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Hope & Encouragement for Women

Counselor’s Corner: Believing the Best about Yourself

We all have good qualities, strengths, and areas that we excel in, but when you believe the worst about yourself it can produce a negative outlook and attitude. Most do not intentionally desire to think the worst about themselves, but between failures, mistakes and the big one-what people think of us; these all can really hinder our ability to think good about ourselves.

When you do not believe the best about yourself, you tend to have faulty lenses that cause you to look at yourself negatively. God certainly does not view you in the worst, in fact, He sees you as valuable and worthy. The reality is no on is perfect, and most of us try the best that we can to be decent, upright, and respectable.

Many have been damaged by the actions and opinions of others. If we know in our hearts that we did not intentionally try and harm someone, and have sought forgiveness of the Father with any part we played; it would not be beneficial to continue to believe negative about yourself. Holding onto what you could have or should have done differently in a situation can lead to a negative view of self. We will fall short on occasions, but God’s grace and forgiveness covers those times. The problem becomes when we live in a continual state of thinking our mistakes define who we are. We are not defined solely by our mistakes, failures and sins. God bestows upon us His unmerited favor in times when we fail. When we honestly turn from our shortcomings, He can use our failures to help us grow and learn.

Reflect and ponder: Do you believe the best about yourself, even when you fail, make mistakes, or have a weak moment? Are you able to forgive yourself fully and completely the way that Christ forgives you?

Counselor’s Corner:

How you can believe the best about yourself:

1.      Write down your good qualities and strengths. Focus intentionally on your positive attributes.
2.      Accept yourself just the way that you are-failures, weaknesses, and all your shortcomings. This does not mean that you don’t ever desire change but your primary focus is embracing the reality of who you are.
3.      Forgive yourself completely of all your past regrets. Ask God to forgive you of any past or present sins and accept that God does not think of your sins and weaknesses any longer, so why should you?
4.      Surround yourself with supportive people, one’s who build you up and encourage you, not deflate and deject you.
5.      Watch your “self-talk,” Don’t agree with the lies that the enemy would like you to believe, and stop replaying your past failures and mistakes.
6.      Besides God, be your best “cheerleader.” Praise your accomplishments, speak good things about yourself, and believe God looks at your heart not just your actions. Stop condemning yourself for things that are already over and you have been forgiven for.

Scientific evidence points towards a significant link between how you feel about yourself and your overall health and sense of well-being. CHOOSE today to forgive yourself. Accept yourself and embrace the person that God created you to be. CHOOSE to believe the best about yourself.

Even if you have made thousands of mistakes and made really poor choices in your life, you are more than your flaws and failures. Look deep inside at your heart and see the person that you really are. Stop replaying what others have spoken about you, and start believe what God sees and thinks about you. You are so much more than all your faults. See past the wrong in you, and push through to see the goodness that God has given you. If you are a child of God, THERE IS GOODNESS IN YOU! If God believes that through Him you are good, than who are we to believe anything less?


But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14


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