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What to Do When You Are Disappointed

A relationship does not work out, a job does not go through, or your prodigal child that you have been praying for does not seem to leave their rebellious life. We all have experienced times of disappointment, and it is a normal part of life. What is important to know is that if disappointment is not dealt with, it can eventually lead to depression. This is a scheme from the enemy. Something you really wanted does not work out, you dwell on why it did not work out, and eventually you begin to feel depressed.

Your thoughts will always follow your behavior.
7 Things to do when you feel disappointed:
1.Consider that what may have not worked out could be God’s doing. Perhaps, He was protecting you from something you did not even know about. 2.Go before God and ask Him to help you deal with your disappointment, and to show you the truth. Ask God to show you His perspective on the situation. 3.Take every thought captive. Do not let your mind wander and think whatever it wants. When something dis…
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Counselor's Corner: You Will Know Them By Their Fruits

We all have difficult people in our lives. As a Christian, it can be challenging to know how to cope with a difficult person-especially if they are a Christian!

A difficult person can be defined as one who repeatedly causes harm to self or others, takes little or no reasonability for their actions or lives, expects others to fix, solve, rescue, or help continually, they are not genuine but are known to be dishonest or not trustworthy, and uses manipulative tactics to gain what they desire. A difficult person may talk a lot about what they are going to do, but you rarely see evidence of their talk turning into action. Difficult people rarely keep their word. You learn not to expect anything from the difficult person because they are not known for keeping promises.

A difficult Christian can be the fore mentioned listed and as well as have “bad fruit.” You will know them by their fruits they produce. The Holy Spirit produces the fruit of righteousness in terms of the character we have an…

Counselor's Corner: Becomming Resilient

There are a few of us in life who have been knocked down repeatedly. Some of us have had to learn very early on in life how to fight, and some never have learned to get back up from the punches in life. For someone who has been under tremendous stress, trauma, and different crisis’ in their lives, developing resilience is key for maintaining and keeping good mental, physical and spiritual health.

→Without resilience, one breaks under pressure instead of just gently bending.

What is resilience? The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. You bounce back swiftly after stress or difficulty in your life.

Research shows that the amount of resilience a person possess is a greater factor for determining success in life rather than your IQ. Some people have a natural tendency towards resilience, while others are bent more towards emotional reactions including being overwhelmed by difficulties in life. I believe some resilience is part of our DNA, but I also believe some resilience is le…

Couselor's Corner: How to Break Demonic Cycles

A cycle is something that gets repeated over and over again, usually with the same results. There seems to be a “force” that pulls you into the same direction that you have tried desperately to get free from. Many people give up when negative cycles continue to happen in their lives because of discouragement that things will not get better.

There are bad habits you may have that seem to come in cycles such as over-indulging in eating or forgoing exercising again. Then there are demonic cycles that when you step back and evaluate the course of your life the same things keep getting repeated in your life to hinder your progress, growth and purpose in the Kingdom of God. In other words, you keep going around the same “mountains” over and over again and you never seem cross-over into your Promised Land.

You know it is a demonic cycle versus just a bad habit if the cycles that you go through are centered around getting you to question the goodness of God, His faithfulness, His love for you,…

Counselor's Corner: Focus on What You Are Doing Right

→Choose to magnify your progress not failures. Choose to magnify your strengths not your weaknesses.

Focus can be defined as what you concentrate on the most or the center of your attention.

Are the thoughts about yourself centered on what you are doing right more or on what you are doing wrong more? Do you tend to focus on your failures instead of any progress that you have made?

We all have faults, weaknesses, and have made mistakes. The problem is when the enemy places a magnifying glass over each one of your weaknesses, and your focus becomes distorted and all you can see are the negative aspects about yourself. Focusing on your deficits can cause discouragement, defeat, and depression.

Focusing too long on what is wrong with you can cause you to shrink back and not go forward, and this is exactly where the enemy wants you-stuck in the past and living in defeat of your past mistakes.

If God has forgiven your sins, He does not keep reminding you of your failures.

The enemy will atte…

Counselor's Corner: The Need to Belong

Psychologists, Abraham Maslow developed the hierarchy of needs that humans have. The first hierarchy of need on Maslow’s list is physiological such as clothing, shelter and food. The second hierarchy of need listed is safety, including being free from violence, abuse, and job security. The third hierarchy of need is belonging. Maslow believed that after psychological and safety needs are meet the third need humans have is the need to belong and to be accepted. Maslow concluded that humans need to love and to be loved. Many people become susceptible to depression, anxiety and loneliness in the absence of belonging. The fourth hierarchy of need is esteem or the need to be respected. Maslow’s last hierarchy of need is self-actualization which Maslow believed that to understand this level of need, the person must not only achieve all the previous needs, but master them.

In this article, I will focus on the third hierarchy, the need to belong.

Ask yourself the following questions if you fe…

Counselor's Corner: Enjoying Life Again After Trauma

*See articles, Healing from Trauma,Healing from Emotional Pain and Trauma and God, Why did You Allow this to Happen

If you have endured any type of trauma, learning to enjoy life again will part of your healing journey. For many people who have lived through traumatic experiences whether one time or recurrent trauma’s, the brain and body goes into a protective mode by shielding itself from any further danger. This protective mode is only supposed to last until you can cope with the initial shock of the trauma. I am sure you have heard of people who are described as going into “shock” when someone they love passes away. After the initial shock wear’s off, most people begin the healing process, but for some the trauma is too difficult for them to process and they remain stuck in the time that the trauma. Repressing trauma is seen frequently in people who have a history of past trauma’s such as childhood abuse. Other ways one does not deal with the trauma they experienced is through drug …

Counselor's Corner: God, Why Did You Allow This to Happen? Dealing with Anger from Emotional Pain and Trauma

*See articles, Healing from Trauma and Healing from Emotional Painful Emotions and Trauma

When you endure times of emotional pain and trauma and you specifically prayed for that event or situation not to occur and it did, or if you prayed that God would further shield you from any more pain and that did not happen the way you thought-it is possible that you have unresolved and repressed anger towards God.

Any type of trauma or emotional pain often shakes the very foundation of your faith. Before the trauma you may have believed that God was your protector and that He was good ALL the time. After much suffering, it can be challenging to believe that God always protects you and is good to you ALL the time. Unfortunately, this is a topic that is rarely discussed in our Christian communities because we put on “masks” to cover up how we really feel. Unresolved anger towards God not only hinders our relationship with Him but with others.

A client I had years ago had many emotional problems an…