Counselor's Corner: When You Feel Pressure

→Pressure means to squeeze out or to apply a weight on something.

There is good pressure and there is bad pressure. Good pressure causes you to move, change, or to grow for the better, such as the pressure you feel when you are in college. Bad pressure usually comes straight from the kingdom of darkness, and causes you to feel like you are going to snap, such as when you are dealing with the burdens of others because they don’t carry their own weight.

→Pressure that comes from the enemy will wear you down until you break or give into sin.

Signs that the pressure you are experiencing is from the enemy:

1)      You are not sleeping well, and perhaps having nightmares.

2)      You do not feel at peace, maybe restless even.

3)      Headaches that are unusual and/or fatigue, or feeling unwell.

4)      You have “brain fog” and cannot concentrate or stay focused.

5)      Feeling “off” but can’t put your finger on why.

·         If most of the above symptoms occur with added outside annoyances, distractions, and concerning situations that arise then you can rest assured you are experiencing pressure from the enemy to lose your peace, your joy, and eventually snap.

→Reflect:

If you have had one of those days or weeks where you have endured most the above signs and you do lose your cool, don’t condemn yourself but step back and be still with God. Don’t beat yourself up, be aware of the pressure that has tried to get you to break. Forgive yourself and if you did sin ask God to forgive you and He will.

When you feel the kind of pressure that causes you to be on edge, stressed, not able to focus, irritable, annoyed, and frustrated go to the Lord immediately and ask for His protection and deliverance from the pressure tactics the enemy is using to wear you down. The enemy can also use people to cause you to feel pressure as the enemy hopes you will wear down and give into what the enemy wants. This kind of pressure never comes from God.

When God leads you to something He will do so gently, you will have peace, and you will not be annoyed or irritated.

→Meditate:

Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:5-6, ESV

Word of Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner: Cast your Cares on God

I have been having difficulty falling asleep at night. I am waking up tired and feeling unrested. The Lord brought to my attention that I am carrying many heavy burdens. Over the recent weeks it seems the enemy has done his best at dumping piles of garbage on me. I was okay with the first load he dumped on me, but then the loads become more frequent and heavier, pretty soon I was feeling weighted down. I did not mean for this to happen, but if we are not careful we can be caught off guard and entrapped by the snare of the enemy.

Have you ever had one of those days, weeks or even months where it just seems to be one thing after another? Pretty soon it can feel as if we are drowning in a sea of trouble. This is exactly what the enemy wants! When we begin to feel burdened, heavy, or weighted down by troubles; you can rest assure it is the enemy behind it. If we feel uneasy, restless or have waves of anxiety we are being bombarded with tactics from the enemy to keep us from God’s prefect peace. We cannot have peace if we are under constant fear. The enemy will bring worst case scenarios to our minds and he often uses people to bring bad reports to us. Has anyone ever dumped on you their garbage and you leave feeling just as burdened as they were? This is a disguise by the enemy to use someone else to elicit fear into our souls. Other times we can just be burdened by carrying life’s pain and difficult circumstances.

Are we supposed to carry others burdens? No, if we do we are surely going to experience waves of anxiety, stress, and fear. We will also become physically sick if we carry burdens that we were not meant to carry. I know that you may be thinking, I can’t help carrying the burdens of others. If other people hurt, I hurt too! If others suffer than I cannot enjoy my life either. There is a difference in having compassion for others and CARRYING their burdens. We can have compassion for others by praying for them, listening to them, and intervening ONLY as the Holy Spirit directs.

Sometimes we can have a false sense of responsibility for others, this is usually seen in individuals who have come from a family where they had to take the lead or be the responsible one. We can have a false sense of taking care of others, and believe we are responsible for ALL other’s needs. Just because a need is presented to us does not mean it is ours to pick up. You will know when the Holy Spirit prompts you to do something for someone else, it NEVER will be forced, manipulated, or because of any guilt. If you ever hear thoughts like, “You should be doing that or if you don’t help no one else will,” that is the enemy directing you. God directs and leads with gentle promptings or a peace that you will get. You will never have to figure out how to help someone if God is directing, because He will show you.

Rest and let go of ALL that you are carrying that has caused you to be downcast. If you have not been experiencing God’s joy and His peace, ask yourself what you are carrying that has become a heavy load? What do you need to drop off at the feet of Jesus so that you can feel light again? Perhaps it’s the cares of your family, sickness, or a prodigal child. Whatever it is, we were never meant to be in a continually state of heaviness.

What are you carrying that you need to leave at Jesus’ feet?

Cast you cares on God and He will sustain you. Psalm 55:22

Word of Encouragement from the Counselor’s Corner: When Carrying the Burdens of Others Becomes Heavy

Most are familiar with the scripture from Galatians 6:2,”Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. “But what happens when this is out of balance, or you have a very tender heart and carrying other’s burdens makes you feel heavy?

 I thought it was my “Christian duty” to help, listen, and provide emotional support to WHOEVER needed it and WHENEVER they needed it. But, I was drowning while I was trying to uphold the burdens of everyone else. Burden bearers are sensitive people and can perceive the emotional distress and pain of others, they often “carry” the weight of what is being told to them. They also have a misunderstanding of the scripture form Galatians 6:2, and take that scripture to mean at all costs!

I am naturally a helper and I will give you all of myself even if I have nothing left to give. However, I realized some things, “Does God really want us to carry the burdens of everyone until we are sick or heavy emotionally?” I came to the conclusion that for me to maintain proper health, I could no longer do what I did before. There had to be changes to be made.

