Counselor's Corner: Be Intentional About Focusing on What is Good, Lovely and Praiseworthy

Perhaps you’re not like me and don’t have any trouble with negative thoughts, I however, struggle more often than I would like to with “stinkin’ thinkin.” Many times, I wake-up to a battle going on in mind, a battle of me thinking thoughts of defeat and discouragement. We all know the battlefield is in our minds, and that satan can make suggestions to us that seem ever-so real. We take the bait, and before long we are agreeing with the lies of our adversary. I have to get up intentionally focused on setting my first hour I awaken with the Lord, if I don’t, I am prone to having thoughts of anxiety, fear, and discouragement. There are those times that no matter how intentional I am my thoughts are dark and I can’t seem to turn those thoughts around. At those times I must step back and evaluate are there any “roots” to my thinking, and have I been spending time in God’s presence.

Negative thoughts can consume our daily lives, and eventually cause harm to us physically, mentally and spiritually. We must learn to train our minds by disciplining our thoughts.

Many of our issues can be stemmed from our thoughts. Thoughts precede behavior. If you feel depressed, check your line of thinking first. Of course, not all depression is caused by your thinking, but even if there is an imbalance in the brain you will still need to control your thoughts in addition to counseling and/or medication.

Push past how you feel and be intentional about focusing on what is good, what is lovely and what is praiseworthy. You very likely won’t feel like thinking good thoughts all the time, but do it anyways and you eventually will feel like it.

Negative thinking often stems from hurt, pain, disappointments, unfulfilled dreams, anger, and hope deferred. Get to the issues of what is causing your negative thinking. Write it out, talk it out and pray about what is causing you to see life through a damaged filter. Daily practice gratitude by writing or saying aloud at least (5) things that you are thankful for. Gratitude will decrease negative thinking.

When a thought comes that is negative, ask yourself is this lovely, praiseworthy or good? If not, replace that thought with what God would say. You’re not denying difficulties in life, but choosing not to focus solely on the wrong. An example would be, “It’s raining again, my outdoor plans are ruined but my flowers and grass are being watered.”

►For additional information on how you can discipline your mind, check out my latest book release, “Disciplining your mind, 30 days to a better you.”

Counselor's Corner: What Are You Focusing On?

What you focus on the most will grow.

The enemy will try to get you to focus on what is wrong, what is not working, and what is worrisome to you. When you lose your focus on what is true, what is right, what is lovely and what is a good report (Philippians 4:6), you will begin to focus on the opposite of these.

CHOOSING to focus on the good will be a daily decision. When the enemy shows you something that is causing fear, worry or frustration, turn away and CHOOSE to focus on the good.

→If your focus has been more on the negative lately check to see who you have been hanging out with, what you have been reading or watching on TV, and giving your attention to the most.

→An unthankful heart can cause you to focus on your wants, but a heart of gratitude will cause you to focus on your blessings.

Distractions come to sidetrack you and get you to focus on what the enemy has brought in front of you. Keeping your focus on Jesus means deliberately fading out everything that pulls you away from the goodness of God. Is this difficult to do? Yes, but with practice you can get so intentional about CHOOSING to turn your eyes and ears from anything that is contrary to the Kingdom of God that eventually this will become automatic to you. Focusing on seeing everything through the lens of Jesus takes discipline.

Discipline your mind to stop focusing on your needs, other’s needs, and take those concerns to the cross of Jesus Christ leaving them there. Go about your day not focusing on what your problems are but how good God is and how He has heard your prayers concerning your situation.

Make the greatest investment in your life by spending time in the presence of God instead of focusing on your problems.

The enemy will use people to come into your life to cause you to lose focus. Your focus can shift from faith to doubt when you deal with those who oppose the things of God. Don’t get so caught up with being overly concerned with people or what they think of you that you lose your focus on God’s goodness.

Reflect: Where has your focus or your attention been lately? Want joy? Want peace? Where is your focus? What is consuming your mind the most?

Temptation Will Come

As I have counseled with numerous Christians I have come to realize temptation will come. I have seen temptation come in various forms such as addiction, pornography, homosexuality, and marital affairs. The enemy knows where you are the weakest and he will target those areas. If you have any areas in your life that has not be healed or exposed to the light of Jesus, satan can and often does attack in these “hidden” areas.

Here is my go to place, the beach when I feel tempted
 and need to get alone with God. Where is your go to place
when you need to flee, run from temptation?

