Daily Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner by Stephanie R. Reck, LMSW, LBT, BCCC

January 23, 2017

The Lord is a Creative God

As I am looking outside today I see the brilliance of all the distinct birds coming to eat at my bird feeder this morning. One of the birds was a golden finch, I don’t know if you have ever seen a golden finch before but all I can say is wow! I saw a little chickadee bird as well, their tiny body and beautiful stripped black and grey heads are magnificent. Did I forget to mention the peaceful mourning dove that was sitting on a perch on my pear tree?

On Saturday, as I was walking my neighborhood, a westerly thunderstorm was approaching but from the east a most stunning rainbow caught my eye. I am always in such awe of God’s creativity through His creation. Our God is such a creative God. If you don’t think so then the next time you see a sunrise or a sunset think about the creativity God has to generate for such glorious displays for us to enjoy.

Reflect and ponder: What are you waiting to do that you need God’s creativity for? Perhaps start that book you have been putting off, start a daily devotional with others on your Facebook page, at work with a new project or maybe rearranging your furniture. Whatever you need creativity for, God can give it to you.

God is amazing in how He provides creativity, things that you would never think about God can give you His insights. God can cause you to unleash hidden gems and treasures you did not even think that you had!

Counselor’s advice: Ask God today to release His creativity to you. Ask God to remove whatever hinders you from being creativity such as depression, discouragement, weariness/exhaustion, false guilt, worry or anxiety. These will zap all the creativity from you. Be set free today of all hindrances that come against your creativity. God has something that He wants you to accomplish, and He needs to be able to download His designs to you without anything obstructing His plans.

Being out in nature or among nature can increase YOUR CREATIVITY!

God can make all things new again, even the dull, dead and dry relationships, career, ministry, life purposes and yes even your old-boring furniture! HE CAN MAKE THEM NEW AGAIN BURSTING FORTH WITH NEW LIFE AND VITALITY.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

God CREATED man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He CREATED them. Genesis 1:27

The heavens are telling of the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hand. Psalm 19:1

Stress and Exhaustion

Life can be tough, and at times overwhelming. One of the main things that I hear Christians say is, “I am so stressed and exhausted.” There is no doubt the enemy has launched his attacks against Christians.

Some Christians are falling away from their faith because of the stresses of life that have crushed them. Then, there are Christians who are growing closer and deeper to God as the world around them ensues in chaos and turmoil.

There is a war, a spiritual war being waged against Christians in these last days. I believe the enemy is assaulting Christians with circumstances that are gut-wrenching. How many Christians do you know are battling with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, troubled family and marriages, and financial difficulties?

Stress is caused by a perceived unmanageable set of circumstances that are out of our control.

Stress makes you physically tired, irritable, frustrated, can lead to depression, anger, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues. Stress can lower your immune system, cause ulcers, gastrointestinal problems, high blood pressure, and insomnia. People who are under stress usually isolate themselves. If you are tired and sick the enemy is “setting you up,” as the enemy being the predator and you being the prey. As in the wild, a predator stalks its prey and watches until it gets alone, possibly injured or sick, and when the prey is tired; then the predator devours the prey. This is what the enemy does to us, he sets up difficult circumstances to weaken us, and at the right time he tries to destroy us.

To keep from succumbing to the stresses in life, we have to stay close to the Lord Jesus. We must spend regular time in the Word of God. We must quiet our minds to hear His voice, and listen to His instructions concerning our lives. Write and journal what the Lord speaks to you, and your inner pain. Talk it over with a mature-Christian friend. Let it out, don’t keep it bottled-up inside. You’re not alone, countless others have gone through and experienced stressful situations.

We cannot have our stability and security with people, possessions, or positions. The only sure stability in this world is Jesus Christ. I would encourage you to keep your faith and trust in God, even if you have lost much in this life, for it is nothing to the place God is preparing in eternity. Allow the Lord to comfort you in all your distress. Work out your pain with God, cry out to Him, and tell Him how you feel. Don’t hold anything back, tell God exactly how you feel.

“When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19

He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock, when a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it because it was well built. Luke 6:48

Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

Stress Less by Don Colbert, M.D., a book on stress written by a Christian doctor.

Are You Emotionally Bankrupt?

Bankrupt means that you lack something. To be emotionally bankrupt means that you have given out to others and need to be refilled back up, or it can refer to going through multiple stressful events and you feel emotionally exhausted. Either situation, you are emotionally bankrupt. Is it wise to continue the pace you are going if you are depleted? No, it is not. It is time to pull back from what is causing this deficit in your life, or if you are surrounded by continual stressors in your life; you still need to find some time to get alone with yourself and God.

