilt from the enemy.

7.      Usually when the Holy Spirit is directing you to do something you will have confirmation with other believes-particularly your spouse if you’re married.

Counselor's Corner: Get Back on Track and Gain Your Momentum Again!

Have you had a difficult time staying on track? Maybe you have desired to accomplish your goals and have even tried multiple times to move forward with them. What happened? You lost focus and allowed distractions, annoyances, and stresses to sidetrack you.

Distractions can come from everyday living and some are sent from the enemy in hopes you will focus on them and get little or nothing accomplished. Whatever you focus on will become bigger. Before long, you lose your momentum. What is momentum? The strength of something that is moving or increasing in forward motion.

→Distractions, annoyances and stresses can cause you to stop and pay attention to them thus    decreasing your forward motion of pursuing your goals.

→Steps to GETTING BACK ON TRACK AND Gaining your momentum again:

1.      Get up earlier than everyone around you and connect to your power source-Jesus Christ. Spend time early being still and quiet in the presence of the Lord. Let God speak to your spirit about any strategies that He may show you to defeat and overcome any plan of the enemy to derail and sidetrack you.

2.      Make a daily schedule and stick to it as much as you can. Schedules can help keep you focused when the distractions come. If you are so distracted you cannot focus, get up, breathe deeply and pray that God will help you to focus.

3.      Keep a routine, that means have certain activities that you do the same every day. An example would be having a routine of going to bed and getting up at the same time.

4.      Refocus your attention from whatever bothers you or keeps you from moving forward. You can refocus by taking a walk in nature, talking to God about it, or IGNORING THE STIMULI.

5.      Make your bed every day! That’s right, make your bed! Completing tasks, even small ones makes you feel successful and productive. Doing this very small task first thing every morning registers to your brain that you are capable of being productive.

6.      Eliminate energy drains and recharge. Reward yourself for getting back on track and getting tasks accomplished and do something that is enjoyable.

7.      Get motivated again. Set your mind you will go all the way through this time. Motivation starts in your mind-believe that you can and you can!

8.      Connect with people who inspire you and especially those who inspire your dreams.

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner Why Do We Get Frazzled?

What a hectic week I had last week. By the end of the week I was tired, stressed, and a bit irritable. Can anyone relate to this madness of keeping up with the demands and fast pace life we can have? By the weekend, I realized I made everything and everyone a priority over placing my time with God first.

We will suffer either mentally, physically, or spiritually when we put things ahead of God.

                                                   

                                              

Why do we get frazzled?

1.      We take on too much responsibility.

2.      We do things out of obligation rather than God directing us.

3.      We fear saying, “No,” to others and letting people down.

4.      As women, we seriously think we can do it all.

5.      The enemy sends distractions (even things that seem like a good thing).

If you have felt this way, run to the feet of Jesus immediately. Tell someone, “No, I can’t today,” or shut off your phone, stop obsessively checking your emails and social media, and shut the TV off.

If you can carve out a day or half a day to replenish with God. Things can wait, and God will send someone else to help whoever you believe needs your help.

When you feel your “cup is empty” you will exhibit these signs:

1.      Fatigue/exhaustion

2.      Irritability/anger

3.      Stress/overwhelmed

4.      Feeling burned-out

5.      Anxious/restless

6.      Forgetful/easily distracted

7.      Depression/discouragement

8.      A lack of peace, joy, and contentment

9.      Weakened immune system

It is not God’s will for you to feel burned-out and exhausted. Stop comparing yourself to others. Some people can do more and go more, and some have not learned how to place boundaries on their lives. Copying what others do is a sure recipe for disaster. God did not create you to be like others, and to follow what someone else does. Be your own person, and be comfortable that you are not built like anyone else.

Reprioritize your schedule, and leave only the things you must do. You will feel different for doing this. Few people, including Christians and sometimes especially Christians, have difficulty balancing and prioritizing their lives; that is why you cannot follow after others. Even if you are the only one who has balance in their lives, then be a leader.

As things come your way, ask God, “Is this what you have planned for me?” So many people never do this, and wind-up doing just whatever falls into their path. Do what God is leading you to do. This will require you to not be a people-pleaser, and to be obedient to God. 

