Longings Unfilled, A Perspective on What it is Like in the Waiting Period

In this article, the author will share her experiences and her heart on longings being unfilled.  The author will share her perspective on waiting for desires of the heart to be fulfilled. My prayer for this article is that others do not feel alone, and other’s will post and share their story, their lessons, and any advice and hope in the wait. Please post any comments at the bottom of this article, and share with others who need to hear this message.

Longings and desires unfulfilled can become possibilities with God.

What have you been waiting for God to fulfill in your life?

My Story

Pain comes in many forms and suffering comes to us all. I am no stranger to pain and suffering. Sometimes it can feel like you are all alone, and like no one really understands what you are going through. Sometimes, the pain comes in waves, other times it lays dormant, just waiting for a time to slip out and cause me emotional turmoil. There are times that I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride, my feelings and emotions ebb and flow with certain times and seasons.

I have deep longings that I cannot contain sometimes. There are times these deep-seated emotions get triggered and these emotions fall upon me like an avalanche. I have done everything I know possible to wait with a “thankful heart,” but sometimes, I fail miserably, and I sink it a pit of sorrow and despair. I want so desperately to have what I think would bring me joy and excitement. There are some things that I cannot seem to get a hold of at times, and these longings get the better of me. I am desperate to not feel this way, but there are times the enemy sends me little reminders of what I don’t have and before you know it, if I am already tired, sick, or hormonal, then I fall for the lie and the trap of the enemy. I long to keep my emotions and feelings in check and not have them spill out and cause me anguish. I long to be free from the waiting period, and just move on already.

For some of us, the longing in our hearts is for a spouse, for some it is for a child, and for others it is a supportive family. I have several deep, unresolved, longings in my heart. Sometimes, I think, “I have healed from those longings, but then a reminder, and I start the longing all over again.” I did find my companion, my best friend, but I had a child from a previous relationship in my teenage years. I carried a lot of shame for having a child so young. My only child is living a different lifestyle than me, he is my prodigal child. I have waited, prayed, and cried for his return for 9 years. My heart grows heavy sometimes for him, and I realize that I may not see the desire of my heart for grandchildren in this lifestyle. I do know, God has my child, and follows and pursues him, but sometimes, it feels a heavy weight, and I need a time-out to “slip away from the crowds and grieve to God.” I know he hears my cries for my child, but sometimes I wonder, “When will this end?”

I have always desired to have at least 4 children, but early on in our marriage we detected I was having trouble conceiving. I did see a fertility doctor, had surgery, took hormone shots, and waited in faith as my church family told me. Well, the wait is now 12 years. Twelve years to have a child. Some might say, “Well you already have a child.” My answer would be, “Yes, but I was so young and did not enjoy the pregnancy and I long to have a child with my Godly husband and raise the child in the ways of the Lord.” I am pro adoption and of course pro-life, so we tried to adopt through the foster care system, the unfortunate tragedy was that we kept the baby boy for a month, but I was not willing to allow the parents another 6 months to a year to fulfill their service agreement and possibly get their child back. All sorts of fears crept up in me, “I thought if there is a possibility that I may have to give this child up in 6 months or a year if these parents decide to get their acts together, and that may be way too difficult for me.” We decided that foster-adopt would not work for us, because of the heavy risks involved in losing a child, and since we were already undergoing such heartache trying to conceive that this would not be an option for us, but I believe it is a beautiful thing when the right family can take a child from the foster care system. I was so heart-broken after that incident that I was not even wanting to look at foreign or domestic adoption.

My other longing is for my family and my husband’s family to know Jesus, and to be healed of dysfunction, mental illness, and addictions. You see, both our families with the exception of a small few, have tremendous issues. I long for them to receive Christ and for the ones who are battling addiction, mental illness, or some sort of dysfunction to be healed. I have tried to reach them over the years, by sharing the Gospel in word and deed, bringing them to church, trying to help financially, and just listening to them, but several have chosen to go a different path. With all the family turmoil, I did not think it was fair at this point to bring a child into our family through adoption. I just thought, “It would not be fair to subject an innocent child to the family chaos.” I felt all my dreams came crashing down and I begin to shut down. Something closed up inside of me at that time, and I stopped hoping and the heartache became unbearable. I thought, “I can’t being a child into our home when I don’t even want to get out of bed.” Them the depression hits, debilitating, and horrific. I stopped living, caring, stopped desiring, and just stopped everything.

So what happens when you wait, wait, and wait some more, and then your hope gets deferred once again? You have two options, you can redefine your life and move past the waiting or you can stop and remain stuck. So here I am, I am turning 40 in 2 weeks, and I am still in the waiting. I have been in the waiting for 12 years, but I am tired of feeling stuck. I want to move past the waiting. I want to know that if these desires never get fulfilled that I can live and be joyful. I want to also have an incredible faith that says,” Nothing is impossible with God.” I want God to resurrect old dreams if he chooses and give me new desires and dreams.

