Friday, April 7, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: Living in the Present, Take it One Day at a Time


How many of us, if we are honest, live stressed-out and anxious/worried about tomorrow? If you answered yes to that question, you are not alone. When we live our lives projecting tomorrow’s outcomes we forfeit the grace God supplies to us daily, not in lump sums. How many of us try and store God’s grace for us? We believe with enough planning and control we can predict outcomes as well as secure our future. But we could not be more wrong. How many of us have tried to get a close handle on our lives by predicting the outcomes of our lives. We try and analyze and figure-out every possible outcome and situation until we become exhausted and frustrated. Life happens and we cannot live on tomorrow’s provisions for today.


Reflect and ponder: Do you live in the present or do you live in the past and in the future? What causes you not to live in the present moment?

Counselor’s corner: Living in the past or projecting the future will cause stress, anxiety, worry, fear, fatigue and possible illness. Some of us try and live in the past because we have not “settled” our past or properly let-go and healed our hurts as well as past failures.

Some of us try and figure out future outcomes because we live in fear and at the root of that fear is a lack of trust in God.

We might say we trust God but deep down where no one else can see, we felt we have been let down by God, forgotten by Him, or discouraged in the waiting process. So we take matters into our own hands because we feel God has not come through for us. We don’t want to admit this because we might look bad or maybe others may not think we are really Christians, or for that matter even love God. I will be the first to say that I love God, the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit and I am a born-again believer but I have struggled in this area of control and trust. At times the control and trust waxes and wanes but underneath it all, I have struggled to make sense of some very difficult matters in my life. I hope I am not alone in this. I have prayed for certain things, people, and desires for years and sometimes they have become worse, and other times it is a slow trickle to the desired outcome I want, and then there are those prayers and cries that seem to go unnoticed. I said seem to go unnoticed, because do our prayers really go unnoticed or is it not the time or maybe something that would not be in our best interest? I have so many questions, I am sure like you that I don’t know the answers to. Such as the inability to have children, desiring to be married, sickness of a child/family member, health issues, or even the pain a parent feels for their prodigal child. I have felt many of these personally and I can say for me that is why I developed a need to be in control, secure my future, and to analyze my life because nothing seemed to be in control, so I took control. I projected my future because I lived in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear things will not get better, fear that it will always be this way. Fear causes you to think and behave irrationally. Life seemed uncertain and unpredictable to me so I had to take over and mange my life.

Taking life as it comes and living in the present day is a great way to allow your fears to take a backseat. Living in the past will also cause you great stress, so being and living in the day you have is very healing. Why be anxious for the things you truly do not know will or won’t happen, or why live in regret and past failures? This is not easy to do if you have tried to control your life or try and project possible outcomes of your future. This will not be easy, but let’s start with surrendering. Surrendering all forms of control, figuring-out, analyzing, and living in past regrets. This also entails trusting God with your life and the lives of others you love. This step requires faith and letting-go.

If you live one day at a time, God will supply you the grace you need for that day, to handle the problems and situations that happen that day. However, you can’t take today’s grace and store it for tomorrow. God supplies what you need for that day, not on yesterday or tomorrow. Think about how stress-free you will feel when you live in the present.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34, NIV

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Matthew 6:34, Message






Thursday, April 6, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: Who Does God Say That I Am?


When you do not know what your identity is in Christ, or what God says about you; you believe the lies that the enemy dishes out to you. Have you ever wondered why some Christians live in defeat? This can be contributed to not knowing or believing what your new identity in Christ is.
If you have struggled with knowing that God loves you and knowing your worth and value, take the time and read and meditate what the truth says. The truth can be found by not only reading the Bible, but believing what it says. “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32


Reflect and ponder: Do you know your new identity on Christ?

Counselor’s corner:

The following truths are what God says about you.

·        You are loved by God. Not because of what you have done or have not done. The Bible tells us that while we were sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
·        You are a new creation. If anyone is in Christ, old things have passed away and you are a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17.
·        You are a member of the body of Christ. You belong to a new family, one that will be with you in eternity. 1 Corinthians 12:27
·        You are a friend of God. Jesus said, “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15
·        You are free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:2. The penalty for sin before was death, but now through the shed blood of Christ; we can be free from death.
·        You are born of God and the evil one does not touch you. 1 John 5:18.
·        You are holy and without blame before Him in love. Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16.
·        You are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works. Ephesians 2:10.
·        You are a joint heir with Jesus, sharing His inheritance with Him. Romans 8:17.
·        You are a temple of God. His spirit and His life lives in you. 1 Corinthians 6:19.
·        You have been redeemed and forgiven. Colossians 1:14.
·        You have been adopted by God as His child. Ephesians 1:5. It does not matter what family you were born into, you have been adopted by God and have a new bloodline.

