Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Counselor's Corner: What Kind of Realtionship Do You Have With Yourself?




You are with yourself more than anyone else, so getting to like yourself is important if you want to enjoy life.



Enjoying life will be most difficult if you think negative thoughts about yourself. What you think about yourself will affect how you experience life. You may think good thoughts about other people (and that is good), but if you think destructive thoughts about yourself, it will be almost impossible to enjoy these relationships. In fact, many people who do not like themselves will have a hard time being in a relationship with others.



Take a few moments and ask yourself honestly, what kind of relationship do you have with yourself? If possible journal or write out your answers.



·         Do you enjoy your company?

·         What thoughts run through your mind about yourself? What is your internal dialogue mostly like about yourself?

·         Do you beat yourself up for your mistakes and weaknesses?

·         Are you overly critical of yourself?

·         Do you laugh often and at yourself?

·          Do you take good care of yourself and treat yourself to the things you enjoy?

·         Are you concerned what others think of you?

·         Do you compare yourself to other people?

·         Are you proud of your achievements and accomplishments? Do you celebrate your victories?

·         Do you tend to think the worst not the best about yourself?

·         Are you your worst-own critic?

·         Can you name or discuss what you do like about yourself?




Let’s explore some reasons why you may think negatively towards yourself

1.      Negative, critical, upbringing.

2.      Any type of rejection in a relationship.

3.      Low self-esteem that could be a result of abuse, rejection, betrayal, and/or repeated failures in life.

4.      Believed the lie that God is punishing you or that you are not blessed like other people that you know.

5.      Others have spoken negatively about you and you believed what they said about you.

6.      Not able to see yourself the way God sees you, instead you magnify your faults and weaknesses. Have trouble believing God really does love you.

List any others reasons you may know of.



Now let’s explore some truths to help you enjoy being in a relationship with you…

1.      No one is perfect! You might have some weaknesses, faults and even some sins that you do want but they are a part of you for now. You are not just your weaknesses and sins but you have many other positive qualities that are greater.

2.      There is goodness in you and you are capable of being loved and giving love. You may have been wounded in the past and that keeps you from fully loving yourself and others, but you can start by loving you first.

3.      Not everyone will accept or like you, and that is OKAY! You can do everything right to gain a person’s approval and they still won’t like you. Stop today trying to prove yourself and worth to others, love yourself enough to move on to others who are capable of loving you the way that you deserve.

4.      Having a good relationship with yourself starts with your thoughts about yourself. You have to retrain your thinking to begin thinking good thoughts about yourself, even if you don’t initially feel those thoughts about yourself.



For additional tools to help you discipline your thought life so that you can begin to think differently about yourself, check out my new book release, Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!”



5.      Learn to treat yourself good and be okay with that! Treat yourself to a new outfit, a favorite book or a much-loved meal.

6.      Lay off being your own critic. Yes, you will have challenging days and will mess-up but stop criticizing yourself for every little thing that you do wrong. Start focusing on what you do right instead. Never get into the habit of thinking the worst before the best about yourself.

7.      Do not condemn yourself for how others have treated you or what they think of you. Passing judgment comes from God alone, so if others have judged you unfairly move on and hold your head up high.



What other things can you do to improve your relationship with yourself?  I would love to know what you think.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured Post

What to Do When You Are Disappointed

A relationship does not work out, a job does not go through, or your prodigal child that you have been praying for does not seem to lea...