The reality is desires of the heart that go unfilled for a time can be painful. We need to acknowledge that pain to God. We may need to at times step away from the crowds and be with Jesus, He is the only one who can shed light and bring you the comfort you need. There are times you may need to say,” No “to an activity or function that would be painful or a reminder if you are already feeling weak and vulnerable. Do not push yourself to do anything that God is not leading you to do. Take time for yourself, and be good to yourself. Do things that you enjoy. Repurpose your life. Take a day or however long it takes and slip away with the Lord, and ask Him to show you what He desires for you.

Ask God these questions?

1.       What are your desires for me?

2.       How do I heal my heart and my desires?

3.       How do I repurpose my life?

4.       How do I get unstuck and move past the waiting?

5.       Do you have new dreams for me or do old dreams need to be resurrected again?

Lord Jesus,

We pursue you today and ask that you open our hearts to your will and desires for us. Show us what you desire for us, and how to let go of our fleshy desires. God help us to have an unbelievable faith and help us to build new dreams and show us what old dreams should come back to life. God show us what you have for us, and help us not want anything that is not from you or in your will for us.

In Jesus name, amen

You can reach the author by:

Email @ Stephanie@christianhopecounseling.com

Face book: www.facebook.com/HopeandEncouragement4Women

Blog: www.onlinechristiancounselingforwomen.blogspot.com

Temptation Will Come

As I have counseled with numerous Christians I have come to realize temptation will come. I have seen temptation come in various forms such as addiction, pornography, homosexuality, and marital affairs. The enemy knows where you are the weakest and he will target those areas. If you have any areas in your life that has not be healed or exposed to the light of Jesus, satan can and often does attack in these “hidden” areas.

Here is my go to place, the beach when I feel tempted
 and need to get alone with God. Where is your go to place
when you need to flee, run from temptation?

No matter how strong of a Christian you think you are, temptation will eventually come, and you must know your weaknesses and stand your ground. You might say,” I don’t have to worry about this because I attend church weekly, serve at church, and I have a close walk with the Lord.” That is wonderful and that means you will recognize when temptation comes and what to do when it comes. I have seen and known countless “strong” Christians fall into temptation that lead into deep sin. No Christian is immune from the temptations of satan and his cohorts. We must know what to do when temptation comes and be guarded always. This is nothing new, satan tempted Eve first in the garden and she fell for it! Temptation never comes in its purest, evilest form; instead it comes packaged with a beautiful red bow on top, ready for you to open. The only problem with this beautiful gift is that it is deceiving, once you unwrap (or fall into sin), the box or sin is empty. There is nothing in the box, satan deceived you. The enemy set you up to take the beautiful gift and once you open the box it is hard to return the gift to the sender. However, you can always send the empty box (sin) back by repenting and turning away from that sin.

Not all temptation will led to sin, however, a lot of times if you keep “looking at the beautiful box with its shiny red bow” you will eventually open the box. Turn immediately from temptation. It is not a sin to be tempted, all will be tempted, but temptation is where satan tries to get his hook into you. If satan can get you to look and gaze long enough, he will set you up and hook you into his trap and web of deceit. Now, let’s take the analogy of a fisherman who “hooks” bait on his lure to “catch fish.” Satan “hooks, lures” (tempting things/people) into your life so that you will take the “bait.” We know that when a fish is caught on a hook that hook is lodged into the fish’s throat, it is very difficult for the fish to escape now. When the fish was in the water the fish saw this “shiny, beautiful lure” and the fish was deceived into thinking it was food and the fish took the first bite and was hooked. That is what satan does to us, if he can present that “shiny, lure” (temptation), he hopes we will take the “first bite,” because when we do that we become “hooked.” How many people I have spoken with tell me, “I am hooked on pornography and I can’t stop, I just looked once.” Or I have heard, “I can’t stop this adulterous relationship, I am hooked to this person. It did not start out this way, it was innocent at first, just office flirtation, but now I can’t let them go.” Once you enter into satan’s dark world of sin, you become trapped and ensnared. Think about those words, reflect for a moment, does it appear it would be easy to disengage satan’s throws of sin once he gets you “hooked?”

Don’t think for a moment that once the “hook” goes in, satan will just release you. Let’s go back to the analogy of a fisherman who just caught a fish. The fish is hooked and when the fisherman reels the fish in, the fish fights, but the fish is hooked and is not going anywhere. If you have ever fished, you know once a fish is reeled in the fish only can be released when the fisherman unhooks the fish from the lure. If you want to be released from the “hook” first know satan will put up a fight, there may be a battle to release you and you may want to give up because the battle is difficult, but if you allow Jesus to “unhook” the sin, He can truly release you from the grips of this sin.