No matter how strong of a Christian you think you are, temptation will eventually come, and you must know your weaknesses and stand your ground. You might say,” I don’t have to worry about this because I attend church weekly, serve at church, and I have a close walk with the Lord.” That is wonderful and that means you will recognize when temptation comes and what to do when it comes. I have seen and known countless “strong” Christians fall into temptation that lead into deep sin. No Christian is immune from the temptations of satan and his cohorts. We must know what to do when temptation comes and be guarded always. This is nothing new, satan tempted Eve first in the garden and she fell for it! Temptation never comes in its purest, evilest form; instead it comes packaged with a beautiful red bow on top, ready for you to open. The only problem with this beautiful gift is that it is deceiving, once you unwrap (or fall into sin), the box or sin is empty. There is nothing in the box, satan deceived you. The enemy set you up to take the beautiful gift and once you open the box it is hard to return the gift to the sender. However, you can always send the empty box (sin) back by repenting and turning away from that sin.

Not all temptation will led to sin, however, a lot of times if you keep “looking at the beautiful box with its shiny red bow” you will eventually open the box. Turn immediately from temptation. It is not a sin to be tempted, all will be tempted, but temptation is where satan tries to get his hook into you. If satan can get you to look and gaze long enough, he will set you up and hook you into his trap and web of deceit. Now, let’s take the analogy of a fisherman who “hooks” bait on his lure to “catch fish.” Satan “hooks, lures” (tempting things/people) into your life so that you will take the “bait.” We know that when a fish is caught on a hook that hook is lodged into the fish’s throat, it is very difficult for the fish to escape now. When the fish was in the water the fish saw this “shiny, beautiful lure” and the fish was deceived into thinking it was food and the fish took the first bite and was hooked. That is what satan does to us, if he can present that “shiny, lure” (temptation), he hopes we will take the “first bite,” because when we do that we become “hooked.” How many people I have spoken with tell me, “I am hooked on pornography and I can’t stop, I just looked once.” Or I have heard, “I can’t stop this adulterous relationship, I am hooked to this person. It did not start out this way, it was innocent at first, just office flirtation, but now I can’t let them go.” Once you enter into satan’s dark world of sin, you become trapped and ensnared. Think about those words, reflect for a moment, does it appear it would be easy to disengage satan’s throws of sin once he gets you “hooked?”

Don’t think for a moment that once the “hook” goes in, satan will just release you. Let’s go back to the analogy of a fisherman who just caught a fish. The fish is hooked and when the fisherman reels the fish in, the fish fights, but the fish is hooked and is not going anywhere. If you have ever fished, you know once a fish is reeled in the fish only can be released when the fisherman unhooks the fish from the lure. If you want to be released from the “hook” first know satan will put up a fight, there may be a battle to release you and you may want to give up because the battle is difficult, but if you allow Jesus to “unhook” the sin, He can truly release you from the grips of this sin.

There are some key steps to take to OVERCOME temptation and stay away from sin:

1.     FLEE. Flee, run, and get away from all situations that are tempting.

2.     Choose to change your thinking.  When thoughts come (and they will), replace that thought IMMEDIATELY with a faith-filled, positive thought and/or Scripture. DO NOT DWELL, PONDER on the tempting thought. The battlefield starts in your mind first! An example would be when a tempting thought comes replace immediately ( using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) with something like, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

3.    Stay away from ALL tempting places and people. Examples: bar, casino, nightclub, seducing people, people you are attracted to, and any others that are tempting to you.

4.   Be careful to guard your mind from T.V., movies, books, computer, phone (if your phone has internet), and all electronic devices. Replace these if they are a problem, place filters on electronic devices if you have to keep them, and NEVER use these devices ALONE if they are an issue for you. If you are alone in your bedroom and this is a problem for you, shut off ALL electronic devices including phone. Use these devices only when around others. I know this is difficult since we are the “age of technology.” But there is no other way. DO you TRULY want to be free?

5.     Tell someone you trust, a pastor, Christian counselor, or friend. Confess your sins to one another so that you will be healed. James 5:16.

6.     Confess, Repent. Cleanse yourself of all known sins so that you can be healed and receive the forgiveness that is yours in Christ. No condemnation, just God’s forgiveness of sins. That’s why He died for us!

7.    Get an accountability partner if the sin is uncontrollable.

8.   Read the Bible daily, pray daily and as often as needed, and worship Jesus through thanksgiving, praise, and music. This step cannot be underestimated! You cannot get rid of the temptation or sin without replacing God’s truth. The lies of the enemy have to be exposed to the truth of God’s word! You cannot skip this step!

Here are some Scriptures to reflect and meditate on. They are truth and are not from the author but from the Word of God. Do not take what I say or anyone else but what the Word of God says.

