Counselor's Corner: Where has Your Focus Been Lately?

What you focus on the most will grow.

The enemy will try to get you to focus on what is wrong, what is not working, and what is worrisome to you. When you lose your focus on what is true, what is right, what is lovely and what is a good report (Philippians 4:6), you will begin to focus on the opposite of these.

CHOOSING to focus on the good will be a daily decision. When the enemy shows you something that is causing fear, worry or frustration, turn away and CHOOSE to focus on the good.

→If your focus has been more on the negative lately check to see who you have been hanging out with, what you have been reading or watching on TV, and giving your attention to the most.

→An unthankful heart can cause you to focus on your wants, but a heart of gratitude will cause you to focus on your blessings.

Distractions come to sidetrack you and get you to focus on what the enemy has brought in front of you. Keeping focus on Jesus means deliberately fading out everything that pulls you away from the goodness of God. Is this difficult to do? Yes, but with practice you can get so intentional about CHOOSING to turn your eyes and ears from anything that is contrary to the Kingdom of God that eventually this will become automatic to you. Focusing on seeing everything through the lens of Jesus takes discipline.

Discipline your mind to stop focusing on your needs, your family’s needs, and take those concerns to the cross of Jesus Christ leaving them there. Go about your day not focusing on what your problems are but how good God is and how He has heard your prayers concerning your situation.

Make the greatest investment in your life spending time in the presence of God instead of focusing on your problems.

The enemy will use people to come into your life to cause you to lose focus. Your focus can shift from faith to doubt when you deal with those who oppose the things of God. Don’t get so caught up with being overly concerned with people or what they think of you that you lose your focus on God’s goodness.

Reflect: Where has your focus or your attention been lately? Want joy? Want peace? Where is your focus? What is consuming your mind the most?

Resource: Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!

Review: Confident Identity: Christian Strategies to Forget Who You Aren't and Discover Who You Really Are

Confident Identity: Christian Strategies to Forget Who You Aren't and Discover Who You Really Are by Matt Pavlik
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Book Review for Confident Identity

Knowing why you were created and what your purpose is essential to having a healthy identity. So many people, however, do not know their identity or have a false identity. Confident Identity provides in-depth covering of all the components of how one can have a secure identity in Christ.

Author Matt Pavlik, is a professional counselor with a Christian worldview. After reading this book and going through the assignments, tools, and identity tests in each chapter you will have felt as if you spent time in a counseling office. There are reflection questions and “next steps” at the end of each chapter, just as if you would get homework after a counseling session. You will be encouraged to write your vision and mission for life, how many can say that we have done that? We need to know where we are going in life otherwise we can wander aimlessly through life, Author Matt Pavlik walks you through step-by-step as he guides you through uncovering your true identity which can only be found through Jesus Christ.

For people who have searched for meaning in life, or if there is a deeper purpose for them-this book covers in great detail that each person has a unique design and plan. There are innumerable resources in this book to take you further in learning and exploring your true identity. After reading Confident Identity, you will have a firm grasp on who you are and why you were created.

I would recommend to take your time with this book, do not rush through it because there is a lot of great material and resources you don’t want to miss. Go back and read the book again if you are unfamiliar with new concepts, and keep this book on hand as you will want to read it again in the future.




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Word of Encouragement Devotional: We All Have "Off" Days

Perhaps you can relate to this…Some days are smooth and you feel you get a lot accomplished. Other days, it seems you are barely motivated to get out of the bed in the morning. When we have “off” days things do not seem to go as planned, and those are the days we get challenged with distractions and all sorts of mishaps.

On those “off” days we can get discouraged and feel like giving-up because it seems like our challenges will not end. If you have a series of off days, discouragement can easily settle in.

Reflect:

What do you do when you are faced with those off days? Put the covers over your head and go back to bed. Hum, that seems reasonable after all, right? Or, you can get up and keep pressing forward believing that better days are coming. That is not some pie in the sky mentality, it is truth. Most of our difficulties eventually do come to an end, and the challenges that do remain for a long period God gives grace to walk through them.

Is it easy to keep moving forward when you have a challenging day or week? No! Don’t give into the negative chatter that says, “it will always be this way.” Those off days will come to all of us at some point, and we must make a choice ahead of time that when they do come we will change our thinking to,” better days are ahead.” Your only other alternative is to grumble and complain about your terrible, awful day; but I promise you will make your situation worse by doing this. Remember, no season or difficult day that you are having will last forever.