There are some key steps to take to OVERCOME temptation and stay away from sin:

1.     FLEE. Flee, run, and get away from all situations that are tempting.

2.     Choose to change your thinking.  When thoughts come (and they will), replace that thought IMMEDIATELY with a faith-filled, positive thought and/or Scripture. DO NOT DWELL, PONDER on the tempting thought. The battlefield starts in your mind first! An example would be when a tempting thought comes replace immediately ( using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) with something like, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

3.    Stay away from ALL tempting places and people. Examples: bar, casino, nightclub, seducing people, people you are attracted to, and any others that are tempting to you.

4.   Be careful to guard your mind from T.V., movies, books, computer, phone (if your phone has internet), and all electronic devices. Replace these if they are a problem, place filters on electronic devices if you have to keep them, and NEVER use these devices ALONE if they are an issue for you. If you are alone in your bedroom and this is a problem for you, shut off ALL electronic devices including phone. Use these devices only when around others. I know this is difficult since we are the “age of technology.” But there is no other way. DO you TRULY want to be free?

5.     Tell someone you trust, a pastor, Christian counselor, or friend. Confess your sins to one another so that you will be healed. James 5:16.

6.     Confess, Repent. Cleanse yourself of all known sins so that you can be healed and receive the forgiveness that is yours in Christ. No condemnation, just God’s forgiveness of sins. That’s why He died for us!

7.    Get an accountability partner if the sin is uncontrollable.

8.   Read the Bible daily, pray daily and as often as needed, and worship Jesus through thanksgiving, praise, and music. This step cannot be underestimated! You cannot get rid of the temptation or sin without replacing God’s truth. The lies of the enemy have to be exposed to the truth of God’s word! You cannot skip this step!

Here are some Scriptures to reflect and meditate on. They are truth and are not from the author but from the Word of God. Do not take what I say or anyone else but what the Word of God says.

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. In Him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, having been buried with Him in baptism and raised with Him through your faith in power of God, who raised Him from the dead. When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgive all your sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.    Colossians 2:9-15, NIV.

Praise Jesus! We are not prisoners of sin any longer, He nailed our sins to the cross, know the truth, the enemy cannot hold you captive if you are a born-again Christian! You can tell the enemy he has to flee from you in Jesus name!

Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. But you know that He appeared so that He might take away our sins. And in Him is no sin. No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him.   1 John 4:4-6, NIV.

Once again, we see that if and when we sin we have Jesus, our High Priest to take away our sins. We do not need to live bound in sin any longer.

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused live in us envies intensely? But He gives us more grace. That is why the Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.    James: 4-10, NIV.

Submit to God, Flee from the devil and repent with sorrow and God will cleanse you and lift you up.

Read carefully and meditate on this Scripture from Galatians 5:16-26

Additional resources from author can be located @ these websites:

Online Christian Counseling:www.gospelguidance.com/advisors/5311-sreck

Latest book publication, Wilderness Mentality, Stop your Stinkin’ 

Thinkin’:www.createspace.com/4036785

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/Djeuz

Don't Give Up! Hope for the Wounded and the Downcast

                 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Psalm 13:12

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Psalm 13:2

Have you ever asked God, “How much longer? I can’t possibly endure this any longer.”

May the Peace of the Messiah fill you today, breathe! 

What are you struggling with? What has you up at night, and causes you deep distress? If I could hear your answers I can only imagine what your responses may sound like, “I desperately am wanting a Godly marriage, I am waiting for my prodigal child to return home, I long for a child, I suffer in secret with depression, I have an addiction that controls me, my family is toxic and dysfunctional, I suffering from physical illness, I feel rejected and alone, and the list can go on and on. It can be multiple issues you are dealing with, not just one or two. Multiple issues can cause heart-sickness and grief, you can begin to feel hopeless and without cause. You may wonder if others experience the depth of your pain and suffering. You are honestly tired and want to give up. You have tried to “put the mask” on for everybody but you cannot pretend any longer that everything is okay. You may even feel misunderstood and you may have isolated yourself from others for fear of what they would think of you.

You have had enough and your looking to just get by or not by at all. Don’t give up now! Hold and wait once again for the Lord. I know that may sound cliché, especially if you have been hurting a long time with no relief, believe me I understand. I have felt pain and experienced depths of depression that was debilitating. I will encourage you to seek Godly counsel and support, find someone who you trust that will hear your story and show you compassion and encourage you to “get up” again. There are plenty of resources on the internet if you are unable to find someone in your area or even feel more comfortable in your home. Get back into the Word of God and take time to pray, and even cry. You must let out the pain through tears and even through writing (journaling). God knows your pain, but you have to release it. Keeping things “bottled-up” inside can cause depression, anxiety, anger, and a host of physical ailments.

