Counselor's Corner: When You Have Done All That You Can Do in a Relationship

Some relationships are difficult. Do you have a relationship in your life that you have done all that you can do to help this person, or tried mend your broken relationship with them and nothing has seemed to work? You may feel disappointed, frustrated, and you may feel like you failed this person. 

The closer you are to that person emotionally such as with a child or sibling, the deeper the wound goes. Maybe it is time to realize that you have done all that you can do to heal this relationship and that is time to heal your heart.

Relationships can be a great source of security, stability, and support, but strained and damaged relationships can be a source of stress in our lives.

Reflect and ponder: Are you frustrated in a relationship that you have been trying to fix and nothing thus far has seemed to work? Maybe you have tried to communicate and were meet with resistance or you have given excessively and what you gave was squandered.

Counselor’s corner:

·        A healthy relationship is reciprocal, meaning both give and take equally. When the relationship is unbalanced and there is more taking than giving, the relationship becomes strained. A strain on a relationship can break the relationship.

·        Don’t jump back into a relationship with someone just because they say, “I’m Sorry.” I’m Sorry, is a good starting point but it must be backed up with consistent action not merely words.

·        If you have given your time, money, and resources repeatedly and it does appear to help-Stop! Repeated hand-outs can actually harm a person in the long-run by causing dependency.

·        If you have tried to communicate and you have been shut down, ignored, or what you were trying to say was twisted-move on and pray that the Holy Spirit would speak truth to them.

·        When you’ve done all that you can do for that relationship, get your focus elsewhere. Look for opportunities where you can plant “seeds” in fertile soil.

·        Give that person over to God fully, and release them from your heart into God’s capable hands. This does not mean you give up someone, it means you’re giving them over to God.

Relationships should add value to our lives not stress and heartache. All relationships eventually will have some sort of conflict or disagreement, but healthy relationships talk openly about what has caused their conflict, and there is resolve quickly through mutual respect and understanding.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 13:20

Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals.

1 Corinthians 15:33

Can two walk together, unless they agree?

Amos 3:3

Counselor’s Corner:Taking Care of Yourself When You Have Chronic Stress

What is chronic stress? Any stress in your life that is persistent and ongoing with no-end in sight. Examples of chronic stress could be drug-addiction in family, emotionally unstable or mentally ill family, a disabled or sick child, and any caregiver role that you might be in. Minor stress in comparison can consist of more manageable types of stress such as car repairs, paying for your child’s education, or getting through the holidays with your in-laws. The difference with minor stress and chronic stress is that with minor stress, there is relief eventually coming. With chronic stress, you don’t know when or if relief will come. Chronic stress left unchecked can develop into PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).

The first key in recovering from chronic stress is becoming aware. Becoming aware of how chronic stress has affected your life, and becoming aware of what action steps that need to be taken quickly before the onset of negative symptoms.

What are some of the symptoms of chronic stress:

□ Depression

□ Anxiety

□ Fatigue

□ Overwhelmed

□ Decreased immune functioning

□ Overreaction in small matters

□ Anger, frustration, irritability

□ Women-hormonal imbalance

□ Gastrointestinal issues-bloating, diarrhea, upset stomach

□ Decrease in libido

□ Back pain

□ Frequent headaches

□ Difficulty concentration and remembering

□ Easily startled

□ Not at ease, feel hyper-guarded

□ Cardiovascular diseases including high blood pressure

□ Difficulty staying or falling asleep

□ Feel helpless

Stress that is persistent and ongoing has a far greater negative impact on our overall health. Chronic stress can lead to atrophy in the hippocampus part of the brain and can later develop into dementia. 

Chronic stress can lead to premature death, stroke, and cancer. Chronic stress actually kills our brain cells! The American Psychological Association reported on a study of chronological ages versus physiological ages related to stress. Their findings were startling-women who cared for disabled or sick children for years were 10 years older physiologically. We must be active to eliminate what stress that we can, and to manage the stress that is chronic in our lives in a healthier manner. Chronically stressed individuals are literally in a fight for their lives and for survival.