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner: Be Free From Entanglements with Others!

We are called to be Holy and to live righteously before God. We are also called to be a light in this dark world, but what happens when you become entangled in helping others?

Merriam-Webster defines entanglement as something that entangles, confuses, or ensnares. The condition of being deeply involved. Synonyms for entanglement are web, mesh, net, noose, quicksand, snare, toil, and trap.

Free Dictionary defines entanglement as twisting together or entwine into a confusing mass. To complicate or confuse.

Have you ever tried to help someone repeatedly and felt you were getting entangled in their problems?

The more you try and help the more you feel like you are getting into quicksand and you feel there is no answer to their situations, which in turn causes you frustration. You start second guessing if you are a “real Christian.” You feel a sense of false guilt over not being able to cope and handle all the problems that others bring to you. Many times the very people you are entangled with are piling heaps of guilt and manipulation upon you. This is especially difficult when dealing with loved ones and family. There is a deeper entanglement that comes from the ones we love. We don’t want them to suffer and to hurt, but what happens when all the helping is not helping but hurting you?

The enemy will bring situations and people into you path to distract and derail your purposes. There are some signs to watch for when you have gone too deep with someone.

1.      Did you feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to intervene or was it pressure from the other person or a desire to please?

2.      Are you struggling with your walk with God? Feeling spiritually bankrupt? Your time with God is lacking and you are having trouble focusing on hearing God’s voice.

3.      You may feel discouraged, defeated, and like a failure.

4.      You feel stress, turmoil, tension, strife, chaos, and confusion.

5.      You can’t seem to get a clear or direct answer from the person you are trying to help. It seems when you talk with the person you are trying to help it appears muddy or confusing.

6.      You may experience fatigue and even sickness.

7.      The person you are trying to help does not listen to the advice you are trying to give to them, and they continue to do what they are doing; meanwhile still wanting you to fix their problems.

8.      You begin to feel frustrated, irritable, and maybe even angry.

9.      You are consumed with trying to intervene, and maybe even losing sleep as a result. Your focus is on their situation, and not on Christ.

10.  Your peace is gone and joy has dissipated.

11.  No amount of intervention or help is never enough for the person or people you are entangled with.

12.  You feel emotionally, physically and spiritually drained.

13.  You feel distracted and out of balance.

14.   You feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride with their issues.

15.  You try and point them to Jesus but discern they are not sincere in seeking Him.

You may be dealing with a toxic person. To get entangled in a toxic person’s issues is dangerous to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Not all people who say they want help, in fact really want help.

If the Holy Spirit is leading you, there will be harmony, peace, and a desire to be around the other person you are trying to help. If you begin to dread being around that person or talking to them, it is a sign that it is not a healthy relationship and the Holy Spirit is not directing you.

Restoration and reconciliation are always hoped for in these types of relationships, but until Christ is at the center some precautions need to be made for your sanity.

1.      Take a time-out from these destructive relationships. Regain your peace and order. Ask the Lord Jesus to step-in and take full control, and you step out before you go under with them.

2.      Confront in love. The person that repeatedly causes drama and chaos in your life should be confronted as the Holy Spirit directs. Don’t do this in anger, but with the hope of true repentance.

3.      Set proper boundaries and consequences. This is important in dealing with ones who say they are sorry but continue to repeat the same behaviors over and over again. You will need to keep a guard up, and observe their behavior for a time (a solid year of consistent behavior is a good indication of true change), before realigning your life to theirs.

4.      Keep in mind that Jesus is not expecting to wear yourself out to help others who are not really helping themselves.

5.      Begin taking care of you and foster the good and positive relationships in your life. Stay away from toxic and negative people as much as possible. Nurture yourself and love yourself.

6.      Many times when we are engaged with other toxic people we neglect our other relationships that are satisfying. Take time to rebuild and restore satisfying relationships.

7.      Forgive yourself and let go of all guilt. Guilt is a tool straight from the pit of hell. It NEVER comes from God.

Remain in love and forgiveness towards ones who abuse and hurt you. Don’t allow any bitterness or anger to cause you to stumble.

