Most are familiar with the scripture from Galatians
6:2,”Bear one another’s burdens, and so
fulfill the law of Christ. “But what happens when this is out of balance,
or you have a very tender heart and carrying other’s burdens makes you feel
heavy?
I thought it
was my “Christian duty” to help, listen, and provide emotional support to
WHOEVER needed it and WHENEVER they needed it. But, I was drowning while I was
trying to uphold the burdens of everyone else. Burden bearers are sensitive
people and can perceive the emotional distress and pain of others, they often
“carry” the weight of what is being told to them. They also have a
misunderstanding of the scripture form Galatians 6:2, and take that scripture
to mean at all costs!
I am naturally a helper and I will give you all of
myself even if I have nothing left to give. However, I realized some things,
“Does God really want us to carry the burdens of everyone until we are sick or
heavy emotionally?” I came to the conclusion that for me to maintain proper
health, I could no longer do what I did before. There had to be changes to be
made.
I have learned
to limit my time talking with people on the phone or in person, to save energy
and boundaries with my time. I used to talk with people for hours, usually
about their problems and needs. But now I limit how long I speak to others. I
have limits and boundaries on my time, before I had none. If someone wanted to
meet me to talk or to have lunch, I would find myself there with them all day,
while they laid their cares upon me. People can usually sense when you are
tender, caring, compassionate, and a good listener, and some WILL take
advantage of that. Now, I will listen for a short time, and then offer to pray immediately.
I have learned that sometimes talking it all out with someone drains me
emotionally, but praying with them does not. I have also learned that sometimes
others have to carry their own loads and be responsible for their lives. I cannot
take responsibly for the actions of others. Sometimes, I do well in just carrying
my own load, much less the loads of others. I have also learned that everything
I hear or are exposed to, that I surrender it immediately to God. Then I wait
on God, to tell me to what to do. Sometimes, it is simply to just intercede in
prayer. I am learning not to feel the crushing weight that I do when I know someone
is in pain or in trouble. How? By praying continually for relief and for their
situation. I also ask God to cover me and shield me from all demonic exposure
and false responsibly and heavy burdens.
I am certain
God does not want us carrying the burdens of others until we are wiped-out physically,
mentally or spiritually.
We can listen to others, but don’t allow them to
consume all your energy and time. If someone is going through a crisis, of course,
you may give a little more of your time; such as when someone experiences a
death. But when the same person, with the same problems wants to continually
talk, and talk, and talk and deplete you of your energy; it’s time to put
limits.
There
are some people who are used by the enemy to wear you out and bankrupt you
emotionally and spiritually. Ask yourself how you feel after you speak with
them or are around them?
You will know because they have the SAME problems,
they really don’t listen to anything you say to them, and you feel heavy,
burdened, and exhausted after speaking with them.
Reflection
Questions: What changes do you believe God is asking of you to
enjoy your life and not be riddled with false guilt and heavy burdens of
others? Do you believe taking care of
yourself is important? How is your emotional health? Physical health? Spiritual
health? Do you tend to go around the “same mountains” with the same people? Is
it time to release your loved ones to the only One who can help?
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