Reflect and ponder: Do you have any chronic stress in your life? Or perhaps you have multiple, chronic stressors in your life? Are you ready to implement changes in your life to save your life?

Counselor’s Corner:

Self-care is imperative to develop and incorporate into your life if you have chronic stress. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, but in fact it could prolong and save your life. You must realize that because you have dealt with chronic stress, you are now different. You may have to grieve the loss, the pain, and the trauma that the chronic stress has caused you. You may not be the same person that you were before the chronic stress was a part of your life, but like the Apostle Paul who continued in his ministry even with the “thorn in his side,” I believe we can too! We just need to balance our lives differently with a lot of self-care.

Self-care tips for chronic stress:

1.      Know your limits. Know when enough is enough for you. You may not be able to go and do like everyone else, you may need more times of quietness and solitude with the Father. I have learned quietness is my friend. A lot of noise and big crowds do not do well for me any longer, but one on one relationships are great for me. Do what is best for you! If you are not able to attend a funeral because it heightens your stress levels, don’t go and maybe instead send a card or flowers. If going to a loud social gathering would cause you more anxiousness, don’t go but instead do something that you would enjoy.

2.      Exercise. Exercise decreases stress, anxiety and depression. Even walking can have benefits to your health.

3.      Detach emotionally from people in your life who drain you, use you, manipulate you, or add little to no value to your life. Detaching in love is something that only God can give you the strength to do. There may come a time in your life where you need to “cut your losses” in a relationship. If you have received more pain in a relationship than it may be time to detach. Detaching does not need to be permanent, just until God has restored that person to a right relationship with Him and the two of you can then have a healthy relationship. Detaching emotionally says, “You are now responsible for you own life and I will no longer fix, rescue, or enable you in anyway.” Detaching emotionally means your problem is no longer my problem.

4.      Do things for your enjoyment. Cultivate lots of time for fun, laughter and relaxing.

5.      Have alone time with the Father, often! Learn to soak by just sitting before the Lord and listening to worship music. You can even soak in a warm tub filled with Epson salt and play worship music as you do.

6.      Simplify your life. Cut out all non-essentials in your life and cut down the things in your life that are only Holy Spirit led. You will find that God does not want us running and jumping here and there, but often He has just being still. Stillness in the Lord = Peace.

7.      Rest when you need to. Chronic stress has your body working overtime so when you need to pull back and rest-do so! It is not your job to convince others of your walk. Your true friends will stick by you and will understand your boundaries and when you need to take a break.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest, take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is a t my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 16:8

Counselor’s Corner:Resilience: Getting Back Up Again After You Have Been Knocked Down

There are a few of us in life who have been knocked down repeatedly. Some of us have had to learn very early on in life how to fight, and some never have learned to get back up from the punches in life. For someone who has been under tremendous stress, trauma, and different crisis’ in their lives, developing resilience is key for maintaining and keeping good mental, physical and spiritual health. Without resilience, one breaks under pressure instead of just gently bending.

What is resilience? The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. You bounce back swiftly after stress or difficulty in your life.

Research shows that the amount of resilience a person possess is a greater factor for determining success in life rather than your IQ. Some people have a natural tendency towards resilience, while others are bent more towards emotional reactions including being overwhelmed by difficulties in life. I believe some resilience is part of our DNA, but I also believe some resilience is learned by our environment or by the people who raised us. Take for instance, if you were raised with an overly emotional mother whose first reaction to problems was to show negative emotions and you never saw how she overcame her difficulties; chances are a part of what you perceived became ingrained in you. The good news is you can learn how to become resilient. Learning to become resilient starts with your thoughts, and renewing your mind to believe what God says in His word about you. If your thoughts are negative, it is probable you are not a resilient person.

Reflect and ponder: Would you consider yourself a resilient person? Why or why not? What traits did your caretakers show you that helped or hindered your resiliency?

