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Hope & Encouragement for Women

What To do If Your Child Says, I'm Gay"

First of all as a parent you are not alone. Hearing that your child is gay is not an easy thing. Do you just accept it because culture says, “You were born that way?” Do you compromise your beliefs as a Christian?
Never give up praying for your child!

First of all don’t start quoting a bunch of scripture to your child. This will not help, even though it is truth. Be careful not to condemn them as a person. We all have sin in our lives, and sometimes the enemy has a greater hold on others. Spend time with your child without compromising your beliefs. Let your child know that you love them unconditionally, and that their lifestyle will not take away your love for them. Too many Christians are passing hate and condemnation over this lifestyle, but isn't sin, sin? Why categorize sin, God does not. Focus on your child’s strengths and that God did create them for His plan and purpose. You don’t always have to talk about their lifestyle. You can talk about things your child is doing in their lives. Encourage the good that you see in them.

As a parent the MOST important thing that you can do is pray. That is not to be underestimated. Prayer is your best choice is dealing with your child in this lifestyle. You, as the parent become an intercessor for your child. Be willing to never give up, even when it looks like the situation will never change. Be the praying momma or daddy. My son knows I pray for him, and most of all he knows that I love him. He knows where I stand Biblically, but we no longer get into long discussions about his life choices. I simply bring these petitions to the throne of God. Sometimes, I have to be alone and cry and speak with God privately about my heart’s desires for him.

Just because the culture says it is okay to be gay, does not mean you have to accept that. It also does not mean that you can do the opposite and demean and condemn your child. They are worthy and valuable and God died for them too. Focus on what is right with your child. Pray for ministers and people of God to be able to speak truth into their lives. Never give up on your child, even in the darkest hours. Love is powerful and a force that the enemy cannot reckon with. Yes, it will be hard at times, but are we not called to love as Christ loves? We can still love without condoning and compromising. How else would unbelievers come to Christ unless we show them the Father’s love?

Parents, take heart, this is a tough journey. If you are married, make sure you take date nights with your spouse regularly. Spend regular time alone with God, pour out your heart to Him. Cry when you need to and express your concerns to God. Pray day and night for your child, never stop praying. Take time for yourself and do something just for you. This is a long and sometimes tiring journey, so make sure you are taking care of you. Don’t focus solely on your child and their lifestyle, step away from the constant need to think continually about them and their situation. Take rest days when needed and unplug from email, Facebook, twitter and the phone. Reach out to a friend you can trust. And remember that you are not alone, there are so many Christian parents who are going through exactly this. There is also hope, I have personally known several people who have been delivered and set free from this lifestyle. It is not up to up to change our children, it is up to them to want to change, and of course Jesus can deliver any stronghold!


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