Sometimes we have to “let go and let God,” and that can include letting go of people who really don’t want help.

Stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and not to be entangled again with the yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1, KJV

Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. 2 Timothy 2:4, NLT

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner Be Still to Hear God’s Voice

You will have difficulty hearing God’s voice if you are busy with one activity after another, or you are addicted to your electronic devices. It is important to get quiet before the Lord, and tune-out all distractions. This means turning off your cell phone or putting it away, turning off the TV an iPad and other electronics.

There are many things that compete for our time and attention, and numerous distractions pop-up unexpectedly. Learning to carve out regular time alone with God to hear His still, small voice is important in maintaining your peace, gaining wisdom and direction from the Lord for your daily life. For most people, having time with God first thing in the morning will help you throughout your day. If you have been feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or fearful, ask yourself, “Have I pulled away to be alone with The Father?” Things will come up in your life to compete for your time and attention even that will seem like a “good thing.” However, not everything that is asked of us or that comes our way is a good thing for us that is why we have to have time with the Lord so we can hear His direction.

A lot of people end-up living frazzled lives because they just do whatever comes in their path.

There will never be anything more important than daily time being still before the Lord.

I know this is a foreign concept in our western culture to be still, but too many people are not taking this valuable time and are enduring high levels of stress. We must learn to step away daily to connect with the Father. He has guidance and direction that He wants to bestow upon us, but we must receive that impartation daily, and not try and “store it up.” Our daily “manna” is given to us daily, not weekly or monthly. We must not put anything else before our relationship with God, and a relationship can only happen when you spend time together. God must first be on our schedules of priorities.

When we are still before God He will speak to us through His Word, through nature, through our spirit, through writing and journaling, and through worship. He can also speak to us through a combination of these things. Check your schedule and see what you can cut back, such as Face book, Pinterest, TV, iPad, and carve out time for God. Put God first in your life. It is okay to say, “No” to the demands of others, to shut your cell phone off temporary, not answer your emails and face book.

It is okay not to follow the crowd, and instead follow Jesus and sit at His feet.

In God’s presence you will find peace and rest. 

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner How to Walk in Peace among the Enemies Distractions

I like peace, I like quiet and I like order. What happens when distractions bombarded you to steal your peace? Do you react in anger or annoyance or do you remain in peace? If we are honest, a majority of the time we react in anger or frustration to a disruption in our plans or when the enemy plays havoc with our peace. Distractions can come from people, situations, or circumstances.

Do you know what steals your peace? I do! I have found when I react to the peace stealers, it makes matters worse. I am a Christian who loves Jesus and truly desires to follow Him, but there are times that if you cross my path the wrong way, you wish you had not! The enemy knows our blue prints, he has studied us to see how we react when he brings in distractions and annoyances. If you blow up when the vacuum cleaner breaks or you get “ghetto” on your neighbors who know how to work your last nerve, then the enemy takes note and brings something similar again and again to us knowing we will take the bait.

We must die to the flesh when the distractions come barreling against us. My first reaction to a distraction or an annoyance is to get frustrated, and eventually I lose my peace. We all feel we have rights and when those rights are violated, we can get disturbed.

 A definition of distraction is an unhealthy attraction that breaks your focus and hinders you. Why do you think the enemy is trying to distract you?

How to walk in peace among the enemies distractions:

1.      If you are dealing with people who are being used by the enemy to cause trouble, meditate on this promise: When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Proverbs 1:7. God does not promise freedom from enemies, but He promises that when we do have them He will make our enemies be at peace with us.

2.      Have the posture of rest and faith until God makes your enemies your footstool. The Lord said to my Lord, “Sit at My right hand, till I make your enemies your footstool.” The Lord shall send the rod of your strength out of Zion. Rule in the midst of your enemies! Psalm 110:1-2. Be at rest not focused on the problems. Our job is to believe before we receive the help from God that He will take care of our enemies-we must rest in the promises that God will take care of all that concerns us. When we rest, He works! When we strive and react, God slows down a bit waiting for us to trust and rest. God did not say, “Wait until all of your enemies have been destroyed and every problem in your life has been resolved, then you can rest.” God wants us to rest first and then He will make your enemies a footstool.

