Thursday, April 13, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: Inferiority Complex


A definition of inferiority complex is to lack self-esteem; feel inadequate; lack self-confidence; and feel second-rate.


God designed all of us differently, with diverse talents, gifts, and personalities. Yet, some struggle with feeling unworthy and comparing themselves to others. Some people believe they just don’t measure up, and no matter what they do it just not quit good enough. They are always second-guessing themselves, and end-up feeling that their opinions don’t really count.

Low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence is at the root of inferiority. Usually, someone develops low self-worth and lack of confidence in early childhood years. This could stem from being bullied, rejected, verbal/mentally abused, or repeated failures in a person’s life. Not knowing who you are in Christ can impact your feelings of unworthiness. Believing what others have said about you or the lies of the enemy can surely affect your self-esteem.

Reflect and ponder: What do you believe about yourself? Do you believe you are as worthy as others?

Counselor’s Corner: Believe the best about yourself, and more importantly what God says about you. There is no one else like you on earth, so stop comparing yourself to others. God knew what He was doing when He created you; you were no surprise to Him. Allow the Lord to bring you inner healing from your past, and uncover the roots of your inferiority. You are not what others have said and done to you.

Instead of believing what others have said or done to you, try trusting what God says about you. Say the below scriptures out loud every day until you believe them. Write out these and any other scriptures that speak to you on index cards, and place throughout your home and your car. Read the index cards as you pass by them. You are retraining your thoughts to line up with God’s truth about you. This is one of the best ways to increase your confidence and self-esteem, by knowing God’s thoughts towards you.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

"I am the body of Christ and Satan hath no power over me. For I overcome evil with good" (1 Corinthians 12:27; Romans 12:21).

"I will fear no evil for thou art with me Lord, your Word and your Spirit they comfort me" (Psalm 23:4).

"No weapon formed against me shall prosper, for my righteousness is of the Lord. But whatever I do will prosper for I'm like a tree that's planted by the rivers of water" (Isaiah 54:17; Psalm 1:3).

"Christ has redeemed (paid the price for our freedom) me from the curse of the law. Therefore, I forbid any sickness or disease to come upon this body" (Galatians 3:13).

"Christ has redeemed me from the curse of the law. Christ has redeemed me from poverty, Christ has redeemed me from sickness, Christ has redeemed me from spiritual death" (Galatians 3:13; Deuteronomy 28:15-68).

"Because I am born of God and His heir and more valuable than many sparrows, therefore I have great value. I honor and esteem myself highly, but I honor and esteem others more than myself" (Galatians 4:7; Matthew 10:31; Romans 12:10).

"The blessing of Abraham has come upon me through Jesus Christ and therefore whatever I do will prosper" (Galatians 3:14).

"Because God has shed His love abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit, I love God more than life and I love myself and others with the love of God. I put God first, others second and myself last." (Romans 5:5; Mark 12:30-31).

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens, enables and empowers me. There is nothing I cannot do through Christ for with God all things are possible" (Philippians 4:13; Matthew 19:26).

"I am the head and not the tail, above and not beneath" (Deuteronomy 28:13).

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Proverbs 18:21).

"Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything." (Proverbs 13:3)

Below are some scriptures with positive affirmations that you can always say out loud:

I take every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus Christ, casting down every imagination, and every high and lofty thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. (2 Corinthians 10:5).

As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is. Therefore all of my thoughts are positive. I do not allow the devil to use my spirit as a garbage dump by meditating on negative things that he offers me. (Proverbs 23:7).

I do not speak negative things about myself. (Ephesians 4:29).

I am very prosperous. I prosper in everything I put my hands to. I have prosperity in all areas of my life-spiritual, mental, financial, and social. (Genesis 39:3; Joshua 1:8; 3 John 2).

I am joyful always. (Thessalonians 5:16).




Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: Do You Need a Fresh Start?


Has life been challenging for you and you feel you need a do-over? You may have difficulties in every area of your life-relational, occupational, mental/emotional, and even spiritual. Your way of doing things is no longer working, but you don’t know what to do differently either to make things better. You have begged and pleaded with God to answer your prayers and yet He seems so silent at times.


Reflect and ponder: Is your life working for you? Do you need a fresh start in life, but you don’t know how to get that? Are you frustrated because you have tried to “hit the resend button” and instead of moving forward you go backwards?

