Counselor's Corner: What Does it Mean to Cast Your Care on the Lord?

What are you holding onto that is causing stress, tension, and worry? A wayward child, troubles in the family, or job difficulties?

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

What exactly does it mean to cast your burden on the Lord?

Burdens make you feel heavy, weighted-down, and like you are the one who has to figure out how to solve the problem. When you feel burdened God promises that if you cast your care upon Him; He will sustain you.

→To cast means to throw something forcefully in a specified direction, or to throw off or away.

1.      Talk to God about your concerns. Be open and honest about what is concerning you or causing your anxiety. Don’t pretend you don’t have concerns and that everything is fine. Come before the Lord and tell Him.

2.      Sit quietly before God and allow Him the opportunity to speak to you about what is concerning you.

3.      Visualize yourself handing over to Jesus the person or situation that is concerning you. Ask God to take your concerns as you place them in His hands.

4.      Pray whatever is concerning you that God intervenes and that the plans of the enemy would come to a halt in the name of Jesus.

5.      Speak out loud scriptures daily over your life, and the situations that concern you.

6.      The most difficult part-after you have given your burdens to the Lord it is time to get up and keep moving. Don’t focus all day and night on what burdens you, if you constantly carry your burdens you will end-up physically, mentally and spiritually drained.

7.      Have a set time during the day, preferably first thing in the morning where you cast your burdens on the Lord and then leave it for the day. Sometimes, our burdens do crop up during the day even after giving them to the Lord. When this happens, don’t sit around and entertain all the possibilities of what could go wrong and what could happen. Stop and give your concerns back to the Lord. If you are undergoing difficult circumstances you may have to do this several times a day. The key to leaving your concerns with God is to not dwell, analyze and worry for hours a day. You could have intrusive thoughts that can be common if you have endured traumatic or difficult situations. The more you practice leaving your burdens with Jesus, the less intrusive thoughts you will have.

8.      The most important key in casting your burdens on the Lord is trusting God with His timing and His outcomes for what you are concerned about. Waiting patiently and expectedly that God has heard your cries and He will come through. As you are waiting on God, DON’T STEP IN AND TAKE OVER! If you get impatient as you wait for God to make a way, keep giving Him your burdens. Tell God, “I can’t carry _____________ (whatever your burden is) any longer, please take care of this for me.”

9.      Believe in your heart that God does care about you and your troubling situation. God’s Word says to cast your anxieties on Him because He cares for us.

10.  Humble yourself before God. Admit to God that you are not capable or strong enough to deal with your burdens.

11.  After casting your burdens on the Lord, you will be able to enter His rest and you will feel light and your load will not feel heavy any longer. The key to Divine rest and a light load is to not hold onto what is burdening you and not to doubt that God has heard your cries for help. Allow God to work, STEP OUT AND LET GOD STEP IN! Only then you experience God’s rest. There are some things that you have to let go of and let God take full control. It is okay to daily give your concerns to God until there is complete victory, and thank God for the victory that is coming.

→Be aware when you are feeling overly concerned in any area of your life, stop and pray immediately and ask God to intervene. You will know you are overly concerned when you are thinking constantly about a troubling situation, worrying, fretting, and figuring out what you can do to.

→Casting your burdens on the Lord usually is not a one-time event but can be daily if you have many burdens that you carry. The more you practice casting your burdens on the Lord, you may notice less tension, stress, and anxiety in your life.

Counselor’s Corner: Listen When Your Body is saying to Rest

In our fast paced culture, being busy is a mark of success. But is it really? Being busy and on the go all the time can create havoc on your physical bodies. Not getting the proper amounts of down time can cause stress and a decrease in your immune system. If you are under any additional stress in your life, then taking time to rest your body will be essential; otherwise your body will cause you to rest.

If you have any chronic stress in your life, taking sufficient times of rest can help rebuild your energy levels and aid in strengthening your immune system. In our society we are not taught that rest is good, in fact, we are encouraged to “burn the candle at both ends.” Life is short no matter how many years that you live. You can work constantly and never take vacation time and you can stay so busy with outside activities that the day is just a blur. What’s the point in working so hard you can’t enjoy the simple things in life? For more money, a better title/position, or to get the applaud of others? There usually is a time in everyone’s life that you have to work hard such as when you are in college and have to work full-time, and sometimes people have to work two jobs because they are a single parent. I am not referring to people who are in the “you gotta do what you gotta do,” phase in their life, but for people who never, ever rest. Even when you are in a stage in your life that is hectic, you can still carve sometime for rest. We all get time off, but many use their time off unwisely by running and doing when they may need to rest. Yes, there are times that you can “play hard,” just not when your body is saying, “I feel tired.” Many push themselves and their limits and end up getting sick.

