Word of Encouragement from the Counselor’s Corner: Change Your Perspective

If you have endured a long season of hardships and setbacks, you may have already come to realize the circumstances in your life may not change but your perspective about them can.

A definition of perspective is a particular attitude or way or regarding something. Changing your perspective can change your attitude. How you react to your circumstances is largely based on how you perceive your circumstances.

Optimism is a choice! Being optimistic or pessimistic is something you become through your perspective of experiences. How can two different people experience the same set of circumstances and one chooses to look at the “glass half full” and the other person chooses to see the “glass half empty?” CHOICE. You can CHOOSE to play the victim, and believe if you just did not have this or that in your life your life could be so much easier. You can CHOOSE to blame others for your hardships. Or you can CHOOSE to take full responsibility for your life and stop blaming others for your circumstances. Flip every difficult circumstance in your life to see what is good and if you can’t see any good in your situation then began to thank God for how He is going to cause good to come from the bad in your life (Romans 8:28).

Be mindful how you speak about your circumstances. The words you speak will have a huge impact on your attitude, not to mention speaking out how you feel can give the enemy an open door to bring more trouble into your life. Retrain your thoughts and eventually you will rewire your brain. If you are not used to speaking faith and positivity over your difficulties, retraining your brain can seem foreign but watch and see how much better you begin to feel when you do!

Reflect or journal: What are you saying about your challenging circumstances? What or who in your life is causing you unrest? What is your attitude toward that circumstance or person? How could trusting God more in these situations alter your attitude or perspective?

Sometimes our trials can change for the better and other times we change how we begin to look at them. Perhaps you are a black and white think, either your situations are all bad or they are all good but what if you began not to just see the bad in a situation but the good?

Inner peace that comes from God does not have to reflect our outward conditions. If you are a child of God, peace can be with you at all times and everywhere! Accepting your life brings inner harmony. Be wise to know what you can change in your life and what you cannot, and accept what you can’t.

Change your focus. If your circumstances are beginning to pile up and you can’t seem to make any sense of anything, do something else. Take a mental break from thinking about your problems, and plug into something that is refreshing.

Changing your perspective about your difficult situations can cause you to have more peace, joy, contentment and improve your physical health.

Word of Encouragement from the Counselor’s Corner: Be Still as God Fights Your Battles

When we are facing trials our instinct can be to try and figure out how to solve our problems. If you are a natural problem solver like I am it can be most difficult to be still because in our minds “do nothing” as problems surround us may seem impossible. A natural problem solver wants to solve their problem quickly. Problems have solutions, so problems that seem to have no solutions are terribly upsetting to the problem solver. Resting and waiting on God to intervene in our problems can be frustrating to someone who is a natural fixer. Many times we believe God is slow in acting, or perhaps we believe we have a better solution than God so we go ahead and forge ahead with our plan.

When we wait on God He promises to renew our strength (Isaiah 40:31).

Take time to separate from all that distracts you and be still before God. Don’t have your agenda or your plans on how you think God should intervene, but sit quietly before the Lord and listen for His still, small voice. Get to a place that is quiet-your sanctuary where there is quiet. Begin to rest your mind and hand over your cares and worries.

To be calm does not mean that the storm is not around you, it means the storm is no longer with you. You can have peace in your storm. The storms may rage all around you but you are free from the effects of them. Your storms no longer trouble you because you know who you have trusted in the midst of your storms.

When conflicts come and they will, we can remain untroubled by them, at that point we can say we have truly experienced abiding peace. Peace does not have to come only when all your circumstances are great, but peace can come right in the middle of your storm. When we approach trials in our lives in a calm manner we can step back and see the bigger picture and keep a much better perspective in the situation that at the time may seem like it will drown you. Not only can we keep a calm mind during stormy seasons in our lives, but when we remain serene and composed it can help calm the fears of those around us.

We just need to be still and let God fight the battles for us. Being still does not mean excessive analyzing your problem, worrying, or trying to find solutions to your problems. If you have a problem and you have prayed and no answers seem to be coming your way, stop trying to figure out how to get your problem solved. Could it be God is working on your problem and needs you to step aside? 

