Counselor's Corner: Rising Above Disappointments in Life

A disappointment in life can be anything that has let you down or not come through for you in some way.

Disappointments can happen in relationships, unfulfilled dreams, dashed hopes, or unmet needs.

Disappointments can rob you of hoping again. If you have been disappointed repeatedly you may be inclined to think, “Why hope again, I’ll just get disappointed again.”

I have been disappointed numerous times these last few months, anywhere from family relationships becoming difficult and strained, not being what I need them to be to gaining weight even though I am an avid runner and tend to eat pretty healthy.

 

Let the light of hope shine even if it's just a flicker.

I have wondered and even questioned God on a few of my disappointments, ‘God, why did you allow this to happen, again!” I can admit that perhaps I have felt a little disappointed with God. I try and live my life pleasing to the Lord and I have a healthy fear of God, sometimes I think,” That should give me a pass from experiencing pain.”

When you experience a series of disappointments over a short period of time, the disappointments can weigh heavy on your mind. Negative thinking can ensue as a result and you can think defeated thoughts like, “Nothing ever works out or “This always happens to me.”

It is wonderful to have hopes and dreams, but when your hopes and dreams are dependent on people or your circumstances working out the way you would like-you will be disappointed.

What do you do when disappointments threaten to rob you of experiencing hope again?

1.     Take some time and experience the pain of your disappointment. Don’t pretend it did not bother you or push it away. Deal with the hurt surrounding your disappointment.

2.     Step into reality and ask yourself is it really that bad? Many times, we want what we want, but when we get it, we find we did not want it after all.

3.     Don’t stew over your disappointments, overwise discouragement can develop into depression. If you feel hopeless that things will get better, you have crossed over into depression.

4.     After you deal with your disappointment, don’t ruminate over what might have been or could have been.

5.     Focus on what is right and good in your life and keep a daily gratitude journal. Change your focus from the disappointment to what is going right.

6.     Expectations can lead to disappointment, so adjust your expectations. Your hopes cannot be on your children, your family, your finances, or your career.

7.     Discipline your mind by taking those negative thoughts captive that can accompany discouragement by replacing them with truth of God’s Word and faith-filled thoughts.

*If you need more help on discipling your mind, check out my book, “Discipling your mind, 30 days to a better you.”

www.stephaniereck.com

Respond:

What about you, how do you deal with disappointments?

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner How to Accept Your Life Just the Way It Is

Have you ever told yourself, “Life is not fair?” Have you struggled with the reality of the way your life has turned out? Did you have different dreams and hopes for your life?

One of the best ways to deal with the unfairness of life is acceptance-accepting that this is how things are and how you can find ways around it to thrive better. You have to learn how to navigate your life differently. If what you are doing is not working, such as, hoping and wishing things were different in your life; you need to change the direction in your thinking and responses to these adverse events in your life. Acceptance may seem harsh, but living in the cycle of continual dashed hopes is exhausting. Your life plan will not look like everyone else’s life plan. Stop comparing what other people have and you don’t.

Living in a continually state of surrender, and letting go of control can be a challenge; especially if life has not quite worked out the way you thought it would. You can try and control your environment, other people, but you will end-up frustrated. Letting go of things that are out of your control is a key step to acceptance.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

Marin Luther King, Jr.

Focus on you. It is not your job to fix everyone else’s drama. Accept the fact that some people may not want to change, and you have to accept this reality. You may need to accept that some people are not good for you, and learn to release them fully into God’s care.

Learning to let go of things that are not in your best interest can ease stress and lift your mood. Trying to change people or continually trying to fix them, will cause you to live in a state on continually unrest.

When you begin to ACCEPT your life as it is there will be benefits. Does this mean you should stop praying, believing, and hoping? Absolutely not! However, you may need to step into the reality of how things are right now, but always keep the door of hope open. If you are living in a state of looking at others’ lives wanting what they have, or wanting a different life; then you are in jeopardy of discontentment. Acceptance of your lot in life can bring less stress, you will be able to let go of past trauma, your mood will improve, your sleep will be better, you will be more content, depression will decrease or maybe even completely lift, and you will feel more control over your life.

When you have things in your life that linger or that bother you daily, it is time for a change. Many people linger on about things that are out of their control, this can bring stress, depression, and anxiety. Learning to count your blessings every day is a start to accepting your life. In other words, what is right in your life? REFOCUS. Instead of reflecting on what you do not have, start choosing to see what you do have. Keep your mind off the situations in your life that cause you the most depression and anxiety. Instead cast your cares on God (1 Peter 5:7). Cast your cares, and then go do something else, don’t stew over them over and over.

Not that I am speaking in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Philippians 4:11

And He said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15

What are some things that you may need to let go of?

How to Accept Your Life Just the Way It Is

Have you ever told yourself, “Life is not fair?” Have you struggled with the reality of the way your life has turned out? Did you have different dreams and hopes for your life?

One of the best ways to deal with the unfairness of life is acceptance-accepting that this is how things are and how you can find ways around it to thrive better. You have to learn how to navigate your life differently. If what you are doing is not working, such as, hoping and wishing things were different in your life; you need to change the direction in your thinking and responses to these adverse events in your life. Acceptance may seem harsh, but living in the cycle of continual dashed hopes is exhausting. Your life plan will not look like everyone else’s life plan. Stop comparing what other people have and you don’t.

Living in a continually state of surrender, and letting go of control can be a challenge; especially if life has not quite worked out the way you thought it would. You can try and control your environment, other people, but you will end-up frustrated. Letting go of things that are out of your control is a key step to acceptance.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

Marin Luther King, Jr.

Focus on you. It is not your job to fix everyone else’s drama. Accept the fact that some people may not want to change, and you have to accept this reality. You may need to accept that some people are not good for you, and learn to release them fully into God’s care.

Learning to let go of things that are not in your best interest can ease stress and lift your mood. Trying to change people or continually trying to fix them, will cause you to live in a state on continually unrest.

When you begin to ACCEPT your life as it is there will be benefits. Does this mean you should stop praying, believing, and hoping? Absolutely not! However, you may need to step into the reality of how things are right now, but always keep the door of hope open. If you are living in a state of looking at others’ lives wanting what they have, or wanting a different life; then you are in jeopardy of discontentment. Acceptance of your lot in life can bring less stress, you will be able to let go of past trauma, your mood will improve, your sleep will be better, you will be more content, depression will decrease or maybe even completely lift, and you will feel more control over your life.

When you have things in your life that linger or that bother you daily, it is time for a change. Many people linger on about things that are out of their control, this can bring stress, depression, and anxiety. Learning to count your blessings every day is a start to accepting your life. In other words, what is right in your life? REFOCUS. Instead of reflecting on what you do not have, start choosing to see what you do have. Keep your mind off the situations in your life that cause you the most depression and anxiety. Instead cast your cares on God (1 Peter 5:7). Cast your cares, and then go do something else, don’t stew over them over and over.

Not that I am speaking in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Philippians 4:11

And He said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15

What are some things that you may need to let go of?