Counselor's Corner: Overcoming the Fear of Failure

Fear of failure occurs when you have tried to accomplish a goal or a task and either had setbacks, delays or no progress at all. Usually the fear of failure does not happen the first attempt at a desired outcome but after repeated attempts to achieve your dream or destiny.

Failure is mostly based on your perception, in other words, if you keep trying after not succeeding do you give up or keep trying? If you perceive that you are a failure and whatever you do will fail, you will not keep trying. If you believe that failure only occurs if you stop trying than you likely will continue to pursue your dreams.

I had great ambitions to become a published author. I set out on my mission to publish my first book, and I did several years ago. The problem is that even though I did have my book published, the sales of that book only covered the expenses of what I paid the publisher. I did not make a large profit and became terrified to write another book. I knew I was supposed to write another book, even though my first book did not have the outcome that I would have liked. Now my second book has currently been released with a different publisher. I truly don’t know what will happen with this book, but I will continue to write. If you know God has given you something to do, our part is to be faithful and do it and not to worry about the outcomes.

Perhaps you did not write a book and it flopped but you had a business fail or a job that you did not flourish at. As a result, you may be stagnant or comfortable not pursuing any further goals that would lead you towards your dream. You have stopped dreaming, believing and hoping that your destiny would be fulfilled.

Failure is a part of life. Each time you miss the mark use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes you don’t make it the first, second or even third time around. Sometimes it can take multiple times to finally see your dreams come to pass. DON’T GIVE UP! When you are not getting the desired outcomes or one door closes after another, regroup and try again!

→PERSISTANCE AND PERSERVERANCE are keys to overcoming fear of failure.

Some naysayers may say to you, “If you did not make it work the first or second time around you probably should give up.” You may even tell yourself that.

But what if these people stopped after their first attempt…

Abraham Lincoln did give up after he failed numerous times with different offices in the government he was trying to run for, he never would have become our 16^th president. He is known as the most famous failure ever to hold office in the United States.

Albert Einstein known for having one of the most brilliant minds ever lived was once considered a major failure! Einstein did not speak until he was four years old. He eventually went to a university but he struggled and nearly dropped out. Einstein’s father considered his son to be a major failure. After his graduation, he was unsure about what to do with his life and become an insurance salesman. Einstein eventually brought us the theory of relativity and developed several fundamental core laws for physics.

Bill Gates first business, Traf-O-Data failed. Gates enrolled in Harvard University but the following year he dropped out of Harvard to start Microsoft.

Colonel Harland Sanders better known for his Kentucky Fried Chicken. He is also known for his numerous failures in life and in business. At 5 years old, his father died leaving his mother to take care of three children. Harland’s mother would leave for days at a time and he would have to take care of his siblings. During this time, he learned to be a proficient cook. At the age of 12, his mother remarried but this marriage was not good and it caused him to leave home the following year. At 14 years old, he began working as a farmhand. Sanders worked many jobs for years, but nothing really stuck. He owned a ferry boat, sold tires, and eventually opened a restaurant in a gas station selling fried chicken. He was already 40 years when he started serving the fried chicken dishes, but was 50 years old before securing the secret chicken recipe known as the colonel’s secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices. However, just 2 years later he sold his business and got divorced. In 1955, another one of his restaurants failed.

 The age of 65 years he set out to franchise his chicken across the nation. He was rejected by 1,009 restaurants before ONE agreed to his idea.

Dr. Seuss was famously known for the children’s book,” Green eggs and ham.” His initial manuscript that he wrote was rejected 28 times before finally being accepted. Dr. Seuss went on to write many more children’s books and has sold over 600 million copies of his books.

Emily Dickinson one of the most famous authors of modern times. She considered herself a failure much of her life. She was an extreme introvert and was reluctant to meet people face-to-face. She was called a reclusive and eccentric by the locals in her community. She never married nor had children. While Dickinson is considered to be one of the most renowned poets in history, less than a dozen of her poems were published during her lifetime. When her poems were published they were altered significantly because her style did not fit the norm of the day.

Henry Ford known for the Ford Motor Company, one of the most profitable automotive companies in the world. Although success came to Ford years later he failed often in his early years. In 1901, his first business failed and in 1903 at the age of 40 he tried again.

Jack Canfield known for the national best seller, “Chicken soup for the soul,” was turned down by 144 publishers before one small town publishing company in Florida took a chance with his book. Fast forward years later and 500 million books have been sold and it has been translated into over 20 languages.

Lastly let’s not forget Thomas Edison who failed over 10,000 times trying to invent a commercially-viable electric bulb. He was asked at one point by a reporter if he felt like a failure after so many failed attempts. His reply to the reporter was, “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work. I will find the way that will work.”

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts, and success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

-Winston Churchill

Fear of failure starts in your mind first. To learn how to discipline your mind and overcome your fear of failure check out my new book, “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!”