Know who your real enemy is, it’s not God, but the thief who comes only to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). You are in a real battle and the enemy would love to destroy you and whatever purpose God has for you. Get up! Stop letting the enemy walk all over you. Rest, be healed and then fight! Fight for your life, fight for your God-given rights. You are not alone in your suffering, many Christians have endured and walked through severe trials. God does love you and He does have a plan for your life. A plan of hope, victory, peace, and joy over-flowing. You will make it, you will get out of this pit. Let go of your expectations for your life and others and surrender your hopes and dreams to the One who created you. He is not done with you, the story is not over.

Even David in the book of Psalms understood depression.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:5-6, 11; 43:5)

To contact author and to find additional resources: 

www.christianhopecounseling.com

Online Christian Counselors: www.gospelguidance.com/advisors/5311-sreck

You tube videos on HOPE & ENCOURAGEMNT: www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOEx8uKfKE

Hope & Encouragement BLOG: www.onlinechristiancounselingforwomen.blogspot.com

Latest publication, Wilderness Mentality, Stop your Stinkin’ Thinkin: www.createspace.com/4036785

Hope in the Waiting

HOPE AND WAIT FOR HIM

What have you been waiting for God to answer, or what promises are you waiting for Him to fulfill? Waiting is most difficult, and if we are not careful we can grow weary and despondent as we wait. Sometimes we may even lose hope, as hope deferred can make our hearts sick. What lies have you believed about God and His love for you because you are tired in the waiting?

Here are some practical steps that you can take as you wait:

1.      Enjoy your time as you wait. So many of us do not enjoy our lives as we are waiting for things in our lives to be fulfilled.

2.      Stop being all wrought up, anxious, and worried all the time. Have peace as you wait, peace that God does hear and know your prayers and desires.

3.      Stop fretting. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop your self-pity. It will only make matters worse. CHOOSE to be thankful for the things that are good in your life, and don’t CHOOSE to reflect on what you don’t have. Actively look, seek the good in your life.

4.      Revive your hope and stir up your dreams and desires again. Take time to ask and seek God for a new vision for your life, and to rekindle the promises that he has already given you.

5.      Seek God first above everything else you desire, you want, or you are waiting for. Simple, but so many of us just don’t put God first. Time in His presence will fill you up and bring answers to your thirsty soul.

6.      Stay away from desiring to have someone else’s life. You are unique and God has a unique plan for your life, so don’t compare your life to others or want what they have.

7.      Be content with the lot you have been given and the lot you are currently in. Contentment breeds peace and joy.

Here are some scriptures that have helped me personally get through the waiting times:

Wait for the Lord,

Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. 

Psalm 27:13-14, NIV

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

For His compassion never fails.

They are new every morning;

Great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion, therefore, I will wait for Him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.

Lamentations 3:22-25, NIV

Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love.

For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of God.

Lamentations 3:31-33, NIV

Here are some things to meditate on from the above scriptures and to replace any lies that you have been believing about God and His love for you as you are waiting:

1.      God encourages us to wait for Him.

2.      The Lord has great love for us and His compassion for us never fails.

3.      The Lord is faithful.

4.      The Lord is good to those who hope in Him, and to the ones who seek Him.

5.      Though God does bring grief, He shows us compassion and great is His unfailing love.

6.      God does not willing bring affliction or grief to His children.

To order a copy of author’s book, Wilderness Mentality, Stop Your Stinkin’ Thinkin’ go to www.createspace.com/4036785

Adjustments and Transitions

Adjustments and major transitions can be difficult, especially if you have problems with control. If something changes and you have an issue with control you can be easily side-swiped. It is important to take it one day at a time. You can’t say you will go here or do this tomorrow for certain because you do not know what will happen. We have to make adjustments and transitions and they will go a lot smoother if we realize that we have to hold our plans loosely and be ready for change.

A definition from Wikipedia.com for adjustment is regulating, adapting or settling in a variety of contexts. If you are not able to adjust easily to transitions and changes it will create disequilibrium and unbalance in your mind, body, and spirit. You will begin to feel stress in all of these areas. When an adjustment needs to be made, in the beginning you may feel some stress, but then you need to enter into the flow of the Spirit of God. That means seizing all control and outcomes of the situation and trusting that God has a plan and He will work it out for you good. It means stop trying to figure out why and instead remaining calm and peaceful. Sometimes adjustment periods can take a while to work out. For instance if you have a step family, or your teenage daughter is pregnant and needs help, or even divorce; the adjustment period may take longer. All are considered a crisis and all can pose a threat to our well-being. Under stress our bodies will either fight or flight, that means stay and fight or run away. Fight or flight is usually seen in stressful or threatening circumstances. There may be a time to run, but from what I know of God He does not want us to stay running He wants us to rest and get up and fight.