Counselor’s Corner:

→Resilient people are able to cope with problems and setbacks. Those that lack resilience become overwhelmed when distressing situations occur, tend to focus on the problem, use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges, and are slower to recover from setbacks

→Resilient people don’t live life in denial, but they understand that setbacks occur and that life can be painful sometimes.

→Resilient people do not remain focused on the negative, and disengage rapidly from problems that appear unsolvable. A key to resilience is to know when to “cut your losses,” and move on to problems that are solvable.

→Resilient people still mourn losses and experience grief, but they can find redeeming potential in most situations. When non-resilient people face difficulties all of their emotions turn negative. If things are good, the non-resilient person is good, but if things are bad, they feel bad.

→Resilient people can find the silver lining in almost any adverse circumstance. Resilient people will find, seek, and search for the good in their challenges.

→Resilient people are grateful people and are always counting their blessings. They might say, “I am sad that this happened but I am blessed about this.”

→Resilient people are not victims and don’t wallow in self-pity.

→Resilient people are overcomers, whether it is their childhood wounds or current painful situations.

→Resilient people are hopeful. They are hopeful brighter days are ahead and they trust God will use their pain for His purposes.

→Resilient people take good care of themselves such as with exercise, eating healthy, and maintaining a healthy support system.

→Resilient people do not focus on their problems, but focus on what is right in their lives.

→Resilient people are not whiners and complainers. They don’t tell their problems repeatedly to others to gain pity.

→Resilient people are fighters, they don’t back down and they never give up! When they get temporarily knocked down, they come back up stronger.

→Resilient people move forward, they don’t keep looking back in the past in regret and they don’t project what may happen in the future.

MEDIATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

I repeat, be strong and brave! Don’t panic, for I, The Lord your God, am with you in all you do.

Joshua 1:9

The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hearts become stronger and stronger.

Job 17:9

Daily Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner: What is Tough Love?

Tough love is a term you may be familiar with if you have any experience with addiction recovery or with a rebellious child. Bill Miliken wrote a book in 1968 called Tough Love, and since then using the term tough love is applied when we need to be tough and loving at the same time. Learning to separate and detach emotionally from your loved one’s destructive behaviors is tough! As parents, we have an innate desire to protect our children, even if they are grown. The instinct to protect and defend our children never stops. To go against protecting and rescuing our loved ones, especially our children, can be emotionally disruptive to our mental well-being. Guilt and feeling overly responsible for our loved one’s poor choices can be crippling to our mental state, unless we have gotten to the point of letting go and letting God.  

Should we continue to rescue, fix, and solve our loved one’s problems when there seems to be little to no change in their harmful behaviors? To do so may stunt their emotional and mental growth, as well as decrease their need to take responsibility for their actions. When we take responsibility for another’s actions repeatedly, we can cause them to never take full ownership of their lives, thus preventing them from becoming productive and responsible citizens.

Tough love is about letting your loved one fully feel the impact of their choices. Is this difficult to do? Yes, that is why it is called tough love. Tough love does not mean you become mean and uncaring but you have finally put the “brakes” on bad behavior so that your loved one may have an opportunity to get their lives in order. There is a time that we can intervene and help our loved one out of a situation, but only if it is to their betterment. If your loved one learns from their mistake, turns their life around and heads for the right direction-you can safely assume it was a good choice to intervene. If you intervene in your loved one’s life and they did not learn their lesson from the mistake they made, and in fact repeated the same mistake; it’s safe to say it is time for tough love. Example: This time last year I intervened with a loved one after they received a second DUI (driving under the influence). I helped by driving this person to all of their probation meetings, victim impact panel classes, helped get their driver’s license reinstated and helped with obtaining the special car insurance (SR-22) that someone needs after receiving a DUI. However, this person did not learn from this and will be going to court soon for illegal possession of a narcotic. My instinct is to help, protect and rescue but I have to override these emotions and realize I must show tough love. My uncle was never shown tough love, he was coddled and rescued up until his mother was placed in a nursing home and she could no longer care for him. He never learned to be responsible and to take ownership for his actions, and that is how he died. I often wonder how his life would have turned out if my grandmother said, “No,” to my uncle’s incessant need for money to pay for his drugs and gambling. Feeling sorry for someone, like my grandmother did for my uncle never helps! My grandmother always had an extra bedroom that my uncle could stay in anytime that he wanted, and he did! I believe my uncle was crippled emotionally by my grandmother because of her need to take responsibility for his life, after all my grandmother would say,” he could not help the way he behaved after his wife left him and the drugs made him do the things he did!” My uncle passed away last week without a home, a job, or anything that could be left to his children and grandchildren. All the decades of fixing and enabling my uncle’s destructive behaviors did nothing but cause a harmful cycle to be repeated in his grown child.