This list is nowhere near exhaustive. Read the Bible for yourself, and believe what God says about you. It does not matter what you think of yourself, what others think of you, but what God says about you. No matter your background, if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, these truths apply to you! You are no longer a sinner wrapped in shame and condemnation, so stop seeing yourself that way. If you are still thinking about the things you did in the past, realize that is a plan of the enemy to keep you from knowing your true identity.

If your sins have been removed from the record, deleted; then why keep beating yourself up for things you have been forgiven for?

A key to breakthrough from living defeated is believing that you are a new creation in Jesus Christ, instead of the person you used to be.



Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: Freedom from Insecurity and People-Pleasing



Be a God pleaser, not a man pleaser.


Reflect and ponder: Are you more concerned with pleasing man than God? Do you seek the approval of others? At the core of people pleasing is insecurity. We can be insecure for a number of reasons. Insecurity can have roots stemming back from our childhood.

Counselor’s corner: How do you know you are dealing with insecurity?

Here are some key signs insecurity may be a part of your life:

1.      You question everything you do. You are uncomfortable with decisions you make.
You look to others to decide what’s best for you.
2.      You lack confidence in speaking and having conversations with others, and social settings make you feel uneasy.
3.      You look to others to approve you and to validate you.
4.      You always believe you’re at fault and take the blame when things go wrong.
5.      You don’t know who you are in Christ. Your identity is based not on what God says about you, but on what others say about you.
6.      You believe what others say about you, whether good or bad.
7.      You are overly sensitive to needing others to approve of you and sensitive to criticism, even constructive criticism.
8.      You live in constant fear and you lack trust for others and even God.

All these insecurities can lead to people pleasing and eventually lead to approval addiction. It is important that you know who you are in Christ, and that you allow the Holy Spirit to uncover your roots of insecurity so that you can be healed and function the way God intended. If you do not believe what God says about you, you will believe what others say about you. This is especially true of people that have been verbally/emotionally abused and verbally bullied by peers. Young people today are being “cyber bullied” and many young people succumb to these taunts and torments. These bullies are acting as agents and mouthpieces of the kingdom of darkness. God would never ridicule, torment or verbally abuse us.

People approval will lead you to do things that are not led by the Holy Spirit. 

So many people succumb to peer pressure, and not just young people. I have seen grown people succumb to the pressure of people in the church. If you are not lead by the Holy Spirit you will end up exhausted, frustrated, stressed and burnt-out. People will always want you to fulfill their agenda, but what is most important is what God wants you to do. You may have to say “No” to people and set boundaries. It is okay to say “No.” You have choices and you don’t have to lead by the feelings and desires of man, but instead God gives us wisdom and discernment to know what we should be involved in.

You are not called to be everywhere, do everything, and fulfill the wants of others. Ask yourself if you have peace. If peace is not involved, chances are God is not a part of it.

It is hard not to desire to be liked and approved of others, especially the ones we love and are closest to. We don’t want them to think bad of us or be angry at us. It does not matter what others say or think of you. Others are going to have their opinion about you, and a lot of times there is not a whole lot you can do about it, but you can pray that God softens their hearts towards you.

If you continue to be judged, misunderstood, or just treated unfair because you’re setting boundaries and learning to say “No”, than it is a matter between them and God.

Key Characteristics of a People-Pleaser:

1.      More concerned about pleasing others than God or yourself.
2.      Not lead by peace but by emotions/feelings.
3.      Let others control and manipulate you.
4.      Easily influenced by what others want.
5.      Can’t say “No” to others demands or desires.
6.      Lack boundaries with others. Hard time separating self from others.
7.      Feel guilty if you ever do say “No.”
8.      Have issues with rejection, insecurity and fear.
9.      Don’t want anyone to be mad at you or disappointed in you, and you will go to great lengths to insure others are pleased with you.
10.  You are not free, and you are bound by others expectations of you.
11.  You are devastated if someone disapproves of something you have done or not done.
12.  The needs and well-being of others takes precedence over your needs and well-being.

Freedom from insecurity and people-pleasing comes from knowing and believing what Christ says about you, and allowing God to heal the roots of your insecurity. People do what they do for a reason. It is not enough to have head knowledge about what Christ says about you. You must believe what Christ says about you.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in Him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise from men more than praise from God. John 12: 42-43

Fearing God is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. Proverbs 29:25



Counselor’s Corner: Are you Struggling with being Content?


I admit, finding contentment has not come easily for me. I had certain desires and expectations for my life, and when those did not come to pass; I began to struggle with contentment.


If you are a planner or organizer like me, you already have your entire life mapped out with short and long-term goals. However, my life did not follow the route I had envisioned. In fact, I thought my life was way off course; and begin to believe the lies of the enemy. I stumbled as I gazed upon other’s lives, and saw upon them the very things I so desired.

