A definition of
offense is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult or
disregard for one’s standards or principals.
Synonyms for
offense: annoyance, anger, resentment, indignation, irritation, wrath and displeasure.
Those
who are easily offended are usually described as “wounded, hurt, insulted, angry,
or disappointed.” When
someone gets offended, they take everything personally. Scripture teaches
however, if we keep our focus upon God and His Word, He will maintain peace in
our hearts that can withstand offense, “Great
peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm
119:165; “You will keep him in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3
►Causes
of Offense:
Unhealed
past wounds/hurts:
There are Christians who are “touchy” or extremely
sensitive. They spend much of their time hurt or upset at people and at
circumstances. For these types of Christians, we should be patient and gentle
with them, encouraging them. There are reasons they are so sensitive, it could
be a past hurt or wound that has not been healed. Any wound or hurt that has
not been healed can cause a person to misinterpret others and their responses
to them. Sensitive feelings can be a way that Satan uses to oppress people.
This can be seen by people not experiencing joy or peace because of being
easily offended by others.
Focusing
too much on self:
Hurt feelings and being easily offended usually has
something to do with self, such as, “I did not get my way or what I wanted.” We
must die to self, and become totally immersed in the identity of Jesus Christ. When we die to self, we will become immune to offenses. Die to self-will that demands justice for
my rights that have been violated. Our heart attitudes must be right when
seeking a solution to our offense. We must approach the person who offended us
in meekness and humility.
False
expectations:
People will fail us and they will disappoint us.
Expectations should not be placed upon humans, but Christ alone. Although
Christians are forgiven and have Christ living in them, they will sometimes
fail and make mistakes.
Feeling
entitled:
Many root causes of offense is the feeling of
entitlement. When someone disrespects you, you feel offended and feel the need
to “get back,” at them. Maybe someone hurt you from your past, and you feel
that you will never allow anyone to hurt you again or disrespect you.
Feeling
ignored or overlooked:
If someone passed by you and did not say, “Hello,” or
they did not invite you to lunch. Or maybe you have been going though a trial
and no one seems to have noticed your plight or reached out to you.
►Offenses
left unrestrained can lead to bitterness, anger, resentment, complaining, and murmuring.
Offenses that are held onto to can cause
a Christian to be hindered in their spiritual growth, it can build walls in relationships,
can lead to potential sickness, and cause bondages in a person’s life that can
open the door to demonic strongholds such as discouragement, fear, negative
attitudes, critical spirit, and feelings of rejection. When a Christian
applies forgiveness, grace, and mercy it can remove all offense and one can
experience greater peace, joy, love, more openness in relationships, and
spiritual growth and maturity.
If we see or hear something in another Christian that
offends us, we should examine ourselves first. Since the faults we see in
others are usually the same ones we have ourselves, we should be careful when
correcting others. We need to be certain we have dealt with that problem in our
lives first.
Good
sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11
With
all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3
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