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. In Him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, having been buried with Him in baptism and raised with Him through your faith in power of God, who raised Him from the dead. When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgive all your sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.    Colossians 2:9-15, NIV.

Praise Jesus! We are not prisoners of sin any longer, He nailed our sins to the cross, know the truth, the enemy cannot hold you captive if you are a born-again Christian! You can tell the enemy he has to flee from you in Jesus name!

Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. But you know that He appeared so that He might take away our sins. And in Him is no sin. No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him.   1 John 4:4-6, NIV.

Once again, we see that if and when we sin we have Jesus, our High Priest to take away our sins. We do not need to live bound in sin any longer.

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused live in us envies intensely? But He gives us more grace. That is why the Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.    James: 4-10, NIV.

Submit to God, Flee from the devil and repent with sorrow and God will cleanse you and lift you up.

Read carefully and meditate on this Scripture from Galatians 5:16-26

Additional resources from author can be located @ these websites:

Online Christian Counseling:www.gospelguidance.com/advisors/5311-sreck

Latest book publication, Wilderness Mentality, Stop your Stinkin’ 

Thinkin’:www.createspace.com/4036785

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/Djeuz

Don't Complain About Your Circumstances

Don’t Complain About Your Circumstances

In my new book, Wilderness Mentality, I discuss why complaining and lack of thankfulness will keep you in the wilderness mentality. A wilderness mentality is dry, barren, and not producing any “good fruit.” We will stay in the wilderness as long as we complain. If we complain we will remain.

Reasons we complain and lack thankfulness:

1.      We think we deserve better, more.

2.      We compare our lives to others.

3.      We believe life is not fair and should meet all of our needs.

4.      Unmet expectations and needs.

5.      Difficult trials and circumstances that we are not walking in faith about.

When we complain the enemy takes notice and hears us. It is music to the enemy’s ears when we complain, but when we offer praise and thanksgiving to God that is music to God’s ears. You may not understand all of your trials, but God wants us to trust Him with each one.

For God works ALL things out for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. Romans 8:28

You might say, “I don’t have anything to thank God for.” Really? Stop right now and list 5 things that you have to be thankful for. Everyday write down 5 things to be thankful for until you are conditioned to count your blessings and be thankful.

…Nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer.

1 Corinthians 10:10.  Read 1 Corinthians 10:1-11.

Complaining is negative and it will drain your physical and mental energy. Discipline your mind not to react to your circumstances. Remember complain and remain or praise and be raised!

Now when the people complained, it displeased the Lord; for the Lord heard it, and His anger was aroused.  Numbers 11:1

The Israelites in this passage complained and then Moses complained. But God responded positively to Moses and negatively to the rest of the people, because the people complained to one another, and nothing was accomplished. Moses, however, took his complaints to God directly who could solve his problems. Many of us are good at complaining to one another, but we need to learn to take our problems to the One who can do something about it.

Who do you complain to, friends, family, strangers, your spouse? Or do you complain to the One who can raise you?

The Israelites were dissatisfied with God’s provision for them. Dissatisfaction comes when our attention shifts from what we have to what we don’t have. The people of Israel did not seem to notice what God was doing for them. Do you notice what God is doing for you, or are you dissatisfied and a complainer?

Make a change today!

To contact author: www.christianhopecounseling.com

To purchase, Wilderness Mentality, go to www.amazon.com

or find it on author’s website.

Copyright©2013, HopeCounselingMinistry. All rights reserved.

Discipline Your Mind

Discipline your mind; otherwise it will be out of control. You cannot just think whatever falls into your mind. You must take every thought captive into the obedience of Christ. What are your thoughts generally like? Do you just allow whatever comes to your mind and start believing it and then eventually feeling it?

Every minute we have about 38 thoughts. That means we have a different thought every 1.2 seconds. The average person has about 50,000 thoughts per day. What we choose to accept as truth in our thoughts, we will eventually begin to feel that way.  Our thoughts are powerful and they can encourage us or destroy us. The battlefield is in the mind, and that is where satan plants his seeds. As these “seeds” are planted into your mind, do you water the seeds and let them take root?

You cannot help how you feel, but you can choose what you think and in turn what you choose to think about will affect how you feel. Your thoughts produce feelings. What are you agreeing with when the enemy plants a seed in your mind? It could be a seed of doubt or a seed of fear. Do you agree with what enters in your mind, because you believe it must be true if It is in your mind? Your feelings are deceptive and cannot be trusted.