Word of Encouragement from the Counselor’s Corner: How to Deal With Toxic Family

Families are supposed to be a place of support, love, and acceptance. Sometimes, however, family relationships can be the place where we experience the deepest hurt.

Sometimes we can spend years sacrificing our mental and spiritual health in harmful relationships under the notion that we have to because they are family.

Traits of a toxic person:

1.      Are abusive mentally, physically, sexually, or emotionally. When a relationship is based on manipulation, overt or covert; abuse is happening!

2.      The only contact you have with them is negative, or you get anxious of the thought of an encounter with them.

3.      The relationship creates so much stress affecting your work, home, and personal life.

4.      The relationship is one-sided, usually it is all about them and their needs.  

5.      When you do not give into their demands, silent treatment can happen and blaming.

6.      You feel worse after talking with them or being around them. They bring your energy level down.

7.      Create drama and chaos, and you get emotionally pulled-in to the whirlwind of emotions.

8.      You find yourself in a cycle of trying to fix, enable, and rescue them, and you end up frustrated because none has worked.

9.      Do not take responsibility for their actions, and blame others. .

10.  Create strife and division.

11.  Unforgiving and angry, sometimes even hostile.

12.  There is turmoil and confusion around them.

13.  Use others for their needs and benefits, regardless of the impact on others.

14.  Lie easily and it is difficult to know when they are telling the truth.

15.  Financially irresponsible, and expect you to bail them out of their poor choices.

If you have been involved with a toxic family member for years, letting go of them is not as easy as letting go of a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend. But letting go is what may need to happen so you can gain your sanity back, and allow God to intervene. Try first to set healthy boundaries with your family, and if they break the boundary you implemented; set a consequence. If the boundaries you set for them are repeatedly being broken, or you are not seeing any real change; it may be time to step aside. Letting go may be for a season and not permanent.

Know your limitations and realize we are not superhuman. Realize that a toxic person can drain your energy, health, well-being, and sanity. Detaching is not only healthy but may be exactly what you need to restore you. Because of our Christian teaching on humility, kindness, and self-sacrifice, we sometimes get the impression that to set boundaries and consequences is wrong. We believe that we must endure and take whatever someone dishes out on us. When we give someone permission to repeatedly sin against us without consequences, we enable them to sin. Sometimes the best thing we can do with someone who openly continues to sin is to part company with them. This process can help us to forgive them and pray for them regularly. A lot of the times if we stay engaged in a relationship that is toxic we can end up bitter, angry, and resentful. We are to keep peace, and one of the best ways to keep peace may be to detach in love.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

What suggestions do you have to deal with a toxic family member?

Word of Encouragement from the Counselor’s Corner: When Carrying the Burdens of Others Becomes Heavy

Most are familiar with the scripture from Galatians 6:2,”Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. “But what happens when this is out of balance, or you have a very tender heart and carrying other’s burdens makes you feel heavy?

 I thought it was my “Christian duty” to help, listen, and provide emotional support to WHOEVER needed it and WHENEVER they needed it. But, I was drowning while I was trying to uphold the burdens of everyone else. Burden bearers are sensitive people and can perceive the emotional distress and pain of others, they often “carry” the weight of what is being told to them. They also have a misunderstanding of the scripture form Galatians 6:2, and take that scripture to mean at all costs!

I am naturally a helper and I will give you all of myself even if I have nothing left to give. However, I realized some things, “Does God really want us to carry the burdens of everyone until we are sick or heavy emotionally?” I came to the conclusion that for me to maintain proper health, I could no longer do what I did before. There had to be changes to be made.

 I have learned to limit my time talking with people on the phone or in person, to save energy and boundaries with my time. I used to talk with people for hours, usually about their problems and needs. But now I limit how long I speak to others. I have limits and boundaries on my time, before I had none. If someone wanted to meet me to talk or to have lunch, I would find myself there with them all day, while they laid their cares upon me. People can usually sense when you are tender, caring, compassionate, and a good listener, and some WILL take advantage of that. Now, I will listen for a short time, and then offer to pray immediately. I have learned that sometimes talking it all out with someone drains me emotionally, but praying with them does not. I have also learned that sometimes others have to carry their own loads and be responsible for their lives. I cannot take responsibly for the actions of others. Sometimes, I do well in just carrying my own load, much less the loads of others. I have also learned that everything I hear or are exposed to, that I surrender it immediately to God. Then I wait on God, to tell me to what to do. Sometimes, it is simply to just intercede in prayer. I am learning not to feel the crushing weight that I do when I know someone is in pain or in trouble. How? By praying continually for relief and for their situation. I also ask God to cover me and shield me from all demonic exposure and false responsibly and heavy burdens.