If you are empty inside you cannot truly help others, and you could possible hurt yourself or the one you are trying to help. Sometimes, we have to let God pour into our “empty cups,” again. If you are in ministry, have dysfunctional, unhealthy family, or are in a helping profession, there will be times you will need refreshing and time alone with God. It is not only okay to do so, but healthy emotionally, physically, and spiritually. There must be balance in your life to maintain health. If you are pouring out to others all the time, and never take time to get filled back up; all of your energy will be consumed. If you are not hearing from the Lord, you could possibly be operating in your flesh and not the Spirit of God.

What are some signs of being emotionally bankrupt?

1.      Exhaustion, tired more than you feel rested.

2.      Irritable, easily frustrated or provoked.

3.      Easily offended.

4.      Discouraged and possibly depressed.

5.      Anxious and worried.

6.      Forgetful.

7.      Feel physically worn-down, and weakened immune system.

8.      Cannot settle down, mind is racing constantly.

9.      Difficulty sleeping at night or wanting to sleep more.

10.  Lack of peace and joy.

11.  Not interested in activities with others. May even isolate.

What can you do if you are emotionally bankrupt?

1.      Rest when needed.

2.      Refresh with time alone with God.

3.      Read from the book of Psalms in the Bible when you need to recharge.

4.      Refocus on the things of God, not the circumstances.

5.      Reexamine the things in your life that are causing constant stress.

6.      Reach out to someone you can trust and allow them to pray for you.

7.      Reconsider cutting down or back the things that are unhealthy in your life.

8.      Renew your mind. Take every thought captive. Don’t allow your mind to be used as a garbage dump by the enemy during stressful times.

9.      Rejuvenate by taking warm baths to relax tired muscles.

10.  Relax and do something just for you; have fun.

11.  Recharge your body by eating healthy when we you can, staying away from foods that will deplete your energy, drinking green tea (has lots of antioxidants), walking, and taking a multi-vitamin.

There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Hebrews 4:9-10

Reconnect and Rebalance with God the Father

Sometimes our lives get so hectic and busy that we unplug from our power source, Jesus Christ. This is not always intentional, life takes over sometimes and before you know it our relationship with God has been put on the back-burner. Distractions do come into or lives, and some do not appear bad. When we come out of the flow of the Holy Spirit, and start doing things in our own strength, we will become agitated, frustrated, and we will lose our peace.

Reconnect and rebalance with God the Father. His burdens are not heavy. He will give you rest.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and distracted by circumstances, it’s time to reconnect with the Holy Spirit. Many things come into our lives that can take our focus off Jesus and His ways. Jesus brings peace, refreshment, joy, and love. When we get out of balance we may become anxious, worried, fearful, and begin to gaze at our circumstances. This life is not easy and sometimes we get distracted with life’s problems and concerns. If we are honest, there is a lot we can get distracted about.

God may be calling you to step away from the distractions, the turmoil, the confusion, and just focus on Him. You might feel going to church is enough to recharge you, but it is not. You need to spend time with Jesus yourself. Church can and does help, but it is simply not enough. We need to hear from God and we need to come away from all that distracts us to hear Him. We must get still and be still to hear His voice. You may need to lay some things down at Jesus’ feet and surrender all that concerns you. You may need to step away from the “crowds,” and listen for Jesus to speak to you. If the enemy can get you distracted, you cannot hear God as clearly. You may be doing many good things for others, but if you are not communing with God regularly and replenishing with God, you will get out of balance. Distractions keep us busy, therefore it causes us to become tired, which then leads to us becoming weak. When we are weak then the enemy knows we are a prime target. Do not think you can serve, do good works, and not be replenished with the Lord. Everyone needs refilling, most people are performing with their “cups” empty. If your cup is empty you will be a disservice to yourself and to others. Know when you have had your limit, and look for these signs that you need to step away (agitation, irritability, tiredness, heaviness/feeling burdened, overwhelmed, anxious, sadness/depression). Do not believe you are superhuman and you can continue when you feel these things. Everyone has a caution light that is build-in to our system. When you experience the caution lights of tiredness, being agitated, etc., listen to your body. If you do not heed the warning light it can lead to burn-out, exhaustion, and possible even sin. When we experience the above caution symptoms, it weakens us, thus can led us to temptation, and if the opportunity presents itself to sin, you could be too weak and tried to resist the temptation. This is real and it happens to many non-intentional, believing Christians. You need to know when you are at your limit, and then say, “No,” turn your phone off, turn off all electronic devices, and find your quiet spot and rest, replenish, and reconnect to your power source. Then, you can continue with the things you were doing, sometimes you need an entire day, and if you are extremely tired and burned-out, a week with God can help. You might say, “I don’t have that kind of time.” Make whatever changes so that you can have as much possible time with God as you can. You don’t have to be legalistic, you can recharge with nature, God does speak through His nature; taking walks, and just “unplugging” from phones, social media, and not being available for every need to help.

