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Hope & Encouragement for Women

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What to Do When You Are Disappointed

A relationship does not work out, a job does not go through, or your prodigal child that you have been praying for does not seem to leave their rebellious life. We all have experienced times of disappointment, and it is a normal part of life. What is important to know is that if disappointment is not dealt with, it can eventually lead to depression. This is a scheme from the enemy. Something you really wanted does not work out, you dwell on why it did not work out, and eventually you begin to feel depressed.

Your thoughts will always follow your behavior.
7 Things to do when you feel disappointed:
1.Consider that what may have not worked out could be God’s doing. Perhaps, He was protecting you from something you did not even know about. 2.Go before God and ask Him to help you deal with your disappointment, and to show you the truth. Ask God to show you His perspective on the situation. 3.Take every thought captive. Do not let your mind wander and think whatever it wants. When something dis…
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Counselor's Corner: Causes of Offense

A definition of offense is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult or disregard for one’s standards or principals. Synonyms for offense: annoyance, anger, resentment, indignation, irritation, wrath and displeasure.
Those who are easily offended are usually described as “wounded, hurt, insulted, angry, or disappointed.”  When someone gets offended, they take everything personally. Scripture teaches however, if we keep our focus upon God and His Word, He will maintain peace in our hearts that can withstand offense, “Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165; “You will keep him in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

►Causes of Offense:
Unhealed past wounds/hurts: There are Christians who are “touchy” or extremely sensitive. They spend much of their time hurt or upset at people and at circumstances. For these types of Christians, we should be patient and gentle with them…

Counselor's Corner: Christians and Dealing with Anger

Anger is a natural response to a perceived threat, and it is a normal emotion. Everyone has felt varying degrees of anger at one time. Anger can be caused by many factors such as, stress, financial issues, marital and family problems, abuse, injustices, guilt, unmet needs, expectations, and past hurts. Oftentimes, depression is anger turned inward. Mental health professionals agree that anger is not always bad, but how you handle anger is. Christian counselors report that 50% of people who come in for counseling are dealing with an anger issue.
Anger is not always sin. There is a type of anger in the Bible often referred to as “righteous anger.” God has been angry, but His anger also is redemptive and has a purpose. Jesus had righteous anger over how some of the Jews had defiled worship at God’s temple in Jerusalem (John 2: 13-18).
► Anger that leads to sin entails attacking the person not the problem, belittling and name calling, making threats, yelling, screaming or cursing, seeking …

Counselor's Corner: Stress and Exhaustion

Life can be tough, and at times overwhelming. One of the main things that I hear Christians say is, “I am so stressed and exhausted.” There is no doubt the enemy has launched his attacks against Christians.
Some Christians are falling away from their faith because of the stresses of life that have crushed them. Then, there are Christians who are growing closer and deeper to God as the world around them ensues in chaos and turmoil.
There is a war, a spiritual war being waged against Christians in these last days. I believe the enemy is assaulting Christians with circumstances that are gut-wrenching. How many Christians do you know are battling with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, troubled family and marriages, and financial difficulties?

Stress is caused by a perceived unmanageable set of circumstances that are out of our control.
Stress makes you physically tired, irritable, frustrated, can lead to depression, anger, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues. Stress can …

Counselor's Corner: Are You in a Place of Unrest?

So many people are in a continually state of unrest. It is important that you take time to rest your mind, body, and spirit. Otherwise, your entire system will be out of balance. When your system gets out of balance you can be susceptible to illness, negative thinking, depression, anxiety and fatigue.

How does one get in a state of unrest? Being constantly geared-up, worried, anxious, and fearful, thinking the worst, and not allowing your mind to just rest. As well as not eating properly, not getting enough exercise and not spending time with God.
To take a rest in your mind would mean to stop all thoughts that would pose a threat to your state of peace. If you’re constantly thinking about worrisome thoughts your body will react to the stress. If you think negative thoughts and stressful thoughts your body will begin to react.
Reflect and ponder: Do you see God as your Papa or daddy? Chances are if you don’t see God this way you have trouble resting because you have difficulty trusting…

Counselor's Corner: Overcoming the Victim Mentality

Successful people are rarely victims.
Victims by definition are people who do not acknowledge responsibility for their actions and who blame outside forces. Victims have a poor me attitude and wallow in self-pity. Victims feel that others are against them and that is the cause of their unhappiness. Victims portray themselves as unfortunates who need rescuing.
If you have a history of helping or fixing others, you will attractvictims!
Victims will drain you with their endless stories of how others have wronged them, and how they can never catch a break. Victims will cause you to burn out by their constant neediness. Victims do not want to discuss solutions to their problems, but will exhaust you to no-end with repeatedly blaming others for their misery.
Having a victim mentality is a learned behavior that usually begins in early childhood. Those with a victim mentality have difficulty expressing and processing negative emotions. Victims have a core belief that life is out of their contr…

Word of Encouragement: Be Still

Trials, heartaches and debilitating circumstances may be weighing you down. Perhaps you have endured more than you think you can handle. You may be voicing to God that you are at your limit. You may be wondering if others go through such distress and trauma. You may have even thought you have done something wrong to bring on such calamity in your life. If you have ever read the book of Job in the Bible you feel like you can understand his situation because you feel like Job. You feel like there is little or no direction for your life. You are just filled with heartache and grief. You have begun to wonder what the purpose is for so much pain and turmoil. Your grief runs deep and your trials seem endless. You are desperate for peace and rest. Your zest for life has fizzled out and you drag through the days.

Consider and reflect on this scripture: The thief comes only to steal, and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. John 10:10, NIV.
What do you n…

Counselor's Corner: Dry up the Roots of Bitterness

Bitterness is displaced anger, and resentful cynicism that results in intense antagonism or hostility towards others. You can get hurt so badly in life that you become cynical and hard. Bitterness can affect one experiencing profound grief, and is the state of mind which willfully holds on to angry feelings, ready to take offense, and able to break out in anger at any time. A person who is bitter is often resentful, cynical, harsh, cold, and unpleasant to be around. An expression of these characteristics is sin against God.

Bitterness happens and most often is a normal response to hardships or sorrowful situations. However, we should see to it that we deal with any bitterness in our lives, for if we do not it can cause a host of other sins, such as, hatred, cruelty, antagonism, self-pity, vindictiveness, and prideful ambitions. Bitterness motivates complaining. People who habitually complain are bitter people. When we allow bitterness to fill us with occupation with self, with life, an…