 I am certain God does not want us carrying the burdens of others until we are wiped-out physically, mentally or spiritually.

We can listen to others, but don’t allow them to consume all your energy and time. If someone is going through a crisis, of course, you may give a little more of your time; such as when someone experiences a death. But when the same person, with the same problems wants to continually talk, and talk, and talk and deplete you of your energy; it’s time to put limits.

There are some people who are used by the enemy to wear you out and bankrupt you emotionally and spiritually. Ask yourself how you feel after you speak with them or are around them?

You will know because they have the SAME problems, they really don’t listen to anything you say to them, and you feel heavy, burdened, and exhausted after speaking with them.

Reflection Questions: What changes do you believe God is asking of you to enjoy your life and not be riddled with false guilt and heavy burdens of others?  Do you believe taking care of yourself is important? How is your emotional health? Physical health? Spiritual health? Do you tend to go around the “same mountains” with the same people? Is it time to release your loved ones to the only One who can help?

Counselor’s Corner: Traits Jesus is looking for in His Followers

Now when Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on a mountainside and sat down.

His disciples came to Him, and He began to teach them

The Beatitudes

He said:

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,

    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 Blessed are those who mourn,

    for they will be comforted.

 Blessed are the meek,

    for they will inherit the earth.

 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

    for they will be filled.

 Blessed are the merciful,

    for they will be shown mercy.

 Blessed are the pure in heart,

    for they will see God.

 Blessed are the peacemakers,

    for they will be called children of God.

 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,

   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:1-12

Reflect and ponder: Is your heart’s desire to look more like Jesus or the world?

Counselor’s Corner: This article is an in-depth look at each trait that Jesus discussed on the Sermon in the Mount.   Have reflection time after reading through each one. Though as followers of Christ we may not embody each trait perfectly, but our hearts must want to align with the traits. We then surrender what we cannot do on our own, and ask the Holy Spirit to align our hearts to His desires for us.

Poor in Spirit:

Poor in spirit is referring to our relationship with God. It is the opposite of arrogant self-confidence. It is the deepest form of repentance. It acknowledges our desperate need for God. We acknowledge we can do nothing on our own or in our own strength. When we come to God we must realize our own sin and our spiritual emptiness. We must not be self-satisfied or proud in our hearts, thinking we do not really need God.

“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

Mourning:

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. We can mourn for repentance, consequences of sin, over persecution, sins of God’s people and sincere concerns for the church. The Holy Spirit in us can grieve over our sins and the sins of others. So this type of mourning may be more referring to a spiritual mourning.

Meekness:

A Greek translation of meekness can be translated as gentle. Dictionary.com defines meekness as humble, patient or docile, gentle.

Synonyms for meekness: forbearing, yielding, unassuming, calm, soft. Ask.com defines meek as a word to describe one’s character meaning humble in spirit. It could also mean to have a feeling of patience, submissiveness, and humbleness.

In the Old Testament the meek are those wholly relying on God rather their own strength. Gentleness and meekness is the opposite of self-assertiveness and self-interest. It stems from trust in God’s goodness and control over the situation. The gentle person is not occupied with self at all.

Meek does not mean weak! Gentleness or meekness is not weakness, nor is it belittling of oneself. Gentleness can be described as a considerate or kind disposition, not harsh or severe; mild and soft and easily managed. Humble can be defined as someone who does not think they are better than, or more important than others. Humble means not proud or arrogant. A humble person never demands their own ways (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Humility is the opposite of pride, haughtiness, being puffed-up, boasting, self-will, self-glory, and self-promotion. Humility does not seek personal recognition. Humble people esteem others better than oneself. Humility is not timidity or a self-degrading attitude towards self.

Righteousness:

An important part of righteousness is that a person is honest, dependable, and trustworthy. One is faithful towards God and others. A righteous person will live morally upright, fair, and in an upright manner.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines righteousness as morally good; following religious or moral laws.