3.      Psalm 23:5 says that God prepares a table for you in the presence of your enemies, not the absence. You eat in the presence of your enemies, and God will take care of your enemies. Our job is not to react to our enemies and become like them, but to remain in peace that we sit at the table prepared for us by Jesus in the presence of our enemies! Don’t war with your enemies, simply remain in peace and allow Jesus to take over.

4.      Don’t take revenge or escalate the problems concerning those who have offended or angered you. Seek peace. Seeking peace over revenge may hurt your flesh, but the enemy will lose ground when you obey Jesus. Learn to forgive offenders, and those who repeatedly do things to upset you. Some people are like sandpaper to us, they just rub and rub us raw. Take the higher ground, and let no one steal your peace or control you.

5.      When the distractions are not coming from a person but through circumstances such as when several appliances stop working in the same day or week. Yes, there are times that appliances stop working and vehicles need repair but the enemy can also cause some of these problems. Ask the Holy Spirit if what you are experiencing is just normal break-downs or if you need to take authority over the enemy and your possessions. Either way, keep your FOCUS on the Lord and ask for His swift intervention. Then rest, knowing He will take care of what has been broken. If you lose focus over the situation, it is a demonic distraction. Demonic distractions will also cause you to lose time because you become focused on fixing the distraction.

Distractions are one of the easiest and greatest tricks of the enemy. Until you pinpoint what is distracting you, the enemy will use that same scheme over and over again.

No matter what distractions come your way, when you remain in peace and in rest, anything the enemy would try and throw your way will be stopped.

Daily Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner by Stephanie R. Reck, LMSW, LBT, BCCC: Distractions that Come to Cause You to Lose Focus and Peace

Distractions or minor annoyances happen to all of us such as when old cars need repairing or when leaky faucets need to be tightened. However there are some distractions that are sent by the enemy’s camp to cause us to lose peace and focus.

There is a difference between normal everyday distractions like browsing through Facebook instead of typing up your homework, and demonic distractions that occur more frequently such as over a period of days or back-to-back occurrences. Yes, we all have one of “those days” where if it “rains it pours.” I’m not talking about those types of days. Let me give you an example of demonic distractions. For the most part, I sleep well and soundly, but Sunday night as I was trying to fall asleep I became restless, agitated and sensed there was something “not of God” around my room. I immediately got up and prayed and rebuked whatever that was. I woke up Monday, a little tired since I had been up for some time the night before. I begin my day Monday sluggishly and prepare to type an article I had been working on for the day, when for no apparent reason my electricity goes out for two hours. Along with no electricity (which means no typing/internet access), two of my smoke detectors go off at the same time. I removed the batteries from the smoke detectors but they continued to buzz very loudly. I placed the smoke alarms outside and I could still hear them! Finally, after the loud buzzing stopped and my electricity came back on I tried to copy and paste my article as I normally would and could not. I tried to email my article as an attachment and could not do this either! Needless to say by now, I was frustrated and completely lost my focus. On Tuesday, a severe storm came through my town bringing high winds, heavy rain, lightening and tornado warnings. Mysterious things were hitting my house loudly as the storm pounded my street. This heavy storm that literally lasted all day made me lose my focus as once again I am trying to type my article for the day. On Wednesday, I woke up to heavy fog. Now fog is usually not a distraction unless you are driving in it or taking a morning run like I did on Wednesday Morning. I run across a bridge, and I could not see in front of me or behind me. When I got home from running, shortly later I am settling into writing for the day, when I hear my doorbell ring. I look out my window and a group of Jehovah Witnesses’ are at my door. The leave me a typed note and pamphlet at my front door. As many times as Jehovah Witnesses’ have come to my door, they have never left me a personal note! This typed note was addressed to me by name and it said, “They have been trying to reach me for a while and would like to talk to me about my relationship with Jehovah and where I would spend eternity.” This note disturbed me, I felt myself losing my peace as I was trying to defend my already relationship with Jesus Christ in my head and my confidence that I do know where I will spend eternity. I contemplated for a while writing this person back as she left her name and address on the envelope. I had much to say about my relationship with Jesus, but then I realized this little incident just took time from me that I needed to be working. Shortly after this incident, I received a phone call from a family member who informed me of something disturbing about another family member of mine. The phone call came at lunchtime, so I thought I could take the call, but after receiving this call for about an hour later I felt sick to my stomach, dizzy, and confused.

