Transferring blog to a New Host

I have been working on transferring my blog from blogger to WordPress. There are many logistics and "bugs" to work out. I appreciate your patience and your understanding as I am working towards making a new website for my blog and for online counseling.

You can find my blog today on WordPress at www.stephaniereck.com

Counselor's Corner: Do You Suffer from Decision Fatigue?

Unlike physical fatigue which you are aware of, decision fatigue often happens without you knowing it. You are just tired from the many decisions that you have been making or even thinking about making.

Every decision you make requires time and energy-even ones that may seem harmless.

Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist coined the term “decision fatigue” in reference to the decline in the quality of decisions that are made by a person after many decisions have been made in a row.

Decision fatigue will decrease your productivity and motivation.

The enemy will use the strategy by presenting you with several difficult decisions that need to be made, many which you cannot figure out or feel confused about making. This scheme is done covertly by presenting you with many decisions all at once and often times coming from many different directions, in the hopes that eventually you will be so worn-out by all the presented decisions to be made that you’ll start agreeing to things you should not.

Being forced to make multiple complex decisions will deplete your energy. There are times at work or in your family life that this will occur, and other times the enemy sends a barrage of multiple complex decisions with the goal of wearing you down.

If I am presented with too many decisions and especially multiple complex decisions, I tend to just “shut down.” I start to feel sluggish and in need of a nap. This month I had several decisions that needed to be made, some were complex decisions. I noticed that for the last week I have been especially fatigued, and I believe this was a result of being faced with too many complex decisions that I needed to make, and many of the decisions I still have not come to any conclusions about.

I believe the enemy will deploy this scheme to mentally wear you at, especially when you cannot find a solution to the decision in front of you and you go over and over in your mind what to do.

Tips on how you can overcome decision fatigue:

1.     Limit and simplify your choices of where to eat, what to do and what to wear.

2.     Have a routine and plan your day the night before or early in the morning. Spontaneity can be fun, but not when you trying to recover from decision fatigue.

3.     If you cannot figure out the complex multiple decisions in your life, and feel confused by them, recognize who is likely behind this trap and ask the Holy Spirit to give you His wisdom and guidance concerning those decisions. 

4.     Practice self-care. Get the rest and replenish that you need. Put off making decisions that can wait.

5.     Getting a good night’s sleep can recharge your batteries, so opt to get at least 7-8 hours nightly.

If you feel overwhelmed by the many decisions that need to be made in your life, step back for a while until you can get a clearer picture. Many times, decisions in our lives don’t need to be made immediately, and if you do feel the pressure to make an immediate decision you can be rest assured that the enemy is behind it.

Counselor's Corner: How to Rejoice and Be Glad Everyday

I don’t know if you are like me but some days I do not feel like rejoicing and being glad. There are times in my life that I allow my circumstances to determine if I’m going to be glad and rejoice that day.

If we are all honest it can be challenging to be glad and rejoice when problems mount, circumstances go unchanged, and situations arise that could disrupt the joy we are having.

The psalmist wrote, “This is the day which the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it.” Psalm 118:24  

We often postpone our rejoicing until our circumstances are perfect, but God wants us to rejoice and be glad today not when ________________ happens. My circumstances in life are tough, and they have been that way for many years. In my family we have dealt with a prodigal child, infertility, alcohol, drug and gambling addictions, unsaved loved ones, domestic violence, mental instability, multiple family members continually needing money, and this just scratches the surface. I had a difficult time rejoicing and being glad everyday when there were somedays, I did not even want to get out of bed. Circumstances overwhelmed me and threatened to destroy any enjoyment that I could have.

What I am learning is that if we wait to rejoice and be glad when all of our circumstances are perfect, we will miss the blessings of the day. Even during our most trying times in life, there is always something that should cause us to be glad and rejoice; it may be simple things in our life like seeing a butterfly.

If you believe you will finally be glad when God does something specific for you, rest assured it won’t take long before you are needing God to do something else again in order to be glad. When we learn to be glad and rejoice during the triumphs and trials of life, we can then stay steady and stable during the turbulent times and still find the treasures of life during the trials. You can waste your entire life waiting to be glad and to rejoice, waiting for that prodigal to come home, waiting for your unsaved loved one to finally surrender, or you can wait with gladness in your heart that God will cause all to work together for your good (Romans 8:28).

Jesus said, “The thief comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy. I have come that you may enjoy life and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows) John 10:10.