Why is it wrong to have to take responsibly for your life instead of being a victim? A victim says, “It is someone else’s fault that I am the way that I am.” A victim never takes responsibility! Tough love says, “It’s good to take responsibility.”

Reflect and ponder: Have you had to show tough love to someone? Does showing tough love seem abnormal at times? Do you want to show tough love but believe God would not show tough love?

Counselor’s Corner:

Tough love should be implemented only when you have attempted repeatedly to bail, rescue, fix, or solve your loved one’s problems and they have not owned up to their mistakes or shown much or any responsibility for their actions. It is okay to “lend a hand” on occasion to help, but if the help becomes chronic help-it’s time for tough love. Tough loves never equal meanness, cruelty, or harshness, but means boundaries that are put into place so that your loved one knows they can no longer cross or violate your emotional, mental, physical or spiritual health. Tough love is one of the highest forms of love, because it says, “I love you so much that I am willing to suffer so that maybe one day you will be a responsible and productive citizen.” Tough love is the refusal to help someone when simply to do so would simply allow them to continue along a dangerous path. The person who is allowed to live off others will not truly seek to improve their situation. You help no one when you allow them to live off of you.

“Give a man a fish versus teach a man to fish.” Which would be better? Hand-outs or to teach someone how to “fish” for themselves? When you learn to “fish” for yourself you become responsible, independent, productive, and motivated to pass what you have learned to others.

How to show tough love:

1.      Have your loved one take full responsibility for their actions! No more money, no more fixing their problems, and no more coddling and feeling sorry.

2.      No more listening to excuses and blaming! Do not fall for the victim stories any longer. Learn to separate your heart from your head. A sob story can be used as manipulation.

3.      Pray and pray the Word of God over your loved one. Speak blessings over their lives.

4.      As you have been taking care of your loved ones needs, and most likely neglected your own; start taking care of yourself. Nurture and foster healthy and supportive relationships. Join a support group

.

Love that does not include boundaries is not truly love, it is enmeshment. Enmeshment means being overly involved in another’s life to the point that no one is separate or has clear boundaries-everybody is in each other’s business. Rescuing another from their destructive behaviors is not loving, but it is enabling and codependent.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, those of you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back on the right path.

Galatians 6:1

Read the parable of the lost son- Luke 15:11-32.

Daily Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner by Stephanie R. Reck, LMSW, LBT, BCCC :You Will Know Them by Their Fruits

We all have difficult people in our lives. As a Christian, it can be challenging to know how to cope with a difficult person-especially if they are a Christian!

A difficult person can be defined as one who repeatedly causes harm to self or others, takes little or no responsibility for their actions or lives, expects others to fix, solve, rescue, or help continually, they are not genuine but are known to be dishonest or not trustworthy, and uses manipulative tactics to gain what they desire.  A difficult person may talk a lot about what they are going to do, but you rarely see evidence of their talk turning into action. Difficult people rarely keep their word. You learn not to expect anything from the difficult person because they are not known for keeping promises.

