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With God's help, I Provide hope and encouragement to women of faith through practical advice and tools. I blog about my personal experiences in overcoming trials, and I use my background in counseling to give tips and techniques to live a victorious life.
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The Dangers of Pride and Offense
Pride is one of the most dangerous sins. Pride comes
from not knowing where your worth and value comes from, and finding the need to
defend who you think you are to others. Offense comes when we need to defend
ourselves, or others hurt us in some way; intentional and often times not
When the enemy comes with pride and offense, you can tell him to back off, you belong to Jesus.
defines pride as a high inordinate opinion of one’s
own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority.
for pride: humility
Webster Dictionary defines pride as a feeling that you
respect yourself and DESERVE to be respected by others. Another definition is a
feeling that you are more important or better than other people.
defines offense as something that offends or displeases.
for offense: resentment, wrath, indignation,
Dictionary defines offense as something that causes a person
to be hurt, angry, or upset.
Are you dealing with pride? Take a look at the
following list and ask the Holy Spirit to uncover any of these to you.
people’s sins are spoken with judgment and with conviction. You see other’s weaknesses
and expose them more than you do cover them in prayer and God’s grace and
mercy. Very ridged and religious/legalistic.
of applying grace and mercy to others sins and weakness, one may instead condemn,
accuse, ridicule, and criticize that person’s sins and/or weaknesses.
are easily hurt and sensitive to what others say to you, about you, and how
they react to you. An example would be: You may get offended if someone does
not return your call, not realizing they may be unable to call right then. It
is important to give others the benefit of the doubt.
have unrealistic expectations for yourself, others, and even God at times. You tend to expect others to live up to the
very high standard that you impose on yourself.
believe we deserve what others have, and believe we should not have to suffer
means acting one way at home and when you get around certain people or your
church you act “all-together and perfect,” but at home you let lose to your
“true self.” Or this meaning could be having an outward appearance of Godliness
but the inside is corrupt, sinful, or unrighteous in some way.
people are easily upset by the least-littlest things, and are easily agitated
and annoyed by others. Lack grace and mercy for other’s faults and
you are more special, more gifted or more spiritual: The
reality is none of us can doing anything on our own merit, it is only by the
power of Jesus Christ that we can accomplish anything or have gifts. We are not
to abuse our spiritual gifts, if we have the gift of discernment or prophecy,
we should not have an “air” about us that thinks we know more, and we know what
is wrong with every person and with every situation because we can discern.
Yes, God has given the body of Christ gifts, but they are not to be used pridefully
and abusively. We are still human, and it is possible we were wrong about a situation
or a person.
admitting when you are wrong and difficulty apologizing: Have
trouble admitting your weaknesses, failures, and when you are in the wrong.
Want to be right and have the last word. Also, have difficulty apologizing and
especially apologizing first.
just believe you are better, your ways are better and ALWAYS right, and others
are not as gifted, talented, or accomplished as you are. Or you feel like you
could do a better job than others, whatever that job might be.
let’s look at what scripture says about being prideful:
resist the proud but gives grace to
the humble. (James 4:6; 1Peter 5:5)
Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs
man’s pride will bring him low in
wisdom but honor shall uphold the humble
in spirit. (Proverbs 29:23).
that walk in pride shall be abased.
Now let’s take a look at the destruction that
offense can cause. Offense has divided churches, families, and friendships. If
we are offended with someone we must immediately forgive and let go of the
offense, otherwise it will turn into bitterness. If bitterness seeps into the spirit,
it will destroy the fruit of the spirit in your live. It may be important to go
that person who offended you and talk it out, perhaps it was a big misunderstanding.
Offense can come when you have been treated unjustly or you believe you have
been treated unjustly.
is a Greek word for offense, meaning to put a stumbling block in the way.
Some characteristics of people who have been offended:
Hyper-sensitive, touchy, spiritually immature,
lacking in mercy and grace and prideful.
Humble people cannot get offended so easily, and if
they do it does not last very long. They let it “roll off their backs.” If you
become offended you can harbor the offense; which can lead to bitterness. Bitterness
is poisonous to your soul.
to overcoming pride and offense:
Take the mask off and see your faults, weaknesses,
and your own sins. Admit them to God and ask God to forgive you. Take your eyes
off every else’s sins and weakness and instead look to your own first, and
instead of exposing other’s sin’s and weakness cover them in prayer. Stop
judging others and finding fault with them. It is a lot easier to judge others
then to look at our own sin and weakness.
Develop and pursue gratefulness in your life. If you
are truly grateful for your life, then you won’t have time to pick apart others
and you will realize that it will lead to a lack of joy and peace in your life.
Honor other’s gifts, talents, and abilities. Don’t
try and compete with them or compare yourself to them.
Know that you have weakness and you will make mistakes,
and so will others. Apply grace and mercy to yourself and to others. Do not
live up to being a perfectionist and don’t expect others to either. You will never be perfect, nor will others.
Give others the benefit of the doubt. Don’t rush to
conclusions about why they mistreated or hurt you. Forgive as many times as it
takes, until all bitterness is rooted out. Be at ease with others, realizing
they are most likely trying their best as you are. Lighten up!
Match your outward self to your inward self. Get rid
of all pretense. Who you are in public should match who you are in private. No
Learn humility. You are not always right, know
everything, can do everything, and know what is best for everybody. Humble
people are not prideful and do not easily get offended.
Listen more than you talk. If you constantly
interrupt others, give unsolicited advice, or talk more than you listen, then
it is time to be quiet and listen instead. It may just be you do not have the
answer to their every problem and know how to solve their issues. Most of the
time people just want someone to listen to them.
Don’t feel like you have to defend yourself. Take criticism
constructively, and if criticism is not given constructively then you humble
yourself and don’t personalize it. Let it go. You can tell the person who
criticized you, gently and calmly say that “What they said hurt you.”
If you have been married for any length of time you
know that marriage is hard work. As with anything successful in your life
putting time and effort are keys to how fruitful those things will be.
you did not have the proper role models growing up to show you how to have a
successful marriage, but you desire to have a healthy marriage.
God has brought you together with your spouse the greatest investment that you
can make besides your relationship with God is your marriage.
Anyone can have a dull, lifeless marriage, but a marriage
that is thriving takes certain elements to help it succeed. If you planted some
flowers but forgot to fertilize and water those plants they would eventually
become lifeless and die. Healthy marriages take the time to nurture and weed
out anything hindering their relationship.
Couples striving for a healthy marriage should first
ask God to cleanse their hearts of any unforgiveness, anger, resentment or
offenses of their spouse. Staying angry or rese…
you focus on the most will grow. The enemy will try to get
you to focus on what is wrong, what is not working, and what is worrisome to
you. When you lose your focus on what is
true, what is right, what is lovely and what is a good report (Philippians
4:6), you will begin to focus on the opposite of these.
to focus on the good will be a daily decision. When the enemy shows
you something that is causing fear, worry or frustration, turn away and CHOOSE to focus on the good.
→If your focus has been more on the negative lately
check to see who you have been hanging out with, what you have been reading or
watching on TV, and giving your attention to the most.
→An unthankful heart can cause you to focus on your
wants, but a heart of gratitude will cause you to focus on your blessings.
Distractions come to sidetrack you and get you to
focus on what the enemy has brought in front of you. Keeping focus on Jesus means deliberately
fading out everything that pulls you away from the…