Counselor's Corner: Living in the Present, Take it One Day at a Time

How many of us, if we are honest, live stressed-out and anxious/worried about tomorrow? If you answered yes to that question, you are not alone. When we live our lives projecting tomorrow’s outcomes we forfeit the grace God supplies to us daily, not in lump sums. How many of us try and store God’s grace for us? We believe with enough planning and control we can predict outcomes as well as secure our future. But we could not be more wrong. How many of us have tried to get a close handle on our lives by predicting the outcomes of our lives. We try and analyze and figure-out every possible outcome and situation until we become exhausted and frustrated. Life happens and we cannot live on tomorrow’s provisions for today.

Living in the past or projecting the future will cause stress, anxiety, worry, fear, fatigue and possible illness.

Some of us try and live in the past because we have not “settled” our past or properly let-go and healed our hurts as well as past failures. Some of us try and figure out future outcomes because we live in fear and at the root of that fear is a lack of trust in God. We might say we trust God but deep down where no one else can see, we felt we have been let down by God, forgotten by Him, or discouraged in the waiting process. So we take matters into our own hands because we feel God has not come through for us. We don’t want to admit this because we might look bad or maybe others may not think we are really Christians, or for that matter even love God. I will be the first to say that I love God, the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit and I am a born-again believer but I have struggled in this area of control and trust. At times the control and trust waxes and wanes but underneath it all, I have struggled to make sense of some very difficult matters in my life. I hope I am not alone in this. I have prayed for certain things, people, and desires for years and sometimes they have become worse, and other times it is a slow trickle to the desired outcome I want, and then there are those prayers and cries that seem to go unnoticed. I said seemed to go unnoticed, because do our prayers really go unnoticed or is it not the time or maybe something that would not be in our best interest? I have so many questions, I am sure like you that I don’t know the answers to. Such as the inability to have children, desiring to be married, sickness of a child/family member, health issues, or even the pain a parent feels for their prodigal child. I have felt many of these personally and I can say for me that is why I developed a need to be in control, secure my future, and to analyze my life because nothing seemed to be in control, so I took control. I projected my future because I lived in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear things will not get better, fear that it will always be this way. Fear causes you to think and behave irrationally. Life seemed uncertain and unpredictable to me so I had to take over and mange my life.

Taking life as it comes and living in the present day is a great way to allow your fears to take a backseat. Living in the past will also cause you great stress, so being and living in the day you have is very healing. Why be anxious for the things you truly do not know will or won’t happen, or why live in regret and past failures? This is not easy to do if you have tried to control your life or try and project possible outcomes of your future. This will not be easy, but let’s start with surrendering. Surrendering all forms of control, figuring-out, analyzing, and living in past regrets. This also entails trusting God with your life and the lives of others you love. This step requires faith and letting-go.

If you live one day at a time, God will supply you the grace you need for that day, to handle the problems and situations that happen that day. However, you can’t take today’s grace and store it for tomorrow. God supplies what you need for that day, not on yesterday or tomorrow. Think about how stress-free you will feel when you live in the present.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34, NIV

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Matthew 6:34, Message

Counselor's Corner: When Trusting God Does Not Come Easily

Through this article I am hoping to shed some light on a topic that is not discussed frequently in Christian circles. When I accepted Jesus as my Savior over 18 years ago, I had major issues with trust. I had been abused, rejected and betrayed by the very people who said that they loved me and were supposed to protect me. I was indoctrinated almost immediately that I could trust God and that He loved me, however, no one know my hidden secret that I did not trust God. I wanted so desperately to trust Jesus, but I viewed Him the way I viewed the people who had hurt me. I was a Christian and I did believe that I would go to heaven if I died, but when I received salvation I did it out of fear that I would not spend eternity in hell. I believed all the lies that penetrated my soul for many years that people were bad and that they could not be trusted; thus this affected my relationship with God.

I struggled for most of my Christian walk being able to trust that God would protect me from evil, and that I could truly surrender all my control to Him. People control because of a root of fear, and I was one of the most fearful individuals. I simply could not let go and let God. I tried but I failed miserably to give it all to God. Why? I was scared that I would be let down once again. Most of my life was spent being let down by the ones who were supposed to shield me from danger. I was too ashamed to tell my new Christian family that I was having trouble trusting God, for if they knew that I was having trouble trusting God; they would ask me to leave. I just could not endure anymore abandonment, so I wore a “mask,” for many years in church. I learned how to pretend very quickly that I was okay, but deep down inside I yearend to know and trust Jesus like I saw others do.