We can waste a lot of time believing that enjoying life comes from our circumstances. No one enjoys pain and troubles, but if you view those circumstances in a hopeful and faith-filled way, we can see God work out those situations for our good.

Enjoying your life begins with your thoughts. The battlefield for experiencing gladness and enjoyment of life is in the mind. The enemy will bombard your thoughts with “woe is me” thoughts, and if you entertain those thoughts you certainly will not be glad, rejoice, or enjoy life.

You will need to consciously choose gladness and rejoicing. Your thoughts are connected to your feelings. Check the source of why you feel the way that you do by asking yourself, “What have I been thinking about?”

Tuesday Words of Encouragement

https://youtu.be/5x9NurHkNzA

Counselor's Corner: Gainig a New Perspective

My husband pressured washed our backyard patio over the weekend. All the patio furniture was still in the yard from the weekend cleaning. I admit I was not motivated at all to move the patio furniture back onto the patio. The patio furniture is old and we have a lot of pieces so we really have not been able to rearrange our patio. As I was spending time with God outside this morning, I asked the Lord to give me a new perspective on life. As you know Jesus is a great teacher, so instead of just answering my prayers immediately, He placed upon me to rearrange the patio furniture. Of course, I was a bit dumbfounded, not only did I not want to do this, I had no idea how this had anything to do with changing my perspective in life!

Before I began placing my patio furniture back, I asked the Lord to give me creativity and motivation. I began placing the furniture in places on my patio that I had not done before. When I was done, my patio felt completely different. I actually liked where the pieces where placed now and felt where the furniture had been placed would better serve me. I stepped back from my work and sensed I had a new perspective on my backyard. I now have a space to drink my coffee in the morning and read my Bible.

Tips on how you can gain a different perspective in life when everything seems the same or you feel like you keep going around the same “mountains:”

1.     Change your focus. What has been your focus on? All that is wrong, circumstances that are stressful or overwhelming, what you don’t have? Focus on what is good, praiseworthy and of a good report.

2.     Change your thoughts. What has consumed the majority of your thoughts? Worry, anxiety, fear, doubt? Replace all thoughts that are negative with what is good and right.

3.     Change the way you see God. What do you believe about God? That He is punishing you, mad at you, withholding goodness from you? Renew your passion for Christ by allowing Him to pour His unconditional love to you, this means you don’t have to do anything or be anyone to receive.

4.     Change the way you see yourself. Have you been overly critical of yourself, do you beat yourself up when you don’t perform perfectly for others, do you believe that you don’t have what it takes? Speak life over yourself, what God says about you and believe the Greater One resides inside of you to equip and empower you.

5.     Change the way you see other people. See people through the “lenses” of God. Some people are challenging and it would benefit you to speak what you want to see in their lives instead of what they present to you.

6.     Change your environment. If you can go on a short vacation or take one or two days where you can go explore a different area. You can even just go somewhere that you have never been before.

7.     Change your furniture arrangement. Rearrange one of your rooms in your home, or even your outdoor living space.

8.     Change your attitude. Be intentional about setting your mind on your blessings. Write down or say out loud daily what you are thankful for. All through the day keep a list or reflect on what you are grateful for.

9.     Change your view about that problem in your life that seems impossible. You may not can do anything about the problem in your life that is impossible, but God can do what you are not able to. God is the God of the impossible. Stop believing the lie, ”there is no way.”

10. Change the way you see life. Nothing is permanent, not even that issue in your life that has been going on for years. We all have good and bad days, and sometimes the bad days last a little longer than we would like. Ask God to show you the good in all the bad that has happened in your life.

11. Change the way you look at old problems. We can get discouraged if we expect old issues to remain the same. Spark the flame of hope for those “dead, dry” places and people in your life. Clear the slate in what your expectation in that things will always stay the way that they are, and that the people in your life will stay the way they are. Even clear the slate in your own life that you believe you will always be a certain way.

Ask God to give you “new eyes to see,” and a “new heart” to transform the way you view life.  If you keep doing the same things and believing the same things, then you will continue to get the same results. Changing your perspective can change your entire life. You don’t have to deny reality, you just need to believe that all things are possible (Matthew 19:26), and God promises to work all things out for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28).

Counselor's Corner: The Importance of Being Disciplined

Do you desire to be successful, productive, achieve goals, break destructive habits, or even form healthy habits? If your answer is yes, then you must develop discipline in your life.