Taking it one day at a time is the only way to stay and fight in your situation. If you decide to stay and fight you cannot project tomorrows fears and concerns. God gives you grace for each day, not stored up grace. If you are living out on tomorrow’s grace, you will not survive the adjustment and transition period.

With any adjustment or major transition eventually you will adapt and begin to learn new coping skills. It is amazing how God created us to cope and adapt in the most stressful of situations. So no matter what you are adjusting to, know that it is not permanent. Get up today, stop wallowing and having pity parties and say, “This too shall pass.” Nothing in life is ever permanent. As the seasons change, so does our lives. There is a season for everything. Though it may be painful and dark today, tomorrow is new and full of possibilities.

Rest in your adjustments and transitions. Hasah, is Hebrew for trust. It means taking refuge in God. Batah, means to have confidence in.

Hasah Batah, Trust, take refuge and have confidence in God.

And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today, at the latest, tomorrow, we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. Instead, make it a habit to say, “If the Master wills and we’re still alive, we’ll do this or that.”

James 4:13-15, Message

To order a copy of the author’s book, Wilderness Mentality Stop Your Stinkin’ Thinkin’ go to the link: www.createspace.com/4036785

Confusion, is not God's way

Confusion, is not God’s way. Confusion is not of God.

For God is not a God of confusion but peace. I Corinthians 14:33, ESV.

What are you perplexed about? Is there something that keeps you up at night? Is there something you can’t seem to quiet your mind about? Rest assured, if you answered just one of the questions, yes, God is not involved. Have you been trying to figure out a problem and you just can’t seem to find the answers? Do you seem to get more confused if you try and figure out the problem?

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10, NKJV.

Is your mind at rest or is it in turmoil? The enemy loves to distract us from what God has for us so the enemy sends deceivers in our paths to disrupt the plan of God. You begin to lose focus and perspective and get of track. You know longer know God’s plan; you are confused and perplexed. You then become restless and agitated and lose your sense of purpose. Whatever came into your path seemed so innocent, but it got you off track and distracted. Your mind is like a war-zone; a battlefield. The enemy would love to entangle you and drag you back into the pit.

You may have a real desire to help, but if God has not given you a clear direction then you are trying to fix something or someone rather than waiting on God’s leading. You must never step out of God’s leading in a situation, no matter how great the need is. The enemy will use devastating circumstances to try and lure you into their entangled web. You might say, “But this is family, I have to help.” If you feel overwhelmed, unsure, confused, guilty, then the motivation is not coming from God but satan. Check the source before intervening in a situation.

The problem is not understanding we are in warfare and we do have a real enemy, and he does come disguised to take us off guard. Don’t follow the crowds because you most likely will be misled, but follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. If God remains quiet for a time, then it is not time to get impatient and decide to step out of God’s leading. In everything you do, it must be first brought before the throne of God.

God is a God of peace and order, God brings order and an easy flow. GOD DOES NOT BRING CHAOS AND CONFUSION. If God is in something you will know it, and you will not have to try and figure out what to do. If you have been interceding in a situation that God had not directed then you could be falling in a snare of the enemy. The enemy wants to set a trap to ensnare you with, and he will use the people closet in your life to do so. The enemy will entice you with their problems, needs, and threats. The enemy will show you their situations and magnify them. You will get the sense you have to act know and immediately because they are in danger. The enemy will use manipulative and controlling tactics to get you into his scheme. WHY DO WE BELIEVE God can’t step in and intervene in the most horrific of situations? The best help you can truly give someone is intercession prayer. Without satan and his cohorts being bound first in their lives, the enemies’ tricks and plans will try and infiltrate your life. There is a lack of understanding about spiritual warfare and so many Christians are getting themselves in situations that could put them in the line of fire for the enemy. We must never fear the enemy but we must know him and we must guard and be aware of his schemes to take us out. If you have been in a cycle of fixing and controlling people and situations then it is time to step back and let God have His way. God may not want you to intervene other than prayer. As Christians we believe every need and hurt is our cause, when in reality God may be having His way in that person’s life and we must step out of the way.

Confusion comes when we are in the way, and we hate to see people hurt and we try and figure out solutions to their problems. Get out of the way and the confusion will leave and when Christ directs you to do something you will not have to try and figure it out because Jesus will give you the answer. Be still and KNOW that He is God. Psalm 46:10.

To order a copy of my book, Wilderness Mentality, Stop Your Stinkin’ Thinkin’ go to www.createspace.com/4036785

The Journey's been long but the tide is about to turn

Circumstances, trials, crisis, let downs have captured the people of God.