Synonyms: decent, ethical, honorable, just, moral, right, virtuous.

Antonyms: bad, dishonest, evil, evil-minded, immoral, indecent, sinful, wicked, unethical, wicked, unrighteous.

Greek words that are used to describe unrighteousness:

Anomia: Lawbreakers; Hamartia: Sinners; Atheist: Those who do not believe in God.

Unrighteous Acts:

Greed                           Not honoring agreements

Envy                             Not loving your family

Murder                         Not being merciful

Arguing                        Being sexually immoral

Deceitfulness               Worshipping idols

Gossiping                     Committing adultery

Slandering                    Practicing homosexuality

Not believing in God   Thievery

Pride                             Drunkenness

Bragging                       Insulting

Being angry                  Extorting

Being disobedient to parents

Mercy:

Mercy can be defined as compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one’s power to punish them. The Pharisees in their self-righteous judgments showed little mercy. The truly merciful are too aware of their own sins to deal with others in condemnation and judgment. The merciful person is sensitive to others needs. When we must judge another person we should be careful because we really do not know their situations and their hearts. Jesus, in the Beatitudes says that those who show mercy are given mercy.

Pure in Heart:

Meaning being clean or free from stains or shame; free from adulteration; it denotes a physical, religious and moral cleanliness. Being pure in heart goes deep. The Bible makes it clear that worshiping God cannot be an outward function, but must come from the inside (the heart). Being pure in heart means we are in right relationship with God and with others. We have to guard and preserve our heart. The pure in heart are those who seek to stay free from sin.

Peacemaker:

Peacemaking seeks to produce right relationships between persons. Those that sow discord, slander, and gossip are not peacemakers. Holding grudges, busybodies, and the disagreeable do not promote peacemaking. Peacemakers are needed in our homes, churches, and in the marketplace. Quarreling, arguing, and wanting to be right provides an opportunity for the enemy to cause division and strife.

Peace means tranquility, harmony; absence of strife. The Hebrew meaning, Shalom means peace. 

True peace never evades the issues by “sweeping them under the rug,” but deals with them by building the right bridges and moving through the pain until harmony is established. Sometimes the way to lasting peace includes addressing issues which will be painful to work through. Truth and righteous are just as important as peace. Jesus taught that sometimes faithful followers would cause strife with loved ones. Paul implies not all strife can be avoided when following Christ, however, we should do what we can to be at peace with others.

Persecuted:

The NIV states blessed are you when people insult you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of God. Jesus called those who lived out these traits blessed. To Jesus, blessed means the experience of hope and joy, independent of outward circumstances.

Barnes commentary notes on Matthew 5:10: Blessed are they which are persecuted. To persecute means literally to pursue; follow after. Here it means to vex, oppress one on account of one’s religion.

Counselor’s Corner: Inferiority Complex

A definition of inferiority complex is to lack self-esteem; feel inadequate; lack self-confidence; and feel second-rate.

God designed all of us differently, with diverse talents, gifts, and personalities. Yet, some struggle with feeling unworthy and comparing themselves to others. Some people believe they just don’t measure up, and no matter what they do it just not quit good enough. They are always second-guessing themselves, and end-up feeling that their opinions don’t really count.

Low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence is at the root of inferiority. Usually, someone develops low self-worth and lack of confidence in early childhood years. This could stem from being bullied, rejected, verbal/mentally abused, or repeated failures in a person’s life. Not knowing who you are in Christ can impact your feelings of unworthiness. Believing what others have said about you or the lies of the enemy can surely affect your self-esteem.

Reflect and ponder: What do you believe about yourself? Do you believe you are as worthy as others?

Counselor’s Corner: Believe the best about yourself, and more importantly what God says about you. There is no one else like you on earth, so stop comparing yourself to others. God knew what He was doing when He created you; you were no surprise to Him. Allow the Lord to bring you inner healing from your past, and uncover the roots of your inferiority. You are not what others have said and done to you.