If you are unable to hear God or sense His presence because of all the distractions and business of your life, step away and reconnect to God the Father. Your life may be out of balance, and you may need to rebalance your life. If you are more concerned about your circumstances, including people, and you have unplugged from the power source; your life is out of balance. Many people and circumstances will pull at you, be discerning when and who to help and when to pull away. Listen to your body, your mind, and check how your spirit is doing. Have you become critical, negative, lost your peace and joy? Are you fatigued? Do you feel God is far off somewhere? These are signs that you need to reconnect to the power source.

Quiet your spirit, get alone with God, and reconnect and rebalance your life. Get in-tuned to what the spirit is saying to you, not the distractions or other people. In our culture, quieting ourselves is not easy to do, but it is important that we unplug from all our sources of distractions to hear God clearly.

Ways to know your life is spiritually balanced:

1.       You are at peace.

2.       You can experience joy.

3.       You feel “light” and not burdened.

4.       You are not fearful, anxious, or worried.

5.       You focus on Jesus not your circumstances.

6.       You are thankful and give praise to God.

7.       You don’t feel heavy or oppressed; you are not carrying the burdens of others.

8.       You can hear God louder than the voice of the enemy.

9.       Your focus is on pleasing God not man.

10.   You are able to enjoy your life and not feel guilty when you do.

11.   You are at rest that Jesus will take care of all that concerns you.

12.   You are full of faith and believe God is working things out for your good.

13.   You are content and are accepting of your life.

If you are around people who are taking from you more than giving, spiritually immature, or unbelievers; you need to know when to unplug from them and replenish with God. God needs to refill you and build you up so that you can truly be a light in the dark world. God does not expect you to give exhaustively until all off your strength runs out, know when you need to step away. It is okay to step away and plug into the power source. It is okay to say, “No” to others and it is okay not to answer your phone, your emails, or respond to your social media accounts. We live in a day and an age where we think we are indispensable with our phones and social media, but we did not live that way once upon a time. People had to wait to get a hold of us if we could not answer our home phone (not cell phone), and people had to wait to hear form us when snail mail was sent to us, not an instant email. We survived then, and we can and others can survive if we need to unplug from theses sources.

                        How to balance your life and prioritize your life:

1.       God first.

2.       Your spouse.

3.       Your children.

4.       Your job/ministry.

5.       Extended family.

If your life is not in balance, let’s say you have your job and ministry as #1, you need to reprioritize. If you have your children ahead of your spouse or if God is last on your list, it’s time to rebalance your life. You may have a demanding career or you may be in full-time ministry, therefore if they are #1 on your list, and God is not first then your life will get out of balance. With hectic schedules, weed out what you can, wake up earlier, spend time on your lunch break, take a day off if and when you can, and spend time with God on your day off. You don’t have to be legalistic, remember you can recharge and reconnect to God outdoors in nature, walking, being still, unplugging from all electronics to hear Him, and journaling. God is a creative God, and your time with Him will always be refreshing no matter how you spend time with him recharging. He knows how you may need to recharge.

It’s Okay to Say, “No”

Most people have an insecurity about saying, “No” to people and their requests. We do not want to let people down, or we do not want people think badly of us; which is another way to say we are people pleasers. Sometimes, we can, “Yes” to things that are not spirit-led. Doing things to please others can lead to burn-out, exhaustion, and frustration.

Be free to say, "No."