Some have succumbed to the hardships of life. Some have even given up hope. While others have lost their faith and doubted God’s plans and purposes for their lives. This journey has been long and daunting.

The journey that you have been on has been unrelenting in trials and hardships. You may have even wondered at times what you have done to have such pain. Sometimes you have felt alone on this journey and that you have been misunderstood and even rejected by others closest to you. You have not known which path to take and have even found yourself going in circles or around the same ”mountains” again and again. You have tried to express to others how you have felt but it became apparent that you were not being understood. You may have lost all or most of your traveling companions on this journey. Others left because they could no longer figure you out or you realized at some point you were traveling two different journeys.

You may have experienced health aliments and even emotional distress during this time. You asked for prayer and maybe have been standing, waiting for your healing; and you are still waiting. You are not even sure which direction to take anymore. You feel you are in a waiting period, but you seem to still be waiting. Waiting on what you say, “those prayers, promises, healings, restorations, and direction.” You have held out and waited as you have seen the desires of your heart upon your enemies. The moms who have been praying relentlessly for their prodigal to return, the single waiting for their Godly spouse, family members waiting for family relationships to be healed and restored and for the sick waiting to be healed; these are the times to wait and trust a new journey will begin. It is not God’s intent to bring tragedy, pain, heartache and suffering for you entire life and you never receive good from the evil or harm that has come into your life.

There will be a day of reckoning, a day of restoration. What have you been holding out on? What are you still believing God for? Or what have you lost hope in? Be honest before the Lord, He already knows your heart. Is there something you have given up on already because the wait became too long? I will encourage you to read the entire chapter of Ruth. Ruth lost everything, husband and two sons and was beyond childbearing age. Her future looked bleak and hopeless. But then, God restored everything back to Ruth.

“And may He be a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him.”  Ruth 4: 15

Ruth waited a long time for things in her life to be restored. I am sure she had no idea how God was bringing these things to pass in her life. You may be in a place where you have hoped and nothing has happened or you did hope for something but it did not last. You may have deep discouragement and be very disillusioned about God. Ruth was so bitter about her circumstances she asked that her name be changed to Mara, which means bitter. What if she would have given up before her life was restored. Keep hoping, keep believing, and keep trusting God is a restorer.

The time has come for many to receive a new direction for your life. There is a new tide that is turning for the people of God who will flow in it. This new direction will not be familiar, you will not have chartered this territory before. It may not look exactly how you planned, but it is exactly what God has planned for you and it is good. It may be difficult to transition over because we like familiar and comfort, but go with the new flow and direction of God; do not stay stuck or you will become stagnant. God has been refining, restoring, correcting, teaching, and now the time has come to embrace a new journey. Don’t pick up where you were before. Start fresh, a new, and don’t look back, or compare the past to the future.

The tide is about to turn on this very long journey that you have been on. Make sure you are obedient to what Christ tells you and cleanse and repent of all sins. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Embrace the new journey. God is preparing His people, do not be deceived and continue on the journey that the world is taking; stay the course Christ has for you.

For more information on my ministry or sign-up for my FREE newsletter @ http://eepurl.com/2P6nv

For additional reading on the Wilderness Mentality, www.createspace.com/4036785

Word of Encouragement-Hold on in these end times!

NewSeason

Have you been in a rut lately? Are you going through the motions of life? Maybe it’s time to get stirred up again in the spirit. You might be wondering, how? Sometimes God speaks to us or gives us things to do, and we either ignore what He says to do or we procrastinate doing what He said; hoping He will change His mind.

What I have learned is to obey God as soon as you know He has said something. God is not pushy, nor will He make us feel guilty and condemned if we decide not to follow what He says. But we may notice a few things if we don’t obey God. We may notice our connection to God feels distant, we may lack joy or peace, and we may even feel confused. Why these things? It’s God’s desire to get you to follow His ways, which are for our good not harm. God won’t keep telling you to do the same things over and over again. He will step back and leave your life up to you; how you think your life should be. Living out of God’s obedience can cause a sense of unrest in your spirit. You can be affected in your mind, body, and spirit when you decide to follow your ways.

Maybe it’s time for a new season. Maybe it’s time to follow what God is telling you. Do you want more peace, more joy, and a more fulfilling relationship with God? Maybe it’s time to ask God, “What do you want me to do?” And then do it!

Here are some things the Lord gave me to be obedient with a while ago. I did not follow immediately, and I can say, “It is worth following God the first time.” Use these as a guideline, but seek God for yourself as to what He wants you to do. You may modify or add to this list.

·         Stop looking back. The past is over. This is a new day and a new season.

·         Don’t project the future, what it will be like or what it won’t.

·         Focus on the day you have been given. Take it one day at a time.

