Psychologists, Abraham Maslow developed the hierarchy
of needs that humans have. The first hierarchy of need on Maslow’s list is physiological
such as clothing, shelter and food. The second hierarchy of need listed is
safety, including being free from violence, abuse, and job security. The third hierarchy of need is belonging.
Maslow believed that after psychological and
safety needs are meet the third need humans have is the need to belong and to
be accepted. Maslow concluded that humans need to love and to be loved. Many
people become susceptible to depression, anxiety and loneliness in the absence
of belonging. The fourth hierarchy of need is esteem or the need to be
respected. Maslow’s last hierarchy of need is self-actualization which Maslow
believed that to understand this level of need, the person must not only achieve
all the previous needs, but master them.
In
this article, I will focus on the third hierarchy, the need to belong.
 |
| We all want to belong somewhere! |
Ask
yourself the following questions if you feel like you are struggling to belong?
1) Do
you fit into a particular ethnic group or do you have more than one ethnicity
that you can check off?
2) Did
you leave your old life behind including friendships when you accepted Christ
as your Savior?
3) Were
you raised in church, or have you had to learn along the way about the Bible
and church?
4) Do
you have a past that if brought up can cause you to feel that you may not
belong to the “good girl” Bible study group?
5) Do
you tend to wear “masks” with people because you really don’t want anyone to
know what you have been through because you have been judged repeatedly already
for your past?
6) Are
you a parent with a prodigal child or have you struggled with infertility?
7) Were
you emotionally/mentally abused as a child or were you abandoned by a parent as
a child? Were you adopted or an orphan?
8) Is
your family dysfunctional or do they lack emotional stability?
9) Are
you the only one or one of the few in your family who is a believer in Christ or
who is trying to walk righteously before God?
10) Did
someone significant in your life reject you?
→If you answered several of the above questions you
could have difficulty with a sense of belonging.
You may have always felt different as if you just
never truly fit in with anyone. You could be great at pretending to fit in, but
deep inside you question if you truly belong. You are not alone! There are
countless people who feel this way, including myself.
·
Don’t try and fit in somewhere where you
just don’t! Not fitting into a group or with a particular person does not mean anything
is wrong with you. Cultivate the relationships that do make you feel like you belong,
and don’t beat yourself up for the relationships that you just don’t fit into. Reach
and encourage others you know may struggle with belonging.
·
Accept and love who you are. It is okay to
be different! You are unique and created by God. You belong to God and to the
family of God.
·
Uproot any lies that you have believed
about yourself such as,” I’m not good enough,” or “What will people think of
me?” These lies could be hindering you from belonging to at least one group or
person.
Jesus did not fit in with the world. Perhaps God has a
purpose in your life that He will use your sense of not belonging. You are not ordinary but extraordinary.
Reflect
on the following scriptures:
If
you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are
not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates
you.
John
15:19
Don’t try and belong to the world and the things of
the world.
Know
that the Lord, He is God! It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His
people, and the sheep of His pasture.
Psalm
100:3
We belong to God!
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