Discipline also brings stability and structure into your life. This is a must if you are recovering from any addiction or you struggle with any form of instability in your life.

Discipline means delaying gratification. People that lack self-control are unable to delay gratification, this can lead to disastrous results such as overspending when you really haven’t “counted the costs” down the road for a financial splurge.

When you are disciplined you can choose to do what you know to do rather than doing what you feel like doing. Discipline will get you out of bed to exercise when you would rather stay in bed and sleep.

People who are disciplined are not better at fighting temptation, just better at avoiding it. For example, a disciplined person may avoid going to a bar or a party if they know they could not resist the temptation.

A disciplined person knows who would sabotage their disciplined life and places firm boundaries on those people.

A disciplined person is great with time management, they don’t waste valuable time sleeping late, running late, or aimlessly wandering around because they have a plan.

Being disciplined can help you eat better, exercise, be more productive in life, be a good financial steward with your resources, and achieve goals that you want to accomplish in life.

Discipline can help you with your thinking that may be negative. When you take those negative thoughts captive and begin to replace those thoughts with the truth in God’s Word and faith-filled statements you can eventually discipline your mind or train your brain to think on those thoughts that are lovely, good report and praiseworthy.

A disciplined person is overall more satisfied in life. If you lack discipline, start with one small thing you want to get disciplined in and then gradually build as you achieve your desired results. You are not looking for perfection, we will all have days where we forgo our discipline, but don’t stay there; forgive yourself and get back up.

It usually takes 30 days to learn something new or break a habit, however it can take up to six weeks. Discipline takes hard work, dedication and commitment to stick to your goals even though you may not feel like it.

Counselor's Corner: Giving Your Mind a Rest

Are you experiencing intruding thoughts, racing thoughts, obsessive thoughts, or negative thoughts? Does it seem you can’t get your mind under control?

We can wear ourselves out mentally and physically by what we entertain in our minds.

The battlefield is in the mind. If the enemy plants a “seed” of worry, doubt or fear and you agree with the lies you will eventually begin to experience what the enemy planted in your thoughts. How does this happen? The enemy is a master deceiver and he will present thoughts to you that seem like your thoughts or appear to be true. If the enemy said something to you that was not believable you would not fall for the deception. This is why it is important to spend regular time in the Word of God, dispelling the lies coming at you.

How do you know if the enemy is behind the thoughts coming in your mind or it’s the Holy Spirit speaking to you?

When the enemy plants thoughts through “seeds:”

·        You will be presented half-truths.

·        You feel confused and will not have clarity.

·        You will feel pressure, hurried to make a decision.

·        You will feel burdened, heavy, or like your carrying “weights.”

·        You will feel anxious, worried or fearful.

·        You will feel you ought to, should be or could be doing something.

·        There is not a solution to the problem presented to you or at least a feasible one.

·      Whatever task is in front of you, it’s too big for you and you are overwhelmed by it.

·        You don’t feel like a Christian.

·        You will feel guilt over something you should be doing.

·        You will feel discouraged and maybe even depressed.

·        You will feel defeated and possibly hopeless.

Notice in most of the instances that you will know if the enemy is behind the thoughts coming at you is you are not motivated by Holy Spirit but by how you feel. The enemy works overtime in getting you to operate out of your feelings and emotions because he knows you very likely will not be led by Holy Spirit.

What does the Holy Spirit speaking to you sound like?

·        There is clarity and direction. No confusion or trying to “figure-out” what to do.

·        Have peace and are confident where and what Holy Spirit is directing you to do.

·        Have strength, grace and even energy to do what God wants you to do, and when your “cup is empty” from giving to others He will replenish you.

·        You are not drained physically, mentally and spiritually because you know what God is leading you to do brings great joy to you even though it may not be an easy task.

When you are led by Holy Spirit you are not led by your emotions and feelings which most of the time will mislead you.

If your mind is not rested but anxious, worried, fearful, restless, confused, take a step back and ask yourself whose voice are you listening to?

Rest Your Mind

https://youtu.be/fa255YoQxgA

Counselor's Corner: Projecting the Future Will Cause You to Feel Overwhelmed

Are you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, burdened or anxious? When you project what may happen in the future you forfeit your daily grace and lose strength.

Recently, I started feeling quite overwhelmed and experienced unusual exhaustion. I realized during my morning time with God that I had begun to project scenarios that may or not happen in the future. I had begun to figure out what may happen or could happen in the future. I was not even doing this intentionally but it came as a result of trying to figure out problems and situations for a loved one.