·         Trust me to work out your situations. Don’t try and figure them out.

·         Remain calm and peaceful at all times.

·         Do not complain, murmur or find-fault.

·         Do not criticize or judge others.

·         Speak faith-filled, positive thoughts not negative, defeated thoughts.

·         Be hopeful in all things.

·         Do not react in anger or hostility. Do not be easily provoked.

·         Do not be easily offended. Forgive continually.

·         Do not react to your circumstances.

·         Stop worrying and being anxious, instead pray.

Copyright ©2013. HopeCounselingMinistry. All rights reserved.

http://www.christianhopecounseling.com

Trouble with negative thinking? Check out Wilderness Mentality, Stop Your Stinkin’ Thinkin’@

http://www.createspace.com/4036785

Are you being led by God or your Emotions?

Are we as Christians supposed to do everything that someone wants us to? I used to be the one to help out and intervene in any and every situation because I thought it was my Christian duty and obligation. I also had few if any boundaries and was severely Co-dependent. You may ask can a Christian be Co-dependent. Absolutely, they can! I felt overly responsible for everyone’s problems, and took responsibility for other’s actions. When we take responsibility for other people’s actions we do not allow them to suffer any consequences. When we do that a vicious cycle occurs and it goes like this, you “bail” someone out of their situation and they have no consequence imposed and so they ask you to “bail” them out again and you do. Here goes the insanity wheel. There is no end to the cycle. Does anyone relate? Do you have people in your life that you continually bail out of troubling situations, only to find they need you to bail them out again and again and again. It never stops. You feel taken advantage of and you feel used. You have no peace about helping but you feel that is what good Christians do or you feel responsible.

 Do you feel worn-out over the same situations? Do you feel you’re helping or enabling? Enabling is doing something for someone else they are incapable of doing for themselves. Helping is doing something for someone else that they cannot do for themselves. If you are involved in situations with people that have repeated patterns of not helping themselves but allowing anyone to help them through manipulating and guilt, then this is clearly not coming from God. Your flesh may want to intervene once again but you know it will just put a band aid on the situation.

The best thing that you can do for someone who has repeatedly taken advantage of you or manipulated you is to intercede for them in pray. Getting entangled in other’s affairs that they do not want to get out of will only cause you to get trapped. If your peace is lost or you have no peace in helping, whether it is family or someone needy then know God does not want you to step into that situation. You may say, “Yeah, but if I don’t step in something awful might happen.” That may be true, but God does not lay fear on us the enemy does.

Ask yourself, “Do I have peace from God in intervening in a situation or do I feel guilty, shame and fear?” Do you feel trapped, like you are the only hope or answer to a troubling situation? If you feel that then God is not in it. Stop trying to be the Holy Spirit. God does impose consequences, so why should we step in and remove those consequences from others’ lives? Yes, God is loving but He does not condone our sinful acts and we should not condone the sinful acts of others. We should have grace and love for them but we should not get in the way of what God maybe trying to do. What if you step in to what God is trying to do and the situation is prolonged as a result? Get out of the way!

We as Christians are not meant to be doormats. Sure we hear as Christians, “Serve in love.” We should as God calls us to, but we must follow after Christ’s leading and example. Christ did not continually and repeatedly bail people out of their situations. He led and showed them usually once and then moved on to the next person. You may even say, “But their family, I have to.” You are adopted into a new family now and your brothers and sisters in Christ are your family. We do not have to be enmeshed and triangulated with our families of origin. You need to know your boundaries and your family needs to know their boundaries. It is okay to help a family member in need, but when it becomes habitual watch out, God no longer is in it. 

Check out this website for help for Christian Co-dependency: www.christiancodependence.com

Copyright@2013. HopeCounselingMinistry. All rights reserved.

www.christianhopecounseling.com

Discipline Your Mind

Discipline your mind; otherwise it will be out of control. You cannot just think whatever falls into your mind. You must take every thought captive into the obedience of Christ. What are your thoughts generally like? Do you just allow whatever comes to your mind and start believing it and then eventually feeling it?

Every minute we have about 38 thoughts. That means we have a different thought every 1.2 seconds. The average person has about 50,000 thoughts per day. What we choose to accept as truth in our thoughts, we will eventually begin to feel that way.  Our thoughts are powerful and they can encourage us or destroy us. The battlefield is in the mind, and that is where satan plants his seeds. As these “seeds” are planted into your mind, do you water the seeds and let them take root?

You cannot help how you feel, but you can choose what you think and in turn what you choose to think about will affect how you feel. Your thoughts produce feelings. What are you agreeing with when the enemy plants a seed in your mind? It could be a seed of doubt or a seed of fear. Do you agree with what enters in your mind, because you believe it must be true if It is in your mind? Your feelings are deceptive and cannot be trusted.

