There are a few of us in life who have been knocked
down repeatedly. Some of us have had to learn very early on in life how to
fight, and some never have learned to get back up from the punches in life. For
someone who has been under tremendous stress, trauma, and different crisis’ in
their lives, developing resilience is key for maintaining and keeping good
mental, physical and spiritual health. Without resilience, one breaks under
pressure instead of just gently bending.
What
is resilience? The capacity to recover quickly from
difficulties. You bounce back swiftly after stress or difficulty in your life.
Research shows that the amount of resilience a person
possess is a greater factor for determining success in life rather than your
IQ. Some people have a natural tendency towards resilience, while others are
bent more towards emotional reactions including being overwhelmed by
difficulties in life. I believe some resilience is part of our DNA, but I also
believe some resilience is learned by our environment or by the people who
raised us. Take for instance, if you were raised with an overly emotional mother
whose first reaction to problems was to show negative emotions and you never
saw how she overcame her difficulties; chances are a part of what you perceived
became ingrained in you. The good news is you can learn how to become resilient.
Learning to become resilient starts with your thoughts, and renewing your mind
to believe what God says in His word about you. If your thoughts are negative,
it is probable you are not a resilient person.
Reflect
and ponder: Would you consider yourself a resilient
person? Why or why not? What traits did your caretakers show you that helped or
hindered your resiliency?
Counselor’s
Corner:
→Resilient
people are able to cope with problems and setbacks. Those that lack resilience
become overwhelmed when distressing situations occur, tend to focus on the
problem, use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges, and are
slower to recover from setbacks
→Resilient people don’t live life in denial, but they
understand that setbacks occur and that life can be painful sometimes.
→Resilient people do not remain focused on the
negative, and disengage rapidly from problems that appear unsolvable. A key to resilience
is to know when to “cut your losses,” and move on to problems that are
solvable.
→Resilient people still mourn losses and experience
grief, but they can find redeeming potential in most situations. When non-resilient
people face difficulties all of their emotions turn negative. If things are
good, the non-resilient person is good, but if things are bad, they feel bad.
→Resilient people can find the silver lining in almost
any adverse circumstance. Resilient people will find, seek, and search for the
good in their challenges.
→Resilient people are grateful people and are always
counting their blessings. They might say, “I am sad that this happened but I am
blessed about this.”
→Resilient people are not victims and don’t wallow in
self-pity.
→Resilient people are overcomers, whether it is their
childhood wounds or current painful situations.
→Resilient people are hopeful. They are hopeful
brighter days are ahead and they trust God will use their pain for His
purposes.
→Resilient people take good care of themselves such as
with exercise, eating healthy, and maintaining a healthy support system.
→Resilient people do not focus on their problems, but
focus on what is right in their lives.
→Resilient people are not whiners and complainers.
They don’t tell their problems repeatedly to others to gain pity.
→Resilient people are fighters, they don’t back down
and they never give up! When they get temporarily knocked down, they come back
up stronger.
→Resilient people move forward, they don’t keep
looking back in the past in regret and they don’t project what may happen in
the future.
MEDIATE
ON THESE SCRIPTURES:
I
repeat, be strong and brave! Don’t panic, for I, The Lord your God, am with you
in all you do.
Joshua
1:9
The
righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hearts become stronger and
stronger.
Job
17:9
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