Instead of believing what others have said or done to you, try trusting what God says about you. Say the below scriptures out loud every day until you believe them. Write out these and any other scriptures that speak to you on index cards, and place throughout your home and your car. Read the index cards as you pass by them. You are retraining your thoughts to line up with God’s truth about you. This is one of the best ways to increase your confidence and self-esteem, by knowing God’s thoughts towards you.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

"I am the body of Christ and Satan hath no power over me. For I overcome evil with good" (1 Corinthians 12:27; Romans 12:21).

"I will fear no evil for thou art with me Lord, your Word and your Spirit they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4).

"No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for my righteousness is of the Lord. But whatever I do will prosper for I'm like a tree that's planted by the rivers of water" (Isaiah 54:17; Psalm 1:3).

"Christ has redeemed (paid the price for our freedom) me from the curse of the law. Therefore, I forbid any sickness or disease to come upon this body" (Galatians 3:13).

"Christ has redeemed me from the curse of the law. Christ has redeemed me from poverty, Christ has redeemed me from sickness, Christ has redeemed me from spiritual death" (Galatians 3:13; Deuteronomy 28:15-68).

"Because I am born of God and His heir and more valuable than many sparrows, therefore I have great value. I honor and esteem myself highly, but I honor and esteem others more than myself" (Galatians 4:7; Matthew 10:31; Romans 12:10).

"The blessing of Abraham has come upon me through Jesus Christ and therefore whatever I do will prosper" (Galatians 3:14).

"Because God has shed His love abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit, I love God more than life and I love myself and others with the love of God. I put God first, others second and myself last." (Romans 5:5; Mark 12:30-31).

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens, enables and empowers me. There is nothing I cannot do through Christ for with God all things are possible" (Philippians 4:13; Matthew 19:26).

"I am the head and not the tail, above and not beneath" (Deuteronomy 28:13).

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Proverbs 18:21).

"Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything." (Proverbs 13:3)

Below are some scriptures with positive affirmations that you can always say out loud:

I take every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus Christ, casting down every imagination, and every high and lofty thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. (2 Corinthians 10:5).

As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is. Therefore all of my thoughts are positive. I do not allow the devil to use my spirit as a garbage dump by meditating on negative things that he offers me. (Proverbs 23:7).

I do not speak negative things about myself. (Ephesians 4:29).

I am very prosperous. I prosper in everything I put my hands to. I have prosperity in all areas of my life-spiritual, mental, financial, and social. (Genesis 39:3; Joshua 1:8; 3 John 2).

I am joyful always. (Thessalonians 5:16).

Counselor’s Corner: Do You Need a Fresh Start?

Has life been challenging for you and you feel you need a do-over? You may have difficulties in every area of your life-relational, occupational, mental/emotional, and even spiritual. Your way of doing things is no longer working, but you don’t know what to do differently either to make things better. You have begged and pleaded with God to answer your prayers and yet He seems so silent at times.

Reflect and ponder: Is your life working for you? Do you need a fresh start in life, but you don’t know how to get that? Are you frustrated because you have tried to “hit the resend button” and instead of moving forward you go backwards?

Counselor’s Corner:

How to start fresh in your life:

1.      Stop begging and pleading with God about your situations, He has heard you. Instead, get up every morning and worship God and sit quietly before Him-just sit at His feet not trying to get God to answer your prayers. Yes, it is good to pray, but after sitting at His feet first and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to you first.

2.      Let God have the battle you are in. Rest in Papa God that He IS COMING THROUGH for you, maybe not when you think He should or how you think He should come through. After you have worshiped and given God the praise He deserves, sit back and relax and watch Him come through.

3.      Get rid of your to-do list for God! He wants a relationship with you above anything you could do for Him. Sit with Abba more and let Him love on you a lot! When you allow Abba to love on you, it will be so much easier to love on others. Know His love first! Your first priority is not serving more and doing more, but spending time with your Daddy!

4.      Renew your mind by disciplining your thought life. Take every thought captive into the obedience of Christ. Don’t let your mind agree with the thoughts of the enemy, you do not have to accept every thought as truth! Speak blessings over your life not curses. Speak blessings over your enemies.

5.      Release everyone who has hurt or offended you.

6.      Maintain peace at all times and in every situation. Divine peace is warfare! When you keep your peace, the enemy is confused. Confuse the enemy with your constant peace.

