Thursday, September 6, 2018

Counselor's Corner: Are You Waiting for God to Vindicate You?





As a believer in Christ one of the most hurtful experiences you can have is when you are misjudged, slandered, falsely accused, or rejected. The pain of these experiences is deeper if they happen with a loved one. When you take a stand for truth or start living for God instead of pleasing man, don’t be surprised who attacks you. Your flesh may want to vindicate itself, and prove that you are wrongly being misinterpreted.



Jesus did say to, “Turn the other cheek and forgive 70x7,” but what about when you keep getting mistreated by the same person? Stepping aside and allowing God to vindicate you would be your best outcome for this situation. Jesus in no way wants you continually wounded, inflicted by another’s wrath, manipulated, controlled or abused (verbal or physical).



Reflect and ponder: You could be at a crossroads in your life-you have tried to build bridges of reconciliation and offer open and honest communication with others who have mistreated you, but the person or people who you are dealing with are still behaving spiteful, cruel, malicious, manipulative, or offensive in some way. Should you continue to reach out hoping the next time they will not do something damaging to you? Releasing the people who have injured you and allowing God to vindicate you would be a better choice than continuing in a relationship.




When you are waiting for God to vindicate you:



1.      Ask God to cleanse you and forgive you of your part (if there is one). Repent of any wrong doing that you are aware of.

2.      Forgive your offender. Your heart will need to be cleansed of any bitterness, unforgiveness, and offense before you can proceed to forgiving someone who has repeatedly wounded your heart or who has not offered forgiveness. Talk to the Lord or a trusted, Godly person about your struggles with the individual or group that has inflicted pain to you, not as a way to gossip or to pass judgment but to cleanse what is in your heart. Make sure to pray after releasing your experiences. Bringing what is hidden in the dark into the light brings healing, but it is important that you don’t keep rehashing what happened again and again.

3.      Do not retaliate in anyway against your offenders or take revenge upon them. Turning the other cheek does not mean keep standing there and allowing someone to hurt you, it means walk away.

4.      Begin to pray and speak blessings over the ones who have used you, misjudged you, rejected you, and falsely accused you. This is an example of “doing good to your enemies.”

5.      Let go and release the people that have hurt you into God’s hands. Stop focusing on what happened and move on.

6.      God makes all things right in His time. Wait patiently for God to vindicate you. Wait humbly. Wait meekly. Persist in prayer that God will clear your name.



MEDIATE ON THESE SCPITURES:



All those who were incensed against you shall be ashamed and disgraced; they shall be as nothing and those who strive against you shall perish. You shall seek them-those who contend with you. Those who war against you shall be as nothing, as a nonexistent thing. For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying, “Fear not, I will help you.”

Isaiah 41:9-13



Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Matthew 5:11



Vindicate me, O Lord, For I have walked in integrity. I have also trusted in the Lord; I shall not slip. Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my mind and my heart.

Psalm 26:1-2



Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; and deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man!

Psalm 43:1



Vindicate me, O Lord, according to your righteousness; and let not them rejoice over me.

Psalm 35:24


Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Counselor's Corner: Why Routine and Structure Are Good For You




When you are needing to get something accomplished, set a goal, or make progress in an area of your life; routine and structure will be important.

Let’s look at a definition of routine:
A regular way of doing things in a particular order.

►Routine builds perseverance.

Why do you need perseverance? Perseverance builds persistence in a steady course of action, especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement.

Whenever you set out to accomplish tasks, in particular achieving goals you will be excited in the beginning. Anything new can be exciting, but when the emotional high leaves after you realize the goal you made is not as thrilling as actually making the goal.

Setting your mind to get something accomplished is only the first step


The stage after you decide to set a goal or accomplish a task and before your goal is achieved, there is the “in-between” stage. This stage is where routine and structure will be important. Doing the same thing over and over again may sound a bit boring, and frankly it can be, but it pays off! For example when I made the goal to start running 2 years ago, I was enthusiastic to begin. However, my enthusiasm for running ended pretty quickly after I was meet with sore knees and calves and not wanting to get up at 6am to run. Now, I look forward to running and no longer experience the physical pain I did before. What happened to get me to this point? I developed routine for my running that developed into perseverance when there were days it was a challenge for me to run.

If you are not organized or a planner and tend to be more chaotic and disorganized, having structure will allow you get those goals accomplished that you want. Without goals and direction you will most likely will get off course and very likely not get what you want done.

►Structure enables you to set goals for the day, the week and throughout the year. It is important that you write out your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals and make them as specific as possible. Unstructured people have more difficulty achieving long-term goals, and tend to easily be distracted by other things. When you are distracted, you lose focus. If you lose focus you will not stay on track.

Structure builds consistency. Consistency is important because it creates stability and not chaos. Many of your day-to-day actions will become automatic when you build in structure, this can be important for activities you do not enjoy like chores. You will feel more tranquil when there is a certain amount of order in your life. An orderly home can bring much peace. If you have difficulty with spending money being structured can curb your spending. You will be more focused on paying your bills, tithing, saving, and then spending some on you.

►Lack of structure leads to impulsiveness. When you are impulsive you may do things you regret later.

When you build structure into your life you actually get more done, and can have spare time to do the things that you enjoy.

Routine and structure are very important for people in recovery, have addictions, deal with ADHD, depression, or work from home.

Routine and structure:
Frees your mind of clutter.
Builds good habits.
Increases efficiency and productivity.
Builds momentum.
Helps you stay on task.
Feel less overwhelmed with your work load.
Better time management.

Research has shown that throughout history most successful people in their fields almost all had daily routines.

►Reflection questions:

1.      Should every day of your life have routine and structure? No, you can have a day to relax or go on vacation, you just can’t do that every day. Make sure to have time for breaks and enjoyment in your routine. Life happens, so there will be times that your routine and structure are broken, just make sure to get back on track as soon as you can.

2.      What daily routines do you need to implement? Weekly routines? (Remember to write them out and be specific).

3.      How can you have more structure in your life? How will you incorporate time for breaks, relaxing, and enjoying life being structured?

4.      What are the benefits of routine and structure for you personally?








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