Are You a Perfectionist? 12 Characteristics to Let You Know

For the perfectionist, nothing is never enough. The perfectionist is on a never-ending treadmill to never make a mistake, prove their worth and value, and never allow anyone to see their weaknesses. That sounds exhausting, and it is! Perfectionism can lead to all sorts of complications like depression, anxiety, stress, and alcoholism.

Perfectionist have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. The perfectionist is their worst own critic and judgmental to others. Usually, this tendency stems from a critical parent or other authority figure while growing up. The root of perfectionism is an unhealthy need for acceptance.

A perfectionist will seek to try and control variables and outcomes of their lives, seeking no room for any surprises. A perfectionist never wants to be caught unprepared. This is because the perfectionist needs to avoid any failure and mistakes.

12 characteristics of a perfectionist:

·        If you agree with most of the statements below, you may be a perfectionist.

1.      You are highly conscious and hyper-critical of making mistakes.

2.      You desire to be the best at everything you do.

3.      You see things through the “lenses” of black and white, with no grey areas.

4.      You are extremely critical of yourself. You can beat yourself up over the smallest mistakes.

5.      You over-analyze when things go wrong, and obsess over what you could have done differently.

6.      You only see the end result. You love to make goals but only if you can complete them all.

7.      You are very conscious of any situation where others may not perceive you as perfect.

8.      You think “all or nothing,” meaning if you cannot do something right; you will not do it at all.

9.      You hate any type of feedback or critical construction, unless it is all positive.

10.  You define yourself by your accomplishments. A perfectionist can never have enough degrees, titles, or accomplishments.

11.  You appear confident but you are actually afraid of failure.

12.  You believe if you do not succeed at a task, that you are a failure.

Could you identify with the above questions? If so, maybe today is the day that you ask Jesus to set you free of perfectionism.

Perfectionism stems from fear; fear that you may be seen with all your faults and weaknesses. Give yourself permission to fail and to have weaknesses. Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

If you are ready to overcome perfectionism, begin today sincerely praying this prayer:

Father,

You know my tendency to be a perfectionist. Please take away at the roots why I act this way. Help me to love myself, forgive myself, and to have weaknesses. Lord, help me to rest in being the best that I can be, but not try and compete or compare myself to others. I ask that I would no longer have unrealistic expectations of myself and others. Please heal and deliver me from perfectionism. In Jesus name, amen.

Conquering Automatic Negative Thoughts (A.N.T.s)

If your mind is filled with negative thinking, you will live a defeated life. Negativity is a by-product of how you perceive life. Your perceptions about your life and circumstances, greatly influence your thoughts. A lot of the times our perceptions about our lives are not realistic. We have unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others, this can cause us to have flawed perceptions. Flawed perceptions will invariably led to negative thinking.

Our thoughts usually are automatic. If you have been raised in a negative environment, it is likely you will struggle with or have struggled with negative thinking. If you have had a series of chronic, stress-related issues, it can be common to develop a negative mind-set, because of difficult circumstances. If you are around negative people frequently, their negativity can affect you. It is important that we are careful who we spend our time with. Negativity breeds negativity. Hang-out with positive, faith-filled people. It is also common if you are depressed, your thinking will be negative.

It is important to consider how we develop Automatic Negative Thought (A.N.T.s):

1.    From learned environments (the family you were raised in).

2.    Difficult circumstances that have overwhelmed you and caused you to feel hopeless.

3.    Negative influence (people who you hang around).

4.    Depression (medical or spiritual).

5.    How you perceive your life and circumstances (Do you see the cup half-empty or half-full?).

6.    Unrealistic expectations of yourself or others.

7.    A combination of any of the above.

Key Steps to Overcoming A.N.T.s:

  Take every thought captive. DO not allow yourself to entertain, ponder, or dwell on  negative thoughts.

 When negative thoughts come, say, “STOP,” out loud to retrain your brain to stop the  negative thoughts. If you are in public, you can say, “STOP” to yourself.

 Replace negative thoughts with positive, faith-filled thoughts. Confess God’s word over  the negative thoughts.

 Don’t give up! It takes usually between 21-30 days to form a new habit. Retraining your  brain does take time, but with the help of the Holy Spirit it can be done.  

  Know your weaknesses and be ready to respond in faith to them.

 If you are depressed and it is medical, consider talking to a holistic doctor/nutritionist  and take a supplement to build your serotonin levels (make sure the doctor/nutritionist  beliefs line-up with yours). If your depression is spiritual, find an intercessor, prayer  warrior to pray in agreement for your deliverance.

  If you have been devastated by your circumstance, start applying faith and hope again to  each difficult circumstance. We walk by faith, not sight.

 Let go of ALL expectations for yourself and others. Apply grace to yourself and   others.  Stop excepting people to be something they are not.

 Change your perceptions. How do you view your life? Be determined to see the “glass  half-full.” Pray and seek the Holy Spirit to help you overcome negative thinking.

 In the morning, when you arise, say, “This is the day the Lord has made and I will be glad  and rejoice in it.”

 Meditate on God’s word. Choose a scripture and roll it over your mind throughout the day.

Negativity is toxic to your mind, emotions, soul, and your physical body. Negativity will cause you to live discouraged, defeated, and depressed. Be determined to live victoriously and hopeful.

A.N.T.s that need to be squashed immediately:

·        Fear

·        Anxiety

·        Worry

·        Hopeless

·        Discouraged

·        Defeated

·        Critical

·        Judgmental/fault-finding

·        Complaining/murmuring

·        Jealousy/envious/comparing

·        Perfectionism

·        Self-hate/condemnation/guilt/shame

·        Offense/bitterness/unforgiveness

·        Discontentment

Positive Confessions. Confess God’s Word over your life daily.

1.    By His stripes I am healed. Isaiah 53:5

2.    The Son has made me free. I possess absolute freedom. John 8:36

3.    The love of God is shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit. I have the ability to love everyone. Romans 5:5

4.    I can do all things through Christ who strengths me. Philippians 4:13

5.    God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

6.    Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4

7.    Casting all my cares upon Him, who cares for me. 1 Peter 5:7

8.    There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

9.    I have learned, in whatsoever state (circumstance) I am, to be content. Philippians 4:11

Bible Verses on Positive Thinking:

·        Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how to answer every man. Colossians 4:8

·        Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but which is good to the use of edify, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

·        Refute arguments and theories and reasonings and lofty things that sets itself up against the true knowledge of God; and lead every thought captive into the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3

·        Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

·        Don’t be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God. Philippians 4:6

·        Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

·        Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat of its fruits. Proverbs 18:21

Change your thoughts and change your life.

For additional reading on overcoming negative thinking, you can order a copy of the author's book, Wilderness Mentality Stop your Stinkin' Thinkin' from www.createspace.com/4036785