After my salvation experience, my life was faced with devastating hardships. More betrayal, rejection, and suffering. All of these trials made it even harder for me to trust God. Many days, I would simply ask God, “Where are you in all of this?” I wondered if He had abandoned and rejected me too. I admit, sometimes it did feel that God left me. I wrestled understanding God’s plans and His ways. Of course, I read the Bible and prayed and I even had people pray over me; but when you have a distorted view of God it makes it very difficult to accept the truth.

How I longed to be like the friends that I had that were raised in Christian homes and were treated with love and respect. Trusting God seemed to come so easily for them, but I wrestled for years with allowing God full control of my life. Was I a bad person or did that make me any less of a Christian? Some may say yes, but I would say all of my searching to know God has actually made my faith stronger. I have come to know and trust my Father, Jesus Christ. I know after all these years, that He does love me and He is my refuge. I was forced to seek God in ways that many may not had to. God showed me time and time again that I may not like everything that happens in my life and sometimes life is unfair, but He will cover me and lead me out of all destructive paths. God will not waste the pain that we go through, if we allow Him to heal us; He will use your suffering to minister to others.

God cares more about your relationship with Him than anything else. Having a right relationship with Jesus is the most important thing you will do in your life, let nothing come above this. Seek Him and He will be found.

When I am in trouble, I call on the name that is above all names-Jesus. I run to Him and I wait for His deliverance. I now can trust that His plans are better than mine, and I can rest in Him. There comes a peace to those who are able to rest in Him, and not try and control the outcomes.

Maybe you are in that same situation, trusting God is difficult for you. May I encourage you to continue to seek Jesus and allow Him to heal you from the inside out. People will fail you and not all people can be trusted, but God can be trusted.

The Lord will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know your name will put their trust in you; For you, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:9-10

Counselor's Corner: How to Rejoice in Your Difficult Circumstances

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Not always an easy scripture to swallow, especially if you have gone through long trials and debilitating circumstances. The Apostle Paul in this scripture was not teaching that we should thank God for everything that happens to us, but in everything. Evil does not come from God, so we should not thank Him for it, but when evil strikes, we can still be thankful for God’s presence and for the good that He will accomplish through the distress (Romans 8:28).

It is easy to give thanks when a baby is born, when someone gets married, or when your child graduates college and lands a good job, but what about when you have a prodigal child, long for a spouse, or have a family member on drugs? Not as easy to give thanks then. If we are human, than we can admit that it is more of a challenge to be thankful for our difficult circumstances. We can grow weary in our circumstances, and begin to grumble and complain about them. It can be easier to have self-pity in our pain. It feels good to whine and have others feel sorry for us. We want someone to validate that we have had it rough.

In my weakness and human frailty, I would rather not give thanks for my difficulties. I want to “nurse “my wounds, and rehearse them to anyone who might would sympathize with me. But what if God has a greater plan than we could imagine? What if God is allowing some of the things in our lives to shape us, build character, strength, and endurance? Is it possible, to turn every hard circumstance in our lives around to see the goodness in them? Hard? Yes, but possible, and even beneficial to your mental, spiritual, and emotional health. I am not talking about denying your pain and suffering, but allowing yourself to see the good in each situation. You might be thinking, “I can’t find any good in my circumstances.” Believe me, I understand, but think a little harder about your adversities, and how have you changed as a result of them? Are you stronger, have a closer walk with the Lord? You could be thinking,” But I did not ask for these circumstances.” True, but God is in control of your life and all that is in your life. Perhaps, you feel that is not fair. But we did not create our lives, nor anyone in our lives, so we must submit to the One who did.

How to move past not giving thanks in All your circumstances:

1.      Admit how you really feel to God. Tell Him, write it out, and let it out.

2.      Begin reflecting on the goodness in each difficult situation in your life.

3.      Celebrate every small victory in your life. You don’t have to wait until you gain full victory in every area.

4.      FOCUS on what is right and a blessing in your life. CHOOSE to get your mind off of what is wrong in your life, and reflect and give thanks of what is right in your life.

5.      Express your gratitude. Write or say aloud DAILY at least 5 things that you are thankful for. It will keep your mind focused on your blessings instead of your trails.