Counselor's Corner: Do You Like Yourself?

You are with yourself more than anyone else, so getting to like yourself is important if you want to enjoy life.

Enjoying life will be most difficult if you think negative thoughts about yourself. What you think about yourself will affect how you experience life. You may think good thoughts about other people (and that is good), but if you think destructive thoughts about yourself, it will be almost impossible to enjoy these relationships. In fact, many people who do not like themselves will have a hard time being in a relationship with others.

►Take a few moments and ask yourself honestly, what kind of relationship do you have with yourself? If possible journal or write out your answers.

 

Do you like being you?

·         Do you enjoy your company?

·         What thoughts run through your mind about yourself? What is your internal dialogue mostly like about yourself?

·         Do you beat yourself up for your mistakes and weaknesses?

·         Are you overly critical of yourself?

·         Do you laugh often and at yourself?

·          Do you take good care of yourself and treat yourself to the things you enjoy?

·         Are you concerned what others think of you?

·         Do you compare yourself to other people?

·         Are you proud of your achievements and accomplishments? Do you celebrate your victories?

·         Do you tend to think the worst not the best about yourself?

·         Are you your worst-own critic?

·         Can you name or discuss what you do like about yourself?

Let’s explore some reasons why you may think negatively towards yourself…

1.      Negative, critical, upbringing.

2.      Any type of rejection in a relationship.

3.      Low self-esteem that could be a result of abuse, rejection, betrayal, and/or repeated failures in life.

4.      Believed the lie that God is punishing you or that you are not blessed like other people that you know.

5.      Others have spoken negatively about you and you believed what they said about you.

6.      Not able to see yourself the way God sees you, instead you magnify your faults and weaknesses. Have trouble believing God really does love you.

List any others reasons you may know of.

Now let’s explore some truths to help you enjoy being in a relationship with you…

1.      No one is perfect! You might have some weaknesses, faults and even some sins that you do want but they are a part of you for now. You are not just your weaknesses and sins but you have many other positive qualities that are greater.

2.      There is goodness in you and you are capable of being loved and giving love. You may have been wounded in the past and that keeps you from fully loving yourself and others, but you can start by loving you first.

3.      Not everyone will accept or like you, and that is OKAY! You can do everything right to gain a person’s approval and they still won’t like you. Stop today trying to prove yourself and worth to others, love yourself enough to move on to others who are capable of loving you the way that you deserve.

4.      Having a good relationship with yourself starts with your thoughts about yourself. You have to retrain your thinking to begin thinking good thoughts about yourself, even if you don’t initially feel those thoughts about yourself.

→For additional tools to help you discipline your thought life so that you can begin to think differently about yourself, check out my book, “Disciplining your mind 30 days to a better you!”

5.      Learn to treat yourself good and be okay with that! Treat yourself to a new outfit, a favorite book or a much-loved meal.

6.      Lay off being your own critic. Yes, you will have challenging days and will mess-up but stop criticizing yourself for every little thing that you do wrong. Start focusing on what you do right instead. Never get into the habit of thinking the worst before the best about yourself.

7.      Do not condemn yourself for how others have treated you or what they think of you. Passing judgment comes from God alone, so if others have judged you unfairly move on and hold your head up high.

What other things can you do to improve your relationship with yourself?  I would love to know what you think.

Counselor's Corner: Bringing Your Life into Balance

Have you noticed in your life that when you get too little or too much of something, your life gets out of balance?

→There are many ways that your life can get out of balance. Check as many that apply          to you:

·         Work demands

·         Extended family obligations

·         Church functions and/or volunteer opportunities

·         Watching too much TV, texting/checking emails constantly and/or social media

·         No time for fun or relaxation

·         Giving of self to others when your “cup is empty”

·         Little quality time with spouse

·         Eating too much junk food

·         Little or no exercising

·         Time spent with God is little or infrequent

Any others that may apply to you?

Life happens and sometimes curveballs come your way and you get completely out of balance. The goal is then to not stay out of balance.

Recognize the signs of being out of balance so that you may immediately get back in balance.

Signs you are out of balance:

1.      Tiredness, excessively sleepy or fatigued.

2.      Difficult concentrating or staying focused.

3.      Short-fused, irritable and/or easily frustrated.

4.      Feel tense; back and/or neck pain.

5.      Trouble laughing or smiling.

6.      Find yourself complaining and grumbling more.

7.      Difficulty enjoying the simple things of life.

8.      Overall just do not feel well.

9.      Experience high levels of stress.

How to get your life back in balance:

·         Recognize when you are out of balance.

