Counselor's Corner: Choose to Magnify the Good in Your Life

Dictionary.com defines magnify as to make greater in actual size or to enlarge.

What are you magnifying in your life? God’s blessings and goodness or all your difficulties?

What you CHOOSE to focus on will become larger. Our problems become larger as we mull them over and over again. A magnifying lens will actually make something smaller look larger, but if you pull the magnifying lens back what you were looking at will get smaller. If we stop gazing at our problems and focus our eyes instead on Jesus we will gain His perspective on our situation-our problems will get smaller in His presence.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

I recently had many opportunities to focus on what was going wrong in my life, but I have made a decision to reflect on what is right instead. For a season in my life, I magnified all that was negative in my life. The enemy had me so consumed with what has not come to pass in my life, or my losses, or my trials that I had difficulty seeing any good. Now, I know none of you have ever magnified the bad over the good, but if you ever have done this you will know that it makes matters worse. I did not intentionally set out to amplify my circumstances, but sometimes life hits you with one curve ball after another, and before long you can find yourself deep in the pit of despair.

When we have difficult trials in our lives, magnifying the good will be a conscious choice. In other words, you will not feel like focusing on the good in your life. Heartache and pain can cause you to look at what is wrong in your life, and the enemy will then magnify or distort the true reality of your anguish.

Set your minds on things above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2

Start your day by writing (5) things that you are grateful for. Doing this will shift your thinking from the negative to the positive. Even if you feel nothing is going right, think again! Dig deep and take some time to reflect on what you do have. Practice the skill of gratitude daily and you will begin to think differently about what is wrong in your life.

We all have problems and situations in our lives that if we stare at them to long, we will become overwhelmed, anxious, worried, depressed, and full of fear. This is exactly what the enemy wants. What if instead we gave our problems over to the Lord, and daily cast our cares upon Him? What if we began to magnify the blessings in our lives and stopped gawking at our problems? What would your life look like if you did these things?

·        For additional practical help in how you can overcome a negative thought life and have a better attitude. Check out my new book, “Disciplining your mind, 30days to a new you,” by clicking on the boo title or through Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. #overcomingyourthoughtlife #discipliningyourmind

Counselor's Corner: Tips for Improving Your Mental Health for 2018

When we think of New Year’s resolutions, usually it is to improve our physical health, however, maintaining good mental and emotional habits are just as important. If you have had a challenging year in 2017, it is time to reevaluate why and what you can do differently for 2018.

Being mentally healthy means that you have a sense of wellbeing, you are able to function with everyday life and meet challenges in confidence.

Risk factors that can compromise your emotional health:

1.                  Poor connection/attachment to your primary caregiver early in life.

2.                  Childhood trauma and/or early losses through death, divorce, etc.

3.                  Learned helplessness. Believing that you are helpless and can do little to change your situations.

4.                  Physical illness that is long-term or debilitating.

5.                  Substance abuse. This can lead to initially having a release of “feel good” chemicals, but the long-term effects of chronic use can deplete these chemicals.

6.                  Traumatic losses and/or chronic stress.

  

All of these risk factors can be counteracted with protective factors. There are steps that you can take to improve your emotional wellbeing. Your brain can actually manufacture its own “feel good” chemicals, called endorphins.

In addition to exercise, endorphins can be released naturally by:

1.      Eating chocolate, but choose dark chocolate. Chocolate contains the endorphin anandamide, which helps you relax. Eat (1) 4oz. piece daily.

2.      Find ways to laugh. The act of laughing helps you feel good instantly.

3.      Smiling, but only a true smile will do.

4.      Eating spicy foods.

5.      Thinking positive, faith-filled thoughts, and limiting unhealthy mental habits like worrying. Negative thoughts drain your energy and trigger feelings of anxiety, fear, and depression. *For additional reading on overcoming negative mindsets, check out my book, “Disciplining Your Mind, 30 Days to a New You.”

6.      Exposure to 10-15 minutes of daily sunlight.

7.      Use all of your senses. View beautiful artwork, listen to your favorite music, smell your favorite scents, or walk barefoot.

8.      Interacting with others that are healthy and positive for you.

9.      Engage in creative work, such as painting, building, gardening, or writing.

10.  Take time to enjoy life and do things that simulate you such as a walk in the park, going to the movies, or reading a book.

11.  Volunteer or be active in your community/church.

12.  Rest and refresh. Sleep restores your mind as well as your body. However, feelings of fatigue will set in if you are constantly rushed and overwhelmed. Allow yourself to have unfocused time each day to refresh.

People who are emotionally healthy are in control of their emotions.

Ask yourself these following questions to see if you need a boost in your emotional health?

1.      Do you have a sense of contentment?

2.      Are you able to enjoy life, have times of fun and relaxation, and not take life so seriously?

3.      Can you bounce back from setbacks/difficulties fairly quickly?

4.      Do you have meaning and purpose in your life?

5.      Are your relationships healthy? And do you have times of social interaction with them?

6.      Are you flexible with change?

7.      Do you have a balance of work, play, rest, and time with God?

8.      Do you think positive about yourself?

If you answered yes to most of the questions above, you can more readily cope when faced with life’s challenges and stresses.

Being emotionally and mentally healthy does not mean that you will never go through tough times or experience emotional problems. We can still at times feel sadness, anxiety and stress. The difference is your ability to bounce back after adversity, and not remain stuck in the hardships. This ability is called resilience. People who have resilience have “tools” for coping in difficult times. They are able to stay focused, flexible, and maintain a good outlook.

Are you ready for a healthier mental/emotional you for 2018? Let me know about it and let me know if you ordered a copy of my book and how I can help you.

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts by troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”