Counselor’s Corner: Accepting the Broken Dreams in Your Life
Years ago I believed that if I prayed enough and said the right scriptures for what I was believing for, my dreams would come to pass. I did everything I knew to do with the hope if I just did the right thing, maybe God would hear me and cause my heart’s desire to come to pass. I tried fasting, having other people intercede for my situation, following what other people did to get their “blessing,” I have begged and pleaded with God too many times to count, stood on the Word of God and truly believed that I could have what I ask for if I did not doubt, and I have broken generational “curses” off my family line. I have been standing and believing for certain situations for over a decade.
When your dreams get shattered in half, you are left with tiny pieces of your life that you try to pick back up. You don’t know where to begin. You may feel lost as what direction to take now. What do you do when everything you wanted is far out of your reach, and people who are not even serving God get the very thing you have desired? It seems all is lost and everything is lifeless. You have been left with a pile of “dead, dry bones.” You think, “Can these dry bones ever live again?” Picking up the broken pieces of your now dead dream can feel impossible. You might think, “What now, how can I move on?” Holding onto a broken dream that has been crushed, is not something you can repair. God alone can pick up your broken pieces that now have been scattered and He can begin the rebuilding phase. If you try and rebuild your broken dreams, it will most likely lead to disappointment. The story of Ruth in the Bible is a great example of God’s redeeming broken dreams. I’m sure Naomi’s dream did not consist of losing her husband and son and have no one to provide or take care of her. BUT GOD, took her shattered dreams and caused great blessings to come from her tragedy.
Perhaps you have endured many broken dreams, a failed marriage, infertility, miscarriage, a prodigal child, being single when you want to be married, or death of a loved one. We all have our dreams for our lives. Some of our dreams we have had since we were children. Most little girls dream about becoming a mommy and wife. When our dreams go unfulfilled, a deep longing can persist and a void for that dream. A longing that goes unfulfilled can bring great anguish to the soul. Our faith during this time will be tested. You can experience various degrees of grief and sadness over what did not take place, or perhaps what did take place. Searching for meaning and purpose after dreams are broken can become overwhelming, especially when you did not have a back-up plan!
Reflect and ponder: Where is your hope found? People, your job, money, or in Christ. Have you felt disappointed that your dreams for your life have not come to pass or have your dreams have been broken?
Accepting your life does not mean you never hope. Acceptance means what does happen in your life is out of your control.
How to begin accepting the broken dreams in your life:
1. Give all your dreams (the broken ones and the ones you are still hoping for) to God. Ask God to “Give you only what He wants you to have.” If you beg God enough for something, He may give you what you want but you may soon realize what you thought you wanted is not good for you.
2. Begin to enjoy the life that you currently have, not when you get married, have children, or your prodigal comes to their senses. What in your life is good, is a blessing? Enjoy those things and not be so consumed with what you don’t have. Don’t say, “I’ll be happy when__________.” Be content with your life as it is.
3. Grief is important for releasing broken dreams and the way that you thought it would have turned out.
4. Use your pain for gain. After you have healed from the broken dreams, ask God to show you how He can use what you went through for your good.
5. Believe that God is a redeemer and He does restore. You may not get exactly what you thought you would, but He can still bring great blessings to you despite your heartache. Read the book of Ruth to gain greater insight into God redeeming lost and broken dreams.
God grant me the serenity (peace)
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things that I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
What is in your control to change? Are the broken dreams in your life out of your control to resurrect? Only God can breathe life back into dead dreams.
Broken dreams are opportunities for new beginnings.
MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the affiliations of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.