Meditate:

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Isaiah 40:29

Counselor's Corner: Healing Holistically From Trauma

→What is trauma?

A deeply distressing experience, or a very difficult or unpleasant experience that causes someone to have mental or emotional problems usually for a long time.

Trauma can occur one time like death, natural disasters or accidents, or trauma can be prolonged and repetitive like abusive relationships, family with addictions, or combat.

Trauma that causes the most mental health issues are prolonged and repeated traumas and trauma that occurs from people especially parent-child relationships.

→What is a traumatic event?

Extreme stress that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope and overwhelms a person emotionally, cognitively and physically.

→Symptoms of trauma:

·         Hypervigilant/guarded

·         Easily startled

·         Sensitive to certain noises

·         Feeling on edge

·         Depression/anxiety

·         Overwhelming feelings of guilt

·         Intrusive thoughts of trauma

·         Disconnected from others and difficulty trusting others

·         Difficulty handling stress

·         Emotional numbness

→Long-term effects of trauma can include:

·         Substance and alcohol abuse

·         Avoidance of anything related to the trauma

·         Depression

·         Anxiety

·         Dissociative disorders

·         Eating disorders

·         Difficulty with normal functioning such as work or relationships

Although the traumatic experience may be over, the person’s reaction may not be.

Healing from trauma takes time. Practicing self-care will be of upmost importance in recovery of trauma.

→Practical tips for naturally healing from trauma:

1.      Begin and end each day with God. Sit quietly before the Lord and allow Him to minister to your wounds. Pray that God would completely heal you from past trauma in your life and heal all memories associated with the trauma. If you a believer in Jesus Christ ask the God delivers you from the spirit of trauma and any other spirits associated with the spirit of trauma.

∙Pray the following prayer or use as a guide:

Father, I thank you that you are my healer and that you care about everything that happens to me. I ask you today that you would bring complete healing to all wounds associated with the trauma(s) I have gone through, and that you would wash over every memory connected to this trauma(s) with your cleansing and healing blood. Uproot every demonic assignment formed against my mind, body, soul and spirit. I ask that you would bind any spirit of trauma, spirit of torment, spirit of rejection, spirit of infirmity and spirit of anxiety by your authority, by your blood and in your name Jesus Christ, amen.

2.      Learn to breathe properly. Take deep cleansing breathes to relax tension and anxiety. Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly at least 3x. Repeat as needed.

3.      Exercise. Walk, run, bike, or whatever you choose.

4.      Talk to someone trusted about your trauma such as a godly friend, counselor, or talk to God honestly about your struggles.

5.      Get enough sleep every night-7-9 hours and have plenty of down time. Excessive amounts of stress that is triggered by trauma can cause your adrenals glands to not function properly thus tiring easily-adequate amounts of sleep and rest can help.

6.      As your body and mind is recovering and you are standing in faith for Jesus to bring complete healing try adding supplements and herbs to help with anxiety. Here are a few examples (not a medical disclaimer): holy basil, rhodiola rosea, green tea (supplement or tea), kava kava, chamomile, B-6, taurine, theanine, and l-tyrosine. There are many more supplements and herbs, check with a nutritionist.

7.      Avoid reminders of your trauma such as war movies or returning to the scene of a crime.

8.      Connect with safe people that you feel you can trust such as a small group at your church.

9.      Create as much safety and tranquility in the environment around you. Play soothing music, light scented candles, and try essential oils. Ask Jesus to bring His peace into the environment that you are in.

10.  Deal with your anger at God and with others. Write it out and talk it out if possible to God or to someone that you trust.

11.  Read out loud daily scriptures that deal with anxiety, worry, fear, and God’s protection.

Take baby steps. If you have been traumatized repeatedly or once, take small recovery steps and don’t expect yourself to take one giant leap and you are all better (there are times that God does heal instantly but usually we will have to go through the process).

Book Review for Breath of Life by Karen Ferguson. A #must-read if ur needing the #peace of #God

A must-read devotional for those who need the peace of God in their lives in the midst of stress and turmoil.

Breath of Life is a 21-day daily devotional that explores seven different elements of well-being for emotional/mental, spiritual, physical, social, vocational and financial health. Each daily devotional has insightful tips and tools such as questions for reflection, scripture versus for meditation and song recommendations to inspire you. There are even journal pages at the end of the book that you can jot down notes as your reading and reflecting.