·         Place God first above all. Spend daily time with God.

·         Prioritize what is most important-God, spouse, family, work/ministry.

·         Take a Sabbath (rest) once a week. That’s right, once a week, relax and do nothing stressful or work related.

·         Take a day off of work, or a long weekend.

·         Start exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet.

·         Be okay with saying, “No,” when you need to, and don’t feel bad when you have to!

·         Do something that you enjoy.

·         Decrease time with energy-draining people and increase time with others who inspire, encourage and lift you up.

·         Set limits on your time-phone calls, texts, emails and social media.

You will know when you are back in balance when your heart rate, breathing and blood pressure are normal. Your sleep is restful and replenishing. You have energy, have motivation and have creativity again. You do not feel tense, stress or anxiety. You are able to laugh and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

Counselor's Corner: How to Break Free from Demonic Cycles

A cycle is something that gets repeated over and over again, usually with the same results.

There seems to be a “force” that pulls you into the same direction that you have tried desperately to get free from. Many people give up when negative cycles continue to happen in their lives because of discouragement that things will not get better.

There are bad habits you may have that seem to come in cycles such as over-indulging in eating or forgoing exercising again. Then there are demonic cycles that when you step back and evaluate the course of your life the same things keep getting repeated in your life to hinder your progress, growth and purpose in the Kingdom of God. In other words, you keep going around the same “mountains” over and over again and you never seem cross-over into your “Promised Land.”

How do you know if what you are experiencing is a bad habit or a demonic cycle? If the cycles that you go through are centered around getting you to question the goodness of God, His faithfulness, His love for you, have a desire to walk away from your destiny, and if you feel like giving up on life. Discouragement, hopelessness, weariness and oftentimes infirmity surround these demonic cycles. Demonic cycles come only to destroy your faith, your growth and progress, and your destiny.

If you have noticed that every couple of months or so you “battle” the same type of cycles in your life? It is time to take note and realize these are strategies from the pits of hell to derail your faith and squash your assignment from God.

Demonic cycles always come to sabotage any good works that are in your life. Demonic cycles do not have to be tolerated in your life!

How to break free from demonic cycles:

1)      Know your weaknesses and who and what the enemy uses time and time again to disrupt the good that God is doing in your life. Ask yourself is it the same people or similar circumstances that come in cycles to cause you to go back and not move forward? Make a list of your cycles that you need to break free from. Begin declaring victory in Jesus over every cycle until you are completely free.

2)      Watch what you think and say about the situations and people that keep occurring in cycles in your life. Instead of saying,” My grandfather and uncle were addicts so I guess my family will always struggle.” Generational cycles of poverty, failure, addiction, sickness, and mental illness can be broken by not speaking what you have seen all your life as reality but by confessing the Word of God over your family and circumstances, and speaking the opposite of what you have known to be true.

3)      What do you say and believe about yourself consistently, such as when you make a mistake, or do you have a habit of telling yourself, “I can’t do anything right, I fail every time so I will quit trying.” When you mess up and your weaknesses show, what do you believe about yourself? Start telling yourself that failure happens to all and everyone has weakness but you will try again. Many people have cycles of failure that they are not able to recover from. Cycles of failure should be evaluated in terms of what was your part and responsibility and then what part the enemy has played to keep you believing you will not succeed.

4)      Speak to your cycles and tell them that in the name and blood of Jesus Christ they will not be able to manifest in your life ever again. For example, “In the name of Jesus Christ and by His blood I command the cycle of failure to never manifest in my life ever again.” Decree and declare that old cycles that have held you in captivity will break and that you will come out of those cycles in the name of Jesus Christ. Decree and Declare everything in your past be repaired and restored so your future can be unlocked.

5)      If you have repeated cycles of sin in your life there may be a generation stronghold/sin that you need to break. Repent for not only your sins but your family’s. Ask God to clean your heart of all unforgiveness, bitterness and anger at anyone and even God.

6)      Are you repeating the same types of issues because you have not obeyed God and are doing things your way? How long do you have to go through the same problems before you learn your lesson?

7)      What is your mind-set like? Do you believe for more bad news, more troubles or do you believe and confess God’s truths? The enemy will join you in your self-sabotage thinking and speaking and you will stay trapped in demonic cycles by what you are confessing.