7.      Begin walking by faith and not by sight, and call into existence those things that are not as though they are.

8.      Forgive yourself, completely! God has forgiven you, so you must follow what God has done.

9.      Love yourself and begin to nurture yourself. Be good to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes and don’t condemn yourself for the past-it over, so move on! No more self-hate, self-condemnation, and no more living in past regrets.

10.  Humble yourself. Admit you can’t do anything without God and you need Him desperately. Keep a humble, gentle and peaceful spirit with all that you encounter, never let anyone cause you to react negatively (greater is He that is in you than he that is in this world). Let no one stir your emotions to anger, offense, irritation, or bitterness.

11.  Get rid of all complaining, murmuring, criticizing, faultfinding and negativity. Be thankful and grateful every day, instead of rehearsing your complaints try instead to say what your blessings are.

12.  Accept what has changed in your life. Your life may not have what it had years ago, but dwelling on what is missing will cause you stay stuck. Accept your life, not wanting someone else’s life. Stop all comparisons to others, your neighbors, your coworkers, your family, etc. Embrace fully who you are and accept yourself! Be content with the lot that you have been given.

13.  Laugh more, dance in the rain and stop to smell the roses-ENJOY the life that God has given you!

14.  Give over your reigns to Christ. He is in control and trust His ways are good and best for you. Let go of all control.

15.  Wipe your slate clean-no more rummaging through your past and torturing yourself with all your failures, only take with you into your fresh start what worked and was a success (leave everything else behind).

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit. I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

Counselor’s Corner: Cease From Striving From Worry, Reasoning and Fretting

Your body is meant to be balanced in every area-physical, mental and spiritual. You can throw your body out of alignment by excessive worry, reasoning and fretting. When your mind has a negative thought and you don’t take that thought captive, that thought causes you to react and stress hormones are flooded into your body causing a host of problems-anxiety, sickness, weakened immune system and cardiovascular issues. Thoughts precede behavior, so if you think long enough about a problem or a negative circumstance your body will have a reaction!

A definition of worry is to give way to anxiety or unease; or to allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles.

Synonyms of anxiety:

Fret

To be concerned

To be anxious

Overthink

Brood

Panic

Lose sleep

Get worked up

Get stressed

Torment oneself

►Did you know that 75-90% of all doctors’ visits are stress-related?

►85% of what you worry about never happens and 15% of what does happen you can handle better than you thought!

Reflect and ponder: Are you in a state of unrest or unbalance? Could excessive worry, reasoning or fretting be responsible? Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “If I were God, I sure would do this?” You cannot trust someone that you do not know. You cannot trust someone to take care of you if you believe they are going to hurt you. What do you really believe about Jesus? Are you upset with Him for not taking care of you in the ways you thought best, and as a result you are not in a state of peace and rest? Do you feel God has let you down and therefore you need to take care of your own life? What do you really know about Papa God and His love for you?

Counselor’s Corner:

With excessive worrying, your mind and body go into overdrive and you constantly focus on “what might happen.” Chronic worry can affect your daily life that it interferes with your appetite, relationships, sleep and job performance.

-Physical Effects of Worry- WEBMD

If you have undergone high levels of stress, trauma, or any type of crisis; you may have unknowingly fallen into the trap of worrying. You may have become hyper-vigilant and super-guarded as a result of the chronic stress you have endured. Falsely, you may now believe if you can “predict and control” what bad events may occur-perhaps then they won’t occur. Worrying never solves anything, but you have learned overtime that by worrying you might can prevent something else bad from happening.

Worry is a sign of deeper anxiety. Get to the “roots” of your worrying. Very common this habit is born in childhood usually due to some type of abuse or trauma of being on the lookout for new trouble. Being on the lookout for troubles can be intensified as you grow into adulthood and more difficulties come your way.

One of the “root” lies that should be dismantled is,” I have to take care of myself, therefore I must find a solution to every problem in my life.” This causes much unrest and it is a result of not being able to trust the most important people in your life, and this got extended to Abba Father. In your mind if you could not trust your mother, father, sister, brother or your spouse than how can you trust God to take care of you? A person who feels that must solve their own problems and take care of themselves is always exhausted, burdened and full of anxiety. You were never meant to carry your load by yourself but life has said to you,” You must not lose control or give up control because if you do everything around you will fall apart.”

