Counselor's Corner: When You Have Done All That You Can Do in a Relationship

Some relationships are difficult. Do you have a relationship in your life that you have done all that you can do to help this person, or tried mend your broken relationship with them and nothing has seemed to work? You may feel disappointed, frustrated, and you may feel like you failed this person. 

The closer you are to that person emotionally such as with a child or sibling, the deeper the wound goes. Maybe it is time to realize that you have done all that you can do to heal this relationship and that is time to heal your heart.

Relationships can be a great source of security, stability, and support, but strained and damaged relationships can be a source of stress in our lives.

Reflect and ponder: Are you frustrated in a relationship that you have been trying to fix and nothing thus far has seemed to work? Maybe you have tried to communicate and were meet with resistance or you have given excessively and what you gave was squandered.

Counselor’s corner:

·        A healthy relationship is reciprocal, meaning both give and take equally. When the relationship is unbalanced and there is more taking than giving, the relationship becomes strained. A strain on a relationship can break the relationship.
·        Don’t jump back into a relationship with someone just because they say, “I’m Sorry.” I’m Sorry, is a good starting point but it must be backed up with consistent action not merely words.
·        If you have given your time, money, and resources repeatedly and it does appear to help-Stop! Repeated hand-outs can actually harm a person in the long-run by causing dependency.
·        If you have tried to communicate and you have been shut down, ignored, or what you were trying to say was twisted-move on and pray that the Holy Spirit would speak truth to them.
·        When you’ve done all that you can do for that relationship, get your focus elsewhere. Look for opportunities where you can plant “seeds” in fertile soil.
·        Give that person over to God fully, and release them from your heart into God’s capable hands. This does not mean you give up someone, it means you’re giving them over to God.

Relationships should add value to our lives not stress and heartache. All relationships eventually will have some sort of conflict or disagreement, but healthy relationships talk openly about what has caused their conflict, and there is resolve quickly through mutual respect and understanding.


He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20

Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals.
1 Corinthians 15:33

Can two walk together, unless they agree?
Amos 3:3


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