I tried desperately to
get up early each morning. I would set my alarm clack for 6 am and many
mornings I would just reach over to my alarm clock on my cell phone and just turn
it off, and then I would roll back into my comfy bed. No matter what I did, I
could not get up consistently early, but I wanted to! Why was this so hard for
me?
What is a habit? Habits are generally considered things that
you do automatically when in a particular situation. A habit is something that has
been learned through repeatedly
performing an action.
Why is breaking an old habit hard?
To break a habit, you
have to activate a different part of your brain to override those habitual
tendencies. The problem is the part of the brain called prefrontal cortex is easily
distracted and does not work as well when you are stressed, this is where those
bad habits that are hardwired into your brain take over automatically. The new
habit that you are trying to make can with
time overwrite the old habit.
Before you try and break
an old habit and form a new one, the number one thing that you need is sheer
determination. You have to set in your mind and see yourself achieving your
desired outcome. Visualize yourself not performing your old habit but instead
see yourself performing your new habit.
How long does it really take to break a habit?
Generally, it can take
anywhere from 21 to 30 days to break a habit or make a new habit, there are
times it can take longer but usually within 4 weeks you should be in the zone
of your new habit. Researchers from University College London examined the new
habits of 96 people over 12 weeks, and found the average time it takes for a
new habit to stick is 66 days. However, the process of breaking an unwanted
habit depends on the person and the habit, and can take some individuals up to
245 days. Don’t get discouraged by 245 days, this is to inform you that breaking
“pleasurable and rewarding” habits is no easy task, but given enough time can
be achieved. I suggest at least 60 days of repeatedly replacing your old habit
with your new habit before you will be able perform your new habit automatically.
After getting the
vision for what you want to achieve, make a goal and write it down! Get a
journal and write out the habit you want to break or make as well as the date
that you started. You will want to track your progress as well as any mishaps
you may have.
For the next 21 to 30
days realize that you probably will feel uncomfortable,
may struggle to going back to your old habit, and want to quit all together,
all normal but the difference will be your determination. Understand your habit.
Most habits are patterns that have evolved because they have been rewarded in
some way. A “habit loop” forms from a cue or trigger that tells your brain to
start the habitual behavior. The brain processes a reward from this behavior that
reinforces the habit loop. Interrupting the behavior part of this loop is how
to break a habit. This is why it can be challenging to break a habit, and why
most people give up after a week. Determine ahead of time that you will have a
bit of a struggle in breaking this habit loop, but by repeatedly replacing the automatic
impulse to act out your habit, eventually you will succeed.
►Ask yourself, do I really want to break this habit or do I just like
the idea of it, and am I prepared for the hard work that it will take to break
a long-standing habit?
Know what “rewards”
your brain is looking for. Many bad habits come about as a means of dealing
with situations that cause stress or boredom.
What to expect when breaking a habit:
The first couple of days of forming a new
habit will be meet with great expectation and you may even feel exhilarated at
the thought of breaking an old, nasty habit. As the first week comes to an end, you very likely will be hit with strong
resistance to go back to what you know is comfortable to you. As humans we like
comfort, changing a pattern of behavior that you may have had almost an entire
lifetime such as with alcohol, drugs or cigarettes can be frightening. At the end of the first week you most likely will
be tempted to quit all together.
The “struggle” or the “in-between”
phase kicks in about week 2. You have
made it 2 whole weeks without your
habit, but now what? You possibly will struggle with valid questions such as,”
If I stop drinking or smoking then what will I do”? You will feel unsteady as
you begin to navigate your “new life.” You very likely will have “withdrawal”
symptoms during the first 2 weeks as
your nervous system struggles to deal in a change in the chemicals triggering
the reward center of your brain.
If you have the strength
to push through week 3 or day 21, it
will be very likely your old habit is beginning to break and your new habit is
being established as a part of your life. Week
3 can still have its challenges; your habit may be broken but your new
habit still seems foreign to you. If this is the case I would advise you to
keep moving and get more firmly established in your new habit as you go into week 4, and remember it can
longer to break an old habit.
Tips for breaking habits:
If you are trying to
break the habit like overeating, drinking alcohol, or smoking, know triggers
will come. Be on guard for triggers especially during the first 30 days. In
other words, do you enjoy a cigarette after a good meal? That is a trigger for
you, so you will need to make a change such as enjoying a cup of tea instead.
Make sure you have a
good substitution for your old habit, such as instead of overeating you will exercise
3x per week.
Surround yourself with
people who will encourage you in breaking bad habits and decrease your time
with those that would cheer you on to remain with your bad habit.
Reward yourself
frequently and especially at the 21 day and 30-day markers.
Be extremely kind to
yourself the first 30 days of breaking your bad habit. If you need to pull back
from additional stresses in your life, do so if possible.
If you make a mistake,
do not deem that is total failure. Breaking a bad habit, is extremely difficult,
but focus on the fact that it can be done!
Let's discuss:
What bad habit would you like to break and what
new habit would you like to make? Write it down, send me an email or comment on
the blog post.
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