What I love about this book is that the author, Karen Ferguson writes authentically her own experiences in the journey to wholeness and health such as with depression, anxiety, worry and burn-out. People-approval and needing the acceptance of others are topics covered in one of the daily devotionals, and how these can drain us of peace Tender subjects such as rejection, abuse and not feeling worthy of love are woven in the threads of this devotional as some of our greatest peace-stealers of our well-being. As the reader, the author makes you feel that you are not alone in the struggles you go through with balancing work, home, children and the likes. The author believes in a holistic approach to well-being, and thoroughly covers in each daily devotional how to live a healthier and peaceful life in balance.

As a Christian counselor and an avid reader, I would highly recommend this book to your small group at church, a book club, or for those who have struggled in finding peace in the midst of chaos and the unrelenting demands in life. I would also recommend this book to anyone in ministry or secular work who has experienced burn-out and need to know how to recharge and refresh.

Find Breath of Life by Karen Ferguson at Amazon and GoodReads.

 

Review: Breath of Life: Living God's Promise of Peace in the 7 Dimensions of Wellness

Breath of Life: Living God's Promise of Peace in the 7 Dimensions of Wellness by Karen Ferguson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A must-read devotional for those who need the peace of God in their lives in the midst of stress and turmoil.

Breath of Life is a 21-day daily devotional that explores seven different elements of well-being for emotional/mental, spiritual, physical, social, vocational and financial health. Each daily devotional has insightful tips and tools such as questions for reflection, scripture versus for meditation and song recommendations to inspire you. There are even journal pages at the end of the book that you can jot down notes as your reading and reflecting.

What I love about this book is that the author, Karen Ferguson writes authentically her own experiences in the journey to wholeness and health such as with depression, anxiety, worry and burn-out. People-approval and needing the acceptance of others are topics covered in one of the daily devotionals, and how these can drain us of peace Tender subjects such as rejection, abuse and not feeling worthy of love are woven in the threads of this devotional as some of our greatest peace-stealers of our well-being. As the reader, the author makes you feel that you are not alone in the struggles you go through with balancing work, home, children and the likes. The author believes in a holistic approach to well-being, and thoroughly covers in each daily devotional how to live a healthier and peaceful life in balance.

As a Christian counselor and an avid reader, I would highly recommend this book to your small group at church, a book club, or for those who have struggled in finding peace in the midst of chaos and the unrelenting demands in life. I would also recommend this book to anyone in ministry or secular work who has experienced burn-out and need to know how to recharge and refresh.

View all my reviews

Review: Breath of Life: Living God's Promise of Peace in the 7 Dimensions of Wellness

Breath of Life: Living God's Promise of Peace in the 7 Dimensions of Wellness by Karen Ferguson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars



View all my reviews

Word of Encouragement Devotional: Why Don't I Fit In?

Do you sometimes feel there is not a certain group that you fit in to? Groups can make you very aware of how different that you are. Perhaps you have always felt a little different from the rest, and have wondered why you just can’t conform and fit in.

I had my one and only child when I was sixteen, so I am a woman in her early forties with a grown son; an empty nester. I don’t know any women my age who are already empty nesters, the families on my street are in their late thirties and early forties with young children. Even in my church I have a few women that I know who have undergone some of the same struggles as I have with my adult child, but these women are several years older than I am. I don’t fit into a one particular race, and people often wonder or even ask me what my ethnicity is. I am married, so you can say I can fit into the married couple group, but I still have a difficult time with fitting into couples our age because their children are so much younger than ours.

Can you relate to my above experiences? Perhaps your experiences are a little different than mine, but you can relate to wanting to fit in somewhere fully.

A sense of belonging and acceptance is imperative to everyone’s basic emotional needs. You can still attend church and feel that you don’t belong. Yes, we are the Body of Christ and should feel accepted among fellow believers, but that does not always happen. Our true belonging and acceptance comes from Jesus. Maybe no one has ever told you that you may not fit into a particular group because God designed it that way! I did not like the idea of not being able to say I don’t belong fully to one group, but God has showed me that my ability to blend in most settings and communities is a gift! That’s right a gift, when you can be fluid and have the ability to go into communities, ethnicities and into people’s lives that are broken because you understand what it is like to be differnt-that’s a gift! Not everyone can do this!

Embrace your uniqueness, because God designed you that way. Stop trying to fit in, and be honored that God has chosen you to be His hands and feet among the lest of these, among varying ethnicities, and among the broken and down-trodden.

A Brief Overview of the New Book, "Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!"