Your life should be balanced. Equal amounts of time for work, play and rest. Some days you may need a little more rest because of persistent stressors that can exhaust your energy levels and diminish your immune system’s ability to fight colds and viruses.

Reflect and ponder: Do you push yourself to keep going and doing when your body is telling you it needs rest? Why do you believe you feel the need to keep going?

Counselor’s Corner:

Your body will let you know when it needs rest. If you have experienced several of the following, your body may be saying, “Slow down.”

·        Fatigue. Difficulty getting up in the morning

·        Difficulty staying or falling asleep

·        Difficulty concentrating

·        Distracted and lose of focus

·        Irritable, short-fused, or agitated

·        Upset stomach

·        Headaches

·        General malaise

·        Easily frustrated

·        Appetite changes-decrease or increase in eating habits

·        Sighing frequently

·        Shortness of breath

·        Anxiousness

·        Depression

·        Loss of motivation

·        Lack of creativity

What can you do during your times of rest?

1.      Turn off your cell phone and check at the end of the day.

2.      Do not engage in social media. Checking your Facebook status will not cause you to rest.

3.      Lay down and take a nap.

4.      Watch a movie that is enjoyable and eat your favorite snack.

5.      Take a warm bubble bath.

6.      Take a leisurely walk in your neighborhood.

7.      Get your chores out of the way so you don’t do any chores during your time of rest.

8.      Read a good book.

9.      Spend quiet time with God. Be still and listen for the Holy Spirit to speak.

10.  Spend time just “soaking” with worship music.

11.  Sit outside on observe God’s beautiful creations.

What not to do when your body needs rest:

1.      Running to and fro when your body is depleted.

2.      Hanging out with people who drain you.

3.      Checking your phone, texts, emails, and social media.

4.      Doing heavy chores or chores that take a while to complete.

5.      Worrying and analyzing your problems over and over.

6.      Doing anything that would cause stress.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.

Psalm 23:2-3

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work.

Genesis 2:2-3

Then because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, He said to them,” Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Mark 6:31

Most of What We Worry About Never Happens

I read somewhere years ago that 85% of what we worry about never happens! And what does happen you will be able to handle better than expected.

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened. Winston Churchill

Worry is feeling uneasy or being overly concerned about a situation. Excessive worry puts your mind in overdrive and you constantly focus on what may happen. Excessive worriers react intensely to stressful triggers, and even thinking about the situation can lead to great anxiety. When we are worrying, we are in the midst of repetitive thinking that is non-productive. People who are analytical tend to worry more because they are trying to figure out a solution to their problem.

Everyone has normal stress and demands, but when worries and anxieties become chronic; the stress response can be triggered. The stress response is known as “flight or fight,” and causes the body’s sympathetic nervous system to release stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These stress hormones can trigger health problems such as dizziness, fatigue, dry mouth, irritability, headaches, shortness of breath, and muscle tension. The outpouring of stress hormones can lead to a suppressed immune system, short-term memory loss, and heart attack. When we worry our bodies respond the same way it would react to physical danger. Your body will tense up as you prepare for danger and this can turn into aches and pains such as headaches and back pain.

Worry is a waste of time, and it drains us of energy. Why do we worry then? We believe that all our worrying will help somehow. We believe that if we worry enough we might prevent bad things from happening.

If we are worrying, we are not trusting God.

Worry leads to anxiety and anxiety leads to fear. Worry can also make you more prone to depression. Worry disturbs your peace and it becomes more difficult to concentrate when worried.

You can rewire your brain to stop worrying by focusing on the following:

1.      When a worrisome thought enters your mind, immediately take that thought captive to Christ. Ask God to help you to stop repeatedly thinking about the problem and ask for His wisdom. Trust God and take your concerns to Him instead of worrying. It is okay to have concerns about things, but take them to God instead of mulling over them in your mind.

Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

2.      Become thankful. Be thankful for the things that you do have, and do not dwell on circumstances out of your control. Think on the good things in your life.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8

3.      Focus on one day at a time. Stop projecting what may happen tomorrow. God’s grace is sufficient for the day, He does not give us grace for days and weeks ahead. Remember most of what we worry about never happens.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious or itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34

4.      Trust God with your life and with your loved ones, even when you do not understand all what has taken place in your life.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight before you. Proverbs 3:5-6

Worry in not productive and it can trigger many health ailments, including depression. There is always something to worry about, but worry does not change anything for the good. The energy that is expended on worrying could be used for more productive things. It is okay to be concerned over things in our lives, but when we begin to obsessively think about the issues; we are worrying-talk to God instead about your concerns and leave the worries with the One who can do something about them.

Are you a chronic worrier? What action steps can you take today to reduce your worrying?

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Is Your Life Out of Balance?

What are you chasing after more? Time with God, money, people, or possessions? When you begin to experience stress, fatigue, and a feeling of being burdened, it’s time to pull back and reevaluate why.

Oftentimes, we take on too much that God has not called us to, and we take on the responsibilities of others; this is called a false sense of responsibility. When we are living in God’s Divine plan, there is peace and order. When we don’t place God first, our lives become unmanageable. We have a sense that we cannot handle all of life’s problems. Let’s face it, life is tough and without spending time with God to hear His voice and direction; we will get burdened.

The enemy has a plan to create as much havoc and chaos is our lives, and keep us distracted.

Just because something seems good, does not mean it is good for us. We are not to copy what others are doing either. So many times, people get frustrated and overwhelmed because they are trying to mimic what someone else is doing.

You are not meant to do everything and be everything to everybody, this can lead to people-pleasing. If you please man more and not God, you are going to be weighed down.

God has specific tasks for each one of us, but you will not know what those are unless you spend time with God. Our busyness, is not Godly or Holy, but a tactic of the enemy to wear us out. Don’t try and follow what the crowd does, but know what your unique plan is from God.

Other people will not like it when you tell them, “No,” be prepared for this. You must know what YOU are supposed to do. Stop looking around at everyone else for direction. God has not called you to be a copycat. You will find that others will want you to do what they are doing, but you must step away from the desire to please man.

To get your life back in order and free from the pressures and demands of people and life, pull away and be with God alone, especially when you are exhausted. Being tired and overworked is not God’s plan for you. It does not matter what other’s expect from you, but what God desires for you.

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-30

Some questions to reflect on:

1.      What do you need to cut back on or cut out of your life to be free from over-responsibility?

2.      What do you crave and desire most from your life? Are you pursuing God first?

3.      Are you a people-pleaser? How do you know? What can you do differently?

4.       Do you feel overwhelmed, burdened? If yes, why? Do you believe this is God’s plan for you?

Stress and Exhaustion

Life can be tough, and at times overwhelming. One of the main things that I hear Christians say is, “I am so stressed and exhausted.” There is no doubt the enemy has launched his attacks against Christians.

Some Christians are falling away from their faith because of the stresses of life that have crushed them. Then, there are Christians who are growing closer and deeper to God as the world around them ensues in chaos and turmoil.

There is a war, a spiritual war being waged against Christians in these last days. I believe the enemy is assaulting Christians with circumstances that are gut-wrenching. How many Christians do you know are battling with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, troubled family and marriages, and financial difficulties?

Stress is caused by a perceived unmanageable set of circumstances that are out of our control.

Stress makes you physically tired, irritable, frustrated, can lead to depression, anger, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues. Stress can lower your immune system, cause ulcers, gastrointestinal problems, high blood pressure, and insomnia. People who are under stress usually isolate themselves. If you are tired and sick the enemy is “setting you up,” as the enemy being the predator and you being the prey. As in the wild, a predator stalks its prey and watches until it gets alone, possibly injured or sick, and when the prey is tired; then the predator devours the prey. This is what the enemy does to us, he sets up difficult circumstances to weaken us, and at the right time he tries to destroy us.

To keep from succumbing to the stresses in life, we have to stay close to the Lord Jesus. We must spend regular time in the Word of God. We must quiet our minds to hear His voice, and listen to His instructions concerning our lives. Write and journal what the Lord speaks to you, and your inner pain. Talk it over with a mature-Christian friend. Let it out, don’t keep it bottled-up inside. You’re not alone, countless others have gone through and experienced stressful situations.

