Showing posts with label emotional stability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional stability. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Counselor's Corner: Understanding Mental and Emotional Stability



Spiritual maturity and emotional maturity go hand-in-hand; you cannot have one without the other. Emotional health involves knowing your limits, and not reacting act of emotions to circumstances. Everyone has limits, and it is wise to know yours.

Have you ever began your morning and said something like this, “Today, I will not let the enemy kill the joy and peace I desire to have.” Then something happens in your day and you feel emotionally drained. What happened? Reaction to circumstances. The enemy set you up by “baiting” you with people and circumstances that are difficult, stressful, and overwhelming. The enemy hopes we will react in our emotions, because this will usually lead us into sin. We are not to be led by our emotions and feelings; they are deceitful and constantly changing. We will encounter trials, stress and difficult people, but we must take a step back, go and pray, and be still and quiet as we wait for God’s intervention.


Some key factors that you are at your limit emotionally:

Emotions are running high.
Stress and/or fatigue.
Short temper.
Lack of grace and patience.

It is important to know if you have experienced emotional trauma and stress, so that you can heal and know how to deal properly in certain situations. Emotional trauma and stress can happen once or it can be a series of stressful events. If that is something you have endured, it is likely you will have a high stress/emotional response to current stressful situations. Is it hopeless? No, with acknowledging your hurt, facing the truth of your limits, and totally relying on God’s help and healing; there is hope.

People are more likely to be traumatized by stressful events if they are already under a heavy load. Childhood trauma can increase the risk of future trauma, and the way we deal and process stressful events. Emotional stress can be detrimental to your health and well-being. Find out what is causing your mental and emotional instability, and begin being proactive and make needed changes to your life. Your body is not able to defend itself against emotional stress, which in turn triggers mental and emotional instability.

Causes of emotional trauma and stress:

It happened unexpectedly.
You were unprepared for it.
You were powerless to prevent it.
It happened repeatedly (exposure to continued stressful situations).
It happened in childhood.

As Christians, we should make it a priority to have mental and emotional stability, but we may need to first understand what is causing it and what actions need to be taken to deal effectively with current and past stressors. What has occurred in the past as a stressful event can still cause us to react emotionally if we are continually exposed to that stressor. Know your triggers and past hurts, and how they could still be triggering an emotional response currently. If you experience frequent ups and downs emotionally, it is time to examine why and seek God for intervention; it is not His will for you to live unstable emotionally.

Having a better balance on your emotions will cause you to feel better physically and to have an increase in energy. It is time to ask yourself,” What am I expending my emotional energy on?” Remember, the enemy knows what will cause you to react and to get upset. Having emotional stability will enable you to peacefully and calmly go through difficult situations. Emotional stability does not mean suppressing your emotions, but controlling them.

A hallmark of a mentally and emotionally stable person is the ability to control one’s emotions.

Keys to mental and emotional stability:

First, admit your limits. What you can and cannot handle. Be okay with that, and don’t compare what other people can endure.
Recognize the people that deplete your energy, are unhealthy, and cause you stress. You may want to reevaluate your time and exposure to them.
Don’t take on more than you can handle; whether at work, ministry, church, or family.
Learn to say, “No,” when you are feeling stressed, tired, sick, or just need some alone time with yourself or God.
Don’t take on other’s issues, problems, or stress. We can pray for people, but we cannot do for others if we ourselves are depleted.
Do not react to your feelings or emotions. Pray first.
Exercise, eat healthy, and maintain a trustworthy/healthy support system.
Journal by processing your pent-up feelings, and talk to God about your deepest concerns.
Understanding that if you are mentally and emotionally unstable, it is likely you have endured some emotional/psychological trauma and stress, and that you need God’s help to overcome these damaged emotions. Don’t be hard on yourself, if you have emotional instability, but recognize that there is hope and a way to cope effectively.

1 Peter 5:8-9, Teaches us to be well-balanced and temperate (self-controlled) to keep satan from devouring us.

Psalm 94:13, God wants to give us power to stay calm in adversity.