I had faced severe hardships one after another, and they left me bruised emotionally and crushed spiritually. I believed that I was doing something wrong in my Christian walk. I began to sink into a deep depression that lasted for years. I could no longer see any goodness and I lost the ability to find contentment. Yes, I was praying, reading the Word of God, and asking God to save me. I simply could not find my way out of the awful pit I was in. I loved the Lord but I did not understand why so much suffering was happening to me. I truly believed I would live the rest of my life in this dark hole. The enemy had me focused on everything that was wrong in my life. Once I began agreeing with the enemy that everything in my life was bad, the downward spiral of depression followed.

Reflect and ponder: Are you content with your “lot in life?” What is the cause of your discontentment?

Counselor’s corner:

Lessons God taught me on being content:

In the book of Philippians, the Apostle Paul wanted the Philippians to know that they could be full of joy despite his imprisonment and upcoming trial. When Paul was in prison, he faithfully preached the Gospel.

Paul used what was happening in his life for good.

Being imprisoned would cause many people to become bitter or to give up, but Paul saw it as an opportunity to spread the Gospel. Paul realized his current circumstances were not as important as what he did with them. He turned a bad situation into a good one. We may not be in prison like Paul, but we can have many discouragements and hardships such as family conflict, prodigal children, health issues, infertility, and marital issues. These can trap us into bitterness and lead to self-pity. Paul learned how to be content in any situation he was facing.

Paul knew how to be content whether he had plenty or whether he was in need. Do you feel discontented because you have a desire that is unmet in your life? Ask God to teach you contentment in every circumstance. Paul was content because he could see life through God’s point of view. He focused on what he was supposed to do, and not on what he should have. Paul was grateful for everything God had given him.

When we go through hard times with a good attitude and faithful, it can encourage others in their walk with God. When we suffer, if we faithfully represent Christ, our message can affect us and others for good.

It is important to know that if you are suffering it does not mean that you have done something wrong. In fact, the opposite is often true.

A life of contentment does not focus or dwell on circumstances or problems.

Contentment can happen in any situation you are in. If you are having a difficult time with being content in your current situation, I encourage you today to begin reflecting on what is good in your life. Doing this may not come naturally or easy especially if you have endured painful trials, but keep doing it anyways.

If you have been through testing, trials, and hardships I am truly very sorry. I want you to know as someone who has walked through many difficult times as well, you can through the power of Jesus Christ be better and not bitter over your circumstances. Contentment is possible in whatever state you are in.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

“But I want you to know, brethren that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the Gospel.” Philippians 1:1-2

“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state that I am, to be content. I know how to be abased, and how to be abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer.” Philippians 4:11-12







Monday, April 3, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: Be Still to Hear God’s Voice


You will have difficulty hearing God’s voice if you are busy with one activity after another, or you are addicted to your electronic devices. It is important to get quiet before the Lord, and tune-out all distractions. This means turning off your cell phone or putting it away, turning off the TV an iPad and other electronics.


There are many things that compete for our time and attention, and numerous distractions pop-up unexpectedly. Learning to carve out regular time alone with God to hear His still, small voice is important in maintaining your peace, gaining wisdom and direction from the Lord for your daily life. For most people, having time with God first thing in the morning will help you throughout your day.

Reflect and ponder: If you have been feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or fearful, ask yourself, “Have I pulled away to be alone with The Father?” Things will come up in your life to compete for your time and attention even that will seem like a “good thing.” However, not everything that is asked of us or that comes our way is a good thing for us that is why we have to have time with the Lord so we can hear His direction. A lot of people end-up living frazzled lives because they just do whatever comes in their path. There will never be anything more important than daily time being still before the Lord.

Counselor’s corner:  I know this is a foreign concept in our western culture to be still, but too many people are not taking this valuable time and are enduring high levels of stress. We must learn to step away daily to connect with the Father. He has guidance and direction that He wants to bestow upon us, but we must receive that impartation daily, and not try and “store it up.” Our daily “manna” is given to us daily, not weekly or monthly. We must not put anything else before our relationship with God, and a relationship can only happen when you spend time together. God must first be on our schedules of priorities.

When we are still before God He will speak to us through His Word, through nature, through our spirit, through writing and journaling, and through worship.

He can also speak to us through a combination of these things. Check your schedule and see what you can cut back, such as Face book, Pinterest, TV, iPad, and carve out time for God. Put God first in your life. It is okay to say, “No” to the demands of others, to shut your cell phone off temporary, not answer your emails and face book. It is okay not to follow the crowd, and instead follow Jesus and sit at His feet.

In God’s presence you will find peace and rest.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10

The Lord will fight for you while you keep still.

Exodus 14:14

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