We must discipline our minds not only to take every thought captive but also to replace the negative mind-set with positive, faith-filled thoughts. If you have a negative mind-set and you take every thought captive, you might be taking a lot of thoughts captive in the beginning. If we on estimate have 38 thoughts per minute and most of them are negative we will be up for a challenge. However, in time you can break this habit if you keep at it and totally rely on God’s help.

God cares about what we are thinking about because what we think about eventually becomes what we do. Our rotten thinking will eventually become our rotten attitudes. We will become what we think. Our thoughts are tied to our behavior. Most of us just think about whatever comes into our minds. Is your mind like a wilderness? All over the place and barren, not producing anything of value.

We are to have the mind of Christ, and any thoughts contrary to the Word of God we must get rid of immediately.

Contact author @ www.christianhopecounseling.com

Copyright@2013, HopeCounselingMinistry. All Rights Reserved.

Get Out of the Wilderness

Dictionary.com defines wilderness as: A wild and uncultivated region, as of forest or desert, uninhabited or inhabited by wild animals; a tract of wasteland.

So are you in the wilderness? Is your mind in the wilderness, and not under control of the Holy Spirit? Where have you been living, in the “wilderness” or in the “Promised Land?”

Now is the time to let go of former things and your wilderness living. You have dwelt in the wilderness long enough. In the wilderness you held onto the past. You had no peace, no joy, and no hope. You were burdened in the wilderness. You were not free, but held in captivity. You were in bondage. In the wilderness, you cared about what people thought about you. You pleased man rather than God. You looked at your circumstances and complained. You threw yourself a little pity party, and became a victim rather than a victor. You allowed negative emotions to rule over you. You wandered aimlessly in the wilderness but could not find a way out.

Are you sick and tired of your life yet, your wilderness? Have you tried everything and it is just not working? If so, you may be in the wilderness. Just as the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 long years, so can we remain in a type of wilderness? God does not want you to stay in the wilderness, but you may not know how to get out of the wilderness. You may have been in the wilderness for so long that you do not know how to get out of the wilderness. The good news is if you are tired of your ways enough, change is possible.

You know you are in the wilderness if your life is full of negativity, burdens too heavy to carry, a lack of joy and peace, confusion (lack of direction), oppression, and fear (anxiety). If you are in the wilderness you are not living the abundant life that God says that you can have.

Would you dare to believe there can be change? Would you like to be in the Promised Land instead of living in the wilderness? In the Promised Land your eyes are on Jesus not your circumstances or the “giants” in your life. You have God’s eyes and His ears. You are now His vessel that His spirit can flow through. Your life is marked with peace and joy despite your circumstances. You have a hope that is unshakeable.

Here are some practical steps to get you out of the wilderness and into the Promised Land living:

1.      Believe God is bigger than your problems.

2.      Speak faith-filled words. Watch what you are speaking over yourself and others. Your words are powerful. They can produce life or death. Choose your words carefully.

3.      Don’t speak what you see but what God can do. Speak to that “mountain” in your life. Don’t let that “mountain” speak to you, or it will!

4.      Enjoy right where you are at. Be content with the season you are in. Knowing all seasons does eventually end. Don’t “curse” your next season with your words.

5.      Do not complain find-fault or judge yourself or others.

6.      Do not look at your problems/circumstances and speak negatively or defeat over them. The enemy WILL present things and situations to stir you up and get you to speak out what you see.

7.      Carry hope continually. Never, ever let hope disappear. Even if you have failed, made mistakes, and have been defeated. NEVER stop hoping. We will soon end up discouraged and eventually defeated if we stop hoping. Always hope for better!

8.      Pray before reacting to what the enemy shows you or tells you. DO NOT react, the enemy sees and will use your reaction against you.

9.      Maintain peace with yourself and others. Walk in peace, talk peace, be peace. Refrain from arguments, contentions, strife, anger, and division. Live in peace.

10.  Be easy on yourself. Be gentle and loving with yourself. Stop belittling and beating yourself up. God does not do this to you, so why should you do this to yourself.

11.  Keep all sin out of your life. Continually purge and confess sin. Be cleansed by the blood of Jesus not condemnation.

12.  CHOOSE to walk in faith and not fear. Yes, I say choose because fear will try and come against you but CHOOSE to rise in faith.

Do not remember the former things,

Nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing,

Now it shall spring forth;

Shall you not know it?

I will even make a road in the wilderness

And rivers in the desert.

Isaiah 43:18-19, NKJV

Side note from author: I believe so much in helping people understand being free from wilderness living that I wrote an entire book called, Wilderness Mentality. You can find this book on amazon.com.

Copyright@2013, HopeCounselingMinistry. All Rights Reserved.