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Why I Crave Stability


I grew up in a home that was unstable and I never knew what the atmosphere in our home would be like. I did not know from minute to minute who would be upset or who would explode in a rage. I do not ever remember experiencing peace in my home, I believe that is why I am so adamant in there being peace in my home now. I also like to know what is going to happen before it does, or at least have a plan. I realize we cannot plan everything, but my world goes into complete chaos if I don’t have some sort of plan, even if it is an outline. I don’t like unexpected company or unplanned events. I am a planner at heart and I do really try to “go with the flow,” but when you come from chaos you crave stability. In my mind plans=stability.

I grew up with family members who had various mental health issues and substance and alcohol addictions, so there was little stability in my world. Even now as I am all grown up, many of my family members still have mental health issues and addictions, including my son. I never know what I will get from some of my family, some days they are consistent and others days they “drop off the face of the earth.” Some days they are great to talk with and others days they are draining emotionally, but the difficult part is that I do not know when they will have a good or bad day. I don’t know if I say, “No,” to their requests if I will hear from them again. I have no idea from day to day what will come out of their mouths, or if today they will decide to follow Jesus. Even their relationship with Jesus is a roller coaster ride, some days they pursue Him and others days they are pursuing the things of the world. Sometimes they will pray with me and others times they want nothing to do with prayer.

I never know where they will end up living, several in my family change where they live frequently and most of the time I don’t even know where they live. Their phone numbers change just as frequent. Sometimes I don’t hear anything from them at all, leaving me to wonder yet again, “Are they okay?”

I wish I could say I had more stability in my family but I don’t. I am the most stable person in my family, and I am the “baby.” I am very big on people keeping their word and doing what they say they are going to do, and I know that is a result of so many in my life who do just the opposite of that. Oh, how I crave stability!

It is amazing how we can ride the roller coaster of emotions with others, but I don’t want that! If my family CHOOSES to live in turmoil and instability then that is their choice! I cannot control others, but I can control myself and I can maintain peace and stability in my home. I can CHOOSE how often I interact with the unstable people in my life. I don’t have to ride the “crazy train,” I am CHOOSING to get off!

I desire the later part of my life to have peace and stability from Christ. If others CHOOSE to continue to live in turmoil, then they can, but I can’t and will not any longer. Yes, my heart goes out to others who are emotionally unstable but I can’t let it drown me any longer. I have to CHOOSE every day to fight against the generational sins and strongholds in my family, but I fight. I CHOOSE to get in the Word and believe what it says despite my feelings. And yes, some day are more challenging to have stability like around the time of my cycle, but I try not to spew and spill my emotions over any and every one. I have problems just like everyone else, but I don’t expect others to clean up my mess or bail me out of my troubles. I ask for prayer if I am in deep trouble, but I don’t expect others to carry my load and burden themselves. Unstable people will get you to carry their load and yours too! Unstable people have no boundaries, so they don’t know when enough is enough-you have to set the boundaries with them!

I long for the day that I can count on my family, but if that day never comes; I can ALWAYS count on Jesus. I long for the day that I won’t feel like I have to pick up the pieces in their lives, and be the “rock” for them because their lives are so chaotic, BUT if that does not happen-God will be my rock! I will have stability in my life and home regardless of who in my life does not. I will no longer carry the guilt of them not being able to get their lives together, and feeling sorry for them. I will no longer feel sorry for them, and feel it is my duty to fix their problems and be the “rock” for them. I am not a rock, I am a person with human weaknesses, but Jesus can become their rock. I can feel bad for them and believe they just have not had the opportunities that I have had, or their lives have been harder than mine; but the reality is my life has been no calk walk! The difference is I make CHOICES daily that I will pursue God and His ways.


You therefore, beloved, knowing beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. 2 Peter 3:17



Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Understanding Mental and Emotional Stability



Spiritual maturity and emotional maturity go hand-in-hand; you cannot have one without the other. Emotional health involves knowing your limits, and not reacting act of emotions to circumstances. Everyone has limits, and it is wise to know yours.