We cannot have our stability and security with people, possessions, or positions. The only sure stability in this world is Jesus Christ. I would encourage you to keep your faith and trust in God, even if you have lost much in this life, for it is nothing to the place God is preparing in eternity. Allow the Lord to comfort you in all your distress. Work out your pain with God, cry out to Him, and tell Him how you feel. Don’t hold anything back, tell God exactly how you feel.

“When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19

He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock, when a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it because it was well built. Luke 6:48

Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

Stress Less by Don Colbert, M.D., a book on stress written by a Christian doctor.

Proven Antidotes for Stress, Anxiety and Fear

Are there things in your life that seem to constantly cause you stress, anxiety or fear?

Are you overwhelmed at times and find it difficult to sleep at night?

90% of what we worry about never really happens, so then why do we worry, stress and plagued by daunting fears? The enemy magnifies those difficult or trying circumstances in our lives, and when we take our eyes off of Jesus and onto these nagging problems we lose perspective. When our eyes are off the Helper, we can easily slip into stress, anxiety and fear. The enemy shows us worst-case scenarios and we begin speaking out what those scenarios look like, but watch out when you begin agreeing with what the enemy says about your circumstances. A lot of the times, the enemy throws one circumstance after another at us, hoping we will take the bait of at least one of them. There is a “wearing-out” the enemy deploys upon us. You may have felt super strong with the first, second, and maybe even the third difficult circumstance, but when they keep coming you better run to the throne of God quickly. When you feel yourself weakening and getting spiritually fatigued, it’s time to run quickly (even and especially if you don’t feel like it) to the feet of Jesus. These schemes diverted at you are not to be taken lightly or not taken seriously. We are never to fear our enemy, but we must know when we are beginning to get attacked.

Another way to know the enemy is trying to get you stirred-up is that you lose your peace and joy and you become restless, even stressed, anxious and fearful.

Random thoughts pop into your mind. You try and take every thought captive but there are so many thoughts coming you find it more and more difficult to gain a hold on the thoughts. When this happens recognize this is a scheme and a plan from the enemy and you must begin to cry out to God for His help.

There are some antidotes I use when I feel attacked, stressed, anxious and fearful. The prescription does not come in a bottle or pill but through the following:

______________________________________________________________________________

Antidotes for Stress:

Stop what you’re doing and go to the throne of God; don’t wait!

Trust God even if it looks big and out of control and your feelings say something else.

Rest in God alone and His help; don’t try and figure out the outcomes!

Evaluate if you are tired, hungry, or sick? If you are, you need to take care of those needs.

Sing, worship the Lord. You will feel a lift in your spirit and the enemy will have to flee!

Surrender all fear, worries, anxieties, and concerns to God; do not hold on to them!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Antidote for Anxiety:

Admit and confess you have been worrying and you don’t have all the answers.

Never give the enemy a foothold by speaking out what he shows you.

X-amine the reasons you are anxious and speak the truth over every anxious thought.

Identify the lies of the enemy concerning every anxious thought and replace immediately with the truth of God’s word.

Evaluate if all your anxiety and worrying is helping and changing things or making you sick, tired, and weak?

Turn your anxieties to God and give them to Him. Do not hold on to them!

Yearn to have a different life! You do not have to live with anxiety!

Antidotes for Fear:

Filter out all fears immediately. When fears come, pull them down, stop them, and replace with faith-filled statements, such as, “I will not live in fear.”

Entertain thoughts are lovely, of a good report, and praiseworthy.

Accept that you have a real enemy and you will have to be aggressive in your thought life.

Run to Jesus! Do not let the enemy terrorize you and cause you to have what-if fears.

To have peace and the joy of the Lord sometimes you have to fight, other times you have to be still until the attack has passed. Ask Jesus to show you what to do, but ask! If you are feeling those nagging thoughts of stress, anxiety or fear, take these antidotes and begin to apply them.

How to Effectively Cope with Change and Transition

 Many times when life takes a dramatic turn we initially feel displaced or out-of-sorts. Times of transition in our lives can cause disorientation, mental/physical fatigue, lowered immune system, sleeplessness, agitation, irritability, and fear.

What are some major life events that can change our lives? Moving, getting married, having a family member move in, job change, having a baby, school, and any type of loss.