A difficult Christian can be the fore mentioned listed and as well as have “bad fruit.” You will know them by their fruits they produce. The Holy Spirit produces the fruit of righteousness in terms of the character we have and the way that we live our lives. In contrast to the fruit of the spirit, the Apostle Paul listed the opposite kind of fruit people can produce, calling these “works of the flesh,” these include: adultery, fornication, lewdness, uncleanliness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambition, dissensions, envy, murder, drunkenness, revelries and the like.

We are responsible to produce the fruit of the spirit in our lives (joy, peace, love, long suffering, gentleness, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness), but we must also be responsible to discern the fruit produced by others.

How do we avoid judging another wrongly? We evaluate the consistent actions in a person’s life.

Jesus warned us to put people to the test by examining their actions. Jesus told us not to just pay attention to people’s words, but look at how they live. If we look at the actions of the difficult person or people in our lives rather than their words alone; we may not get misled!

Jesus dealt with many difficult people while on earth. Jesus was never prideful or superior, but He showed authority under control. Jesus dealt with difficult people by rebuking some, remaining silent when needed, pointing some to scriptures, and trying to teach some.

Reflect and ponder: Do you have anyone difficult in your life, perhaps a difficult Christian? How do you deal with that difficult person? Do you tend to be persuaded by people’s words or do you observe their behavior?

Counselor’s Corner: Should you continue to allow the difficult person in your life or should you step away for a time and let them go into God’s capable hands?

Some questions to consider:

1.      Have you been attempting to help the difficult person in your life repeatedly either through finances, teaching/guiding, or rescuing from their consequences? The key word is repeatedly. There is a time to help but if the helping becomes chronic or the help never really helps, it is time to stop!

2.      Do you tend to get agitated, frustrated, tense, or stressed when dealing with the difficult person in your life?

3.      Do you lose your peace quickly and end-up with feelings of regret because you lose your peace with the difficult person in your life?

4.      Do you struggle with guilt, condemnation, or feel manipulated by the difficult person in your life?

5.      How is your life better because the difficult person is in your life? In other words, do they add value to your life or take away value?

6.      Does the difficult person in your life take from you instead of the relationship being reciprocal? Is the relationship one-sided? It is okay to help someone who is down on their luck for a time, but if the helping becomes a pattern and the relationship is now one-sided; it is time to reelevate the relationship.

7.      Has the difficult person in your life continually broken your trust and they would like to automatically gain your trust without consistent behavioral changes? Trusting someone with a history of breaking trust without first seeing the evidence of their changes, would be unwise and foolish. My recommendation is for someone with repeated cycles of difficult behavior, to allow at least a full year of observing their actions (not words) to determine if the relationship can be safe for you. In the meantime, make sure you have truly forgiven the difficult person or people in your life, pray daily for them, and speak God’s word over them. If you are married, I am in no way supporting divorce but there are sometimes that you have to be separate if there has been repeated issues of infidelity or abuse.

8.      If you have implemented boundaries with the difficult person in your life, yet somehow, they seem to cross those boundaries- it is time to enforce a consequence. To punish the difficult person? No! but to guard your heart. You can truly love people from a distance, and in many cases, it is best to love from afar, until you know it is safer to engage. You love people from a distance by speaking blessings over them, praying for them, and

9.      If being around the difficult person in your life causes you to sin in anyway, this relationship probably is not good for you. You have to ask yourself, “I’m I a good influence in this person’s life or do they influence me (not for good)? Do I tend to get confused when I am around this person?

10.  Does this relationship drain you physically, mentally, spiritually, or even financially? Do you feel burdened when dealing with the difficult person or people in your life?

11.  If you stayed your distance for a time would you have a better appreciation for that person that is difficult for you, and would you have peace and overall sanity?

Family should be our safe haven, but sometimes it is the place that causes our deepest heartaches. Very often we can have difficult family members. Not everyone’s family is safe, supportive, or healthy. Not all families are built on mutual respect. Some families simply are not safe. Some unhealthy families refuse to communicate and thus cause undue tensions to escalate.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matthew 5:44

Every good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore, by their fruits you will know them.