Counselor’s Corner:

How to start fresh in your life:

1.      Stop begging and pleading with God about your situations, He has heard you. Instead, get up every morning and worship God and sit quietly before Him-just sit at His feet not trying to get God to answer your prayers. Yes, it is good to pray, but after sitting at His feet first and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to you first.
2.      Let God have the battle you are in. Rest in Papa God that He IS COMING THROUGH for you, maybe not when you think He should or how you think He should come through. After you have worshiped and given God the praise He deserves, sit back and relax and watch Him come through.
3.      Get rid of your to-do list for God! He wants a relationship with you above anything you could do for Him. Sit with Abba more and let Him love on you a lot! When you allow Abba to love on you, it will be so much easier to love on others. Know His love first! Your first priority is not serving more and doing more, but spending time with your Daddy!
4.      Renew your mind by disciplining your thought life. Take every thought captive into the obedience of Christ. Don’t let your mind agree with the thoughts of the enemy, you do not have to accept every thought as truth! Speak blessings over your life not curses. Speak blessings over your enemies.
5.      Release everyone who has hurt or offended you.
6.      Maintain peace at all times and in every situation. Divine peace is warfare! When you keep your peace, the enemy is confused. Confuse the enemy with your constant peace.
7.      Begin walking by faith and not by sight, and call into existence those things that are not as though they are.
8.      Forgive yourself, completely! God has forgiven you, so you must follow what God has done.
9.      Love yourself and begin to nurture yourself. Be good to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes and don’t condemn yourself for the past-it over, so move on! No more self-hate, self-condemnation, and no more living in past regrets.
10.  Humble yourself. Admit you can’t do anything without God and you need Him desperately. Keep a humble, gentle and peaceful spirit with all that you encounter, never let anyone cause you to react negatively (greater is He that is in you than he that is in this world). Let no one stir your emotions to anger, offense, irritation, or bitterness.
11.  Get rid of all complaining, murmuring, criticizing, faultfinding and negativity. Be thankful and grateful every day, instead of rehearsing your complaints try instead to say what your blessings are.
12.  Accept what has changed in your life. Your life may not have what it had years ago, but dwelling on what is missing will cause you stay stuck. Accept your life, not wanting someone else’s life. Stop all comparisons to others, your neighbors, your coworkers, your family, etc. Embrace fully who you are and accept yourself! Be content with the lot that you have been given.
13.  Laugh more, dance in the rain and stop to smell the roses-ENJOY the life that God has given you!
14.  Give over your reigns to Christ. He is in control and trust His ways are good and best for you. Let go of all control.
15.  Wipe your slate clean-no more rummaging through your past and torturing yourself with all your failures, only take with you into your fresh start what worked and was a success (leave everything else behind).

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit. I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26



Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: Cease From Striving From Worry, Reasoning and Fretting



Your body is meant to be balanced in every area-physical, mental and spiritual. You can throw your body out of alignment by excessive worry, reasoning and fretting. When your mind has a negative thought and you don’t take that thought captive, that thought causes you to react and stress hormones are flooded into your body causing a host of problems-anxiety, sickness, weakened immune system and cardiovascular issues. Thoughts precede behavior, so if you think long enough about a problem or a negative circumstance your body will have a reaction!

A definition of worry is to give way to anxiety or unease; or to allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulties or troubles.

Synonyms of anxiety:

Fret
To be concerned
To be anxious
Overthink
Brood
Panic
Lose sleep
Get worked up
Get stressed
Torment oneself

►Did you know that 75-90% of all doctors’ visits are stress-related?
►85% of what you worry about never happens and 15% of what does happen you can handle better than you thought!

Reflect and ponder: Are you in a state of unrest or unbalance? Could excessive worry, reasoning or fretting be responsible? Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “If I were God, I sure would do this?” You cannot trust someone that you do not know. You cannot trust someone to take care of you if you believe they are going to hurt you. What do you really believe about Jesus? Are you upset with Him for not taking care of you in the ways you thought best, and as a result you are not in a state of peace and rest? Do you feel God has let you down and therefore you need to take care of your own life? What do you really know about Papa God and His love for you?


Counselor’s Corner:

With excessive worrying, your mind and body go into overdrive and you constantly focus on “what might happen.” Chronic worry can affect your daily life that it interferes with your appetite, relationships, sleep and job performance.
-Physical Effects of Worry- WEBMD

If you have undergone high levels of stress, trauma, or any type of crisis; you may have unknowingly fallen into the trap of worrying. You may have become hyper-vigilant and super-guarded as a result of the chronic stress you have endured. Falsely, you may now believe if you can “predict and control” what bad events may occur-perhaps then they won’t occur. Worrying never solves anything, but you have learned overtime that by worrying you might can prevent something else bad from happening.
Worry is a sign of deeper anxiety. Get to the “roots” of your worrying. Very common this habit is born in childhood usually due to some type of abuse or trauma of being on the lookout for new trouble. Being on the lookout for troubles can be intensified as you grow into adulthood and more difficulties come your way.

