Skip to main content

Counselor’s Corner:Resilience: Getting Back Up Again After You Have Been Knocked Down


There are a few of us in life who have been knocked down repeatedly. Some of us have had to learn very early on in life how to fight, and some never have learned to get back up from the punches in life. For someone who has been under tremendous stress, trauma, and different crisis’ in their lives, developing resilience is key for maintaining and keeping good mental, physical and spiritual health. Without resilience, one breaks under pressure instead of just gently bending.

What is resilience? The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. You bounce back swiftly after stress or difficulty in your life.

Research shows that the amount of resilience a person possess is a greater factor for determining success in life rather than your IQ. Some people have a natural tendency towards resilience, while others are bent more towards emotional reactions including being overwhelmed by difficulties in life. I believe some resilience is part of our DNA, but I also believe some resilience is learned by our environment or by the people who raised us. Take for instance, if you were raised with an overly emotional mother whose first reaction to problems was to show negative emotions and you never saw how she overcame her difficulties; chances are a part of what you perceived became ingrained in you. The good news is you can learn how to become resilient. Learning to become resilient starts with your thoughts, and renewing your mind to believe what God says in His word about you. If your thoughts are negative, it is probable you are not a resilient person.

Reflect and ponder: Would you consider yourself a resilient person? Why or why not? What traits did your caretakers show you that helped or hindered your resiliency?

Counselor’s Corner:

Resilient people are able to cope with problems and setbacks. Those that lack resilience become overwhelmed when distressing situations occur, tend to focus on the problem, use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with life’s challenges, and are slower to recover from setbacks
→Resilient people don’t live life in denial, but they understand that setbacks occur and that life can be painful sometimes.
→Resilient people do not remain focused on the negative, and disengage rapidly from problems that appear unsolvable. A key to resilience is to know when to “cut your losses,” and move on to problems that are solvable.
→Resilient people still mourn losses and experience grief, but they can find redeeming potential in most situations. When non-resilient people face difficulties all of their emotions turn negative. If things are good, the non-resilient person is good, but if things are bad, they feel bad.
→Resilient people can find the silver lining in almost any adverse circumstance. Resilient people will find, seek, and search for the good in their challenges.
→Resilient people are grateful people and are always counting their blessings. They might say, “I am sad that this happened but I am blessed about this.”
→Resilient people are not victims and don’t wallow in self-pity.
→Resilient people are overcomers, whether it is their childhood wounds or current painful situations.
→Resilient people are hopeful. They are hopeful brighter days are ahead and they trust God will use their pain for His purposes.
→Resilient people take good care of themselves such as with exercise, eating healthy, and maintaining a healthy support system.
→Resilient people do not focus on their problems, but focus on what is right in their lives.
→Resilient people are not whiners and complainers. They don’t tell their problems repeatedly to others to gain pity.
→Resilient people are fighters, they don’t back down and they never give up! When they get temporarily knocked down, they come back up stronger.
→Resilient people move forward, they don’t keep looking back in the past in regret and they don’t project what may happen in the future.

MEDIATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

I repeat, be strong and brave! Don’t panic, for I, The Lord your God, am with you in all you do.
Joshua 1:9

The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hearts become stronger and stronger.
Job 17:9


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Counselor's Corner: Healing from Trauma

→What is trauma?
A deeply distressing experience, or a very difficult or unpleasant experience that causes someone to have mental or emotional problems usually for a long time.


Trauma can occur one time like death, natural disasters or accidents, or trauma can be prolonged and repetitive like abusive relationships, family with addictions, or combat.


Trauma that causes the most mental health issues are prolonged and repeated traumas and trauma that occurs from people especially parent-child relationships.



→What is a traumatic event?
Extreme stress that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope and overwhelms a person emotionally, cognitively and physically.


→Symptoms of trauma:
·Hypervigilant/guarded
·Easily startled
·Sensitive to certain noises
·Feeling on edge
·Depression/anxiety
·Overwhelming feelings of guilt
·Intrusive thoughts of trauma
·Disconnected from others and difficulty trusting others
·Difficulty handling stress
·Emotional numbness


→Long-term effects of trauma can include:
·Substance and alc…

Counselor's Corner: Overcoming the Fear of Failure

Fear of failure occurs when you have tried to accomplish a goal or a task and either had setbacks, delays or no progress at all. Usually the fear of failure does not happen the first attempt at a desired outcome but afterrepeated attempts to achieve your dream or destiny.



Failure is mostly based on your perception, in other words, if you keep trying after not succeeding do you give up or keep trying? If you perceive that you are a failure and whatever you do will fail, you will not keep trying. If you believe that failure only occurs if you stop trying than you likely will continue to pursue your dreams.


I had great ambitions to become a published author. I set out on my mission to publish my first book, and I did several years ago. The problem is that even though I did have my book published, the sales of that book only covered the expenses of what I paid the publisher. I did not make a large profit and became terrified to write another book. I knew I was supposed to write another bo…

Counselor's Corner: Enjoying Life Again After Trauma

*See articles, Healing from Trauma,Healing from Emotional Pain and Trauma and God, Why did You Allow this to Happen


If you have endured any type of trauma, learning to enjoy life again will part of your healing journey. For many people who have lived through traumatic experiences whether one time or recurrent trauma’s, the brain and body goes into a protective mode by shielding itself from any further danger. This protective mode is only supposed to last until you can cope with the initial shock of the trauma. I am sure you have heard of people who are described as going into “shock” when someone they love passes away. After the initial shock wear’s off, most people begin the healing process, but for some the trauma is too difficult for them to process and they remain stuck in the time that the trauma. Repressing trauma is seen frequently in people who have a history of past trauma’s such as childhood abuse. Other ways one does not deal with the trauma they experienced is through drug …