Matthew 7:17-20

Daily Encouragement: Counselor's Corner by: Stephanie R. Reck, LMSW: How Do you Know the Holy Spirit is Leading You?

Without being led by the Holy Spirit, we can do things we are not supposed to. The enemy loves when we stay distracted and busy doing and going. I believe busyness is straight from the enemy. If you are a people-pleaser or need people approval it is very likely you will please man rather than being led by what the Holy Spirit wants. Most likely some of the Christians you go to church with are operating from a fleshy desire to please self and man rather than a desire to please the Holy Spirit. It feels better to our flesh to go along with what everyone else is doing.

Just because something seems right to do, does not mean that it is! We can wear ourselves out by agreeing to do everything that comes into our path. There are certain things we are not to be involved with even if it seems good and right. The Holy Spirit knows what is best for us, and what we can handle.

Reflect and ponder: Do you make decisions or agree to do something because everyone else is going along but you already have a full plate or don’t have peace? Or do you just do what your flesh wants, not stopping to ask the Holy Spirit if He wants you to be involved?

Counselor’s Corner: The flesh is always deceiving-it wants what it wants! Moving in the flow of the Holy Spirit makes you come alive and energizes you, operating in the flesh usually drains you of energy and spiritual strength.

How do you know you the Holy Spirit is leading you?

1.      Don’t make rash or impulsive decisions. Learn to say, “I need to pray about that.”

2.      Wait on the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you before forging ahead with your agenda. Yes, there are times we have to make quick decisions, but if you have developed an intimate relationship with God and are acquainted with His ways through reading the Word and prayer, even when you have to make a quick decision it will be more likely you will make one that is Holy Spirit led. Training yourself to be still before God to hear His voice will equip you better when you need to make a quick decision, you will already know how the Holy Spirit speaks.

3.      The Holy Spirit never, ever works in confusion. There is an unexplainable peace when the Holy Spirit is prompting you. If you are not being led by the Spirit, you will experience confusion, chaos, lack of direction, and stress.

4.      When the Holy Spirit leads-He leads! You don’t have to figure out what or how to do something because the Holy Spirit places the answer deep into your spirit. The Holy Spirit does not always give concrete answers, sometimes we just know the “direction” we should take. Sometimes God just wants us to set out in faith before He gives us more detail, but even then, there is peace. You can do something afraid and still have peace!

5.      There is an inner-knowing deep in your spirit, you just know you are supposed to do something.

6.      The Holy Spirit never, ever operates in guilt! If you hear,” You should be, you ought to be or you need to be doing something,” these are laced in guilt from the enemy.

7.      Usually when the Holy Spirit is directing you to do something you will have confirmation with other believes-particularly your spouse if you’re married.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

But if you are led by the Holy Spirit, you are not under the law.

Galatians 5:18

For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God.

Romans 8:14

Daily Encouragement: Counselor’s Corner by Stephanie R. Reck, LMSW, LBT, BCCC : Being Still When the Storms of Life Pass By

Being still is an act of faith when “storms” blow your way.

Our normal reaction to when “storms” come our way is panic, fear, and anxiety. Recall the story in Matthew 4 that discussed how Jesus and His disciples got on a boat to get across the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus fell asleep when the winds and waves came crashing into their boat. Jesus remained asleep during the turbulent storm, but remember how the disciples got panic-stricken and their hysteria awoke the sleeping Jesus. What did Jesus do? He calmly commanded the wind and the waves to,” Be quiet and still.” Was this account a lesson that we can gain further from? Yes, Jesus wants us to remain calm until our “storm” passes by trusting Him completely-even when or even if__________________ (you fill in the blank). I believe the lesson for the disciples that day on the boat was Jesus teaching them to trust Him. Trusting Jesus when our lives and circumstances seem out of control takes discipline. The first few “storms” of life you very likely will react in fear or panic, but if you been through a few “storms” in life, you know Jesus is going to come through. You may not know how or when He will come through, but you have been through enough “storms” to know that reacting in worry, anxiety, and panic and fear NEVER, EVER work! You can testify, “been there, done that, ain’t going back!”