One of the “root” lies that should be dismantled is,” I have to take care of myself, therefore I must find a solution to every problem in my life.” This causes much unrest and it is a result of not being able to trust the most important people in your life, and this got extended to Abba Father. In your mind if you could not trust your mother, father, sister, brother or your spouse than how can you trust God to take care of you? A person who feels that must solve their own problems and take care of themselves is always exhausted, burdened and full of anxiety. You were never meant to carry your load by yourself but life has said to you,” You must not lose control or give up control because if you do everything around you will fall apart.”

Deal with problems as they come, not as you perceive in your imagination what could happen. When you worry it ultimately says that you don’t trust God (and you may not), but don’t beat yourself up for this. God knows your heart and He does not condemn you. Go to the Father and tell Him how you feel and then repent of your fear for not letting Him have full control. Don’t begin to project what may come down the road, and for on-going problems in your life that tempt you into worry-daily surrender these to the Father and let go (daily) and let God take those cares (daily). God knows the trauma in your life that has caused you to live in worry, but He wants to heal you not condemn you!

Worry occurs when you have a problem that cannot be controlled or solved, and helplessness sets in such as when you have a child addicted to drugs and you don’t know where they are at or what they are doing. If you surrender each problem into God’s hands, you can have His rest and peace, but the problem is that many don’t prefer God’s will or His way of doing things. Many times it is hard to see that God’s ways are best. Other times, there is a lack of trust and patience with God. When you let go of the worry, God’s peace can rule over your anxious heart and mind. No one can predict what will happen, and no amount of worry will cause anything in your life to be better-in fact, worry will make things worse! Worry truly does not help, instead it sends signals through your body to be on high alert, and this in turn causes an unbalance though each major system in your body including your brain. Worry robs you of peace, joy, and living in the present. Worry is toxic. Toxic means poisonous or hazardous.


MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7


Peace I leave you; My peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Monday, April 10, 2017

Counselor’s Corner: God is Bigger than the Giants you Are Facing



The problem that is facing you may be large and may seem impossible to overcome, but God is bigger than what you are encountering. The enemy likes to magnify your difficulties, and by doing this your problems appear larger than they really are. When your problems seem larger than they really are, fear, anxiety and worry can overcome you.

Reflect and ponder: Do you have any situations in your life that seem impossible to overcome, or perhaps your circumstances seem larger than what God can do?

Counselor’s Corner: Let’s take a look at the story of David and Goliath for overcoming impossible situations or the “giants” in your life. The Israelite soldiers woke up every morning to hearing the relentless taunting of Goliath. The Israelite's focused on Goliath’s size-he was very large, a giant! The Israelite's listened to Goliath’s demeaning words and they knew they could not win the battle against him, so they did nothing. However, David spent time in the presence of the Lord, singing praises to Him and he continually spent time with the Lord. When David saw Goliath he did not waste any time in fear, but because he had been with the Father he knew who would be fighting for him. David knew he did not need any special weapons to fight Goliath because he understood that God would fight the battle for him.

Remember the story in the Bible in the book of Numbers where the Israelite's were to possess the Promised Land, but when the 12 Israelite's spied on their land before entering it and saw the giants…they ran in fear. However, Joshua and Caleb saw something different than the 12 spies. The 12 spies looked at the giants and knew there was no way they could win, but Joshua and Caleb looked at the giants and knew there was no way could not win!  When facing “giants” in your life, it is important to realize that God can do the impossible and remove that “giant” in your life. Having this kind of confidence that God will fight for you comes only from spending imitate time with the Father. Sitting every day at the feet of Jesus (in His presence) will equip and prepare you for your battles. When you spend quiet time with God, listening to the Holy Spirit there is no need to worry how to fight your battles because in God’s rest and His strength He will battle for you and he will give you strategies to win!

Yes, your “giants” are most likely bigger and stronger than you, but are they bigger and stronger than God?

Who are you focusing on more? The “giants” in your life or the King of Kings? Victory came for David and the Israelite's because David had spent time in the presence of the King, and this time prepared David’s heart that with God on his side no giant would be impossible to defeat.

What you focus on, you magnify!

Your problems may not change, but you can stop focusing your gaze upon how big your problems are and instead focus on how big your God is! Instead of focusing on your problems daily, CHOOSE to get up every day like David did and focus on God and His presence.

Guard your alone time with the Father. Distractions will try and steal your time with God. The devil sets you up to get you upset, because he knows that when you get emotional and upset you have a hard time hearing God.

Many times in your life you will face “giants” that seem impossible to conquer, but God promises in His Word that you already have the victory in Jesus Christ. At times God brings giants, storms and challenges so you so that you will grow in your faith.

MEDITATE ON THESE SCRIPTURES:

David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” 1 Samuel 17:35

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. Exodus 14:14






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