Resisting change in the beginning is common because we are creatures of habit, and any changes in our routine can disrupt our order and flow of doing things. Take for instance having a baby, while it can be a joyous time to have a newborn; it can also bring disputed sleep, changes with spending time with your spouse, and limited personal time for self.

Usually for the first 21 to 30 days of transitioning to a new season in our lives it can be hectic, confusing and just plain tiring. After 21 to 30 days, we form new habits, and that is usually when the new changes begin to settle into our lives. Our lives at that point become more manageable and we begin to adapt to our new environments. Humans have an incredible ability to adapt to change, however, not all people adapt to change immediately. I do not do well with change, and my adaptation time can take a little longer. I am very routine, orderly and structured (very Type A). Type B personalities are more flexible and can more readily adapt to change. Be mindful that not everyone will immediately like change, and some may even resist it.

We can cope with change and transition a lot easier by:

1)      Taking it one day a time. Try not to jump ahead and figure out what next. One step at a time.

2)      Keeping a routine as much as possible. Make a new daily list of what needs to get accomplished for the day/week.

3)      Connect and plug into your power source-Jesus Christ. This cannot be underestimated. Spending daily time with God when you are going through changes can bring great comfort.

4)      Realize that the uncomfortableness of change will not last. Usually after 21 days adaptation to your new changes will occur if you do not resist the changes. If you resist and fight against the changes, it will take longer to adapt to them.

5)      Incorporate something that you did before the change, and try and implement this into your new schedule.

6)      Change can bring stress, so take care of your physical body and as well as your spirit by going to bed and getting up at the same time, eating well-balanced nutritious meals, exercising, and taking a good multi-vitamin.

7)      Stay connected to people that will encourage and support you during your time of changes such as family and friends. Having someone that you can talk with can serve as a buffer against the stress that comes with change.

8)      Try not to overload your schedule during the beginning of new changes. Keep your load light, as major changes can cause a decrease in energy levels. Rest when possible, and take it easy.

Changes and transitions will happen to all of us at some point in our lives. Not all changes would be considered bad, but even good changes like getting married can create stress. Letting the Holy Spirit guide you during times of changes in your life can make the difference between getting stuck or being able to successfully adapt.

I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand; I shall not be moved. Psalm 16:8

Have you had any recent changes in your life? If so, how are you coping with those changes?

Going Through Transitions Effectively

Adjustments and major transitions can be difficult, especially if you have problems with control. If something changes and you have an issue with control you can be easily side-swiped. It is important to take it one day at a time. You can’t say you will go here or do this tomorrow for certain because you do not know what will happen. When we have to make adjustments and transitions they will go a lot smoother if we realize that we have to hold our plans loosely and be ready for change.

A definition from Wikipedia.com for adjustment is regulating, adapting or settling in a variety of contexts. If you are not able to adjust easily to transitions and changes it will create disequilibrium and unbalance in your mind, body, and spirit. You will begin to feel stress in all of these areas. When an adjustment needs to be made, in the beginning you may feel some stress, but then you need to enter into the flow of the Spirit of God. That means seizing all control and outcomes of the situation and trusting that God has a plan and He will work it out for you good. It means stop trying to figure out why and instead remaining calm and peaceful. Sometimes adjustment periods can take a while to work out. For instance if you have a step family, or your teenage daughter is pregnant and needs help, or even divorce. All are considered a crisis and all can pose a threat to our well-being. Under stress our bodies will either fight or flight, that means stay and fight or run away. Fight or flight is usually seen in stressful or threatening circumstances. There may be a time to run, but from what I know of God He does not want us to stay running He wants us to rest and then get up and fight.

Taking it one day at a time is the only way to stay and fight in your situation of transition. If you decide to stay and fight you cannot project tomorrow’s fears and concerns. God gives you grace for each day, not stored up grace. So if you are living out on tomorrow’s grace, you will not survive the adjustment and transition period.

With any adjustment or major transition, eventually you will adapt and begin to learn new coping skills. It is amazing how God created us to cope and adapt in the most stressful of situations. So no matter what you are adjusting to, know that it is not permanent. Get up today, stop wallowing and having pity parties and say, “This too shall pass.” Nothing in life is ever permanent. As the seasons change, so does our lives. There is a season for everything. Though it may be painful and dark today, tomorrow is new and full of possibilities.