Some questions you may have before you purchase a copy of “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!”

·         Why is “Disciplining your mind 30days to a better you!” a good investment?

·         Where can I purchase a copy?

·         Who would benefit from this book?

·         Are there any promotions or free offers?

Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you is not like most books, it is a comprehensive approach to overcoming negative mind-sets written by a Christian counselor and using real life experiences to bring the “points home”. To get the most from this book it is important to read one chapter at a time applying what you have learned. Many people read through the book once, and then go back and “do the work” in each chapter.

Do you have trouble with negative thinking, depression, anxiety, defeat or discouragement? If so, “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!” is for you! The author and counselor of this book will give you practical tools to help you not only understand why you think and/or feel the way that you do, but will also give you real help to identify and defeat the negative thinking that encompasses your life.

The author and counselor of “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!” writes authentically and genuinely using practical examples from her own life experiences.

Changing ingrained thought patterns takes time, but it is a worthwhile investment of your time and energy. Readers of this book should reap the benefits almost immediately if what is taught throughout the book is applied.

Are you ready for a new you? Start today! Increase your peace, your joy, overall contentment, your energy, and health by disciplining your mind and thinking the thoughts that are life-giving.

►Where to order your copy of “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!”  http://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-R.-Reck/e/B07885C5QM

You can order an eBook Kindle from Amazon for only $4.99, or if your “old school” like me you can still get the paperback for just a few dollars more.

→Who would benefit from “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better   you!” Small groups at church, book clubs, individuals who want a better life and freedom from a negative mind-set, and as a resource for Christian counselors and other ministries to have on hand to give clients who need tools for living a disciplined thought life.

→Like Giving Back? All Book purchases for “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!” go directly back into the ministry to help continue to give hope and encouragement to the body of Christ.

►Promotions and FREE OFFERS:

If you read “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!” and it did help you, write a review for Amazon and you will qualify for (1) FREE Email counseling session with the author and counselor of this book.

In Email counseling you get to send your top (3) questions, concerns, and/or issues and a detailed response will be sent to the email that you give.

To qualify send an email to hopeandencouragment4women@gmail.com with a forward copy of your book review for Amazon with your email you want to be contacted for your Email counseling session.

Counselor's Corner: Contending For Your Destiny

You know that God has a plan for your life, but you have not been able to reach your full purpose yet? You must know how to contend for your destiny to fulfill what God has in store for you.

We all have been created with a purpose and to fulfill God’s destiny for us. When we walk in our destiny or our created purposes, the Kingdom of God gets advanced. Walking into our destiny usually comes with a battle from the kingdom of darkness.

How to contend for your destiny:

1.      First and most importantly, know what your created purpose is. Everyone has a purpose, and if you do not know yours take some time and ask the Lord to reveal to you why He created you. Write down your strengths, your weaknesses, prior jobs that you had and enjoyed, and your greatest struggles and triumphs. Listen to what other people say about you consistently such as, “you’re always such an encourager.” What are your spiritual gifts? God will take your talents, gifts, personality, experiences, and He will use your strengths for your created destiny. God will even use your trials, struggles, and heartache for good.

2.      Write down what you believe your destiny is. Speak daily your destiny over yourself. Even if you cannot perceive how and when your destiny will unfold, believe by faith that God has set you on the path to your purpose.

3.      Understand that there are no small opportunities to advancing to your destiny. Small opportunities lead to bigger opportunities. Do not get discouraged if you do not feel you are not fully walking in your destiny, every small step that you take can lead you to your destiny.

4.      Recognize that you will be tested repeatedly as to your faithfulness to your calling and especially to your loyalty and love to Jesus. This testing is extremely beneficial as you fully walk into your destiny. It is better to get tested now and develop spiritual maturity, perseverance, steadfastness, and an overcoming spirit than to abort your destiny because you cannot handle the pressure.

5.      Be aware that you will be refined until there is nothing in your character that could hinder fulfilling your destiny. Anything that needs to be purged out of your mind, soul or emotions that does not reflect the Glory of God-will be purged out! Nothing will be remaining in you that could be corrupt, immoral, or contentious to the things of God. Some people do not allow God to refine them because to be frank, it can be painful. If you do not allow God to take you through the tests and refinement before stepping into your destiny, you will take an enormous chance of hurting others because of your immaturity, backsliding into sin because you could not handle the pressures, or not finishing what you were called to do because you lack perseverance and steadfastness.