As Christians, we often think a good request or act of service should be performed by us. 85% of what we do can be done by somebody else that means we often take more of a load than we should. That does not mean we do nothing, but often we “follow the crowd,” and are swayed by what others want from us. We look to other people to see what we should be doing. How about instead of following the crowd and being swayed by other people that you follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and do and go where He wants. You will be surprised what God will take off your plate to lighten your load. But too often, we never ask God what He wants us to do, we instead listen to what others want from us or follow what others are doing. When you follow Christ, your activities and schedules may not look like everyone else’s. You have to get comfortable that you may be different because you are not following what people want. So many times, people are involved in numerous activities, committees, and services because they have a need to be validated, get recognition, and prove their worth. In a lot of cases, these people end-up too busy to spend needed time being refreshed and renewed in the Father’s presence, and their cups run empty and they are doing from an “empty cup.” It is wise that we do not let our cups run empty going and doing “good works” that we forget our relationship with Jesus, our families, and taking care of ourselves. Yes, it may seem selfish to prioritize this way when others are in need and we have the answers and the time to help, but everything should be in balance. If your priorities are out of balance, you will be out of balance. It is never wise to serve and extend yourself if you are empty and depleted.

Learning to tell others “No” is a step to finding your worth in Christ alone, and not based on what others think of you. Be aware that other people may not like you to saying “No,” some may get offended, but your true friends will understand without pressure, guilt, coercion, or manipulation. We should all give each other the freedom to make choices that are best for us.

Everyone has boundaries but not everyone implements them. Some people have a need to always be doing and going, and expect everyone else to do the same. However, we are not built like one another, and some cannot go at the pace and speed of others. In our Western culture we have more heart disease and stress as a country as a whole compared to others, because we are always striving to keep up, get more, and we do not know how to rest and be still. Resting brings peace and with rest and stillness it opens you more to hearing the voice of God. So many people say they cannot hear God, and it is because they cannot get still enough. Most of the time their cell phones, iPads, or other electronic device keeps them distracted. Let’s not follow everyone else and what they are doing, but let us take time to step away from the crowds and distractions to hear the voice of the Lord.

Reflection Questions:

1.    Do you say, “Yes” to other’s request for fear of letting them down? Fear of losing their approval? Or fear they will be upset with you?

2.    Are you a God-pleaser or a people-pleaser? Do you pray before giving someone an answer to their request? (It is okay to say, “I need to pray about that; let me get back to you.”)

3.       Do you follow what everybody else is doing or do you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit? (An example would be, everyone at your church just signed up for a class, you don’t pray about whether God wants you there, you sign up because you feel like you should do what everyone else is doing).

4.    Do you lack boundaries? Do you have insecurity/lack of confidence? (These questions will give you insight why you may have difficulty saying “No.”). Ask the Holy Spirit to show you why you may have difficulty saying “No.”

Let’s look at some truths:

1.      You cannot do and be what everybody else wants. Your confidence comes from Christ, not what you do or who you can please. Always pray and seek God before committing yourself to something, even if it seems good. You do not have to give somebody an answer immediately, they can wait!

2.      It is okay to say “No, “and not feel bad. We are all created differently and have different needs. Some good responses are: “ Now is not a good time, I need to pray about that and get back with you, I need to pray first, No, thank you, or maybe another time.” In doing this, you are setting boundaries with others. If you do not set boundaries with others, you could end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and taken advantage of.

3.      It is okay to not sign-up, join, or attend every activity at church, with friends, or with family. The key is not copy what others are doing, and be God-led.

4.      It is also okay to say “No” to company and surprise visits by others. It is okay to say “No” to company that wants to drop in unexpectedly or without much notice. Do not feel bad if you need to say “No.” You may need rest, time alone with God and your family, or you may need extra time to prepare, and all is okay. Do not compare yourself to someone who could at the “drop of a hat” be ready for unexpected company. If God gives you the grace, strength and peace for company then you know and you will have it, if not it is not going to be fun for you or them.

If you feel pressure, guilt, condemnation, or manipulation from others to conform to what they want from you, then it is time to set some clear boundaries, and possibly some consequences if that type of behavior continues. A consequence could be separating yourself for a time or not engaging frequently with ones who would invade your boundaries. People who lack boundaries do not care if they take your time and energy, so you must protect your boundaries and be able to tell others “No,” and be okay with that.

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Coping With and Managing Stress in Healthy Ways

Between 75-90% of all doctor’s visits are stress-related. Stress comes in a variety of symptoms, ailments, and conditions. Stress can affect you spiritually, physically, and emotionally. There are many things in life to cause us to feel stress and anxious. Chronic stress can complicate matters and can lead to burn-out and Adrenal Fatigue.

 The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines stress as a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.; something that causes strong feelings of worry and anxiety; a physical, chemical factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation.

