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Hope & Encouragement for Women

Word of Encouragement: Counselor's Corner: 12 Keys to a Healthy, Godly Marriage


Many of you may be like me, and did not have proper role models growing up for marriage. When I got married, I brought a lot of “baggage” into the relationship. I had absolutely no idea how to have a healthy, Godly marriage, but it is amazing how the Lord has instructed me. No matter what your relationship has gone through, there is hope. That hope only comes through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.


Listed below are 12 keys to a healthy, Godly marriage:

1)      Put God first. Having a right relationship with your spouse, starts with having a right relationship with God. Ecclesiastes 4:12
2)      Pray together daily. Let your spouse hear your prayers for them. Pray over your spouse throughout the day. Psalm 145:18
3)      Read the Bible together, and discuss what you received from your time of reading God’s Word. 2 Timothy 3:16-17
4)      Fight fair. Things that should be off limits in disagreements: Name calling, hitting, pushing, throwing things, yelling, and belittling. 1 Peter 4:8; Ephesians 4:2-3
5)      Seek to build your spouse by encouragement. Wives, be your husband’s greatest cheerleader and husbands, be careful of being overly critical. Proverbs 21:9; Colossians 3:18-19
6)      Be respectful, gentle, and patient of each other. You are both different people with different needs and desires. Do not try and change the other to conform to what you would want them to be. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
7)      Laugh together and learn to have fun as a couple. Find out what you both enjoy and do it! Have regular date nights, a minimum of 2x per month. Proverbs 17:22
8)      Be faithful to one another at all times, that means keeping pure in the areas of what you watch on TV, movies, and on the computer. This includes pornography, social media, texting or speaking on the phone with opposite sex, meeting the opposite sex alone for lunch/dinner (even for business), and flirting. A good rule to follow is if you could not do it in front of your spouse, then you probably should not be doing it. Hebrews 13:4-5
9)      Have a healthy sex life, having sex at least 2x per week. Enjoy each other and keep all intimacy dedicated just to your spouse. Carve out this time, put it on the schedule if you have to; but do not neglect this very important time of bonding and connecting with your spouse. (If there has been issues with adultery, pornography, or past sexual abuse, realize you will have to go through a healing process first). Hebrews 13:4; Proverbs 5:15-9
10)  Wives, submit to your husbands (this should not be abusive in anyway, but mutual!). Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-11
11)  Leave your family of origin and cleave to your spouse. This implies becoming one flesh with your spouse. Matthew 19:4-6
12)  Never use the “D” word, divorce. Mathew 19:2-9

God’s desire is for you to have a healthy marriage that places Him at the center. Do not despair if you are not in a good place in your marriage, God can redeem what seems to be dead and lifeless, perhaps, instead of trying to change your spouse; allow God to change you!

What are some of the lessons God has taught you in how to have a healthy, Godly marriage? Please share, your input is valuable to others. Thank you and may the Lord richly bless your marriage.


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