Counselor's Corner: Time to Move Forward and Get Unstuck from Your Past

Nothing can hinder you more than staying stuck in the past. You cannot move forward into the new season that God has for you until you make peace with your past. Making peace with your past includes forgiving yourself, forgiving the ones who have hurt you, letting go of false guilt, letting go of how things should be or could have been, and releasing every toxic memory of the past.

Moving forward means fresh start. All the old ways of thinking and doing things that did not work before are left behind. Your past had a purpose, you most likely now are stronger in your faith and commitment to Christ.

Continually bringing up the past, especially repeating memories that are harmful serves no purpose but to decrease your hope and your faith and to increase discouragement and depression. There is a time to go back into your past to heal your broken and wounded hearts, but when that stage of healing is over, you need to move forward so that you do not get stuck in past pain.

The enemy wants you stuck like quicksand in your hurtful past and painful memories? Why? Because you cannot live the life that Christ came to give you fully. Christ wants you living free and also joyfully. Yes, you are to enjoy your life to the fullest. How can you enjoy your life when you are bound to the past, reliving your past to anyone who will hear your sad stories as a way to gain pity. Christ does not want you pitiful but powerful. Stop focusing on the problems of the past, what did not work, who was not there, who you lost, or even why something happened.

Let God heal your brokenness and then begin to live again.

Reflect and ponder: Do you feel stuck in your past problems and old wounds and can’t seem to move forward in your life?

God does not want you to rehash, remember and replay your old wounds and past problems, He wants to heal your heart, set you free, and release you to move forward. Make peace with your past, it happened, and no matter how you wanted things to have turned out differently-they didn’t! Focusing on the past is a surefire way to keep you in bondage. Traumatic memories are very powerful, and they can keep you stuck in pain. Painful memories can throw your physiology out of balance and prevent you from experiencing the peace of the present moment. People who live in the past of painful memories cannot enjoy the present very well because they keep reliving what has hurt them. When you think about the negative aspects of your past, fear, dread, worry, discouragement and even depression can hold you captive. Bad memories have strong negative emotions attached to them, which triggers physical and chemical changes in your body. Every time a bad memory causes a stressful response it takes up to 36 hours for your body to rid the stress hormones. If your mind is constantly replaying bad memories, your body does not get a chance to return to its natural resting state and as a result your body stays geared-up.

Steps to moving forward:

1.      Take the necessary time to grieve. If you have had trauma in your life, you will need to get to the “roots” of your imbedded pain. Allow Jesus to begin to heal the “roots” that get uncovered. Acknowledge what has hurt you, and don’t use anything to numb your pain. When you have not processed your pain or trauma memories, your mind is concerned and will try and relive the memories with the hope of some type of resolution.

2.      Rewire your brain. If you have endured a crisis, a trauma or extended stressors; your brain needs to be rewired. Trauma has a negative impact on the brain, but you can daily start to repeat scriptures and positive truths that reflect the truth in God’s Word over your life. Rewiring your brain is simply replacing the memories of the trauma or wound with God’s Word.

3.      Make new goals, including short-term and long-term goals. Write out your goals.

4.      Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to forgive and to release everyone who has hurt you. Forgiveness is key to being able to move forward. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Forgiveness is done on your part, but reconciliation involves both parties with repentance at the core.

5.      Refocus on things that are positive and of a good report and the traumatic memories will eventually be filed away as over. This is where taking every thought captive into the obedience of Christ can be applied (2 Corinthians 10:5). As a painful memory tries to steal your current peace, refocus immediately on something that is positive. Do not dwell on the painful memory and especially don’t go back and try and figure out why something happened. What you are doing by refocusing your thoughts is essentially erasing the harmful memories to make way for positive memories and the ability to get unstuck.

6.      To stay moving forward, release and process painful events immediately. When you don’t release painful emotions regularly, they can get stuck and will eventually cause illness. Release pain as soon as possible in prayer, alone with God, or with a trusted, godly person.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

He restores my soul. Psalm 23:3

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness the prisoners. Isiah 61:1

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Out With the Old and in With the New

Ask God what old things need to be discarded in your life, and what new things He is wanting to bring into your life. Get alone with God and ask Him what you need to let go of.

You may have to get rid of the old before God can make room for the new. Some things no longer work for us, and we need to have wisdom to what those things are. If you are going to purchase a new car and your old car is still in the garage, how can you make room for that new car? Some will try and fit the new car with the old car, but why would you want to hold onto your old car if it no longer is working? Some of us need to stop holding onto to the things in our past, so that God can make room for the new things He is trying to bring to pass.