In Summary…

Recognize and write down your repeated cycles.

Confess the opposite of your cycles.

Decree and declare that in the name of Jesus Christ that old cycles that have held you in captivity will break.

Decree and declare victory in Jesus Christ over all cycles in your life (name the cycle and declare victory in Jesus over each cycle until complete victory manifests).

Confess and repent your sins as well as your generational line and ask God to cleanse your heart.

CORRECTED UPDATED POST of Breaking Generational Strongholds in Your family

Have you noticed in your family the same or familiar patterns of behavior occurring over and over again with different family members? These are generational strongholds or sins that have been passed down from one generation to another.

Generational strongholds are repeated patterns of sins in a family such as with addiction, idol worship, divorce, lying, and sexual immorality.

The enemy does not want anyone in the family system to begin to recognize familiar patterns of sin. Why? Because if just one person in the family repents and begins to turn from generational inequities the power to touch future generations will be demolished. However, much resistance from the enemy will come to the one or the few in the family who turn from generational wickedness.

There will be seasons and times for the ones that have chosen to break-free from generational strongholds, that strong opposition will occur.

This opposition comes mainly for two reasons:

One, to get you to go back to your old lifestyle, or to your former ways of living godless. Second, to torment you with that the others in your family that are still under the generational strongholds will not be set-free.

Generational strongholds can only be broken by turning away from your sin, and choosing to walk in a different direction than what may have been passed down generationally to you.

You must be aware of what strongholds are in your family, repent, turn from them, and choose to follow after the Spirit not your flesh. Will doing this be difficult? Yes! Without a doubt, breaking free from generational sins will not be an easy task. Will the enemy try and seduce you back to the familiar, or what you grew-up around? Yes! Be on guard for when you are around people in your family who are still under bondage to generational sins, and make sure to go to your quiet place afterwards and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Those pesky demons that are still attached to some of your family may try and speak to you, so you must get alone with the Father to be still and hear His voice.

→Reflect:

Do you know the generational strongholds in your family? Have you turned from these sins and began living a different way? Have you confessed these sins in your family?

If the enemy comes lurking to persuade you to go back into the familiar ways of what you were raised around, remind yourself that you are a new creation in Christ and your former self is no more.

The younger generation is looking to you, be an example to them how to follow Christ and overcome generational sin.

→Meditate:

So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I, the Lord…visits the inequity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments (Exodus 20:5; Numbers 14:18).

Counselor's Corner: Breaking Generational Strongholds in Your Family

Have you noticed in your family the same or familiar patterns of behavior occurring over and over again with different family members? These are generational strongholds or sins that have been passed down from one generation to another.

Generational strongholds are repeated patterns of sins in a family such as with addiction, idol worship, divorce, lying, and sexual immorality.

The enemy does not want anyone in the family system to begin to recognize familiar patterns of sin. Why? Because if just one person in the family repents and begins to turn from generational inequities the power to touch future generations will be demolished. However, much resistance from the enemy will come to the one or the few in the family who turn from generational wickedness.

There will be seasons and times for the ones that have chosen to break-free from generational strongholds, that strong opposition will occur.

This opposition comes mainly for two reasons:

One, to get you to go back to your old lifestyle, or to your former ways of living godless. Second, to torment you with that the others in your family that are still under the generational strongholds will not be set-free.

Generational strongholds can only be broken by turning away from your sin, and choosing to walk in a different direction than what may have been passed down generationally to you.

You must be aware of what strongholds are in your family, repent, turn from them, and choose to follow after the Spirit not your flesh. Will doing this be difficult? Yes! Without a doubt, breaking free from generational sins will not be an easy task. Will the enemy try and seduce you back to the familiar, or what you grew-up around? Yes! Be on guard for when you are around people in your family who are still under bondage to generational sins, and make sure to go to your quiet place afterwards and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Those pesky demons that are still attached to some of your family may try and speak to you, so you must get alone with the Father to be still and hear His voice.

→Reflect:

Do you know the generational strongholds in your family? Have you turned from these sins and began living a different way? Have you confessed these sins in your family?

If the enemy comes lurking to persuade you to go back into the familiar ways of what you were raised around, remind yourself that you are a new creation in Christ and your former self is no more.

The younger generation is looking to you, be an example to them how to follow Christ and overcome generational sin.

→Meditate:

So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I, the Lord…visits the inequity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments (Exodus 20:5; Numbers 14:18).