Friday, April 13, 2018

Counselor's Corner: God Why Did You Allow This to Happen?




Dealing with Anger from Emotional Pain and Trauma




When you endure times of emotional pain and trauma and you specifically prayed for that event or situation not to occur and it did, or if you prayed that God would further shield you from any more pain and that did not happen the way you thought-it is possible that you have unresolved and repressed anger towards God.



Any type of trauma or emotional pain often shakes the very foundation of your faith.




Before the trauma you may have believed that God was your protector and that He was good ALL the time. After much suffering, it can be challenging to believe that God always protects you and is good to you ALL the time. Unfortunately, this is a topic that is rarely discussed in our Christian communities because we put on “masks” to cover up how we really feel. Unresolved anger towards God not only hinders our relationship with Him but with others.



A client I had years ago had many emotional problems and an addiction to prescription pain medicines. I asked her if she was “Angry at all at God for the things that happened to her”, and her response was, “We can’t get angry at God. I would never tell Him that I was angry with Him.” I then asked her, “Don’t you think God already knows?”



Countless Christians, many who you attend church with every week are angry with God but would never admit that. God already knows what is in the deepest part of our heart. God desires that you sit with Him, and tell Him how you feel. If you can’t tell God, write it in a letter addressed, Dear God. After you speak or write your letter to God, sit quietly and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you. You will find that God is super gentle, gracious and merciful to our human weaknesses and understanding of our suffering.



In my own time of trauma, I eventually sat with the Father and asked, “God, why did you allow this to happen?” and I asked, “Why, God, why!” Of course, I did not get an immediate response to my questions, instead God started revealing to me all the good times that I had with the person that caused so much trauma in my life. God showed me that He already knew I was angry for believing that He did not stop what happened.



What God desires is to restore our relationship with Him. I did not realize that unconsciously I had placed God out of my heart because I had repressed anger towards Him. How you view your earthly father is a lot how you view your Heavenly Father. If your earthly father abused you, did not protect you, or neglected you, then when something happens in your life that you desperately want God to rescue you from and He does not immediately; anger and pushing God away is common.



Don’t condemn yourself if you have pushed God away or if you are angry at God. Don’t let another day go by staying this way. God may not reveal every detail why suffering happened to you, but He will comfort and strengthen you. Get real with God, He can handle it! Unresolved anger towards God can lead to bitterness and apathy and eventually a complete turning away from God. Why do you think so many people turn away from God when tragedy occurs?



Why God permits suffering is the age-old question. Some Biblical theologians and even scholars have concluded we just don’t know why suffering happens but perhaps like with Job in the Bible, God allowed satan to bring suffering for a reason or with the Apostle Peter how God allowed satan to “sift him as wheat,” to refine Peter, and sometimes it is to test our faith and other times we live in a fallen world and bad things happen. Whatever reason has caused your suffering, know that no weapon formed against you will prosper, this means if you took a hit from the enemy’s arsenal that weapon cannot succeed in your life. If you are highly analytical like I am, saying, “Just trust God,” is not helpful. People who are analytical have to work through and process with God our feelings, and that is okay because God created the analytical mind! Allow people who may be different from you the space and time to work through their questions about suffering.



Just because someone wonders and questions about suffering does not mean they don’t want a relationship with God, in fact the opposite is most likely true- the analytical are looking to prove God cares and not that He is a distant or non-existent God. Let God show you His great and marvelous mercy-ask Him!




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