Dealing
with Anger from Emotional Pain and Trauma
When
you endure times of emotional pain and trauma and you specifically prayed for
that event or situation not to occur and it did, or if you prayed that God
would further shield you from any more pain and that did not happen the way you
thought-it is possible that you have unresolved and repressed anger towards
God.
Any
type of trauma or emotional pain often shakes the very foundation of your faith.
Before the trauma you may have believed that God was
your protector and that He was good ALL the time. After much suffering, it can
be challenging to believe that God always protects you and is good to you ALL
the time. Unfortunately, this is a topic that is rarely discussed in our
Christian communities because we put on “masks” to cover up how we really feel.
Unresolved anger towards God not only hinders our relationship with Him but
with others.
A client I had years ago had many emotional problems
and an addiction to prescription pain medicines. I asked her if she was “Angry
at all at God for the things that happened to her”, and her response was, “We
can’t get angry at God. I would never tell Him that I was angry with Him.” I
then asked her, “Don’t you think God already knows?”
Countless Christians, many who you attend church with
every week are angry with God but would never admit that. God already knows
what is in the deepest part of our heart. God desires that you sit with Him,
and tell Him how you feel. If you can’t tell God, write it in a letter
addressed, Dear God. After you speak or write your letter to God, sit quietly
and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you. You will find that God is super
gentle, gracious and merciful to our human weaknesses and understanding of our
suffering.
In my own time of trauma, I eventually sat with the
Father and asked, “God, why did you allow this to happen?” and I asked, “Why, God,
why!” Of course, I did not get an immediate response to my questions, instead
God started revealing to me all the good times that I had with the person that caused
so much trauma in my life. God showed me that He already knew I was angry for
believing that He did not stop what happened.
What
God desires is to restore our relationship with Him.
I did not realize that unconsciously I had placed God out of my heart because I
had repressed anger towards Him. How you view your earthly father is a lot how
you view your Heavenly Father. If your earthly father abused you, did not
protect you, or neglected you, then when something happens in your life that
you desperately want God to rescue you from and He does not immediately; anger
and pushing God away is common.
Don’t condemn yourself if you have pushed God away or
if you are angry at God. Don’t let another day go by staying this way. God may
not reveal every detail why suffering happened to you, but He will comfort and strengthen
you. Get real with God, He can handle it! Unresolved anger towards God can lead
to bitterness and apathy and eventually a complete turning away from God. Why do you think so many people turn away
from God when tragedy occurs?
Why God permits suffering is the age-old question.
Some Biblical theologians and even scholars have concluded we just don’t know
why suffering happens but perhaps like with Job in the Bible, God allowed satan
to bring suffering for a reason or with the Apostle Peter how God allowed satan
to “sift him as wheat,” to refine Peter, and sometimes it is to test our faith
and other times we live in a fallen world and bad things happen. Whatever
reason has caused your suffering, know that no weapon formed against you will
prosper, this means if you took a hit from the enemy’s arsenal that weapon
cannot succeed in your life. If you are highly analytical like I am, saying,
“Just trust God,” is not helpful. People who are analytical have to work
through and process with God our feelings, and that is okay because God created
the analytical mind! Allow people who may be different from you the space and
time to work through their questions about suffering.
Just because someone wonders and questions about suffering
does not mean they don’t want a relationship with God, in fact the opposite is
most likely true- the analytical are looking to prove God cares and not that He
is a distant or non-existent God. Let God show you His great and marvelous
mercy-ask Him!
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