We must discipline our minds not only to take every thought captive but also to replace the negative mind-set with positive, faith-filled thoughts. If you have a negative mind-set and you take every thought captive, you might be taking a lot of thoughts captive in the beginning. If we on estimate have 38 thoughts per minute and most of them are negative we will be up for a challenge. However, in time you can break this habit if you keep at it and totally rely on God’s help.

God cares about what we are thinking about because what we think about eventually becomes what we do. Our rotten thinking will eventually become our rotten attitudes. We will become what we think. Our thoughts are tied to our behavior. Most of us just think about whatever comes into our minds. Is your mind like a wilderness? All over the place and barren, not producing anything of value.

We are to have the mind of Christ, and any thoughts contrary to the Word of God we must get rid of immediately.

Contact author @ www.christianhopecounseling.com

Copyright@2013, HopeCounselingMinistry. All Rights Reserved.

Get Out of the Wilderness

Dictionary.com defines wilderness as: A wild and uncultivated region, as of forest or desert, uninhabited or inhabited by wild animals; a tract of wasteland.

So are you in the wilderness? Is your mind in the wilderness, and not under control of the Holy Spirit? Where have you been living, in the “wilderness” or in the “Promised Land?”

Now is the time to let go of former things and your wilderness living. You have dwelt in the wilderness long enough. In the wilderness you held onto the past. You had no peace, no joy, and no hope. You were burdened in the wilderness. You were not free, but held in captivity. You were in bondage. In the wilderness, you cared about what people thought about you. You pleased man rather than God. You looked at your circumstances and complained. You threw yourself a little pity party, and became a victim rather than a victor. You allowed negative emotions to rule over you. You wandered aimlessly in the wilderness but could not find a way out.

Are you sick and tired of your life yet, your wilderness? Have you tried everything and it is just not working? If so, you may be in the wilderness. Just as the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 long years, so can we remain in a type of wilderness? God does not want you to stay in the wilderness, but you may not know how to get out of the wilderness. You may have been in the wilderness for so long that you do not know how to get out of the wilderness. The good news is if you are tired of your ways enough, change is possible.

You know you are in the wilderness if your life is full of negativity, burdens too heavy to carry, a lack of joy and peace, confusion (lack of direction), oppression, and fear (anxiety). If you are in the wilderness you are not living the abundant life that God says that you can have.

Would you dare to believe there can be change? Would you like to be in the Promised Land instead of living in the wilderness? In the Promised Land your eyes are on Jesus not your circumstances or the “giants” in your life. You have God’s eyes and His ears. You are now His vessel that His spirit can flow through. Your life is marked with peace and joy despite your circumstances. You have a hope that is unshakeable.

Here are some practical steps to get you out of the wilderness and into the Promised Land living:

1.      Believe God is bigger than your problems.

2.      Speak faith-filled words. Watch what you are speaking over yourself and others. Your words are powerful. They can produce life or death. Choose your words carefully.

3.      Don’t speak what you see but what God can do. Speak to that “mountain” in your life. Don’t let that “mountain” speak to you, or it will!

4.      Enjoy right where you are at. Be content with the season you are in. Knowing all seasons does eventually end. Don’t “curse” your next season with your words.

5.      Do not complain find-fault or judge yourself or others.

6.      Do not look at your problems/circumstances and speak negatively or defeat over them. The enemy WILL present things and situations to stir you up and get you to speak out what you see.

7.      Carry hope continually. Never, ever let hope disappear. Even if you have failed, made mistakes, and have been defeated. NEVER stop hoping. We will soon end up discouraged and eventually defeated if we stop hoping. Always hope for better!

8.      Pray before reacting to what the enemy shows you or tells you. DO NOT react, the enemy sees and will use your reaction against you.

9.      Maintain peace with yourself and others. Walk in peace, talk peace, be peace. Refrain from arguments, contentions, strife, anger, and division. Live in peace.

10.  Be easy on yourself. Be gentle and loving with yourself. Stop belittling and beating yourself up. God does not do this to you, so why should you do this to yourself.

11.  Keep all sin out of your life. Continually purge and confess sin. Be cleansed by the blood of Jesus not condemnation.

12.  CHOOSE to walk in faith and not fear. Yes, I say choose because fear will try and come against you but CHOOSE to rise in faith.

Do not remember the former things,

Nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing,

Now it shall spring forth;

Shall you not know it?

I will even make a road in the wilderness

And rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:18-19, NKJV

Side note from author: I believe so much in helping people understand being free from wilderness living that I wrote an entire book called, Wilderness Mentality. You can find this book on amazon.com.

Copyright@2013, HopeCounselingMinistry. All Rights Reserved.