What happens to our bodies under stress:
1. Cortisol mediates various metabolic processes. Cortisol levels can be elevated if we are under physical or psychological stress.
2. Immune system can weaken and you can become more susceptible to colds and flus.
3. Have difficulty falling or staying asleep.
4. Bouts of irritability, anger, and easily frustrated/annoyed.
5. Fatigue and don’t feel like you got a restful night’s sleep.
6. Anxiousness, fear, and low moods (mild depression).
7. Mood swings (hormones out of balance).
8. Feelings of being overwhelmed.
9. Eating too much or too little.
10. General sense of not feeling well (malaise).

 What are we stressed about? Some common stressors in people’s lives:
1. Family
2. Marriage (getting married if you are not married)
3. Children
4. Finances
5. Work, career
6. School
7. Budgeting, paying bills
8. Paying for children’s education, college
9. Health
10. Health of family members
11. Friendships (lack of or not spending enough time with)
12. Death of a loved one
13. Death of a pet
14. Divorce, remarriage
15. Stepfamilies
16. Salvation of loved ones
17. Not sleeping
18. Unresolved childhood issues or unresolved grief issues
19. Single parenting
20. Fear of the unknown, not being in control
21. Addictions with self or family members
22. Infidelity
23. Infertility, miscarriage, abortion
24. Moving, adjustments/transitions
25. New job or retirement
26. Having a baby
27. Debt
28. Family member moving in
29. Family member having emotional/ mental difficulties
30. A goal/dream was not accomplished

 Add up the above stresses for the past year and if you listed 5 or more that occurred this last year, you could have a high level of stress that needs to be dealt with.

 Steps to Coping with Stress and ways to Manage Stress Levels: 
1. Spend daily time in the Word, praying and giving thanksgiving for the things that are good in your life.
2. Attend church regularly and fellowship with the Body of Christ.
3. Write down (5) things to be thankful for EVERYDAY. Keep a Gratitude Journal.
4. Journal, write often. Write the date on each journal entry and how you are feeling, what God is speaking to you, and anything else that would be helpful.
5. Walk or do light exercising. Walking is the best exercise for stress reduction.
6. Take it One Day at a Time. Focus your energy and thoughts on the present day.
7. Do something fun daily! Enjoy your life!
8. Find a hobby such as gardening, bird watching, or painting.
9. Watch comedies often! Laugh! Smile!
10. Take every thought captive into the Obedience of Jesus Christ and renew your mind continually. Watch what you are thinking and talking about.
11. Eat balanced meals consisting of fresh fruits, vegetables, and protein. Stay away as much as possible from fried foods, processed foods, sugary snacks, and high-energy drinks.
12. Drink 3 cups of green tea and/or Yerba Mata tea. You can choose to drink 1 8oz. cup of coffee.
13. Switch to Stevia instead of sugar.
14. Limit your time with negative, draining, and toxic people. Watch who your spending your time with.
15. Avoid overreacting to problems as much as possible. Practice praying first, and being still.
16. Listen to relaxation music such as jazz, classical, and soothing sounds.
17. Take bubble baths and light scented candles.
18. Light scented candles and other fragrant scents throughout your home.
19. Don’t take on the burdens and problems of others. You can pray for others always and intercede ONLY when God calls you to.
20. Set limits and boundaries with others. Learn to say, “No.” Do not try and meet the expectations of everyone.
21. Be a God pleaser not a man pleaser.
22. Do not seek the approval of others but what God would have you to do.
23. If you are able to afford a massage or you can have your spouse do for you.
24. Take time off when you can. Rest when you can. You don’t have to be going and doing all the time!
25. Take small vacations or staycations if you cannot afford to leave.
26. Nap when you can and when you need to, its okay!
27. Eat sitting down and eat slowly and enjoy your meals.
28. Do not live in a hurry or rushing around. Let your pace be relaxing.
29. Help when you can help but don’t take on the responsibility of others.
30. Forgive yourself, forgive others.
31. Be gentle with yourself. Stop being so hard on yourself. Let go of perfectionism.
32. Take a multi-vitamin, B-vitamin and look into natural herbal remedies. I do not make any medical disclaimers here but I do recommend for natural alternative treatments to try Native Remedies. You can go onto my website @ www.christianhopecounseling.com  and click on the link to Native Remedies.
 33. If you need further assistance, counseling, or prayer you can contact me @ www.goseplguidance.com/advisors/5311-sreck