Deal with problems as they come, not as you perceive in your imagination what could happen. When you worry it ultimately says that you don’t trust God (and you may not), but don’t beat yourself up for this. God knows your heart and He does not condemn you. Go to the Father and tell Him how you feel and then repent of your fear for not letting Him have full control. Don’t begin to project what may come down the road, and for on-going problems in your life that tempt you into worry-daily surrender these to the Father and let go (daily) and let God take those cares (daily). God knows the trauma in your life that has caused you to live in worry, but He wants to heal you not condemn you!

Worry occurs when you have a problem that cannot be controlled or solved, and helplessness sets in such as when you have a child addicted to drugs and you don’t know where they are at or what they are doing. If you surrender each problem into God’s hands, you can have His rest and peace, but the problem is that many don’t prefer God’s will or His way of doing things. Many times it is hard to see that God’s ways are best. Other times, there is a lack of trust and patience with God. When you let go of the worry, God’s peace can rule over your anxious heart and mind. No one can predict what will happen, and no amount of worry will cause anything in your life to be better-in fact, worry will make things worse! Worry truly does not help, instead it sends signals through your body to be on high alert, and this in turn causes an unbalance though each major system in your body including your brain. Worry robs you of peace, joy, and living in the present. Worry is toxic. Toxic means poisonous or hazardous.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Peace I leave you; My peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Counselor’s Corner: God is Bigger than the Giants you Are Facing

The problem that is facing you may be large and may seem impossible to overcome, but God is bigger than what you are encountering. The enemy likes to magnify your difficulties, and by doing this your problems appear larger than they really are. When your problems seem larger than they really are, fear, anxiety and worry can overcome you.

Reflect and ponder: Do you have any situations in your life that seem impossible to overcome, or perhaps your circumstances seem larger than what God can do?

Counselor’s Corner: Let’s take a look at the story of David and Goliath for overcoming impossible situations or the “giants” in your life. The Israelite soldiers woke up every morning to hearing the relentless taunting of Goliath. The Israelite's focused on Goliath’s size-he was very large, a giant! The Israelite's listened to Goliath’s demeaning words and they knew they could not win the battle against him, so they did nothing. However, David spent time in the presence of the Lord, singing praises to Him and he continually spent time with the Lord. When David saw Goliath he did not waste any time in fear, but because he had been with the Father he knew who would be fighting for him. David knew he did not need any special weapons to fight Goliath because he understood that God would fight the battle for him.

Remember the story in the Bible in the book of Numbers where the Israelite's were to possess the Promised Land, but when the 12 Israelite's spied on their land before entering it and saw the giants…they ran in fear. However, Joshua and Caleb saw something different than the 12 spies. The 12 spies looked at the giants and knew there was no way they could win, but Joshua and Caleb looked at the giants and knew there was no way could not win!  When facing “giants” in your life, it is important to realize that God can do the impossible and remove that “giant” in your life. Having this kind of confidence that God will fight for you comes only from spending imitate time with the Father. Sitting every day at the feet of Jesus (in His presence) will equip and prepare you for your battles. When you spend quiet time with God, listening to the Holy Spirit there is no need to worry how to fight your battles because in God’s rest and His strength He will battle for you and he will give you strategies to win!

Yes, your “giants” are most likely bigger and stronger than you, but are they bigger and stronger than God?

Who are you focusing on more? The “giants” in your life or the King of Kings? Victory came for David and the Israelite's because David had spent time in the presence of the King, and this time prepared David’s heart that with God on his side no giant would be impossible to defeat.

What you focus on, you magnify!

Your problems may not change, but you can stop focusing your gaze upon how big your problems are and instead focus on how big your God is! Instead of focusing on your problems daily, CHOOSE to get up every day like David did and focus on God and His presence.

Guard your alone time with the Father. Distractions will try and steal your time with God. The devil sets you up to get you upset, because he knows that when you get emotional and upset you have a hard time hearing God.

Many times in your life you will face “giants” that seem impossible to conquer, but God promises in His Word that you already have the victory in Jesus Christ. At times God brings giants, storms and challenges so you so that you will grow in your faith.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” 1 Samuel 17:35

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. Exodus 14:14