Counselor's Corner: Having Enough Determination to Succeed and Overcome in Life

Do you know what kind of determination it takes to succeed and be an overcomer in life?

►First, let’s define what determination is: the act of deciding definitely and firmly; firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end.

►Second, what does it mean to be an overcomer? One who succeeds in dealing with or gaining control of some problem or difficulty.

To have the kind of determination to succeed in life and be an overcomer one must decide to firmly fix their attention on their desired goals in life, and rise above challenges that may hinder complete victory.

Having determination means:

·         Staying focused on your goals

·         Delaying gratification like rewarding yourself after not before you achieve a desired outcome

·         Facing fears and overcoming them

·         Learning from mistakes made in the past and not repeating them

·         Are able to ignore the things you have no control over

·         Never whining or complaining about problems

·         Eliminate negative thinking

·         Continuing to move forward in spite of opposition and challenges

·         Not making excuses and blaming others for your situation

Having determination will help you succeed in life and will move you towards becoming an overcomer with life’s challenges. A person of determination never gives up, goes back, or quits. An overcomer has gained victory over areas in their lives that could have the potential to derail, hinder and even prevent success. Overcomers have mastered their fleshly appetites such as addiction, greed and sexual immorality, and have learned how to conqueror the enemy. To be successful not just in worldly pursuits but for the Kingdom of Christ you will need to be determined and an overcomer. Overcomers have endured the affliction of the “furnace” and come forth as “pure gold.”

Counselor’s Corner: Beginning Again: Out With the Old and in With the New

Before you can move into your new season you have to let go of the old first.

“Old what you may be asking?”

1.      Old attitudes that keep you in the “wilderness,” and moving into your “promised land.” These attitudes include: complaining, murmuring, fault-finding, covertness, thanklessness, self-pity, blaming others, being a victim of your circumstances, and idolatry (placing anything ahead of God).

2.      Old mind-sets. Allowing your minds to think whatever it wants, and not taking every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). Thinking thoughts that are negative, faithless, and hopeless. Some of you have strongholds and lies that you have believed for years and need to be torn-down by renewing your minds in the Word of God.

3.      Holding onto the old things of the past. Some friendships, ministries, and possibly marriages did not succeed but when we hold onto these things and condemn ourselves repeatedly for our past mistakes we cannot move forward. Ask God to forgive you if you need to, and believe that God has forgiven you and that He does not want you dwelling in your past any longer. (Philippians 3:13-14).

4.      Living in cycles of defeat and hopelessness. Believe in this new season you will be victorious and an overcomer in every situation. Begin to believe the best about yourself and others.

5.      Get comfortable with not fitting in with the crowd and being different. Stop allowing yourself to be consumed by what people think of you. In this new season care more about what God thinks of you.

Moving forward into your promised land will require “letting go” of former things. Former things that are no longer working for you, and possibly areas of sin in your lives that must be dealt with.

Ask yourself what is no longer working in your life?

For example you want to go forward in your life and experience all that God has for you but you are still holding onto selfishness and pride. Perhaps God is asking you to let go of worry and fear. Anything that could be hindering you from moving forward God very well may have you to remove these before preceding to what He has for you next. If you have gotten yourself into the habit of complaining, God may have you deal with this before experiencing your breakthrough or blessing that you have been waiting for.

Ask God what old things need to be discarded in your life, and what new things He is wanting to bring into your life. You may have to get rid of the old before God can make room for the new. Some things no longer work for us, and we need to have wisdom to what those things are. If you are going to purchase a new car and your old car is still in the garage, how can you make room for that new car? Some will try and fit the new car with the old car, but why would you want to hold onto your old car if it no longer is working? Some of us need to stop holding onto to the things in our past, so that God can make room for the new things He is trying to bring to pass.

If what you are doing in your life is not working, it is time to make some changes. The mental health definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Is it time for change?

Counselor’s Corner: Overcoming the Victim Mentality and Becoming a Victor

Successful people are rarely victims. Victims by definition are people who do not acknowledge responsibility for their actions and who blame outside forces. Victims have a poor me attitude and wallow in self-pity. Victims feel that others are against them and that is the cause of their unhappiness. Victims portray themselves as unfortunates who need rescuing.

If you have a history of helping or fixing others, you will attract victims! Victims will drain you with their endless stories of how others have wronged them, and how they can never catch a break. Victims will cause you to burn out by their constant neediness. Victims do not want to discuss solutions to their problems, but will exhaust you to no-end with repeatedly blaming others for their misery.

Having a victim mentality is a learned behavior that usually begins in early childhood. Those with a victim mentality have difficulty expressing and processing negative emotions. Victims have a core belief that life is out of their control, and this results in hopelessness and helplessness. Victims will blame any and every scapegoat such as circumstances or other people. Victims often live in one crisis after another, and never see their part in the crisis. A person with a victim mentality does not make any effort to learn from their mistakes, and that others actions excuse them from taking responsibility.

Reflect and ponder: Do you know someone with a victim mentality or do you struggle with being a victim of your circumstances?

Counselor’s Corner:

Becoming a victor instead of a victim:

1.      Take responsibility for every action and circumstance in your life-you may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control your responses. When you embrace this attitude, life’s circumstances will no longer control you because you are free to choose how you will respond.

2.      Do not surrender power over your life to others. In other words do not let your life be driven by your environment but by your inner attitude that you get to choose.

3.      Understand the world owes you nothing, and believing you have certain “rights” will lead to disappointment and anger.

4.      If you are ready to move on with your life and get unstuck you must stop blaming others for your woes. When you blame others, you leave yourself powerless.

5.      Recognize that from time to time you may feel sorry for yourself, just don’t camp there! Everyone will face challenges in life, but don’t go sit in a corner and “nurse your wounds” over and over.

6.      Start looking for the good in the situations that cause you to complain or to blame. Take your power back! Don’t give any person or circumstance that much control.

As children of a sovereign God, we are never victims of our circumstances.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

I loathe my own life; I will give full vent to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. Job 10:1

You said, “Ah, woe is me!” For the Lord has added sorrow to my pain; I am weary with my groaning and have found no rest!” Jeremiah 45:3