Counselor's Corner: Becomming Resilient

There are a few of us in life who have been knocked down repeatedly. Some of us have had to learn very early on in life how to fight, and some never have learned to get back up from the punches in life. For someone who has been under tremendous stress, trauma, and different crisis’ in their lives, developing resilience is key for maintaining and keeping good mental, physical and spiritual health.

→Without resilience, one breaks under pressure instead of just gently bending.

What is resilience? The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. You bounce back swiftly after stress or difficulty in your life.

Research shows that the amount of resilience a person possess is a greater factor for determining success in life rather than your IQ. Some people have a natural tendency towards resilience, while others are bent more towards emotional reactions including being overwhelmed by difficulties in life. I believe some resilience is part of our DNA, but I also believe some resilience is learned by our environment or by the people who raised you. Take for instance, if you were raised with an overly emotional mother whose first reaction to problems was to show negative emotions and you never saw how she overcame her difficulties; chances are a part of what you perceived became ingrained in you. The good news is you can learn how to become resilient. Learning to become resilient starts with your thoughts, and renewing your mind to believe what God says in His word about you. If your thoughts are negative, it is probable you are not a resilient person.

Would you consider yourself a resilient person? Why or why not? What traits did your caretakers show you that helped or hindered your resiliency?

Resilient people…

→Resilient people are able to cope with problems and setbacks. Those that lack resilience become overwhelmed when distressing situations occur, tend to focus on the problem, use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges, and are slower to recover from setbacks

→Resilient people don’t live life in denial, but they understand that setbacks occur and that life can be painful sometimes.

→Resilient people do not remain focused on the negative, and disengage rapidly from problems that appear unsolvable. A key to resilience is to know when to “cut your losses,” and move on to problems that are solvable.

→Resilient people still mourn losses and experience grief, but they can find redeeming potential in most situations. When non-resilient people face difficulties all of their emotions turn negative. If things are good, the non-resilient person is good, but if things are bad, they feel bad.

→Resilient people can find the silver lining in almost any adverse circumstance. Resilient people will find, seek, and search for the good in their challenges.

→Resilient people are grateful people and are always counting their blessings. They might say, “I am sad that this happened but I am blessed about this.”

→Resilient people are not victims and don’t wallow in self-pity.

→Resilient people are overcomers, whether it is their childhood wounds or current painful situations.

→Resilient people are hopeful. They are hopeful brighter days are ahead and they trust God will use their pain for His purposes.

→Resilient people take good care of themselves such as with exercise, eating healthy, and maintaining a healthy support system.

→Resilient people do not focus on their problems, but focus on what is right in their lives.

→Resilient people are not whiners and complainers. They don’t tell their problems repeatedly to others to gain pity.

→Resilient people are fighters, they don’t back down and they never give up! When they get temporarily knocked down, they come back up stronger.

→Resilient people move forward, they don’t keep looking back in the past in regret and they don’t project what may happen in the future.