Bitterness is displaced anger, and resentful cynicism
that results in intense antagonism or hostility towards others. You can get
hurt so badly in life that you become cynical and hard. Bitterness can affect
one experiencing profound grief, and is the state of mind which willfully holds
on to angry feelings, ready to take offense, and able to break out in anger at
any time. A person who is bitter is often resentful, cynical, harsh, cold, and
unpleasant to be around. An expression of these characteristics is sin against
God.
Bitterness happens and most often is a normal response
to hardships or sorrowful situations. However, we should see to it that we deal
with any bitterness in our lives, for if we do not it can cause a host of other
sins, such as, hatred, cruelty, antagonism, self-pity, vindictiveness, and prideful
ambitions. Bitterness motivates complaining. People who habitually complain are
bitter people. When we allow bitterness to fill us with occupation with self,
with life, and problems, we are on dangerous territory.
Bible
examples of bitterness:
Women who are bitter because they cannot have children
(1 Samuel 1:10)
A foolish son is bitterness to his mother (Proverbs
17:25)
Suffering causes bitterness to people who do not give
priority relationship to God (Deuteronomy 32:24)
Ruth asked that her name be changed to “Mara” meaning
bitter because of her losses (Ruth 1:20-21).
Job’s complaint to God, “Why does God let this happen
to me,” is a statement of bitterness (Job 9:17-18)
When a Christian is bitter, there is a loss of close
fellowship with the Lord and a hindrance in one’s relationship with the Lord
Jesus Christ. Bitterness becomes sin
when we do not forgive others that have hurt us, (Ephesians 4:13), when jealousy
and selfish ambition occurs (James 3:14), and when we allow a bitter root to
grow (Hebrews 12:15).
Roots
of bitterness that need to dealt with and pulled up out of our lives:
1. Forgiveness
of wrong-doing by others.
2. Animosity
towards others and even God.
3. Confrontation
of others when issues are unresolved.
4. Learning
to trust God’s sovereignty and His plans for our lives.
Bitterness
shows up in (3) ways:
1. Directed
against God. You feel He could have protected or prevented unpleasant and
harmful things from happening in your life. You feel angry and ask, “Lord, if
you love me why did you allow this to happen?” or “Lord, why have you not
answered my prayers?”
2. Against
other people. You have been hurt, mistreated, used, and rejected by others. This kind of pain usually happens with the
people we are the closest to. You might say,” I forgive them,” but your heart
says “I will hang onto this hurt a little while longer to make them “pay” for
hurting me.”
3. Against
yourself. This comes in the form of not being able to forgive yourself, which
in turn can cause you to live in self-pity. You believe you deserve whatever
has happened to you, or that you are being punished by God and “should take
it.”
Bitterness is often caused by people, most of the time
by people we love, or people we cannot confront, or people we trust. Grace
includes the ability to look at people and see them as God sees them, and
includes the ability to let them live their lives as directed by the Lord, and
trusting that God will make His way clear to them. Grace allows people to make
mistakes without judging them. Forgiveness is the key to right relationships
with others, it will promote joy and peace in your lives. Does it matter how
many time someone has hurt you? No, forgive as often as it takes. Do not allow
unforgiveness to fester, and allow grudges to grow. Bitterness is also caused
by hardships and sorrows in our lives. Realizing that your happiness does not
depend on people or circumstances can be very freeing. Trust God in the things
that you do not understand. Easier said than done, yes, but relinquish your
plans and your desires to the Almighty.
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