6.      You must let God heal and uproot emotional wounds. Invest in spending intimate time with the Lord daily as He ministers and heals your heart. Your broken heart must undergo the ‘heart surgery” from the great physician before you can fully enter into your destiny. Remember, hurting people hurt people. Don’t run from your pain but let God expose and mend all your broken areas, then you will be much more capable of ministering to others who are in need of repair. If your destiny does not involve directly working with others, still allow God to mend any broken areas so that you can be as productive as possible. You will still be taking small steps towards your destiny as God is mending your heart and emotions.

7.      Spiritual opposition will come to discourage, delay or completely stop you. If one day it feels like you have taken two steps back or what could go wrong does, regroup again and move forward. This is where you learn about persistence and perseverance. Battles are not won all at once but one victory after another.

8.      There are those sent into your life as destiny destroyers. They come into your life to hinder and weaken your calling, usually when you are about to move forward into your destiny. Recognize and be aware of who the enemy uses as destiny destroyers in your life. The greater the destiny, the greater the warfare will be. You must know how to employ the right spiritual warfare. We battle against not flesh and blood but against principalities and rulers of this dark world. You will need to become a spiritual warrior and know how to be victorious over the attacks the enemy sends to you to defeat, discourage and stop you.

9.      Don’t curse your destiny. Speak life and truth about your destiny not words like, “I am such a failure I can’t do that.”

10.  Do something everyday towards your destiny, but remember it is God who opens and closes doors that no man can. Just be determined to do your part and let God do His part.

11.  Face your “giants- “fear, worry, doubt. Overcome and subdue your giants with Christ until they become smaller than the God that is in you. You must not cower in fear to your giants but you need to learn to conqueror each one. You must believe that you are a weapon of war, trained by God to make the enemy a footstool until the return of Christ. You must understand your authority over the kingdom of darkness and take dominion over all that God has given you.

12.  Keep focused as distractions come to derail you from what you should be doing. Distractions can come in many forms, and some are sent from the enemy.

Your destiny unfolds overtime. Knowing God’s timing is crucial. There are times we will be tested, times of learning about spiritual warfare, times of strength training, times we learn about perseverance and persistence, and times we know we are to go forward.

What do you believe your God-given destiny is? Are you ready to contend for your destiny?

Loving and Accepting Others

Happy Valentine’s Day! This article is all about love, so enjoy!

Do you have trouble loving others who may be doing things that are unacceptable to you? Do you tend to judge or think thoughts like, “I would never behave like that?”

I never knew how to love others right where they were at. I wanted people to “get their acts together and turn from their sin immediately.” God has taught me it is not always as easy for people to give up their drug of choice, their sexually immoral lifestyle, or whatever sin they may be wrapped in.

BUT if we can get honest for a moment, we all have things in our lives that God is working on, the only difference is some sin you can see in the open and that’s the sin that is judged-open sin. Why? It’s right there in your face so you can theorize why people do what they do. However, is hidden sin or sin that you keep secret different? I should say not, but far too may Christians live one way in “church” and another way behind closed doors. As Christians if we want to be an example of Christ’s love, we need to stop judging where people are at in their lives.

So, what does accepting and loving others look like in a compromising culture?

1.      You never compromise with the sin, such as if a person has trouble with gambling you should not go to the casino with that person, or if your sibling who is unmarried wants to bring their boyfriend to an overnight visit, you should politely decline but have them over for dinner instead.

2.      Do not judge why someone does what they do. Judging means you place assumption over a person’s behavior and actions. Do you ever really know why a person does what they do? Unless you plan on developing intimate relationships and getting to know the why behind why others do what they do-don’t falsely pass wrong convictions.

3.      Never, ever shun someone (reject, belittle, talk down to) someone who lives and behaves differently than you, even the ones who you just cannot wrap your mind around why they behave the way that they do.

4.      Spend time with the person or people whom you would rather judge. Be the light to them. Be an influence for good. Speak words of edification, life, and encouragement over them. Build them up, not tear them down with your words.

5.      Don’t “preach”, give “scriptures”, or continually invite them to your church. There is a time and a place for this, but most people are “checking” you out at first and want to know they can trust you and that you are the “real deal.”

6.      Always find ways to point them to Jesus, preferably with your actions more than your words.

7.      Always believe God can touch and heal the person that is far away from God.

For many people that are away from God or doing repulsive things in the sight of God usually stems from a wound issue in their past, or issues with their father that have not been resolved. Be gentle, loving and always show the way to the Truth by your example of the Light.