The “storms” we encounter in life can be likened to a tornado (which is a mix of problems all at once), a category 5 hurricane (this is major stuff like prodigal children, death, life threatening illness), flooding (the same problems that seem to go on and on), and thunderstorms (minor issues like sickness, stress-related work issues).

A very severe storm rolled through my town a few days ago bringing high winds, heavy rain, lightening and tornadoes. This storm lasted all day, but eventually this storm that seemed to never end eventually passed and the sun soon followed behind this massive storm. During this storm I took shelter, prayed, and waited the storm out. The “storms” in our lives will pass by quicker if we remain calm, and wait on the Lord to come to our rescue. Maybe you have a “storm” in your life that keeps coming back or one that does not leave. I understand I live with a “storm” that goes away but seems to come back. There can be peace in the midst of the storm. Take for instance paraplegic Joni Earkeson Tada who has been paralyzed from the shoulders down for 50 years, and yet it would appear her “storm” never left her. But what if she learned to “dance in the rain” Jesus does say we can have joy despite our deepest troubles, but I am also convinced that Jesus gives us times when He removes the “storms” even if it is just in our minds. In other words, the “storm” may still be physically present in your life but Jesus can give you moments where you don’t think about your “storm.”

Reflect and ponder: What is your typical reaction when the “storms” of life come your way? Fear, worry, doubt, anxiety, or panic? What do you believe Jesus would like you to do when “storms” come or even stay a while?

Counselor’s Corner:

How to remain still during the “storms” of life:

Definition of still: not moving; deep silence and calm.

1.      Remain still means not rehearsing, replaying, or rehashing your “storms” to every person you come in contact with. There is power in your words, learn to speak to your “mountains” instead about them-this releases our faith. God is moved when we react in faith. The more we talk about our problems the bigger they get. What we magnify whether good or bad is where our level of faith will stay at. Say to your mountain (your problem), “Be removed and cast into the sea.” (Matthew 21:21), believing in faith without doubting that your “storm” must move on.

2.      When any severe weather comes, usually we take shelter. We should do the same when “storms” of life come, run to our protector immediately! Ask for Abba Father’s protection and that He would cause your “storm” to dissipate. Ask the Lord to strengthen your spirit during the “storms,” and to work out for your good your “storm.”

3.      Worship. Give thanks. Praise. Offer a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving during and even after your “storm.” CHOOSE to magnify your blessings daily by either saying them verbally or writing them out.

4.      Speak the Word of God over your circumstances. Even if you have been praying for over a decade for a situation that seems insurmountable-press in and keep speaking the promises of God into those ‘dead, dry bones.” The prayers of the faithful go on and on even in eternity.

Don’t try and figure out how you can stop, change or move your “storm.” If a tornado was fast approaching your house would you run outside and try and stop that tornado? Of course not! This also applies to the “storms” in our lives, some of our “storms” can only be stopped, changed or moved by Jesus. Our job is not to stop our “storm,” but to run to The Shelter and ask Him for peace in the “storm”, to rescue us, and then we are to wait calmly for His rebuke to our “storm.”

JESUS CAN CALM YOUR STORM. PEACE, BE STILL and KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. GOD IS OVER EVERYTHING, EVEN THE RAGING STORMS.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Be still and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

·         Remember the definition for still means not moved; deep silence and CALM.

He calms the storm, so that the waves are still.

Then they are glad because they are quiet; so He guides them to their desired haven.

Psalm 107: 29-30

Truly my soul waits quietly for God; From Him comes my salvation.

He is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense;

I shall not be greatly moved.

Psalm 62:1-2