If you have made a decision to grow spiritually, mature in your walk with the Lord, pursue a ministry opportunity, move forward despite difficulties, or kicked a sin to the curb the enemy often sends distractions if he can’t destroy you.

Are we glorifying the enemy? ABSOUTLEY NOT! This is to expose and uncover hidden and covert operations in the enemy’s camp. As we resist the enemy and call upon Jesus to protect us, the enemy has to flee.

Reflect and Ponder: If you ever felt there was more behind your distractions? Ask the Holy Spirit to uncover and expose what may be going on. The enemy could be plotting to take your focus from the things that God wants you to do.

Counselor’s Corner: Satan is the master of distractions. He will try and distract us from our purpose, using people as his #1 tool.

Solomon did build a house for the Lord, but he also built places of idol worship for each of his foreign wives. The enemy used Solomon’s foreign wives to distract him from whole-heartedly serving God (1 Kings 5:5).

If the enemy can’t destroy you he will distract you. If he can’t convince you to give up, he will divert your attention. Distraction is a challenging weapon of the enemy because we often do not realize he is using it against us.

Top (3) things the enemy uses to distract us with:

1.      Problems. Yes, life is filled with problems but when problems come to you and there is no solution in sight, just confusion and chaos-there is an underlying sinister work happening, one to derail you of peace, joy and focus.

2.      People. Yes, as Christians we should love others but there are times that the enemy will send people in your path to distract you. Keep in mind the enemy can come as an “angel of light” and we will need to use our discernment in these situations.

3.      Purpose. We each have a unique purpose, and there are times that “good” opportunities come our way but it can distract us from the “great” opportunities God has for us.

►In ministry, many Christian lives appear like a heaping plate of super involvement in various church activities coupled with complaining about their busyness and stress. Rather than devoting 100% to a particular ministry, these Christians spend 10% in several different ministry departments-these folks are split or distracted.

Always love others by praying for them, blessing them with your words, and forgiving but you may need to detach and distance yourself from others who are a distraction.

Distractions are often spiritual warfare, subtle, with most people not recognizing this underlying battle. Don’t let problems prevent you from moving forward. Stop.Pray.Worship.Refocus. Take the authority that Jesus Christ gives to believers and command the spirit of distraction to go in Jesus name.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Lest satan should get an advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:11

Submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

Where Has Your Focus Been Lately?

When we are taking pictures and are adjusting the camera lense, at first what is seen in the camera lense may be blurry until we can adjust the lense to come into focus. Just like the camera lense, we too can lose our focus and everything around us becomes blurry.

A definition of focus is the center of interest or activity. What has been your focus lately? Has it been Jesus or everything else? The plan of the enemy is to keep us distracted so we lose our focus on Christ.

Ways we lose our focus:

1.      Take our eyes off Jesus and onto our problems and circumstances.

2.      Agreeing with what the enemy shows or tells us.

3.      Getting overwhelmed by someone else’s problems or issues.

4.      Trying to follow the crowd and what everyone else is doing.

5.      Carrying burdens that are way too heavy for us to carry.

6.      Comparing ourselves to others.

7.      Pleasing man instead of God.

8.      Being too busy-with work, with church, or other activities.

A little acronym to help you remember to FOCUS:

Filter out all distractions.

Obtain victory through taking every thought captive.

Connect to God daily.

Utilize your time better; instead of worrying-pray.

Surrender all your fears, anxieties, and worries to Jesus.

When we lose our focus, we lose our perspective.

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…Hebrews 12:2

The Christian life involves hard work; it requires us to give up whatever endangers our relationship with God. To live effectively as Christians, we must keep our eyes on Jesus. We will stumble if we look away from Him and stare at our circumstances. It takes discipline to focus on Jesus and not the turmoil around us. Focusing on our troubles will only divert you away from Jesus.

As Jesus becomes the center of our lives, worry, fear and depression will dissipate and will be replaced with joy, peace, and confidence.