Rest in your adjustments and transitions. Hasah, is Hebrew for trust. It means taking refuge in God. Batah, means to have confidence in.

Hasah Batah, Trust, take refuge and have confidence in God.

And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today, at the latest, tomorrow, we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. Instead, make it a habit to say, “If the Master wills and we’re still alive, we’ll do this or that.”

James 4:13-15, Message

Healing from Unresolved Grief through Emotional Resiliency

Unresolved grief is different than normal grief. With grief there is closure eventually, such as with a death of a loved one, but with unresolved grief there is no closure. Over time, the unresolved grief may lessen but that does mean there has been a recovery from the loss. Some examples of unresolved grief could be having a child that is addicted to drugs or alcohol, an adult child that rejects their parents, infertility, having a missing family member or having a disabled child. Not being able to have closure can cause a host of mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Unresolved grief is complicated grief, in that there is a need to still keep hope alive but it also interrupts the mourning process. This can feel like a wound that never heals. As a mother of a prodigal child and having experienced unresolved grief after 10 years, I began searching for ways to heal effectively. At some point, I believed there was no hope and that I would continue to live in grief. I honestly do not believe that is God’s plan.

Unresolved grief can cause you to feel stuck and unable to move on with your life.

Unresolved grief affects current and future relationships. You begin protecting your heart from any further hurt, which means relationships suffer. Unresolved grief is usually at the root of fear about new relationships. One may also experience constant fear of loss, anger/cynicism, guarded emotions, helplessness, loss of identity and chronic depression. Issues need to be resolved before you can begin to have healthy relationships. You may need to write a letter to your loved one expressing how you feel, but then you may choose to burn that letter or bury it.

People who experience traumatic loss are more susceptible to developing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and can suffer from psychological stress.

Some symptoms of trauma related stress:

Nightmares, trouble sleeping, being on edge/easily alert, low energy, feeling depressed, memory problems, feeling overwhelmed by the smallest of tasks, feeling irritable/agitated, fearful of the future, feeling emotionally numb, withdrawn and disconnected, and relying on alcohol and drugs to ease the pain.

Healing from unresolved grief and any trauma related stress starts when we acknowledge the loss and accept the loss. Part of acceptance means letting go. Share your story with someone who you can trust, but then take it to God. Tell God exactly how you feel. Ask God to bring healing to your unresolved grief, and help with moving on with a new life. You are not betraying your loved one if you move on with your life, and it does not mean that you do not love them.

Pray that God gives you emotional resiliency.

Being resilient means to become strong, healthy or successful again after something bad happens (able to return to an original shape). Emotional resilience simple means being able to adapt to stressful situations or crisis.

Emotionally resilient people get knocked down, but they get back up quick. Emotional resilience can be learned, but I believe that Jesus can aid in that learning.

Emotional resilience is a must in dealing with unresolved grief.

Emotional resilience means that you accept that you cannot change your painful situation. Resilient people are characterized by an ability to experience both positive and negative emotions after a difficult or painful situation. Losses are mourned, but emotionally resilient people find the potential redeeming value in most challenges. Resilient people always find the silver lining in the most painful or difficult of circumstances.

When adversity strikes, focus on what you are thankful for, and this will boost your resiliency, and choose to focus on what is positive and good in your life. Taking regular breaks, nurturing, and taking care of yourself and doing things that you enjoy, regular exercise, laughing, being kind to others and yourself, social support, and continuing to learn, can help build resiliency as well.

You cannot control everything that comes at you, but you can control how you react to it.

Putting our hope in people, will almost always lead to disappointment, but placing our hope in Jesus will never disappoint.

The navy SEALs have a saying: “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.”

Learning to be uncomfortable at times instead of running and escaping will force you to learn from the situation that is causing you pain. Resilient people learn and grow from pain and challenges. Resilient people who need to survive the harshest situations and still accomplish goals (like POW’s, Special Forces units and Nazi holocaust survivors like Corrie ten Boom) balance a positive outlook with a realistic world view. Emotional resilient people do not remain focused on the negative, and they tend to rapidly disengage from problems that appear unsolvable. Emotional resilient people face their fears, they do not let fear overpower them.

PTSD was mentioned in this article, but someone can also experience the reverse: post-traumatic growth. Many people who experience hardships and get through them properly can come out stronger not weaker!