Have you ever began your morning and said something like this, “Today, I will not let the enemy kill the joy and peace I desire to have.” Then something happens in your day and you feel emotionally drained. What happened? Reaction to circumstances. The enemy set you up by “baiting” you with people and circumstances that are difficult, stressful, and overwhelming. The enemy hopes we will react in our emotions, because this will usually lead us into sin. We are not to be led by our emotions and feelings; they are deceitful and constantly changing. We will encounter trials, stress and difficult people, and sometimes when we our “off-guard,” but we must take a step back, go and pray, and be still and quiet as we wait for God’s intervention.
 
Do you feel like this sometimes?

Some key factors that you are at your limit emotionally:

1.        Emotions are running high.

2.       Stress and/or fatigue.


3.       Short temper.

4.       Lack of grace and patience.


It is important to know if you have experienced emotional trauma and stress, so that you can heal and know how to deal properly in certain situations. Emotional trauma and stress can happen once or it can be a series of stressful events. If that is something you have endured, it is likely you will have a high stress/emotional response to current stressful situations. Is it hopeless? No, with acknowledging your hurt, facing the truth of your limits, and totally relying on God’s help and healing; there is hope.

People are more likely to be traumatized by stressful events if they are already under a heavy load. Childhood trauma can increase the risk of future trauma, and the way we deal and process stressful events. Emotional stress can be detrimental to your health and well-being. Find out what is causing your mental and emotional instability, and begin being proactive and make needed changes to your life. Your body is not able to defend itself against emotional stress, which in turn triggers mental and emotional instability.

 Causes of emotional trauma and stress:

1.       It happened unexpectedly.

2.       You were unprepared for it.


3.       You were powerless to prevent it.

4.       It happened repeatedly (exposure to continued stressful situations).


5.       It happened in childhood.


As Christians, we should make it a priority to have mental and emotional stability, but we may need to first understand what is causing it and what actions need to be taken to deal effectively with current and past stressors. What has occurred in the past as a stressful event can still cause us to react emotionally if we are continually exposed to that stressor. Know your triggers and past hurts, and how they could still be triggering an emotional response currently. If you experience frequent ups and downs emotionally, it is time to examine why and seek God for intervention; it is not His will for you to live unstable emotionally.

 Having a better balance on your emotions will cause you to feel better physically and to have an increase in energy. It is time to ask yourself,” What am I expending my emotional energy on?” Remember, the enemy knows what will cause you to react and to get upset. Having emotional stability will enable you to peacefully and calmly go through difficult situations. Emotional stability does not mean suppressing your emotions, but controlling them.


A hallmark of a mentally and emotionally stable person is the ability to control one’s emotions.


Keys to mental and emotional stability:

1.       First, admit your limits. What you can and cannot handle. Be okay with that, and don’t compare what other people can endure.

2.       Recognize the people that deplete your energy, are unhealthy, and cause you stress. You may want to reevaluate your time and exposure to them.


3.       Don’t take on more than you can handle; whether at work, ministry, church, or family.

4.       Learn to say, “No,” when you are feeing stressed, tired, sick, or just need some alone time with yourself or God.


5.       Don’t take on other’s issues, problems, or stress. We can pray for people, but we cannot do for others if we ourselves are depleted.

6.       Do not react to your feelings or emotions. Pray first.


7.       Exercise, eat healthy, and maintain a trustworthy/healthy support system.

8.       Journal by processing your pent-up feelings, and talk to God about your deepest concerns.


Understanding that if you are mentally and emotionally unstable, it is likely you have endured some emotional/psychological trauma and stress, and that you need God’s help to overcome these damaged emotions. Don’t be hard on yourself, if you have emotional instability, but recognize that there is hope and a way to cope effectively.

1 Peter 5:8-9, Teaches us to be well-balanced and temperate (self-controlled) to keep satan from devouring us.

Psalm 94:13, God wants to give us power to stay calm in adversity.




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