For the perfectionist, nothing is never enough. The perfectionist is on a never-ending treadmill to never make a mistake, prove their worth and value, and never allow anyone to see their weaknesses. That sounds exhausting, and it is! Perfectionism can lead to all sorts of complications like depression, anxiety, stress, and alcoholism.
Perfectionist have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. The perfectionist is their worst own critic and judgmental to others. Usually, this tendency stems from a critical parent or other authority figure while growing up. The root of perfectionism is an unhealthy need for acceptance.
A perfectionist will seek to try and control variables and outcomes of their lives, seeking no room for any surprises. A perfectionist never wants to be caught unprepared. This is because the perfectionist needs to avoid any failure and mistakes.
12 characteristics of a perfectionist:
· If you agree with most of the statements below, you may be a perfectionist.
1. You are highly conscious and hyper-critical of making mistakes.
2. You desire to be the best at everything you do.
3. You see things through the “lenses” of black and white, with no grey areas.
4. You are extremely critical of yourself. You can beat yourself up over the smallest mistakes.
5. You over-analyze when things go wrong, and obsess over what you could have done differently.
6. You only see the end result. You love to make goals but only if you can complete them all.
7. You are very conscious of any situation where others may not perceive you as perfect.
8. You think “all or nothing,” meaning if you cannot do something right; you will not do it at all.
9. You hate any type of feedback or critical construction, unless it is all positive.
10. You define yourself by your accomplishments. A perfectionist can never have enough degrees, titles, or accomplishments.
11. You appear confident but you are actually afraid of failure.
12. You believe if you do not succeed at a task, that you are a failure.
Could you identify with the above questions? If so, maybe today is the day that you ask Jesus to set you free of perfectionism.
Perfectionism stems from fear; fear that you may be seen with all your faults and weaknesses. Give yourself permission to fail and to have weaknesses. Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
If you are ready to overcome perfectionism, begin today sincerely praying this prayer:
You know my tendency to be a perfectionist. Please take away at the roots why I act this way. Help me to love myself, forgive myself, and to have weaknesses. Lord, help me to rest in being the best that I can be, but not try and compete or compare myself to others. I ask that I would no longer have unrealistic expectations of myself and others. Please heal and deliver me from perfectionism. In Jesus name, amen.