As Christians we know to love others but we can find
it difficult to love ourselves. You can’t give something away that you don’t
have yourself. When you can fully love yourself, it will be easier to love
others.
Do you accept yourself, including your faults and
weaknesses or do you withhold loving yourself until you are a perfect version
of what you would like to be? Be aware that not everyone will love you and
accept you, but that does not mean that you cannot love yourself if others don’t.
Reflect
and ponder: Do you love yourself unconditionally, and
do you give yourself grace when you fail or make mistakes? Do you take care of
yourself and nurture yourself?
Counselor’s
Corner:
How to love yourself more:
1. Start
telling yourself what is good about yourself. What are your strengths? Your
victories? Focus more on your good qualities than what is wrong with you. Say
out loud while looking in the mirror daily, “I love myself.”
2. Do
not condemn, reject, or blame yourself when you do make a mistake. We all make
mistakes and have plenty of weaknesses. Give yourself plenty of grace when you
do fail. Ask God to forgive your sins, and make sure you forgive yourself.
3. Don’t
strive to be perfect because you will ultimately set yourself up for failure
and self-hate. No one does everything perfectly all the time-NO ONE! Be gentle
to yourself when you don’t do something perfect.
4. Stop
comparing yourself to others and wanting everyone’s approval-not everyone will
approve of you.
5. Stop
the mental negative self-tapes that are played in your mind to you to condemn.
Renew your mind with what God thinks of you, not what people think of you. Be mindful
of what you say to yourself as well, don’t repeat the lies of the enemy or call
yourself demeaning names.
6. Put
the “oxygen mask” on yourself first before attempting to help someone else. Set
boundaries as needed with needy and exhausting people.
7. Accept
and appreciate yourself just as you are, and come to terms with those aspects
that you can’t change-realizing that God will bring about the needed changes in
you in His time. Don’t stress about the parts of your personality that you can’t
change, God made you and your quirky personality.
8. Don’t
neglect your needs, if you need rest or a day to refresh-then do it!
9. Begin
to love yourself without any conditions, such as when I do this or stop doing
that than I can love myself.
10. Treat
yourself as you would your best friend, with compassion, empathy, kindness,
attentiveness and forgiveness.
11. Don’t
live in regret of your past or what you should have done or could have done.
God is love, so He wants you to love Him, your
neighbor and YOURSELF! Don’t neglect loving yourself, others will benefit from
you being kind, gentle and nurturing to yourself. You can exhaust yourself if
you give love to others and neglect loving yourself. When you don’t love yourself,
you don’t take care of yourself.-this includes rest, eating properly,
exercising, having fun and enjoying life.
MEDITATE
ON THESE SCRIPTURES:
For
no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ
does the church.
Ephesians
5:29
To
acquire wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish understanding will prosper.
Proverbs
19:8
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