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With God's help, I Provide hope and encouragement to women of faith through practical advice and tools. I blog about my personal experiences in overcoming trials, and I use my background in counseling to give tips and techniques to live a victorious life.
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Overcoming Your Past Emotional Wounds
anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold
all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Emotional mental abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, betrayal,
and bullying, can you relate to any of these words? Do you believe because of
those things that have happened to you that you are an inferior being that does
not deserve love? Some of our problems may be the result of things that
happened to us in childhood or even in our adulthood. We are products of our
environments to some extent. However, whatever has happened in the past to hurt
you, Jesus can bring healing emotionally and mentally to you.
Inner healing needs to take place, and when it does is
to never forget a hurtful or traumatic event, but where the Holy Spirit
identifies the problem area and removes the stinger from it. When this is done,
a person can look back on that wound, and see it in a different way; it will no
longer be painful to look at.
do you know you have emotional wounds that need to be healed?
always rise up. Feelings of anger, resentment, jealousy, hatred, etc. seem to
rise up at the slightest offense from another.
sensitive about your past.
forgiving others and self. It is difficult to love others, yourself, and to forgive.
receiving love. You may be surrounded by people who love you, but find it
difficult to receive their love. Have difficulty with God’s love.
out on others. An inner wound that has festered can cause you to lash out at
the ones who love you.
of anger towards God. When you have been wounded it is easy to blame God and
feel anger towards Him.
If you have been hurt/abused in your past, you may think what happened to you
is somehow your fault.
self-esteem. Do not feel worthy to receive love or have what others have.
usually fear of authority figures.
This can happen in the form of TV, alcohol, drugs, computer, shopping, etc.
frequent pity parties. Your past is such a strong identity to you, and you feel
compelled to tell others so that you will receive their sorrow.
expectation of others. Somebody who has been wounded set high and unrealistic
expectations for others and for themselves. There is an intolerance for the
mistakes of others.
If you have an emotional wound, it is likely you are performance driven. This could
stem from never being able to please a parent, and later on in life, that
rejection wound caused you to be a performer to the point where you are never
satisfied and burned out by your efforts.
overly driven. When you suffer from an emotional wound, it can create a sense
of void in your life’s meaning, thus driving you to find meaning and purpose.
This could be in the form of college degrees and careers.
you are going to receive healing from an emotional wound, you have to get
yourself the following questions:
is it that you blame or hate, and what was done to you? Be specific, and go
back as far as you can remember.
things from your past do you regret doing? In particular, be aware of why you
may have self-hate and unforgiveness of yourself. Are you excessively
embarrassed or ashamed about anything from your past? It is important to get to
the roots of why your wounds have still not healed.
It is important to settle in your heart that God is disappointed
with you or that He does not love you. Getting yourself to the place where you
know that God loves, forgives, and accepts you, is one of the foundations for
inner healing. Carrying around shame is a sure way to hinder the healing
process. One of the biggest keys to receiving healing is your perception of
God. Open up your wounds and give them to Jesus. If you hold your wounds in
darkness they will never heal. You need to take your “mask” off and expose it
to the light of Jesus Christ. Christ has taken our pain to the cross, and if we
transfer it to Him, He is waiting to heal our wounds. If you choose to carry
your own sorrows, it is usually because you do not believe or realize that He
carried your sorrows.
in your mind, Jesus’ sorrow and tears; as He wept beside you feeling the hurt
and suffering that you have.
Another key to inner healing is not to meditate or
continue to think about what was done to you. Once you have given it to the
Lord, don’t continue to think about how badly you were wronged. You will cause
emotional wounds to fester when you continually think about what was done to
you. Don’t deny what was happened to you, but once you bring it before Jesus;
then leave it with Him and let Him carry your pain. You need to make a firm
decision that you will not dwell on the things of the past, they need to be
“starved so that they can eventually die.”
Stop listening the the voice of the enemy. He will
remind you of your past wounds and why you should feel hurt and anger. The
enemy likes to stir up past emotional wounds to cause them to get infected
It can be tempting to desire hatred over healing. Do
you REALLY want to be healed? Would you rather see that person who hurt you
suffer and punished for their wrong?Jesus made it clear that if we want to forgiven, then we need to forgive
others. Stop blaming the person that has wronged you, because it is not what
they did to us that is keeping us in bondage; it’s our reactions to what they
did. You are not responsible for what has happened to you, but you are
responsible for how you choose to react. Blaming others will hinder the healing
power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. If you want to receive mercy in your
life, then you need to be merciful to those who have wronged you.
Forgiving yourself is vital to your inner healing, and
seeing yourself the way God sees you. Know that you are cleansed, washed in the
blood of Christ, and your past failures have been removed from your account. If
you continue to walk around beating yourself up, then you are denying the work
Christ has done on the cross.
God desires to heal our wounds and sorrows. Remember,
once you give God your pain and wounds; keep them with Him. It is very
important that you do not pick them back up by talking about them and dwelling
on the pain of the past. Let go, and let God.
If you have been married for any length of time you
know that marriage is hard work. As with anything successful in your life
putting time and effort are keys to how fruitful those things will be.
you did not have the proper role models growing up to show you how to have a
successful marriage, but you desire to have a healthy marriage.
God has brought you together with your spouse the greatest investment that you
can make besides your relationship with God is your marriage.
Anyone can have a dull, lifeless marriage, but a marriage
that is thriving takes certain elements to help it succeed. If you planted some
flowers but forgot to fertilize and water those plants they would eventually
become lifeless and die. Healthy marriages take the time to nurture and weed
out anything hindering their relationship.
Couples striving for a healthy marriage should first
ask God to cleanse their hearts of any unforgiveness, anger, resentment or
offenses of their spouse. Staying angry or rese…
you focus on the most will grow. The enemy will try to get
you to focus on what is wrong, what is not working, and what is worrisome to
you. When you lose your focus on what is
true, what is right, what is lovely and what is a good report (Philippians
4:6), you will begin to focus on the opposite of these.
to focus on the good will be a daily decision. When the enemy shows
you something that is causing fear, worry or frustration, turn away and CHOOSE to focus on the good.
→If your focus has been more on the negative lately
check to see who you have been hanging out with, what you have been reading or
watching on TV, and giving your attention to the most.
→An unthankful heart can cause you to focus on your
wants, but a heart of gratitude will cause you to focus on your blessings.
Distractions come to sidetrack you and get you to
focus on what the enemy has brought in front of you. Keeping focus on Jesus means deliberately
fading out everything that pulls you away from the…