Reflect and Ponder: Ask yourself what is no longer working in your life? For example you want to go forward in your life and experience all that God has for you but you are still holding onto selfishness, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness or pride. Perhaps God is asking you to let go of worry and fear. Anything that could be hindering you from moving forward God very well may have you to remove these before preceding to what He has for you next. If you have gotten yourself into the habit of complaining, God may have you deal with this before experiencing your breakthrough or blessing that you have been waiting for.

Counselor’s Corner:

Before we can move into our new season we have to let go of the old first:

“Old what you may be asking?”

1.         Old attitudes that kept us in the “wilderness,” and moving into our “promised land.” These attitudes include: complaining, murmuring, fault-finding, covertness, thanklessness, and idolatry.

2.         Old mind-sets. Allowing our minds to think whatever it wants, and not taking every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). Thinking thoughts that are negative, faithless, and hopeless. Some of us have strongholds and lies that we have believed for years and need to be torn-down by renewing our minds in the Word of God.

3.         Holding onto the old things of the past. Some friendships, ministries, and possibly marriages did not succeed but when we hold onto these things and condemn ourselves repeatedly for our past mistakes we cannot move forward. Ask God to forgive you if you need to, and believe that God has forgiven you and that He does not want you dwelling in your past any longer. (Philippians 3:13-14).

Moving forward into our promised land will require “letting go” of former things. Former things that are no longer working for us, and possibly areas of sin in our lives that must be dealt with. It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing!

Isaiah 43:18

Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Jesus Christ.

Philippians 3: 14

If what you are doing in your life is not working, it is time to make some changes. The mental health definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Is it time for change?

Counselor’s Corner: Do You Need a Fresh Start?

Has life been challenging for you and you feel you need a do-over? You may have difficulties in every area of your life-relational, occupational, mental/emotional, and even spiritual. Your way of doing things is no longer working, but you don’t know what to do differently either to make things better. You have begged and pleaded with God to answer your prayers and yet He seems so silent at times.

Reflect and ponder: Is your life working for you? Do you need a fresh start in life, but you don’t know how to get that? Are you frustrated because you have tried to “hit the resend button” and instead of moving forward you go backwards?

Counselor’s Corner:

How to start fresh in your life:

1.      Stop begging and pleading with God about your situations, He has heard you. Instead, get up every morning and worship God and sit quietly before Him-just sit at His feet not trying to get God to answer your prayers. Yes, it is good to pray, but after sitting at His feet first and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to you first.

2.      Let God have the battle you are in. Rest in Papa God that He IS COMING THROUGH for you, maybe not when you think He should or how you think He should come through. After you have worshiped and given God the praise He deserves, sit back and relax and watch Him come through.

3.      Get rid of your to-do list for God! He wants a relationship with you above anything you could do for Him. Sit with Abba more and let Him love on you a lot! When you allow Abba to love on you, it will be so much easier to love on others. Know His love first! Your first priority is not serving more and doing more, but spending time with your Daddy!

4.      Renew your mind by disciplining your thought life. Take every thought captive into the obedience of Christ. Don’t let your mind agree with the thoughts of the enemy, you do not have to accept every thought as truth! Speak blessings over your life not curses. Speak blessings over your enemies.

5.      Release everyone who has hurt or offended you.

6.      Maintain peace at all times and in every situation. Divine peace is warfare! When you keep your peace, the enemy is confused. Confuse the enemy with your constant peace.

7.      Begin walking by faith and not by sight, and call into existence those things that are not as though they are.

8.      Forgive yourself, completely! God has forgiven you, so you must follow what God has done.

9.      Love yourself and begin to nurture yourself. Be good to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes and don’t condemn yourself for the past-it over, so move on! No more self-hate, self-condemnation, and no more living in past regrets.

10.  Humble yourself. Admit you can’t do anything without God and you need Him desperately. Keep a humble, gentle and peaceful spirit with all that you encounter, never let anyone cause you to react negatively (greater is He that is in you than he that is in this world). Let no one stir your emotions to anger, offense, irritation, or bitterness.

11.  Get rid of all complaining, murmuring, criticizing, faultfinding and negativity. Be thankful and grateful every day, instead of rehearsing your complaints try instead to say what your blessings are.

12.  Accept what has changed in your life. Your life may not have what it had years ago, but dwelling on what is missing will cause you stay stuck. Accept your life, not wanting someone else’s life. Stop all comparisons to others, your neighbors, your coworkers, your family, etc. Embrace fully who you are and accept yourself! Be content with the lot that you have been given.

13.  Laugh more, dance in the rain and stop to smell the roses-ENJOY the life that God has given you!

14.  Give over your reigns to Christ. He is in control and trust His ways are good and best for you. Let go of all control.

15.  Wipe your slate clean-no more rummaging through your past and torturing yourself with all your failures, only take with you into your fresh start what worked and was a success (leave everything else behind).

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit. I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26