Counselor's Corner: Be Intentional About Focusing on What is Good, Lovely and Praiseworthy

Perhaps you’re not like me and don’t have any trouble with negative thoughts, I however, struggle more often than I would like to with “stinkin’ thinkin.” Many times, I wake-up to a battle going on in mind, a battle of me thinking thoughts of defeat and discouragement. We all know the battlefield is in our minds, and that satan can make suggestions to us that seem ever-so real. We take the bait, and before long we are agreeing with the lies of our adversary. I have to get up intentionally focused on setting my first hour I awaken with the Lord, if I don’t, I am prone to having thoughts of anxiety, fear, and discouragement. There are those times that no matter how intentional I am my thoughts are dark and I can’t seem to turn those thoughts around. At those times I must step back and evaluate are there any “roots” to my thinking, and have I been spending time in God’s presence.

Negative thoughts can consume our daily lives, and eventually cause harm to us physically, mentally and spiritually. We must learn to train our minds by disciplining our thoughts.

Many of our issues can be stemmed from our thoughts. Thoughts precede behavior. If you feel depressed, check your line of thinking first. Of course, not all depression is caused by your thinking, but even if there is an imbalance in the brain you will still need to control your thoughts in addition to counseling and/or medication.

Push past how you feel and be intentional about focusing on what is good, what is lovely and what is praiseworthy. You very likely won’t feel like thinking good thoughts all the time, but do it anyways and you eventually will feel like it.

Negative thinking often stems from hurt, pain, disappointments, unfulfilled dreams, anger, and hope deferred. Get to the issues of what is causing your negative thinking. Write it out, talk it out and pray about what is causing you to see life through a damaged filter. Daily practice gratitude by writing or saying aloud at least (5) things that you are thankful for. Gratitude will decrease negative thinking.

When a thought comes that is negative, ask yourself is this lovely, praiseworthy or good? If not, replace that thought with what God would say. You’re not denying difficulties in life, but choosing not to focus solely on the wrong. An example would be, “It’s raining again, my outdoor plans are ruined but my flowers and grass are being watered.”

►For additional information on how you can discipline your mind, check out my latest book release, “Disciplining your mind, 30 days to a better you.”

Out With the Old and in With the New

Before we can move into our new season we have to let go of the old first.

“Old what you may be asking?”

1.      Old attitudes that kept us in the “wilderness,” and moving into our “promised land.” These attitudes include: complaining, murmuring, fault-finding, covertness, thanklessness, and idolatry.

2.      Old mind-sets. Allowing our minds to think whatever it wants, and not taking every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). Thinking thoughts that are negative, faithless, and hopeless. Some of us have strongholds and lies that we have believed for years and need to be torn-down by renewing our minds in the Word of God.

3.      Holding onto the old things of the past. Some friendships, ministries, and possibly marriages did not succeed but when we hold onto these things and condemn ourselves repeatedly for our past mistakes we cannot move forward. Ask God to forgive you if you need to, and believe that God has forgiven you and that He does not want you dwelling in your past any longer. (Philippians 3:13-14).

Moving forward into our promised land will require “letting go” of former things. Former things that are no longer working for us, and possibly areas of sin in our lives that must be dealt with.

Ask yourself what is no longer working in your life? For example you want to go forward in your life and experience all that God has for you but you are still holding onto selfishness and pride. Perhaps God is asking you to let go of worry and fear. Anything that could be hindering you from moving forward God very well may have you to remove these before preceding to what He has for you next. If you have gotten yourself into the habit of complaining, God may have you deal with this before experiencing your breakthrough or blessing that you have been waiting for.

Ask God what old things need to be discarded in your life, and what new things He is wanting to bring into your life. You may have to get rid of the old before God can make room for the new. Some things no longer work for us, and we need to have wisdom to what those things are. If you are going to purchase a new car and your old car is still in the garage, how can you make room for that new car? Some will try and fit the new car with the old car, but why would you want to hold onto your old car if it no longer is working? Some of us need to stop holding onto to the things in our past, so that God can make room for the new things He is trying to bring to pass.

If what you are doing in your life is not working, it is time to make some changes. The mental health definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Is it time for change?

For additional reading on this topic, “Wilderness Mentality Stop Your Stinkin’ Thinkin’” can be ordered at www.createspace.com/4036785.

7 things to do When You are disappointed

A relationship does not work out, a job does not go through, or your prodigal child that you have been praying for does not seem to leave their rebellious life. We all have experienced times of disappointment, and it is a normal part of life. What is important to know is that if disappointment is not dealt with, it can eventually lead to depression. This is a scheme from the enemy. Something you really wanted does not work out, you dwell on why it did not work out, and eventually you begin to feel depressed. Your thoughts will always follow your behavior.

7 Things to do when you feel disappointed:

1.     Consider that what may have not worked out could be God’s doing. Perhaps, He was protecting you from something you did not even know about.

2.     Go before God and ask Him to help you deal with your disappointment, and to show you the truth.

3.    Take every thought captive. Do not let your mind wander and think whatever it wants. When something disappointing has happened in your life it is natural to want to feel sorry for yourself or even think about it endlessly, but do not go there! IT IS A TRAP THAT WILL LEAD TO DEPRESSION.

4.    Do not feel sorry for yourself and “lick your wounds.” Go to God and tell Him how you feel and then release the need to feel sorry for what has happened to you.

5.   Realize that everyone, not just you, will have times that things disappoint them. It is what you do with the disappointment that will make the difference.

6.     Get up again. Shake it off. Cry if you need to, but then move on! That may sound harsh, but it is not. The enemy would love for you to “camp out” in your disappointment. He hopes you will stay a while so that it will develop into total despair.

7.    Sit at Jesus’ feet as long as you need to for Him to speak to you and lift off whatever is causing you to feel disappointed.

All kinds of discouraging encounters can happen to us. When they seem to pile-up on us, that is when we need to be most aware. One disappointment in our lives can be tough, but when a series of disappointments come at us, that can paralyzing if we are not careful. Recognize those times in your life when it seems that one thing after another is occurring in your life to bring you discouragement. Discouragement is always rooted from the pits of hell, and is never originated from God. Check the source, is it God bringing discouragement or the enemy? Think about where you are at in your life that so much discouragement is coming your way. It is always a set-up to defeat you.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1.      Are you getting free from some sin area in your life, or have completely been set-free from some  long-term sin in your life?

2.      Are you standing for the truth in God’s Word?

3.      Are you using your life to better the Kingdom of God?

4.      Have you recently given your testimony somewhere?

Answering yes to any of the above questions could be a very good indicator why so much discouragement has come your way. Ask God to show you. Keep moving forward, do not stop and look at all what has gone wrong, and resist the enemy and he will flee from you. Worshiping and praising God will lift off feelings of discouragement. Keeping things in perspective as well as counting all that is a blessing in your life will help.

What about you? How do you deal with disappointment in your life? Share your story, leave a comment. Others will be blessed by your words.  Thank you and may God bless you!