 I have learned to limit my time talking with people on the phone or in person, to save energy and boundaries with my time. I used to talk with people for hours, usually about their problems and needs. But now I limit how long I speak to others. I have limits and boundaries on my time, before I had none. If someone wanted to meet me to talk or to have lunch, I would find myself there with them all day, while they laid their cares upon me. People can usually sense when you are tender, caring, compassionate, and a good listener, and some WILL take advantage of that. Now, I will listen for a short time, and then offer to pray immediately. I have learned that sometimes talking it all out with someone drains me emotionally, but praying with them does not. I have also learned that sometimes others have to carry their own loads and be responsible for their lives. I cannot take responsibly for the actions of others. Sometimes, I do well in just carrying my own load, much less the loads of others. I have also learned that everything I hear or are exposed to, that I surrender it immediately to God. Then I wait on God, to tell me to what to do. Sometimes, it is simply to just intercede in prayer. I am learning not to feel the crushing weight that I do when I know someone is in pain or in trouble. How? By praying continually for relief and for their situation. I also ask God to cover me and shield me from all demonic exposure and false responsibly and heavy burdens.

 I am certain God does not want us carrying the burdens of others until we are wiped-out physically, mentally or spiritually.

We can listen to others, but don’t allow them to consume all your energy and time. If someone is going through a crisis, of course, you may give a little more of your time; such as when someone experiences a death. But when the same person, with the same problems wants to continually talk, and talk, and talk and deplete you of your energy; it’s time to put limits.

There are some people who are used by the enemy to wear you out and bankrupt you emotionally and spiritually. Ask yourself how you feel after you speak with them or are around them?

You will know because they have the SAME problems, they really don’t listen to anything you say to them, and you feel heavy, burdened, and exhausted after speaking with them.

Reflection Questions: What changes do you believe God is asking of you to enjoy your life and not be riddled with false guilt and heavy burdens of others?  Do you believe taking care of yourself is important? How is your emotional health? Physical health? Spiritual health? Do you tend to go around the “same mountains” with the same people? Is it time to release your loved ones to the only One who can help?

When Carrying the Burdens of Others Becomes Heavy

This is what it feels like, when we carry other's burdens. 

Most are familiar with the scripture from Galatians 6:2,”Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. “But what happens when this is out of balance, or you have a very tender heart and carrying other’s burdens makes you feel heavy? For the last several years, I have undergone many emotional and trying times. Previously, I was the “burden bearer” for everyone in my family, with my friends, and with my ministry. However, carrying the loads of everyone while I was undergoing massive upheaval began to weigh me down physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I thought it was my “Christian duty” to help, listen, and provide emotional support to WHOEVER needed it and WHENEVER they needed it. But, I was drowning while I was trying to uphold the burdens of everyone else. Burden bearers are sensitive people and can perceive the emotional distress and pain of others, they often “carry” the weight of what is being told to them. They also have a misunderstanding of the scripture form Galatians 6:2, and take that scripture to mean at all costs!

After going on for years carrying the burdens of others and feeling the weight of everyone’s load, I collapsed. I was exhausted and burned out on helping others. I could not go not one more step, and was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue (this is caused from high levels of stress). I realized my “cup was now completely empty” and I was running on “fumes.” I had to pull back and take over a year to rest and get well, which means I literally had to stop helping! I am naturally a helper and I will give you all of myself even if I have nothing left to give. But during the last year of recovery, I realized some things, “Does God really want us to carry the burdens of everyone until we are sick or heavy emotionally?” I came to the conclusion that for me to maintain proper health, I could no longer do what I did before. There had to be changes to be made.

 I am a great listener, and even have over 17 years of experience as a counselor, but I could no longer endure the daily grind of listening to everyone’s issues and carrying their burdens. So, I made the change of becoming a writer instead. I use all of my counseling experience as well as my personal experience to help people, without the burden of listening day in and day out of consuming problems that I would carry. Yes, I would give them to the Lord and pray, but somehow, I would think about their problems and really “feel” their pain. I tried not to, but I just could not do it. I get so invested in the lives of others. I also made a decision to start painting with my husband for therapy as well as start a small business with him selling our work. 

I have learned to limit my time talking with people on the phone or in person, to save energy and boundaries with my time. I used to talk with people for hours, usually about their problems and needs. But now I limit how long I speak to others. I have limits and boundaries on my time, before I had none. If someone wanted to meet me to talk or to have lunch, I would find myself there with them all day, while they laid their cares upon me. People can usually sense when you are tender, caring, compassionate, and a good listener, and some WILL take advantage of that. Now, I will listen for a short time, and then offer to pray immediately. I have learned that sometimes talking it all out with someone drains me emotionally, but praying with them does not. I have also learned that sometimes others have to carry their own loads and be responsible for their lives. I cannot take responsibly for the actions of others. Sometimes, I do well in just carrying my own load, much less the loads of others. I have also learned that everything I hear or are exposed to, that I surrender it immediately to God. Then I wait on God, to tell me to what to do. Sometimes, it is simply to just intercede in prayer. I am learning not to feel the crushing weight that I do when I know someone is in pain or in trouble. How? By praying continually for relief and for their situation. I also ask God to cover me and shield me from all demonic exposure and false responsibly and heavy burdens. I am certain God does not want us carrying the burdens of others until we are wiped-out.

We can listen to others, but don’t allow them to consume all your energy and time. If someone is going through a crisis, of course, you may give a little more of your time; such as when someone experiences a death. But when the same person, with the same problems wants to continually talk, and talk, and talk and deplete you of your energy; it’s time to put limits. There are some people who are used by the enemy to wear you out and bankrupt you emotionally and spiritually. You will know because they have the SAME problems, they really don’t listen to anything you say to them, and you feel heavy, burdened, and exhausted after speaking with them.