I am a problem-solver and fixer by nature. You present me with a problem and I will have twenty different ways for you to overcome your problem. Being a problem-solver can be a good thing, but it can also hinder the work of the Holy Spirit hat tmay want to do in our lives or the lives of others.

If the Holy Spirit directs you to do something, you will know what to do and what way to go. If Holy Spirit is not leading but you are leading with your emotions and feelings you will begin to figure out how to solve problems.

Figuring out your problems or others problems will lead to feeling overwhelmed and burdened.

If you are concerned about future events, pray, and then be still and wait on God to direct your move. The Holy Spirit never leads in fear or anxiousness. Taking life one day at a time, one step at a time can alleviate the need to project future outcomes of situations.

Living in the past or living in the future will steal your peace, joy and daily strength.

When faced with tough decisions and you just don’t know what to do and feel to get a sense of relief you have to project what may or could happen, stop, and be still. The enemy magnifies situations to keep you focused and distracted on all what may go wrong, or if you don’t step in and do something there will be disaster.

Hold your peace. Most of what we worry about never happens, in fact 85% of what we worry about never happens and 15% of what does happen we can handle better than we thought we could.

Sufficient for this day is its own troubles (Matthew 6:34) Why go projecting “future troubles” you don’t even know that will happen?

Counselor's Corner: When You Don't Know What to Do

There are times in our lives that decisions are presented to us, and we are not sure what direction to take. Sometimes we need to step back from a situation to gain clarity.

If you are continually mulling over and over in your mind what to do in a particular situation chances are you will get confused. Confusion is not from God. Perhaps God does not want you to do anything, but you feel that you should be doing something.

When we have decisions to make in our lives, if we can it is best to wait and seek guidance and wisdom from the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives wisdom and direction to those situations that we are just not able to figure out on our own. The problem for many of us is that we don’t always believe that it is Holy Spirit guiding us when our emotions are telling us to do the opposite.

If you are unsure about making a certain decision, allow some time for your emotions to subside as much as possible, and then proceed with what gives you peace. Peace is a sure sign God is involved, while confusion is a sure sign the enemy is involved.

There are those times in life you have to make quick decisions because of an emergency, but if it is not an emergency and you do not know what direction to take, wait and allow the peace of Jesus to direct you.

When the Holy Spirit guides you will know what path to take and you will not need to figure out how to do so. The Holy Spirit leads gently, without pressure, force, or in a hurried manner. When Holy Spirit leads, He “solves the problem,” when the enemy is involved you feel the problem is “unsolvable, burdensome, and overwhelming.” 

Sometimes the direction we should take is not the direction we think we should, but if we trust God, we can know that He knows what would be best for us.

Counselor's Corner: Breaking Free of Busyness

Lately I have been feeling rushed, hurried and pressured. When I got alone with God this morning and was able to quiet my mind, I realized my schedule has been busy. The calendar that I had made for the month of May was full and it’s only the first week of May and I can already feel the affects of being busy.

I don’t operate well when there are too many obligations and activities on my schedule. I like to go at a slow pace, not rushed, and feel like I have time to pull back when I need to.

Many times, we fill our schedules overflowing because we feel obligated to certain people or activities, and we certainly don’t want to let anyone down. However, we cannot “burn the candle at both ends.” Something in your life will suffer if you are too busy, your marriage, your children, or even your physical health.

Some people seem to be able to go continually and always have something to do or somewhere to go. I do not believe God designed for us to be continually on the move. Our bodies need rest, and we need breaks from the demands of life. The Sabbath day is intended for that, but so few people actually take a weekly sabbath.

Busyness and distractions are tools of the enemy to keep your focus on everything “you should be doing,” instead of what Holy Spirit is leading you to do.

The enemy uses busyness and distractions to ‘quietly” step in the “backdoor” of your life. You won’t see him coming because your too busy and distracted.

Take some time and look at your schedule, if you are packed with activities that are not essential and you are not feeling strong physically, mentally or spiritually, start cutting back all that is not necessary. Say “No,” to people and activities that are not vital.

You must have time to breathe, rest, be still and hear the Holy Spirit. Being too busy and distracted can hinder your ability to hear the Holy Spirit. When we are not led by the Holy Spirit we are led by our emotions and feelings and this can cause confusion over what we should or should not be involved in.